Chapter 19

Walls

Minea tried her best to stay calm as she looked at her husband. His gloomy face made her very nervous, she couldn't help but to wonder how she had displeased him this time.

"What can I do for you, my lord?" she asked cautiously.

He cleared his throat and glanced at the small table beside her bed. She noticed a wine bottle and two goblets.

"Drink?" he asked.

She was about to say no, but then she realized the obvious reason why he was here. He wanted to bed her. She suppressed a sigh, knowing that she couldn't refuse him. A drink started to sound like a good idea.

"Yes, please, my lord."

He poured wine into both goblets and handed her the other one.

"Thank you."

"Please," he said and gestured towards the bed. "Take a seat."

She did as she was told and emptied her goblet. Maybe she couldn't turn him down, but she wasn't going to pretend that she was looking forward to this. She no longer hoped anything from him; she had accepted their marriage the way it was. A duty. He had made it clear what he wanted from her; her body as his enjoyment and giving birth to his heir.

Her thoughts and feelings were meaningless to him. Fine. She wasn't going to let him take her dignity. Silently he sat beside her, keeping a small distance between them. Neither of them spoke, she didn't have anything to say to him. He kept his eyes on his goblet and took a small sip.

"My lady…" he finally started. "I… I'm not sure where to start."

"Would you like me to undress?" she asked coolly.

"No," he murmured. "I don't."

"I see. Shall I just lift my hem then?"

"No." He paused and took a deep breath. "I realize you probably hate me and I can't really blame you for that."

His words surprised her so much that she turned to look at him.

"I beg your pardon?"

He shook his head.

"No, I'm the one who should say that. I haven't treated you well, not like a decent man should treat his wife."

Minea didn't know what to say, she was stunned.

"I have no excuse for my behavior," he continued. "You didn't deserve that."

She was still speechless; all she could do was stare at him.

"I don't know if I can fix what I have broken, but I want to apologize. You have been a good wife."

"Thank you, my lord," she finally managed to say.

"I would like you to call me Robb."

"You don't find that too intimate?" she required sharply before she managed to stop herself. He had never addressed her by her first name without any title, so she hadn't done that either. Another way for him to keep the distance between them.

"I suppose I deserved that," he stated after a moment of silence. "You and I have been a husband and a wife for a while now; I realize we should have had this conversation a long time ago."

She observed him for a moment before replying.

"What has changed? If you don't mind me asking."

He looked at his goblet again and took a long gulp.

"I have understood some things," he murmured. "Perhaps too late. As I said, I don't blame you for hating me."

"I don't hate you," she replied after a moment of silence.

"I'm guessing you don't like me much either."

She wasn't sure what to say, the whole thing felt unreal.

"Does that matter to you?" she asked quietly.

"Aye. I would like to know do I have any chance to fix things."

"What do you mean?"

He pressed his lips together and moved a little closer to her.

"I want to be a better husband to you. The way I have acted… I have brought shame to my father and… Talisa. She was a good woman and I know she would have never married the man I have become."

Minea heard the pain in his voice and she couldn't help but to feel sympathy.

"You love her very much."

"Aye. When I lost her and our child, I had no will to live. I wanted to die with them."

Minea bowed her head.

"I'm deeply sorry for your loss."

"Thank you. I'm not trying to justify my behavior, I'm only asking you to give me a chance. I… I can be better. I want to be better."

Minea thought about his words, they were almost too good to be true.

"You want us to…start over?"

He bit his bottom lip.

"Obviously I can't ask you to simply forget everything, but I was hoping that we could… try to build a better marriage. I don't want you to be unhappy."

"I don't want you to be unhappy either, my lord," she murmured.

"Please, Robb."

"Robb…"

It felt strange to say his name after all this time. Like a wall would have been lifted between them with that one word. Well, at least one wall. There were more of them, but this was a start. She still wasn't sure did she dare to hope. Could they really build a better marriage? Could they… She didn't have time to finish her thoughts when he suddenly leaned forward.

"Minea," he murmured before his lips touched hers and his hands gripped her arms. She was too stunned to react; this was a completely new experience to her. Her first kiss. His lips felt surprisingly soft as he slowly tasted every part of hers. He licked over her lips with his tongue and as they parted he turned his head, controlling the kiss with experimental passion.

He tasted like wine and something else she couldn't recognize. She felt his hand at the back of her head, his tongue pushing against hers. The new sensations were sizzling through her senses when he suddenly stopped and pulled away. She blinked and looked at him in wonder. He smiled and kissed her hand before standing up.

"I will see you soon at dinner, my wife."