AUTHORS NOTE: So… After Shikaku went home from tying Kakashi up, which is the side note before this one, he finds his son still awake.

Do y'all remember Shikamaru telling the Hokage about the talk he had with his dad regarding Kakashi's state? And that he made his elder promise him that he would be allowed to see Kakashi ASAP? Well… This is that convo. Duh…

I will take request for side notes throughout the main story, if there's a moment you feel like you've missed, let me know in either the reviews of by dropping me a note. I make no promises, but I'll consider every prompt ^.^

XOXOX

Side notes to
Hidden Feelings, Hidden Lives

XOXOX

Addition to Chapters 33 & 35; Friends Stick Together & A Day In The Life Of A Busy Hokage
Drabble title: I Swear On My Father's Grave

XOXOX

"Dad!" Shikamaru rushed out of his room and into the hallway the moment the heard the front door open.

Tired eyes sought out his only son as Shikaku silently prepared himself for the conversation to come, "Shikamaru, why aren't you in bed?" He asked, his voice soft from exhaustion.
I'd really hoped to postpone this conversation for as long as possible… I only have about two hours before my meeting, and I'd like to spent them sleeping. But he's never going to back off, is he? Damn, I didn't even realize we spent so much time in Kakashi's apartment…

"Where's Kakashi, dad? What did you do to him?"

"Son…" He sighed, "Tea?"

He watched as his only son grudgingly nodded, following him into the kitchen. Shikaku ordered his tired body to go through all the motions of preparing the tea he'd proposed. He'd originally planned on asking Shikamaru to do this, but the boy was shaking violently – it would be dangerous to let him around fire and boiling water. So he did it himself, silently. Trying to work out the words to use, how much details to give the boy. When he finally sat down across from his son, Shikaku still hadn't figured it out.
I'm just too tired right now…

"Dad…" Shikamaru sounded hesitant, "What happened?"

"Son," He sighed, wiping a hand over tired eyes, "How much do you know about Kakashi's life before this day?"

A frown appeared, "Why? What are you trying to get me to say?" He asked suspiciously.

"Nothing that I don't already know… Look, Shikamaru. The man's been in hiding, right?"

The boy nodded, pressing his lips tightly together. Clearly he didn't want to give anything away.

Just how close are they?
"Right, well… That basically means that the Kakashi everyone knows, isn't the real one, right?"

"I guess… Where are you going with this?" Shikamaru frowned, blowing on his tea.

Shikaku sighed, "Just that he's been living a double life. All his life."

Shikamaru just stared at him, not wanting to give his father any indication whether or not he knew more about this. It made sense, they were friends after all, but it made Shikaku's job that much harder.

"Shikamaru… It takes its toll, you know. Living two lives for any length of time takes its toll. Kakashi Hatake is an incredibly strong man, I think that's the only reason he's been able to keep it up for so long. But…"He rubbed his temples, his head was pounding, "He was here, and you and him are both…"

"Gay. You can say it dad," Shikamaru frowned, muttering something that he could just about make out, "It's not like it's some horrible disease…"

"It's not," He immediately assured his son, ripping the band out of his hair so he could try to massage his scalp and take some of the headache away, "It's not. I know that. And somewhere in the back of his mind, Kakashi does too. But for years… He thought it was, Shikamaru. You can't deny that."

"Guess not," The boy studied his movements, it wasn't so often that Shikaku actually conceded to the fact that his head hurt too much. He'd probably never seen him try to massage it away before. Usually, Yoshino would do this for him, in the safety of their own bedroom, before they went to sleep.

"I accidentally hurt him, Shikamaru. You saw it happen."

"I know. You didn't do anything wrong, though… He said he'd be okay with you knowing if it helped me…"

"That's… Brave," Shikaku blinked, this was unexpected.
So Kakashi had anticipated that this could happen, then? No, I imagine he didn't count on how much it would hurt…

"Yeah… He was there for me when I needed him. What did you do with him, dad?"

He sighed, "ANBU came, you noticed, right?"

Another small nod.

"He had an appointment with Lady Hokage earlier tonight. I think he got so wrapped up in helping you talk to me that he forgot. And then he crumbled, and he definitely forgot. By that time he was…"
I can't tell him this, he's just a boyfor god's sake!

"He was what, dad?" Another frown, Shikamaru was getting impatient.

"He was… Muttering. It happens sometimes. Shinobi who've been undercover for too long, they… They can't talk about that, so they talk about other things," He'd made the decision now, he would distract his son from Kakashi's actual words, and keep the boy away from him for as long as possible.
I don't ever want my son to find out what Kakashi did back then. Shikamaru is still innocent, still safe. If he learns about this… He can't. He can't start thinking that's a normal way to behave. He can't think that's an actual option! Man… I'm tired. My head's all foggy, and I don't even know if I'm making the right call here, but… I'll stick to it anyway.

"Kakashi spent years in ANBU; he's done countless classified missions. I think he couldn't hold it all back anymore. So he was muttering. About things that even I'm not allowed to know. Some of those missions were Hokage's eyes only. Do you know what that means, Shikamaru?"

"It means you're going to say I can't see him, right?" A wry smile graced the teenager's face, "It means you've found an excellent excuse to keep me away from him."

"It's not an excuse, Shikamaru…" He sighed again.

"Yes it is, you're lying to me, dad!"

"No, I'm not. You can't see him now, but –"

"You'll let me know the moment I can, right?" Eager, the boy looked him in the eyes.

"Shikamaru… Why do you want to see him so bad?" He worried the inside of his lip, "How clo–"

"Promise me, dad!"

"Why should I?" Irritation laced his words, this kid was in no position to start making demands!

"He's my friend! Lie to me all you want, but let me see him the second he's stopped this so-called classified muttering!"

"I'm not lying, Shikamaru! Damn you, will you just listen to me?"

"No! Promise me dad!"

"I will not. You are a minor, a chuunin, and you do not have proper clearance!"

"Don't you mean that I'm your son? That you want to keep the scary boogey man away from me?"

He sighed, took a sip of his tea and sighed again, "Shikamaru… Kakashi isn't some child-hood villain, you know…"

"I know, do you?"

"Fine, when I decide he's ready –"

"No! I don't trust you!"

Ouch! That's… That hurt.
Shikaku swallowed, retreating his shaking hands from the table.
He managed to make his voice came out steady, though, "Why don't you trust me?"

The boy visible swallowed, retreating into his chair as he all but whispered, "You think he's disgusting, you think I'm disgusting…"

"No, Shikamaru. I can honestly tell you that I don't. I might be a little hurt that you didn't think you could tell me… But that's… I'm not disgusted. I'm not angry and I don't think it's wrong. What is wrong, though, is letting you hear the things Kakashi's been muttering about all day…"

"Then let me see him dad, as soon as he's stopped…" He pleaded now, softly begging his father.

"Alright… I'll go check on him tomorrow. If he's back to being Kakashi… I'll call you. Okay?"

Shikamaru nodded, still looking dejected.

"Son, I really don't have a problem with this, I swear on my father's grave that I don't."

Eyes shot up, "The only other time you swore on his grave was when you said that I could master the clan jutsu…"

"And you did. You mastered it to a degree way beyond your years. I only swear on my father's grave when I am absolutely certain, son. And I am. So you prefer guys, so what?"

"Don't prefer, dad…"

"Shikamaru, be honest with me, here. Have you ever found a girl attractive?"

"I can see it, but… No, not really… Why? You still hoping?" His eyes shone with unshed tears, and Shikaku shuddered at the thought of what he'd put his own son through for all these years.

"No, the only thing I hope for is that you find someone you love, and that that someone loves you back. That they –that he – is worthy of your love and devotion. I just want you to be happy, after all. I was only being curious, I suppose I should have phrased it better…"

"Yes… You should have. But I really… I mean… I never…"

"I get it. I do," He sighed, "I don't know, Shikamaru, maybe a tiny part of me was holding on to hope. But… That's just because…" He worried the inside of his lip, unsure how to continue.

Shikamaru seemed to know, though, as he whispered the words his father could not push passed his lips, "I'm your heir…"

"You are… We'll figure that part out as we go along… Even if you end up with another guy, Shikamaru… It… It wouldn't necessarily mean that there will be no heir. And even if you did end up with a woman, it wouldn't necessarily mean there would be… But this is not a conversation we should be having at four AM… I'd actually hoped to get some sleep before my meeting, but I guess a shower and a pot of coffee will have to do. You should try to, though," He gave his son a serious look, "You look exhausted, go to bed."

"You look even more exhausted though, dad…" He slowly got up, looking at his father one more time, "You'll keep your promise, right?"

"I will son. I swear."