Letters from a Lost Love
Chapter 5: Tell Me the Truth About Love
The next morning…
Mount Sinai Hospital
"Michael, sit down and relax, you're wearing a hole in the floor."
Michael glared at his sister.
"My wife had a mental breakdown last night and you want me to relax?"
"I'm just saying…"
Anna touched Connie's arm.
"Let him be."
Connie gave Anna an incredulous look.
"How are you so calm about this?"
"Because Ariella's one of the strongest people I know. She'll be fine."
Connie sighed.
"If you say so. I'm going to get some fresh air."
Once she was gone, Michael turned to Anna.
"Tell me the truth: is Ariella really going to be fine?"
Anna nodded. "Yes, she is. She's been through more in forty years than most people experience in eighty. She's a fighter."
A faint smile crossed his face. "I know."
Anna patted the seat next to her. "Come here and sit next to me."
Michael looked like he was about to argue, but Anna shook her head.
"Not now. I don't think either of us have the energy to do that right now."
He stared at her for a few moments, then did as she asked.
Anna noticed his hands gripping the chair tightly, his posture rigid, his eyes burning with intensity like he was forcing himself not to cry.
"Tell me what happened. Why did my sister start screaming?"
Michael didn't look at her as he answered, "She was terrified of me."
That didn't make sense. Ariella had never truly been afraid of Michael, at least, not in that way.
At Anna's look of confusion, Michael elaborated.
"Not me, exactly, but…what I represented."
"What are you talking about?"
"She didn't tell you?"
"Tell me what?"
"That she was raped."
Anna stared at him in shock.
"Ariella was raped? When? How? Why?"
"From the age of ten until she was thirteen. By some of my father's clients, and other men your mother knew."
"Why did she never tell me?!"
"I don't know. You'll have to ask her yourself."
"She told you and not me. Great."
"To be fair, she only told me weeks ago."
"But she told you first."
"Anna, now is not the time to be jealous."
"I have a right to be jealous and you damn well know it!" she snapped.
"Anna!"
"Don't even think about it, Michael. I'm her sister, the least she could have done was trust me."
"Well, it's not like you can go back in time, now, can you?" he retorted.
"Why are you taking her side?"
"Someone has to," Michael remarked pointedly.
"So you agree that she should be keeping secrets from me."
"That's not what I'm saying."
"I beg to differ."
"Stop it. Stop twisting everything to make yourself feel better."
"Why should I? You do it all the time!" Anna flared.
Connie, who had come back inside, heard that last comment.
"That is enough. Anna, I think it's time for you to get some fresh air too."
Anna stood up quickly.
"If my sister wakes up, tell her I hope she gets better soon. I have things to do."
She left, her heels clacking on the hardwood floor.
Connie put her bag on the chair Anna had just vacated and knelt in front of Michael.
"Are you all right?"
Her brother nodded.
"I'm fine, Connie."
"What happened?"
"Anna's angry because Ariella didn't tell her she was raped."
"Ariella was raped?"
"Yes. Repeatedly. It happened when she was ten."
"Poor Ariella. Why didn't she tell her sister?"
"It could be any number of reasons. Maybe the men threatened her, maybe Ariella didn't trust Anna enough. After all, Anna was her mother's daughter through and through. Maybe Ariella was jealous that she had to work so hard for her mother's attention, while Anna had it handed to her."
The minute he said that, Michael had an epiphany.
Oh God. That's why Fredo tried to kill me. He told me but I completely disregarded him because I was so angry. All he wanted was to be respected, but anyone could see that he would have gotten the whole family killed. He was trying to prove that he was just as worthy of being called a Corleone as me or Sonny. And I killed him for it.
Michael stared at his sister pensively.
No, he couldn't. He couldn't tell Connie what he'd done, she'd hate him forever.
Fredo, if you're listening…I am so, so, sorry.
"Michael? Is there something wrong?" Connie asked gently.
"No," he replied.
He reached out to stroke her face, and she leaned into his touch.
"You know I love you, right?" he asked, so softly she could barely hear him.
"I know."
"I'm sorry I didn't do more to protect you from Carlo. And I'm sorry I've been so harsh with you."
"No, don't be. You forced me to take a good look at where my life was heading. I'm grateful to you for that."
She squeezed his hand in reassurance.
"I love you, Michael. Regardless of what you've done, I forgive you and I love you."
She reached up and kissed his cheek.
"You'll always have me."
"Thank you, Connie."
"You're welcome. I should get up, this floor is wreaking havoc on my knees."
She sat next to him, a comfortable silence settling between them.
A few minutes later, the doctor walked in.
"Ariella's awake now."
The two siblings got up and went to see her.
When Ariella saw them, she smiled.
"Well, you're a sight for sore eyes."
"How are you feeling?" Michael asked her softly.
"Better than last night, I can tell you that much. Did the doctors tell you anything?"
"They wanted to put you in the psych ward, but Anna and I told them not to. I told them we would handle it."
"Thank you. I don't do well in enclosed spaces."
"I know."
Connie helped Ariella sit up.
"Do you need anything?"
"No, I'm fine. Speaking of my sister, where is she?"
Connie and Michael glanced at each other, then back at Ariella.
"She said she had things to do," Connie answered finally.
Ariella raised an eyebrow.
"Things that were more important than making sure her sister was okay?"
"She's upset because you didn't tell her you were raped."
Ariella shook her head. The expression on her face was one Connie knew very well, she'd seen it in Michael's eyes often enough.
"I don't have to explain anything to her."
"Why not?"
"Because she wouldn't be able to handle it. She's had a relatively easy life: our mother didn't target her the way she targeted me. Anna doesn't know what it's like to have to fight for everything. She's never been hurt by anyone, and it's made her complacent."
"But she's still your sister."
"What does that have to do with anything? Why should I tell her anything when she lived her life oblivious to the dangers in the world? Who am I to take those rose-colored glasses off?"
Connie was shocked at Ariella's coldness. She'd never experienced it before.
Now I see why Michael recruited Ariella to the business.
Connie looked between her brother and Ariella.
It was like looking in a mirror.
She suddenly felt she needed to be anywhere else but here.
Michael touched her arm.
"Come with me."
They excused themselves, then walked outside, a few paces from the room.
"Don't be frightened," Michael told her. "That's just how Ariella is."
"Are you sure you made the right decision in marrying her?"
Her brother didn't hesitate. "Yes. Trust me, she's nothing like Kay."
"No, you're right. She's worse."
Connie nearly shrank from the fury in Michael's eyes.
"Never say that again, Connie. Ariella would never have done what Kay did. Ariella has a heart. Kay doesn't."
Damn. Connie made a mental note never to piss her brother off again.
"I'm sorry, truly."
"Mean it and I'll believe you."
"Michael, please…"
He suddenly pulled her to him, his eyes darkening until they were almost opaque.
She struggled against him, but he held her tightly.
"Don't fight me. I just want an apology. A real apology."
"What do you want me to say?"
"The truth. After everything Ariella has done for you…she deserves better than your slander."
"You're right. I shouldn't have said what I did. I was just afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"Afraid of her…and you. The two of you are so similar, it's like you're one person. I never noticed it before."
Michael touched the side of his sister's neck, feeling her pulse throb erratically against his hand.
"Relax," he ordered. "I'm not going to hurt you."
"Can you let me go first?"
"No. You need to trust me."
Connie forced herself to calm down.
Michael stepped away from her, his eyes returning to their normal shade of brown.
"Good."
Connie shivered. She knew her brother was power-hungry, but she hadn't been at his mercy like this before. It was frightening…and oddly exciting.
Suddenly she could see why Ariella seemed to crave it so much.
When you've never had power before, it's easy to lose control when you finally get it.
Not that Connie ever wanted to be dominated by her brother, or anyone, not ever again, but for a minute, it was like she could feel what Michael was feeling. That need for control…she could understand how it could be seductive. She'd promised herself, after Carlo, that she would make all the decisions from now on. Ariella was just trying to protect herself from being hurt again. And Michael…he had been hurt by people too many times to trust anyone completely.
Connie looked into her brother's eyes, and he could see that she understood.
"I'm sorry, Michael. Ariella has always been there for us. I won't forget that again, I promise."
He nodded, and they went back inside to talk to Ariella.
Michael sat next to his wife, holding her hand in his and gazing into her eyes.
Connie stood against the wall, watching the two of them interact.
She had never seen her brother look at Kay like that. Not ever.
It was almost like he was in love with her.
The question was, did he know it himself?
Connie knew her brother better than anyone. He had always been hard to read, but he let his guard down a little when he was with her. Even when he was angry, Connie had no doubt that he would have done anything for her.
She'd forgiven him for killing Carlo long ago, realizing her brother was only looking out for her. It was time to return the favor.
Ariella said something to Michael, and he smiled, kissing her softly.
Connie felt like she was intruding.
Just as she was about to give them some privacy, the doctor walked in.
"I hope I'm not interrupting."
Michael stood up, making room for him.
"Not at all."
"I just came to check on Ariella."
Ariella smiled. "Thank you, Dr. Johnson. I'm fine."
"Glad to hear it. Well, your vitals look good, everything seems to be in order. I think you just need to relax. I'm sending you home as soon as I can. But I think you should definitely speak with a therapist."
Michael intervened. "I'll make sure she does. Is there anything else?"
"No, just some paperwork that needs to be filled out. Let me disconnect these tubes."
Once that was done, Michael helped Ariella out of bed and they went downstairs.
An hour later, they were home.
Neri greeted them at the door.
"It's good to have you home again, Ariella."
"It's good to be home," she replied.
Connie said, "I'll see you both later. I'm going to take a nap."
Once she was gone, Michael turned to his wife.
"Are you hungry? Do you need anything?"
"No, I'm okay. I had breakfast before the doctor called you in."
"All right."
"What about you?"
"I'm fine. Let's go upstairs."
When they were finally alone, Michael shut the door.
Ariella sighed, looking at herself in the mirror.
"I look like a bird decided to make my hair its permanent home."
No, Michael thought. You look stunning.
He wanted to bury his face in her hair, feel her against him, worship every inch of her skin. She was his, and he was hers.
The thought made him shiver with longing.
He wanted to possess her, but he also wanted, possibly for the first time in his life, for her to possess him.
He met her eyes in the mirror, his fingers trailing up her arm.
"Ariella?"
"Hmm?"
"Kiss me."
She gave him a sultry smile.
"Is that an order?"
"No. I know you've always felt like you have no control over your life, and I never want you to feel that way ever again if I can help it."
"That's incredibly thoughtful of you. Thank you, Michael."
Even the way she said his name sent a wave of desire through him.
He closed his eyes, trying to control himself.
"Are you all right?"
His eyes snapped open, and Ariella stepped back.
"Did I scare you?" he asked quickly.
She shook her head.
"No. I just…I've never seen anyone look at me like that before."
"Like what?"
"Like I'm all they want."
"You are all I want, Ariella. I love you."
"What?" she asked in disbelief.
"I love you," he repeated.
"I thought…are you sure?"
"I'm sure."
"It's just…I thought it would take longer. You said…"
"And I meant it…at the time. But these past few weeks with you have been amazing. I mean that. You've always been in my corner, always supportive, never condemning me. I couldn't have asked for a better life partner. My life hasn't been easy, you know that better than anyone, but every time I turned around, you were there, just there to listen or offer advice. I'll always need you in my life, and I'm honored to be yours."
Ariella was speechless.
"I…if you said all this to make me swoon, you're doing a great job," she said finally.
"I'll catch you, don't worry," Michael responded, his dark eyes twinkling.
Oh god, does he know how sexy he looks right now?
Michael was thinking the same thing about her.
Ariella reached up to brush a strand of hair from his face, and he stood completely still, not even daring to breathe.
A faint blush crept up his cheeks.
Ariella cupped his face in her hands and kissed him gently.
Just that simple act sent his head spinning.
He pulled away to gaze at her.
She was so beautiful, it made him ache.
He'd never felt like this with Kay. Not one day in their marriage. But then, Kay had never truly cared for him the way he thought she had.
"Ariella, I need to tell you something."
"Go ahead."
They sat on the edge of the bed, Michael steadying her to make sure she didn't fall.
"After Apollonia died, I closed myself off completely. You know that."
Ariella nodded. "I know. The only reason you married Kay is because you wanted a son."
"Exactly. I respected you far too much to ask you to be a substitute for the woman who had my heart."
"I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing?"
"You must have thought I was crazy when I came to you, then. I insulted you and I'm sorry. I just wanted you to be happy, and I thought, even if you never grew to love me, at least you would have someone who cared for you."
"You didn't insult me. I was touched. But I'm afraid I wouldn't have been a very good husband to you if things had stayed the way they were. I might have taken advantage of your kindness, and the last thing I ever want to do is to hurt you."
"Thank you for your honesty."
"I will do my best never to lie to you. I just wanted to tell you…you woke me up. Not just physically, emotionally as well. These past few weeks, all I could think about was you. I want to make you happy in any way I can. That's why I'm going to let you take charge now."
"What?"
"I know you have this need for power, as I do, and I know you've never had the chance to truly exercise it, so I'm going to let you do whatever you want with me."
"I'm flattered, but doesn't that go against your nature?"
"I don't mind bending the rules."
"Or breaking them."
Ariella stopped, sure she was in for it now.
Michael laughed.
"Or breaking them. You know me too well."
"I love hearing you laugh."
"I know. So, what do you want me to do?"
"I want you to dominate me," Ariella replied, her eyes darkening with desire.
Her voice and the look in her eyes were doing strange, beautiful things to him.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I can wait. I've spent a lifetime dreaming about having you. A few more hours won't hurt. Besides, I've always wondered what it would be like to be completely under your control."
"Well, now you get to find out. But I promise to be gentle. If you need me to stop, just tell me, okay?"
"I will."
Michael figured it was best to just follow his instincts.
He kissed her, his hands twisting in her hair. His hands trailed down to her waist, squeezing it gently.
She moaned and pressed herself against him.
He pulled her into his lap, unable to stop himself from inhaling her scent.
Her fingers grasped at his jacket, and he stopped her with a look.
"Not yet, my love."
He leaned forward, ripping her dress off with his teeth.
She shifted in his lap, and he rocked against her.
"Suck on my neck," he ordered, his eyes darkening.
She obeyed, her fingers dancing over his ribs.
He turned his head to give her better access.
When he was satisfied, he lifted her up, pressing her into the bed.
"Not a sound."
She nodded.
He took his time with her, enjoying the way her muscles rippled beneath his touch.
He kissed her all over her body, leaving love bites everywhere.
"Now everyone will know exactly who you belong to," he growled.
He touched her center, and she jumped, but kept quiet.
"Good girl."
He removed her underwear, slowly moving his fingers in and out of her.
She shook with need.
"Stop. I'm not finished with you yet. Take off your bra."
She did, and he immediately latched onto her breasts, swirling his tongue around one and then the other in a way that made Ariella nearly lose her mind.
She gripped his hair in her hand, and he looked up at her.
"Am I hurting you?"
"No."
"Then let go of my hair and learn to control yourself."
Ariella dropped her hand as if she had been burned by hot coals.
Michael straddled her, his eyes burning into hers.
"Undress me slowly."
Ariella took off his jacket, tie, and shirt, and was reaching for his belt buckle when he stopped her.
He pressed his chest against hers, kissing her roughly.
Then he ground his hips against hers, loving the way she squirmed beneath him.
He took her hand, moving it downward.
"Now you may continue."
Ariella did as instructed, her fingers brushing against his length, eliciting a groan from him, which she adored.
He wasted no time in moving inside her, thrusting slowly at first, then harder and faster once he'd established a rhythm.
They came together, Michael gripping her arms tightly to keep her from waking Connie.
He collapsed next to Ariella, his fingers entwined in hers.
"That was amazing. Was it as good for you?"
She nodded, her eyes bright with happiness.
"I've never felt so alive."
"Did I hurt you or make you feel uncomfortable?"
"No, not at all. You made me feel special. Loved."
"I'm glad," he replied, kissing her softly.
She laid her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, so strong and firm.
He looked down at her, a smile crossing his face.
He'd never expected to be in love with her, but now that he was, he couldn't think of anything better.
She made him feel safe, like he could trust her with absolutely anything.
He only hoped in time, she would come to trust him the same way.