Chapter 17

Cripples and broken things

King's Landing, 2 weeks later

Jaime sat in the garden, silently staring in front of him. He had no idea how long he had sat there. It didn't matter. Right now he only wanted to be by himself. He needed time to gather his thoughts after everything that had happened. His son was dead. Cersei was devastated. Jaime had tried his best to comfort her, but she didn't want him near her. She only wanted to find the person who had poisoned Joffrey.

Of course Jaime wanted that as well, but he had realized something after his son's death. He didn't grieve for Joffrey the way a father should. He wasn't nearly as devastated as Cersei. He didn't feel much anything. What was wrong with him? What kind of a man was he? The truth was that he had noticed there was something wrong with Joffrey when the boy had been just a child. His cruel and downright sadistic nature had always bothered Jaime, but he had tried his best to ignore it.

Cersei had always adored Joffrey and she had ignored all Jaime's attempts to talk about the boy's cruelty. To Cersei Joffrey had been nothing but perfect, she had refused to see any of his flaws. Jaime had seen them and he had feared for all Joffrey's subjects. The memory of the Mad King was still very clear in his mind. Deep down, he had known that Joffrey's reign wouldn't last for long, not unless someone could control the boy's nature.

Yet at the same time he had been deeply ashamed by such thoughts. What kind of a father was he? He had tried his hardest to teach the boy, but he had failed. Joffrey hadn't cared about anything he had to say. Perhaps a son like Joffrey had been Jaime's punishment from the Gods. He had thought about that many times. To him his love for Cersei had always been pure and unconditional, but perhaps the Gods disagreed.

Yet they had blessed Jaime with Tommen and Myrcella. There was nothing cruel about those children. Jaime sighed and buried his face in his hands. Feeling his golden hand against his skin startled him for a moment. Once again he had forgotten the damn thing. He hated it. He was only half of a man without his sword hand. A master swordsman had always been an important part of who he was. Now he was a pathetic cripple.

"Good evening, brother," Tyrion's voice suddenly said.

Jaime tried his best to look calm as he raised his head.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Tyrion continued.

"Go ahead," Jaime murmured gloomily.

Tyrion sat on the stone bench beside Jaime. They were both quiet for a while.

"How is Minea?" Jaime asked, as the thought suddenly crossed his mind.

Tyrion had returned from the North few days ago, but Jaime hadn't really had time to talk with him.

"What do you think?" Tyrion sighed. "Those people hate us."

Jaime frowned.

"Were they disrespectful?"

"That's an understatement," Tyrion replied tensely. "She didn't exactly receive a warm welcome. The wedding was dreadful."

"Did you tell father?"

"I did. He only wanted to know is she with child yet."

Jaime sighed and shook his head.

"She shouldn't have been sent there. She's just a child."

"She's 17," Tyrion pointed out.

"Really? I thought she's younger."

"Me too," Tyrion sighed. "To me she's still my lion cub."

"I regret for not spending more time with her," Jaime muttered. "She's my little sister; I should have gotten to know her better."

"It was father's choice to keep her in Casterly Rock," Tyrion stated. "I think that was a mistake, he should have let her see the world. Offer her a chance to become more confident."

"I agree," Jaime replied. "She was always in the library when I went to visit her." He paused and smiled. "She was a cute little bookworm though."

"Yes, she was."

They were both quiet again, Jaime noticed Tyrion looking at his golden hand.

"How are you doing?" Tyrion asked after a moment of silence.

"I'm not sure," Jaime replied truthfully.

"I'm sorry for Joffrey."

"Thank you."

"Tommen seems to be doing well."

"Yes, he's a good boy. I'm very proud of him."

"As you should be," Tyrion replied and grinned. "He seems to be very attached to his future queen."

"Yes, he is."

Cersei couldn't stand Margaery Tyrell, but Jaime had nothing against her. The woman was clearly ambitious, but she wasn't malevolent. Jaime was pretty sure that she would be a good queen and a good wife for Tommen. Hopefully Cersei would eventually see that.

"And how is our sister doing?" Tyrion asked.

"She's grieving for her son," Jaime murmured. "As you can imagine."

"Yes."

Jaime was aware that Tyrion hadn't liked Joffrey.

"Thankfully she has you to comfort her," Tyrion continued, keeping his voice neutral.

"She doesn't want or need my company," Jaime murmured. "She made that more than clear."

"Oh. What are you planning to do then?"

"I have no idea," Jaime sighed and glanced at his golden hand. Once again he felt anger and bitterness. He was completely useless.

"You know," Tyrion started. "I have a suggestion."

"Do tell," Jaime snorted.

"I think traveling could do you good."

Jaime frowned.

"What? Where would I possibly want to travel?"

"To North. I think Minea would appreciate your company."

"I can't leave King's Landing, Tommen…"

"…is doing well," Tyrion finished. "He has all the help he needs, including me. And as you said, Cersei doesn't want your company at the moment."

"There's still the matter of finding Joffrey's murderer."

"We will," Tyrion assured. "I have no doubt that father will take care of that."

"I don't know…"

"I think you need this, Jaime," Tyrion assured firmly. "And our sister needs you."

The thought of the sweet little girl and her books melted Jaime's heart. Maybe this was a chance for him to actually be useful to someone.