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CHAPTER 14 - A sort of routine

Getting used to being parents wasn't as easy as it seemed. For Emily, the change was quite impressive: She was now stuck at home with a baby to change, feed and put to bed. Before Olivia's birth, she was sleep-deprived because of work, now she was sleep-deprived because of her daughter, and she didn't know what was the worst. Of course, she loved Olivia very much, she was her daughter, her baby girl, and she wouldn't trade this for anything in the world. Sometimes though, she was thinking about everything and wondering if things could have been different, had she been less stubborn.

Aaron's absence was really hard to handle too. It's not that he wasn't involved with Emily and Olivia, not at all. But work was taking so much of his time that he couldn't take care of his daughter as much as he wanted. Since Emily was away from work, Aaron had officially taken over her job, making him the acting Chief of Staff. An even though Phil was helping Aaron a lot, it was very demanding to do two jobs at once. He would rarely leave work before midnight and it could take days before he was able to see Olivia and Emily. He hated that so much, it seemed very unfair to him that Olivia was growing up without him by her side, and it seemed very unfair that he wasn't there to help Emily out.

One thing that wasn't easy to handle either was Emily's relationship with Aaron. Even if a couple of months ago, it had seemed like a good idea not to put labels on what they were or were not, it was becoming harder with every day passing by to stay in this limbo. Emily knew she shouldn't and couldn't push Aaron into something he didn't want, but she was constantly wondering if one day he would come to terms with everything that had happened between them. Sometimes she wanted to talk to him, to tell him what she was feeling, but it was really hard to say those things. Gemma couldn't stop teasing her either, and it was frustrating her. Several times, Emily had denied being with Aaron, but Gemma could see the looks, the smiles and the touches. She couldn't stop asking details and be curious. All of this was making Emily very self-conscious about herself and her body. She had given birth to Olivia a month and a half ago. Of course, she had not lost all the pounds she had gained during her pregnancy, and sometimes she was wondering if she looked good, if she was as attractive as she used to be, if Aaron was still interested in her, if she would ever be seductive again.

"Hey, I managed to leave early tonight, want me to bring food over?"

-Aaron

Emily's mood lightened up instantly when she read Aaron's text. It was a Tuesday evening, and she was pacing around with Olivia in her arms, trying to make her sleep. So, when his text popped on her phone, she sighed, relieved to know that Aaron would be there soon to help her. Sitting for a second, she quickly answered Aaron with her crying daughter in her arms, and started pacing again in the room afterwards.

"Daddy will be there soon, yeah? You want to see Daddy? I know, me too…" Emily told Olivia. "Why don't you want to stop crying? I just fed you, and I just changed you, and I know you are tired… Come on, Liv…"

When Aaron knocked at the door 15 minutes later, Emily was still pacing with Olivia in her arms. She had stopped crying, but she was still fussing. The new-mom opened the door and almost jumped in Aaron's arms, desperate to finally have some support.

"Thank God, you're here…"

"What is going on?" he asked, walking in and putting the food on the kitchen counter.

"She's just really cranky today, I spent the last hour walking in the living room with her crying in my arms…"

Emily looked exhausted. She had shadows under her eyes, had not showered in three days and was wearing one of those very large sweaters and sweat pants she had kept from college. She was about to burst into tears and Aaron could see it. He softly kissed Emily on her forehead in an attempt to comfort her and offered to take Olivia in his arms.

"Hey, baby girl… Why are you giving Mommy such a hard time today? What is going on?" he asked, rocking her softly.

Emily sat on a chair and sighed, happy to finally have support after such a complicated day. She looked at Aaron who was just pacing in the living room with his daughter and smiled softly. He was perfect with her, it was instinctive. Emily was always amazed to see how easy it seemed for Aaron to take care of their daughter. Olivia already seemed calmer, and after a few minutes, Aaron walked to her bedroom to put her to bed.

When Aaron came back to the living room, Emily was reheating the food Aaron had brought and seemed happier than before.

"You cannot know how happy I am that you are here tonight. I just couldn't anymore…" she said honestly.

Aaron walked toward her and took her in his arms, kissing her temple and letting her cuddle against his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and closed her eyes for a few seconds, enjoying the comfort of his arms.

"I'm sorry it was that bad…" he said softly. "Do you want me to take her to my place tonight? So you can sleep for a full night?"

"Nah, it will be fine… And you have to work early tomorrow anyway… But you can take her during the week-end if you want, when you don't work."

"Sure"

Bringing the food in the living room, they ate on the couch, enjoying some quiet time as Olivia finally seemed settled. It was one of those days when she would not sleep more than an hour in a row, and Emily and Aaron were happy that she finally was sound asleep, even though Aaron had not spent much time with his daughter. Emily let her head fall on Aaron's chest after they finished eating, but she could feel that he already wanted to leave. He had not spent one night with her, was always leaving after dinner and was still restraining himself a lot. She could feel it and she wanted to talk to him about it. But it was a hard topic to broach. It was still hard for both of them to talk about their feelings, even though they both knew that they couldn't continue like this forever. Even for Aaron, it had become harder in the last month and a half since Olivia was born. It seemed like the birth of their daughter had done the trick, and everything had clicked in him. He loved Emily, even if it was still hard for him to admit it. He knew that he was restraining himself with Emily, but he wasn't even really doing it on purpose. It's just that he was still walking on eggshells with Emily, and he didn't even really know why. So, after a little while, he was ready to leave for the night.

"I should get going…" Aaron told Emily, standing from the couch.

"Aaron… Wait." Emily pleaded, holding his hand.

Aaron sat back on the couch and looked at Emily. He was surprised that she wanted to talk, she was usually never saying anything when he was leaving. It was like an understanding between the two of them.

"Can I ask you a question?" Emily asked, unsure.

"Yeah, of course…" he answered.

"I… If Olivia wasn't there, would you come, just to see me?"

It had come like a murmur, she wasn't sure how to say what she wanted to say.

"How do you mean?"

"I know that… it's still a little complicated between us, even if… You know" she stammered. "But, sometimes I wonder if you are being nice to me only because Olivia is here…"

Aaron sighed. He ran his hand in his hair, trying to think how he could explain his feelings to Emily without making things sound awkward.

"Em… I am not nice to you just because of Olivia. Of course not" he asserted. "But if you want me to be honest, I don't know where we would be today, if she was not there. Of course, she brought us back together. But I'm not staying here with you only because of Olivia, I'm not cuddling you just because of Olivia. If I didn't want to, I wouldn't. I was cuddling you before she was born anyway…" he reminded her.

"It's just… I can feel that you restrain yourself."

"Because I want Olivia to be our priority. But it doesn't mean that I don't want to be with you, I already told you. Or that I'm coming in the evenings just for her. I'm coming for you too…"

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely."

"Can you stay, tonight, please?"

"You sure?"

"Yeah, I want you to hold me tight tonight, I need you to hold me tight… It's just been a long day and I need you here."

Aaron nodded and Emily continued.

"I know that we said we wouldn't put labels on what we are or what we aren't, but this limbo is starting to be hard for me. I don't know what you feel, I just wish we could have a normal relationship. I want us to be normal… For once." Emily admitted.

"Are you saying that you want us… to be together?" Aaron asked, raising an eyebrow.

Emily nodded softly. She was afraid he would say no, that she was pressuring him to do something he didn't want to. That it was too soon after everything that had happened between them. She was biting her lower lip, tears already coming to her eyes, afraid that he would push her back.

"I want that too, Em…" he smiled at her.

"Really?"

"Really." he confirmed, putting his hand on hers.

His face coming nearer hers, their lips suddenly crashed together, erasing the fears of rejection she was carrying in herself. Their tongues dancing together, Aaron put his hand in her neck, his thumb caressing her gently. Emily's arms were around him, holding him as tight as she could, as if she was afraid he would change his mind. Gently, he pushed Emily to lie on the couch and lied on top of her, kissing her languorously. Her hands were starting to roam in his back, desperate to tug on the hem of his shirt. She slipped her hand under his shirt, feeling the soft skin of his back under her touch. It felt good to make out, to feel loved and finally be together.

Deep in their passion, they didn't even hear Gemma coming home, and it's only when she cleared her throat that they were suddenly stopped in their make-out, quickly sitting back up on the couch.

"Enjoying yourselves, I see…" she said with a smirk.

Emily and Aaron were both too ashamed to even answer. Emily was blushing and Aaron was just lowering his head, not wanting to cross Gemma's eyes.

"Let's be honest, I don't want to hear again all this bullshit 'We're not together', cause you clearly are…"

Gemma laughed softly and headed toward her bedroom, letting the two lovers on their own. But before closing her door, she yelled:

"Hey Em… We need to add the 'no sex on the couch' rule…"

When they heard the door closing, they chuckled softly, ashamed of being caught by Gemma. Emily let her head fall on Aaron's shoulder, desperately trying to hide herself.

"Well, let's just say that we won't have kept that a secret for long…" Aaron commented.

"I'm sure she already texted Seth…" Emily added.

There was a pause as Aaron chuckled, already imagining the numerous teasing he would have to face the day after at work.

"Maybe we should go to bed, don't you think? Try to catch some sleep before Livy wakes up…"

"Too late…" Emily said when she heard Olivia cry.

"Go to bed, I'll take care of her… She's probably just hungry, right?"

"Yeah, it's been a while I fed her… And Gemma probably woke her up with her door closing."

"Her yelling, you mean?" he chuckled.

"Yeah, that too…" Emily answered as Aaron was raising to pick up Olivia from her bedroom.

That night, Emily slept better than she had in the last few months. Holding Aaron tight against her, she felt safe and comfortable, and even Olivia waking them up in the middle of the night didn't prevent Emily from sleeping well. The day after, Aaron left after giving Olivia her first bottle of the day and went home to change. And when he arrived at the White House, he didn't even have the time to reach his office before he was jumped over by Seth.

"So… You wanna tell me something?" the Press Secretary asked, smirking.

"I think you already know, don't you?" Aaron answered, rolling his eyes.

"I'm just so happy for you guys…" Seth exclaimed.

Aaron shook his head and smiled. It was making him laugh to see everybody so excited that he and Emily were together.

"It took you long enough…" Seth continued.

Aaron rolled his eyes, laughing at his friend. They were reaching Aaron's office and the Press Secretary invited himself inside.

"So, it's for real?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, it is."

"You're finally making things right… I'm so happy, I was rooting for the both of you so much!"

"Rooting for us? What do you think we are? A movie couple?"

"Huh, sort of…" Seth shrugged, laughing.

"Okay, just get out of here already…" Aaron laughed.

Aaron sat in his chair as Seth left his office. He chuckled, realizing that not only Seth, but probably the whole building already knew that he and Emily were together, and took his phone out of his pocket. He took a few minutes to consider how and what to say, but there was only one thing he wanted to ask Emily.

"Want to come to my place tonight?"

-Aaron