Chapter 5

"Some of us 2nds and 3rds are going to this bar in Loveless Avenue tonight", Zach said, fidgeting slightly, "And I was wondering if you might be interested."

Alcohol, music and people in high spirits? Hell yes, I was interested. "I might. Whether I can come depends entirely on the General, however."

Zach perked up. "He should come too! I was already going to ask Angeal if he and Genesis want to come and if the General's coming then they are definitely going to follow." When I looked at him in question, he explained: "I mean, it's not every day you get to see him outside of Shinra, is it? They wouldn't want to miss it."

Now that he mentioned it, as far as I knew, the General hadn't once gone anywhere since we had started working together. Didn't the man have any hobbies or favored places to help him unwind?

"I shall ask him", I decided. And by 'ask', I meant 'pressure'.

O O O

"Zach Fair invited us to join him and his friends on their outing this evening", I told the General as soon as I returned from training with the young SOLDIER. "They are going to a bar on Loveless Avenue."

For a moment, the man just stared at me blankly. Then hesitantly, he asked me: "And you wish to… go with them?"

I nodded, "If possible." I paused, and then added: "If keeping me summoned so long is an issue, I completely understand."

"I can take an ether to extend my reserves", the General admitted. "That should allow you to remain until midnight at the very least."

I smiled, starting to feel a familiar excitement buzzing under my skin. "So we're going?"

"'We'?" He repeated, and blinked.

"You are coming with me, aren't you?" I asked him.

Reluctance was painted all over him as he replied: "I was not planning to, no."

"I would… very much like you to join me", I told him. I couldn't really say why it was important to me that he come with, especially considering how strained and tense things had been with us lately and how I had every intention of making this evening one of relaxing and letting loose. Some part of me insisted that there could be no release for me if he wasn't near. And I needed this, damn it.

The General sighed – oh, the sweet sound of surrender! – and said: "Very well."

Feeling quite pleased myself, and life in general, I wasted no time and messaging Zach to let him know we were coming.

All hyped up and rearing to go, it took quite some effort to get any work done for the rest of the day.

Considering how reluctant the General looked, I had actually begun to wonder if I would be forced to physically drag him down to Sector 8 when the work day was over. It turned out, however, that the man was quite familiar with having to just 'suck it up and deal'. He downed an ether to top up his MP reserves and then down we went.

Our destination wasn't far and I could see why it would be popular among the Shinra employees. It was still early evening so it wasn't too crowded, plenty of free space at the little tables and booths around the front part of the place. At the back, I could see a dance floor, it too still almost entirely empty. The bar was by the right-hand wall, and the moment I laid my eyes on it, I was making a beeline for it. Because: Alcohol.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm hardly an alcoholic. There's just something so freeing about the little buzz it could give you as it helped you shed some of the inhibitions you normally just couldn't get rid of. That's why I had been in the habit of going drinking at least once every two weeks.

Perhaps you could say that I should know better. After all, it had been a night out that had led to my untimely demise. All I can say is that I strongly believe that there are things that you just can't give up. This was one of those for me.

Realizing I had no idea what kind of drinks they might serve in this world, I asked the barkeep to surprise me. When he glanced above my left shoulder, eyebrow raised in question, I realized the General had followed. I mean, of course he had. But I had completely succeeded in forgetting him for a moment there.

When the General just stared at the barkeep wordlessly, I spoke for him: "He'll take something extra strong. Whatever the heavier drinking SOLDIERs are drinking."

As the barkeep turned to fulfill our order, the General said to me: "I am unaffected by alcohol."

I had figured as much. "Sucks to be you", I told him.

His eyes slid over the place with an unreadable look. "Frankly, I have never seen the appeal."

"Not everyone does", I commented with shrug.

The barkeep placed the drinks on the counter. "That's twenty gil."

I shot my summoner an expectant look and he paid without looking the least bit reluctant. Obviously, he would be paying. It wasn't like I had any money to pay with.

I grabbed the drinks and turned to face the rest of the bar, asking: "Do you see anyone you recognize."

He was quick to gesture to the tables on the other side of the space. "Angeal, Genesis and Fair are over there."

"Great!" I exclaimed. "Lead the way."

As we got closer I realized he couldn't have actually seen any of the three of them from where we had been standing, which led to me wondering if he had heard them because if so, then damn that man had a pair of impressive ears on him. Along with impressive everything else.

"So, it wasn't just wishful thinking on the puppy's part", said Genesis by the way of a greeting as we walked over. "The Great General Sephiroth, out here with the rest of us mortals. I can barely believe my eyes!"

"Genesis", Hewley said admonishingly before turning to the General. "It is good to see you here, old friend." And the polite kind of person that he was, he added to me: "You as well, Miss Valkyria."

"Wouldn't have missed this for the world", I told him as I took a seat next to Zach. It was a U-shaped booth they had chosen, with Hewley sitting at the bend with Zach to his right and Rhapsodos to his left. It was a tough choice, choosing which was the lesser evil: brushing elbows with the red-coated SOLDIER or having to watch his sneering face across the table, but I decided seeing him was less distasteful than actually having any physical contact with him. That left the General sitting next to the red-head, but I figured he didn't much care either way.

I pushed the General's drink across the small table to him and then took a large gulp of my own. It was delicious and judging by the taste of it, probably also rather high on alcohol content. In other words: Perfect.

"I'm a little surprised you could get here this early", Zach commented.

I agreed with him. It wasn't rare for the General and I to work overtime and I had fully expected him to use the little fact to postpone having to come here until the last possible moment. But he hadn't, so I looked at him in question.

"Valkyria was looking forward to this", the man said, "And there was nothing so pressing that it wouldn't wait until tomorrow at the office." He paused, and added: "There is also a limit to how long I can keep her summoned, even with the ether I took earlier."

I sighed, a little wistfully. "Like a fucking Cinderella, aren't I?"

They all looked at me in incomprehension. "I'm sorry?" Hewley voiced his confusion.

I waved a dismissive hand. "Never mind, not important."

The place was quickly filling up as SOLDIERs and others were getting off work, I noted. I also noted that my glass was empty. Luckily, there was a waitress nearby.

O O O

I had been worried there for a moment, but a couple of hours of some serious drinking and I finally felt I was at least a little drunk and not totally, depressingly sober. The dance floor was finally getting some action and I had had enough of waiting.

"Zach…" I began, pressing myself against his arm, looking at him from under lowered lashes enticingly. "While I'm sure these three gentlemen are much too stiff to be up for it, you aren't as dull as them, are you?" He was frowning at me, not yet getting what I was getting at. So, I clarified: "You'll come and dance with me, won't you?"

"Oh!" He blinked in surprise and then smiled radiantly. "Of course!"

I slid off my seat and grabbed his hand, pulling him after me. He stumbled a little when I tucked at his arm just when he was getting up, but didn't seem to mind, and gamely followed me as I dragged him to the dancefloor less than half a dozen meters from where we'd been sitting, already moving to the heady beat before my feet even hit the dancefloor.

Then it was just… being alive.

Dancing to music loud enough that I could feel it in my chest, surrounded by people losing themselves to the sensations, that was one of the places I felt most alive. Few things could compete. Though I started out dancing with Zach, I made sure to keep it to just a touch here and there, not allowing myself to enjoy any more from him, because every touch felt like fireworks in my veins and he wasn't old enough, un-innocent enough for me to enjoy myself with. But I could still bask in the way his eyes instinctively followed me, followed my every move. The way his pupils dilated, his cheeks flushed. I drank in the look of hunger in his eyes like a woman dying of thirst.

It had been too long. Far too long.

Then there was a hand on my waist and I turned to find someone, a non-SOLDIER someone making a move on me, and I pushed Zach out of my mind entirely. This guy, he was older, and by no means innocent. No, this guy knew exactly what he wanted, and it was even better than the clueless desire I had triggered in Zach.

But even that guy couldn't keep my attention for long. In his twenties, good-looking and bold. Quite delectable all in all, but not the best this place had to offer, so when I saw another man, one even more to my taste, watching me with obvious interest, I was quick to move on.

I was on a hunt. It was familiar. I loved it.

O O O

There was silence at their table as all three of the SOLDIER 1sts watched Zach and Valkyria hurry over to the dancefloor and join the throng of moving bodies.

After a moment Angeal broke the silence. "Oh my…"

Sephiroth didn't know what he had been expecting of this evening, but this wasn't it. Seeing her dancing, he could hardly recognize her. He could hardly believe it was the same person. The way she moved… Even someone as asexual as him could see that her every move screamed sex. He felt a little uncomfortable just watching from over here.

"Looks like someone has done this before", Genesis sneered.

"That's not something you learn by watching", Angeal agreed thoughtfully.

And it was true. Her every move was deliberate and unhesitant. Every move was designed to entice. And it sure did, he noted, as he watched her switch dancing partners for the fourth time in the span of fifteen minutes. Zach, he had seen retreat toward the bar.

"She's hunting", Angeal said, tone one of realization.

"Hunting for what?" Sephiroth asked despite himself.

"For a good fuck, isn't that obvious?" Genesis huffed. "She's browsing through them like wares at a store, and as soon as she's found her favorite, she's going to drag him off for a quick screw."

"Genesis", Angeal said, warningly. "Have a little respect."

"For the little slut?" Genesis laughed derisively. "Surely, you're kidding?"

Sephiroth decided he needed a drink. Not that it would do him any good, but at least the act of fetching one would get him away from the table and the speculations he did not need to hear. Somehow the thought of Valkyria running off to have sex with some perfect stranger didn't sit right with him. Logically, he thought it really was no business of his what she did, as long as it caused no one harm. But the thought unsettled him.

He only realized his error when he was fully surrounded.

O O O

'Perhaps this is the one', I mused, enjoying steady hands on my hips, a warm breath on the skin of my neck as the man nuzzled the skin under my ear sending delicious shivers down my spine.

I was just starting to ponder whether the toilets in this place would suffice for some quick release when I felt a sensation akin to the soundwave of a church bell echoing in my bones. My head immediately snapped to the side, eyes honing to the silver-haired head I could see by the bar. I was barely conscious of my hands pushing away the man I had had high hopes for, disregarding him with even less gentleness than all the ones I had found lacking. My legs adopted a quick stride as I weaved through the throngs of people with little trouble. In less than fifteen seconds I was right by the people surrounding him, and with a merciless yank at an unfortunate one's glossy hair, I parted the crowd enough to place myself between the hyenas with painted faces and their prey.

"Valkyria", his voice said from behind me. I could hear surprise and relief in it. When I shifted my weight, I felt his hand come to grasp on my waist haltingly, in a way I interpreted as 'afraid I'm leaving him to fend for himself'. Or as using me as a meat-shield.

I wasn't the only one to notice the hand on me, though I was sure it looked quite different to these hyenas – women – watching us. Judging by the anger and jealousy on their faces, to them, the gesture looked possessive, perhaps even affectionate.

"Alright, ladies", I started, tone less than friendly, quickly starting to mold a small part of my reserves into ice-natured energy, "As irresistible as the General is, he's not looking for company tonight, so piss off."

One of the more uppity ones sneered at me, "Who are you to tell us - ?"

I gave her a smile that was nothing less than malicious and lifted my hands up loosely while shaping jagged claws of ice from my fingertips. "Do you really want to test me, bitch?" I asked, pointing a several inches long claw at her.

You would not believe the speed they all backed away. I was actually a little disappointed by the lack of a fight in them. I huffed and clacked the ice-claws together, letting them fall into pieces, shattering into tiny shards as they hit the floor.

"Thank you", Sephiroth said, his hand dropping from my waist. I turned and found he looked just as relieved as he sounded.

Suddenly I knew why he had been so reticent about coming here. Still, I asked: "Is that why you didn't want to come?" He nodded. "It doesn't take much to scare them off. You could have done it yourself", I pointed out.

He shook his head slightly. "Not without the risk of hurting one of them."

"If that is what it takes for them to take a hint…" I said.

"I have explicitly been forbidden from touching a civilian", he said. "It would be a PR nightmare should it get around that I had injured one of them."

Now that he pointed it out, I could see how that could be a problem. Sephiroth was the face of the SOLDIER program. News of him harming someone that wasn't the enemy would cause a massive backlash on the whole of Shinra, the SOLDIERs especially.

I pressed a comforting hand on his chest, immediately realizing my mistake when the feel of him damn near overwhelmed him. But I pushed the need down and gave him as steady a smile as I was able and said: "Then it's a good thing I'm here to guard your virtue, isn't it?"

He nodded. There was a moment of comfortable silence, and then he asked: "Are you ready to leave?"

My eyes were drawn to the dancefloor longingly, the fire burning in my veins screaming 'No!' but what came out was a defeated sigh and "Yes."

Just as I was about to take my hand off of him, his hand settled over mine to hold it in place. There was a searching look in his eyes when he hesitantly suggested: "We can come again some other time."

His eyes followed me as I leant forward and pressed a kiss to his cheek and then smiled brightly at him. "Yes, we can", I agreed. I slid my hand to the crook of his arm and gave him a little tug. "Now how about you, kind sir, escort me on a little late evening stroll. I've been dying to have a look around the plate since I first looked down from the window at the office."

In the end, when the clock chimed midnight and the magic cast by the fairy godmother unraveled, I couldn't help but consider the night a success, despite the lack of certain kind of action.

The night had been magical.

O O O

He knew he was practically gaping at her, but how could he not? He could see her brow starting to twitch and even he with his near non-existent social skills could see that he was only adding to her bad mood. She was practically bristling as she growled: "What!?"

She looked ruffled.

Her hair was a mess of tangles and stray twigs and leaves. Her clothes were covered in dust.

He had never seen her look anything but the same - down to every little detail. Even after their outing a couple of days previously she had looked untouched by it all.

What exactly had she been doing with SOLDIER Fair for the past few hours? It was hardly the first time she had met with the boy for training but she had never come out of it looking like this. She looked ready to combust, but he couldn't help but carefully say: "Dare I ask what happened?"

"Bahamut hates me", she snapped.

He blinked, confused. "I'm sorry?" He had witnessed Genesis summoning Bahamut, several different ones and several times too, and he had never seen them show any emotion. They did exactly what Genesis bid them to and that was all. In fact, Valkyria was the only summon he had ever seen or even heard of showing any kind of emotion or intellect.

"It tried to claw my eyes out!" Valkyria snarled. "Have you seen those claws!?" She threw herself to the visitor's chair and glared at him. He was pretty sure though, that it wasn't him she was angry at. "If it turns out all the other summons hate my guts as well, I'm reserving the right to drink myself into unconsciousness, alright?"

"Have you any reason to suspect that other summons might be the same as that Bahamut?" Sephiroth slowly asked.

"Well it wasn't like the Bahamut needed any reason to try and gut me, did it?" She huffed. "Clearly there's something about me that it found deeply offensive."

He nodded, and then suggested: "We could ask Genesis to lend us a summon to test your theory with." He was sure Genesis wouldn't mind. After all, he had agreed to lend his Bahamut to SOLDIER Fair for training purposes. Then again, perhaps he should ask Angeal to work as a middle man. Genesis was much less likely to deny any request from him than from anyone else.

Valkyria gave him a mutinous look, "I'd rather just stay away from them altogether, thanks."

He shot a raised eyebrow at her. "That might not always be possible."

"Then I'll whoop their asses if it comes down to it", she hissed at him before stomping out of his office and closing the door behind her with a little more force than absolutely necessary, leaving him staring at the door and wondering why exactly she had come in to his office to begin with.

O O O

The thing was, it had been tickling my senses since the very first time I had met him. I had still been new to this world though, and so I hadn't put much value on the little observation. For all I knew, it could have been perfectly normal.

Now though… I had met more people, gotten used to this world and the way things were supposed to feel. And he didn't feel right. In fact, he had slowly begun feeling less and less right. So, there was only one conclusion to be made…

Something was very wrong with Genesis Rhapsodos.

There was no love lost between me and him, so I knew asking him would give me no answers. That is why I took the less direct road and asked my summoner instead.

"Is there something wrong with Rhapsodos?" I asked him as I dropped off another pile of sorted paperwork to his desk.

His cat-like eyes turned to look at me, expressionless as ever. After a brief pause, he asked: "Why do you ask?"

"He doesn't feel right", I said as I gingerly seated myself on the edge of his desk, careful not to disturb any of the neat piles of paper waiting to be processed. It was hard to find the words to explain the feeling I got from him. What I eventually settle for, was: "He feels like he's dying."

I could read alarm in the way his eyes widened minutely and only briefly. Then there was realization and resignation. "There was an incident a few weeks ago, not long before you came to work with me." Work with him, I loved the way he worded it. It showed just how little he considered me his possession. "Genesis, Angeal and I were training in the VR room when he got injured. There were issues with the way the wound was healing." He paused, and then added: "I didn't know it was still an issue, but I can think of nothing else."

From what I had seen in the past weeks, the way SOLDIERs could shrug off injuries was incredible. The higher ranked the SOLDIER - and consequently, with higher concentration Mako injections – the quicker they healed. For someone like Rhapsodos, a flesh wound, no matter how severe, should be fully healed in mere hours.

"When you say he 'feels' like he's dying… What do you mean?" The General asked.

I fought down the need to cringe.

The truth was, I had always been able to sort of… feel people. And animals. And plants. Basically, anything alive. Even before I had ended up here and becoming a summon, I had been able to sense 'life'. Granted, it had become easier since I had ended up here, but it was something I had always been able to do. Something I had always done, subconsciously, whether I wanted to or not.

I had never told anyone. Well… I had blabbed about it when I was still too young to realize it wasn't normal, but as soon as I had been old enough to understand how unusual it was and how it would make me stand out – and not necessarily in a positive way – I had steadfastly stuck to keeping the little piece of information to myself.

And now I facing a situation in which I needed to tell someone about the whole thing and I was finding it hard to put it into words. A large part of me vehemently insisted it shouldn't be put into words.

But this was Sephiroth asking. I wasn't sure I could refuse him any answer when he looked at me like that, like he had every faith in me, like he was putting his full trust in me and that it had never even occurred to him that I might not be worth trusting. How could he look at me like that, especially when our relationship had been so tense lately?

Hesitantly, I admitted: "I can feel the life in everything that is alive. It's easier to feel in people and even easier when I've been drinking." Something about alcohol had always had that effect on me. It was probably the biggest reason why I so enjoyed bar hopping. A few drinks in me, people all around me… It was a heady combination. Add to that the way people seemed to practically emit 'life' while they were letting loose, like when they were dancing... It was my favorite drug. "You SOLDIERs are especially loud to my senses. The sheer amount of 'life' in you is just indescribable. It must be the Mako they inject you with. Rhapsodos though… The 'life' in him feels like it's tainted and it's only getting worse."

He nodded, and he must have had question – how could he not? – but he didn't ask. Instead, he said: "Genesis visited Doctor Hollander – his physician in charge – back when he got hurt. I had thought they had found a solution of some kind."

"Clearly not", I grimly replied.

There was a moment of silence as he digested all that I had told him, a silence I was in no hurry to break. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end.

He asked me: "Have you felt anything similar from any of the other SOLDIERs?"

I didn't like where this was going. Frowning, I asked: "You think it might be something that's caused by the SOLDIER enhancements?"

"Genesis is one of the people who has been receiving Mako injections the longest. The only ones to have received Mako longer than him are perhaps Angeal and I. The doses he is given are also considerably higher than those given to most. It would not be unreasonable to assume he would be one of the first to show adverse effects to long term exposure."

"And when you say 'one of the first'… You're thinking you and Angeal might not be far behind", I interpreted. I didn't like what I was hearing. I really didn't. The General was mine. He wasn't allowed to die.

I resolutely refused to think about what I remembered of his fate in the game in my old world. That wasn't allowed to happen either.

With how much time I had spent around the General, I had become quite familiar with the way he felt, how his 'life' felt. In general, I couldn't tell one person apart from another, no matter how much time I spent around them. In fact, in my old life my mother had been the sole exception to the rule, the one person I could point out in a crowd, everyone else just a mass of the one and the same. Here, SOLDIERs were easy to tell apart from the unenhanced, and the three SOLDIER 1sts easy enough to pinpoint when I was close enough. The General I had learned to feel from several dozen feet away when I was paying attention, not that I had much need for the little ability when I could feel my summon materia from no matter how far.

Now, though, when faced with the possibility that whatever was ailing Rhapsodos might be happening to my summoner as well… I found my worry trumped my confidence in how well I knew the feeling of the General's 'life'. So, I pressed my hand against the bare skin right below his collar bone and closed my eyes. For a moment, I let myself enjoy the trust he was showing me as he let me touch him – didn't question me! – and then I pushed the thought away and focused only on the feeling of the 'life' coursing through him.

The sheer amount of it was staggering. Obviously, I had known it already, but sinking into the feeling like this made it impossible to ignore how he was filled to the brim with the stuff. How one man could have so much of 'life' in him was hard to believe. Just touching him like this was making me feel lightheaded. Having sex with someone like him might just kill me. It would be totally worth it, though.

Again, I tried to steer my focus back on the matter at hand, to what I was trying to accomplish, to ascertain. But no matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find the same kind of… deterioration in him that was so obvious in Rhapsodos.

There was something else though. Something… Alien.

My eyes snapped open and I found him looking at me intently. I knew he could see the alarm so very clear on my face.

I knew that what I had felt was the Jenova in him and I knew that now that I had isolated the feeling, I would find the same thing in Hewley and Rhapsodos. I had already known that it would be Jenova – or at least the knowledge of Jenova – that would drive Sephiroth off the rail at some point in time. As it was now though, I couldn't feel any of the Jenova in him doing him any damage.

I was pretty sure it was reason behind Rhapsodos' illness though.

But I didn't dare to tell him. I didn't. Not when I had no proof to offer to him, when I had no guarantee that he would let me stay with him if he went over the edge… When I had no way to destroy Jenova.

For the first time since coming here I felt utterly helpless.

It wasn't a nice feeling.

I couldn't risk being the reason he set down a path of potential world destruction.

So instead of telling him everything I knew, all I told him was: "You feel perfectly healthy, at least for the moment."

He stared at me silently for a moment, and then said: "But you found something worrying." When I moved to pull my hand back, his long fingers wrapped around my wrist, holding me still. His hold was unyielding like steel, but he was putting barely any pressure on my skin. I idly marveled the control he had over his strength. "Tell me", he stonily demanded.

Hesitantly, I cupped his face with my free hand, brushed the smooth skin of his cheek with my thumb, and told him: "Your wellbeing is important to me, you know. If, for even a moment, I thought there wouldn't be more harm than good in telling you what I know, I would. I would."

"And were I to insist regardless?" He smoothly asked.

"I am sorry, Sephiroth", I softly told him. "But I would still refuse." I paused, and then, as I let my hand drop, I added: "There will come a time when I will be able to tell you everything."

Releasing his hold on my wrist, he averted his eyes, his displeasure obvious in both his face and voice as he, with uncharacteristic sarcasm, said: "Are you claiming to be able to divine the future as well?"

I huffed a sad little laugh. "Thankfully not. Just making an educated guess based on knowledge most aren't privy to."

That seemed to catch his attention, because his eyes honed back on me, strangely intent. He said: "You knew how to dance, like you had done it before. You seem to know how to do a lot of things you shouldn't have any practical knowledge about, from the best way to organize papers to how best deal with people." When I failed to offer him the explanation he was fishing for, he continued: "Professor Hojo says he created you, but that's not entirely accurate, is it?"

I had wondered how long it would take before he started pressing me for answers on my past. This was both sooner and later than I had expected. I had known it was coming and this was a line of questioning I had no real problem with. I admitted: "The Professor does seem to believe that he somehow created my entire being, but that isn't entirely accurate. I had a life before this. A life that ended in a rather early death." I gestured to myself, "This is how I looked at the time of my death. The reason I look human is because I was human."

I couldn't help but narrow my eyes curiously at him when I noticed him shift just slightly in what I read as discomfort. My interpretation was confirmed when he said: "If there is family you would like to visit, people you would like to return to…"

Smiling fondly at him, I began: "General – ", only to be cut off.

"If you are being kept here against your will – "

"Sephiroth", I stressed the name, which had the desired effect of getting him to listen to me, "I have no family to return to, and even if I had, there would be no way for me to return to them. I'm not from this world."

Silence, and then he repeated: "Not from this world." I nodded and incredulously he asked: "How can one not be from this world?"

"Obviously, there is more than one world. Because I wasn't born in this one." When the disbelief in his eyes didn't show any signs of dissipating, I defensively told him: "Hey, I didn't think there were other worlds either until I ended up in another one." No reaction, so I continued: "You know what, you don't need to believe me. Doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things, does it? All that matters is how things are now, and it's like this: I am a summon and I have no one waiting for me." I pushed off the desk and moved to leave, "I am content staying here, that's all you – ", his hand wrapped around my arm, stopping me from leaving.

When I turned to look at him, his eyes were cast down toward the document he had been reading before I had interrupted him. "The past… Your past, it does matter", he said. Then he released me.

For a moment, I stared at him. Those words, they felt so heavy with meaning, with something that I was missing. Something he wasn't saying. I wanted to ask, but I could see from the way he no longer looked at me that he had no desire to continue the discussion.

I turned and returned to my desk in the outer office feeling strangely drained.

Posted on January 13th, 2017.