Hi there. Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter, I love reading all of them! New chapter coming up for you, I hope you'll like it. This is the last one before the birth! I don't know yet when I'll be able to post the next one, but it might be a little delayed, so don't worry if you don't have the new chapter by next week. Please, review this one, tell me what you thought about it! See you soon!

CHAPTER 12 - Heart and Mind

"Emily kissed me…" Aaron suddenly said blankly.

"What, when?" Seth exclaimed, surprised.

"A few days ago…"

Both staffers were sitting at a bar one evening, drinking a well-deserved glass of scotch after a tough day at work. They were both exhausted and were craving a good night sleep, but they also needed to wind down. Truth was, the past four days had been complicated for Aaron. He had not stopped thinking about that kiss he had shared with Emily, and what it meant for both of them. Apart from Nadia, he had not told anyone, and he suddenly felt the need to talk about it. He had not crossed path with her since then, but he knew he would tomorrow. She had texted him in the afternoon, and he knew that she had been cleared to go back to work.

"How did that happen?" Seth asked.

"Do you want the short of the long version?" Aaron offered.

"Short, please. It's already hard enough to follow everything between the two of you…"

"I was taking her home after she ate at my place, and she just kissed me as I was walking her up the stairs…" Aaron explained.

"Oh… I see. Is this going to make your lives more miserable? Or…"

Seth was a little confused. As often in the past few months, he didn't really know what to say or what to do when one of his two friends was talking about the other one. It was hard for him to be in the middle, in between Aaron and Emily and having to juggle between them all the time. In a way, knowing that they had kissed was making him happy, because it meant that there was still hope for a happy ending, but Aaron's tone of voice was making him wonder if he wasn't just a little too optimistic.

"I pushed her back…" Aaron continued, defeated.

"Oh… That doesn't sound good to me. But at least you stay true to your words, you really don't want to be with her for now." Seth said.

"Yeah, but I don't know anymore. I'm just completely lost. I feel like my life has become a freaking mess since I learned I'm going to be a father." Aaron admitted.

"Anybody's life would be a mess after such an announcement." Seth commented.

"True… But…"

Aaron didn't finish his sentence. He drank the rest of his scotch in one go and asked for another one. He didn't know what he wanted to say, what he was feeling or what he should do. Knowing that she was back at work was conflicting him even more. Would things be okay, working together everyday?

"Hey, man… It's normal to be conflicted. I can see that you still love her." Seth reassured his friend.

"Do I, though?"

"Yes you do, it's crystal clear that you do. But take your time, you don't have to jump in each other's arms just yet."

"Yeah…"

"Try to slowly rebuild your trust in each other. Take your time. And you'll see how everything goes when the baby comes, later on the road."

"That's what I told her, that I wanted us to focus on the baby for now, but it's just… I don't know, it's awkward. We want to be together, but we both know that we shouldn't do it…"

"You really need to talk about it, it's going to be a mess again if you don't…"

Aaron nodded. He knew that Seth was right, and he knew that his mind was telling him not to go down this road either. But it was like his heart was pushing him closer to Emily with every day going by. Lost in his mind, all he could feel was the alcohol burning down his throat after a long day at work. At least, maybe his days would be less busy with Emily coming back, even though he knew that he would spend most of his time worrying about her doing too much. He had even plotted with Phil to make sure she would be relieved of most of the workload, and especially stressful situations like the ones in commands op. But still, he knew it would be hard for her to stay out of these situations. Emily was always jumping on things, ready to fight the next fire even before it had started. She was too stubborn for her own good, and it was worrying many persons around her, and especially her best friend.

"Are you going to take it slow?" Gemma asked Emily at home on that night.

"Yes Mom…" Emily answered, grumbling and rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious Em. You have to. You still have a month to go before giving birth. Everything looks good but you can't keep playing with fire like you do."

"Gem, I know. I'm going to take it slow… Aaron already told me he would prevent me from going down to the commands op…"

"Well, I definitely agree with him on that!" Gemma said. "You see, we can agree on certain things…"

"Yeah, you can agree to make my life more miserable…" Emily grumbled.

Gemma frowned, surprised with her best friend's comment.

"Did something happen between the two of you?" Gemma asked, curious.

"No, nothing…" Emily said, brushing things off.

Emily had not told Gemma about the kiss. She didn't want to, she knew Gemma would disapprove. But in the meantime, she couldn't help but feel the need to talk about it to someone. She had not stopped thinking about it since it had happened a few days ago, and knowing that they would see each other in just a few hours was stressing her out.

"Em…" Gemma scolded.

"Okay, fine. I kissed him the other night. And he pushed me back." Emily finally said.

"You what?" Gemma suddenly exclaimed.

"You heard me. Please, don't scream, I know it was stupid…"

"For sure it was stupid. Why did you do that?"

"Cause I still like him, what do you think!"

"Oh my God, you really have the annoying habit of making your life more miserable, you know that?" Gemma continued, lecturing her best friend.

"I cannot help but like him…" Emily protested. "I know it's stupid, but he didn't push me back straightaway"

"Ok… What? I'm not sure I get it. He pushed you back, but he didn't?" Gemma asked, confused.

"I kissed him. And he kissed me back. But then he just suddenly stopped and said that we shouldn't."

"Well, he's not wrong about that… Did he say something else?"

Emily sighed, remembering her conversation with Aaron.

"He told me that it's not that he didn't want to, but that we shouldn't. Not now…"

"Oh my God, the two of you are so complicated. I swear you're giving me headaches…" Gemma exclaimed, rolling her eyes.

"You're my best friend, you're supposed to support me…"

"I know. I'm sorry, but you're just really complicated to follow."

Emily suddenly burst into tears. She had not seen it coming, but she was suddenly sobbing in her best friend's arms. She was always putting her cries down to hormones, but she knew that this time, it was just because she was exhausted.

So of course, the morning after, Emily was stressing out, tapping her foot on the floor of the car on her the way to the White House. Sure, she was excited to be back to work, but she knew that she would see Aaron for the first time since they had kissed, and that it would be awkward. When she entered the West Wing, she was greeted by all her colleagues, happy to see her back to work, even though everybody secretly thought she should already be on maternity leave. And from afar, she saw Aaron at the other end of the hallway. He smiled softly at her, but she could see that he was hesitating, and he ended up not daring to greet her in front of everybody else.

Gemma noticed too and as they were finally alone on their way to Emily's office, the Communications Director spoke up.

"You should really talk, you know…"

Emily didn't even need Gemma to pronounce his name to know what she was talking about. She knew she should talk to Aaron. Emily saw him more than once during the day, but they ended up never having time to properly talk. They were doing their best to keep things professional, but the people the closest to them could see that things were complicated again. Their moods had shifted, and apart from Gemma and Seth, nobody really knew why.

It's only two days later, in the afternoon, that they both caught a break in the meantime. They didn't even plan it, but they crossed path in the cafeteria as Emily was getting some herbal tea when she saw him walk in to get coffee.

"We should talk…" she said as she saw Aaron approaching her.

"I agree…" he answered, nodding.

Pouring coffee down in a mug, he then invited her to follow in his office. It's true, the cafeteria seemed like a safe place, neutral and around people, far from any temptation or break down. But they both knew it was a terrible idea. People were already talking about them, whispering behind their backs and they didn't really want to entertain the rumors any more. There was a silence between the two of them as they sat next to each other on the couch of his office after Aaron closed the door. They both drank their beverages in silence before one of them decided to speak.

"We can't keep going like that…" Aaron said.

"I know… I screwed up." Emily admitted.

"It's not what I said, Em…" Aaron retorted sadly. "I… I think we should take our time. We both know that we are attracted to each other…"

Emily nodded, chuckling. Attracted was the least they could say.

"But we need to focus on the baby." Emily continued. "I know…"

Aaron smiled softly at her. He could see that she agreed, but something was telling him she wasn't completely okay with the decision.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, shooting her a concerned look.

"It's just…" Emily started, not knowing how to say it. "Since that time you took me in your arms when I was crying, you know…" Aaron nodded, remembering their talk at her apartment a few weeks ago. "Sometimes I just miss your hugs…" Emily admitted, feeling shameful. 'And your strong arms around me, and your nice gestures, and cuddling against you…' she continued in her head.

Aaron chuckled, smiling.

"It's okay, you can ask for a hug if you want. I'm fine with it…" he said, smiling at her.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah… I just don't want to start a relationship right now, but it's okay if you want a hug sometimes. I don't mind."

"Are things going to be okay between us one day?" Emily asked, worried.

"I have faith they will." Aaron smiled.

"Can I, have a hug right now?" Emily asked, making Aaron laugh.

"Sure."

Emily closed the distance between them and put her head against his chest as Aaron wrapped his arms around her. For the first time in a while, she felt comfortable and safe. The baby kicked and she took one of his hands to put it on her belly. He smiled when he felt their baby and softly kissed Emily on the temple.

"So what, now?" Emily asked, still cuddling against Aaron's chest.

"What do you mean?"

"What are we?"

"Do we really need to put labels on what we are?" Aaron asked, not really sure what to say.

"Probably not…" Emily said. "Yeah, you're right. No labels, no relationship, and let's just see how everything goes later down the road."

They stayed silent in each other's arms for a little bit, but soon their phones started buzzing. They were both called to commands op.

"We should go…" Emily said as she pulled herself from Aaron's arms.

"Should you? I know you want to, but I really am not comfortable with you going down there right now…" Aaron admitted.

"Aaron…" Emily started.

"No, I get that you want to go… But it's always stressful and everything…" Aaron said, worried.

"Ok, I'll send Phil instead…" Emily gave in. "You'll be there to help him anyway."

Aaron smiled gently and quickly kissed her forehead before leaving his office to pick up Phil on his way to the commands op. Aaron's sweet gesture startled Emily a little and it took her a few seconds to react. She wasn't used to this, especially with Aaron. But before she could move and decide to do something, she was caught by Gemma in Aaron's office as she was walking by in the hallway.

"What are you doing in here?" the Communications Director asked, curious and surprised.

"We talked…" Emily answered.

"Oh… I see. And?"

"We'll be fine. I think we'll be fine." she said with a soft smile.

Gemma rose an eyebrow, wanting details, but Emily brushed things off. For once, she wanted to keep things for herself, and for the first time in months, she could feel that one day, things would be fine.