Greetings, everyone! This is my first ever fan fiction and I am beyond excited. This chapter is just to kind of introduce the general atmosphere of things, I didn't want to leave any characters as two-dimensional. This is Jaime fic but I think it is such a shame that Addam is a character very often ignored when he is very interesting, very capable, and has the potential to be more than just Jaime's right hand man (pun unintended). I wanted to give them both the depth they deserve, and hopefully by the next chapter I will really get the ball rolling. Please let me know what you think of this story, I would appreciate any and all feedback!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything except the OC's to be mentioned in later chapters.
Burning Bright
Jaime I
Jaime sighed heavily, just hours more and he'd be done with this last bout of travels and surprisingly sore back -that he could not complain about. Although, thinking of his destination, he could only wonder whether he was right to be relieved at the close prospect of his arrival. They were done with most of their campaigns in the Riverlands when Addam had received word from Ashemark, beseeching him to return to his family seat -apparently his father wanted to gather all his children under one roof to rebuild the thankfully minor damage done to parts of the castle after they had retaken it from retreating Stark forces.
Jaime recalled how conflicted Addam had looked once he had read the letter regardless of the control he attempted to impress on the situation, he thought to himself what it must have meant to him, and whether it felt anything at all like the letter he himself had received only a week before. He narrowed his eyes at him, almost bitter that Addam could face such difficulty in making a decision regarding his family when he had disregarded his, no matter what she was, she was his. For a moment Jaime almost even felt hatred towards his closest companion, he did not know why, but knowing Addam to be so steadfast and smart he did not think he would ever witness such a shake to his resolve -that was, not until he saw Addam reach for another, seemingly smaller letter that Jaime hadn't even noticed arrive with the other letter, enclosed with the same seal as the first. Addam's eyes widened in eagerness and Jaime knew then to leave Addam to his own devices, only for Addam to emerge from his tent but moments later announcing that he was to return to Ashemark per his father's wishes. Jaime did not know why he had offered to join him then, for it certainly surprised everyone else. Maybe he was done fighting, maybe he was tired, maybe he missed the west, maybe he was curious or perhaps he wanted to sleep in a bed that wasn't close to Cersei or one that reminded him so much of her.
Thinking of Addam and the years in which he'd known him, Jaime has realized over the course of the past weeks on their way west, that he knew very little about Addam's family except for the fact that he surely had an older sister, perhaps a younger one as well. He felt uneasy asking Addam, now that they were on their way. Jaime knew Addam and his shrewdness of the knowledge and information he wishes -or does not wish to impart, Addam most definitely must know Jaime's knowledge of his family was lacking, and since he had not taken it upon himself to inform him on any details regarding his family Jaime could only assume Addam believes it unnecessary. Just then, Jaime looked over at Addam Marbrand riding by his side, his dark copper hair matching his dark red courser, even in his greatness and intimidating stance Jaime could not miss the silent sense of unease stirring in him. He had been awfully quiet as they came closer to their destination, chalking it up to exhaustion, but Jaime believed it may have something to do with the prospects of seeing his home in a state that has been thus far vaguely described.
Jaime supposed it was lucky that Lord Marbrand had not been present during the taking of Ashemark, although it may have led to making his home more susceptible to attack, he could not help but think it would not do him kind to be taken prisoner, much less in his own home. Jaime had known Lord Damon Marbrand rather well, just as mighty and shrewd as Addam, but somehow even greater and more domineering. They had the same hair, he remembered, and Jaime wondered to himself whether the years had been good to Lord Marbrand. Jaime suddenly found it quite odd how little he knew about the Marbrands, Addam had been a page at Casterly Rock when they were both young, Addam's father a loyal bannerman to his family, and Jaime's grandmother, Jeyne Marbrand, also happened to be Addam's great-aunt. Jaime found his eyes straining at Addam's long copper hair darting around the air much like his own courser's mane and he could not help but wonder whether his siblings had his hair. He considered their families' close ties a moment, and in that moment of almost involuntary forgetfulness he thought of how his father would think a match between him and a Marbrand would be most ideal, he could almost hear his father tell him that though it would not be as advantageous as marrying into the Reach it would do very well to have a Western wife who would be well loved by her people, of a noble house with close ties and related ancestors, my own mother was a Marbrand! he could hear him say. Jaime violently shook the thought of his father away, he had not yet decided how he felt about his death, or that his death was by his own brother's hand, or whether he wanted to feel anything at all. No, Jaime Lannister did not want to think of his Tywin. All Jaime wanted now, after months of lifting sieges and tying up loose ends, the depths of Jaime's desires consisted of a comfortable bed, good wine, and perhaps a lovely steak. Yes, that was all Jaime Lannister wanted.
Addam I
He knew, surely, that Jaime must have noticed a change in him. Regardless of how ardently Addam would like to deny it, he could not help but allow his worry to seep through the cracks of his armor. Receiving the letter from his father was cause for concern, not enough to shake him, but he knew he would not be summoned as such, in a letter written with such formality and indirectness, without their being some dire need for it. Just looking at the other envelope though, Addam instantly knew who it was from. Now, riding but a few hours from Ashemark, his home, he recalled the letter's contents by way of memory,
Though father says it is time, it has nothing to do with the mere fact that I do not feel as happy without you here, I beseech you, please return to us. I fear I have such need of you that I have not even realised I needed to express until writing this, and simultaneously I can not bear to say what I feel. Some days I can hardly breathe, my darling Addam, come for us. Father needs you.
His heart had stirred at the words then with a force Addam had almost forgotten could be roused in him, he had been away for so long, and with the war it was difficult enough to hear word from his family other than the reassurance that they were alive and well. But this, this meant that his return was not only expected but required, if not for him, then for the people who were most dear and beloved.
Although Addam's worry and concern for his family had overtaken him in the past week, it still managed to shock him how Jaime had readily offered to escort and visit Ashemark with him, and despite the fact that Addam had no idea in what state Ashemark was in, or what awaited him there, he was grateful for Jaime Lannister's company -without showing him as much, not that he could. He had noticed, Jaime had definitely noticed, besides the odd jest on their rides, Jaime often left Addam alone after dinner -not even asking to spar with him in order to retrain his left hand, though after their last spar Addam doubted Jaime's unwillingness to subject himself to another session was because of Addam's own changed temperament.
Seeing as he had had so much time alone over the past few weeks, he had not even realised that he appreciated the solitude to ponder on the way things were left for him. He pondered what the sight of his own home would be like to his new eyes, what fraction of his pride would be hurt at seeing parts of it ruined, knowing it had been touched by the enemy. And although his fury bubbled slowly inside him each time he thought of the possible damage to his house seat, with it always came the uprise of sudden guilt.
No one would blame him. He knew that, no one would ever think to blame him for what had happened. He was a knight, who's house was sworn to its liege lord, and when the banner's were called, he not only answered with fervor but with...eagerness. The darkest parts of him recalled how he silently basked in his glory and the victories, the recognition, he remembered sometimes wishing the war would never end. How foolish, he thought, how utterly, selfishly and undeniably foolish could I have been? He enjoyed it, almost every moment and every feeling it roused within him, away from his family, away from the place that needed him the most. He could not even blame the northerners, it is what he would have done. But he should have been there, he should have been there to defend it. Perhaps if he was there he would not be haunted by the image of his sisters starving if they had not been whisked away to safety beforehand. That is what changed him on the journey, his worry had seeped through, but it was his guilt that he wore. It was his guilt that he carried on his back, it was his guilt that weighed heavily on his eyes and it was his guilt that caused him to fall deeper into himself with every breath he took.
He could see Ashemark now, he had almost forgotten where to look until Jaime had shouted it out to him in an almost question. They were a few miles away but he could still make out the basic structure, there it stood on the hilly terrain, still mighty, but Addam could only strangely make out that it seemed slightly darker than how he'd remembered.
"Excited yet, ser?" He heard Jaime lazily say to him, the wind carrying his voice now in a direction he could not even tell,
"In truth, I do not know." he answered with a sulky seriousness he did not even know he had about him.
"I suppose i'll have to be charming enough for the both of us" to which Addam awarded a grin,
"And what would you know of charm, Lannister?" he quipped before galloping away, leading the group, and despite his current onset of feelings, Addam Marbrand would be damned if he'd be anything but first to arrive.
For a brief moment, he reminded himself that Jaime Lannister had never been here before, and he allowed a coy smile to make its way to his features almost in defiance to the ungodly wind attacking his face. Jaime Lannister was now in his territory, Jaime Lannister would now be lost in his hallways and would have to play at being courteous to his family. For both their sakes, Addam prayed their was enough wine stocked, for they would surely need it. His heart picked up at the prospect of seeing his family, and despite their letters and reassurance he could not help but wonder whether they were all in fact as well as they claimed, guilt rousing him again and twisting in his side, you should know that yourself.
He know nothing would change until he could see it all. He could only see for himself, he had to see for himself.