AUTHORS NOTE: This is actually what happened in between 'The Talk' and 'Lust'.
When I originally wrote that (way back around when I was writing chapter 35… I had a whole list of 'Unplaced Chapter' crowding up the laptop) I didn't know what went in between – and I didn't really need to write it either, so I didn't. And then, suddenly, I got inspiration. Yay. I wanted to write smut, and so I did. Multiple side notes and other tidbits.
Over the holidays.
When I had no time to spare.
There's that…

I will take request for side notes throughout the main story, if there's a moment you feel like you've missed, let me know in either the reviews of by dropping me a note. I make no promises, but I'll consider every prompt ^.^

Oh and eh… SPOILER ALERT.
If you don't want to read a spoiler, come back here after you've had the chance to read chapter 59, you shouldn't have to wait that long, so… Contain your curiosity if you want to keep following this story as is, if not… Well, I'd love to hear what you think about this, and also what you think of my latest teasing technique xD

XOXOX

Side notes to
Hidden Feelings, Hidden Lives

XOXOX

Addition to Chapters 55 & 57; The Talk & Lust Is A Powerful Word
Drabble title: I'm Touching Him, Oh God, I'm Touching Him

XOXOX

"Yeah, side note; make sure your guy is fucking gorgeous, can't have a cutie like you giving himself to some ugly fucker…"

Did he just… Say that? Fucking gorgeous? That's… You are… So… Is it okay then? I want to… I want to so bad. I love you, Kakashi, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you!

Do you… Can you… I mean… Am I good enough? Are you… Would you consider?
Do you love me, too? I want to know, Kakashi… I need to know… I tried to coax it out of you all night, but… You didn't understand, did you? Or maybe you just don't care about me like that…

I know you know all about Asuma, about how I fell in love with the guy… I know you did, too.
Do you realize I'm over him, now? Do you understand that it's you I want?
Would you say that I'm going too fast? That I haven't quite gotten over him completely yet? Most would… I think you wouldn't. I think you… Would understand. But then… Do you love me, Kakashi? Do you love me like I love you?

If you did… You would've said something by now, wouldn't you? You're always honest with me, at least. So… You don't?
But somehow I can't really believe that either…
Maybe because I don't want to.
Maybe because I keep hoping.
Maybe… Maybe I'm wrong…

"Shikamaru? I didn't mean to embarrass you…" Kakashi regarded his young friend seriously for a moment, noticing the blush had only increased, "Okay, maybe I did… A little. But –"

"Stop it. It's fine," Shikamaru's words came out curt and clipped. He sighed, softening his tone as the older man seemed a little hurt by his earlier words, "Kakashi… I didn't mean that to come out like that… It's just…"

"It's alright," He flashed him a quick smile, "I realize it's a little… Much."

"Yeah… Say, Kakashi?"

"Hmmm?"

'How do you feel about me?'
'Do you love me?'
'I've been in love with you for too long.'
'I love you.'
'Please never leave me…'
Shikamaru shook his head violently, there was no way he could say any of that out loud, so it was no use thinking about it. He bit his lip, leaning over a little, but the copy ninja retreated, studying the younger face. Shikamaru sighed.
I'm doomed…

"Hey," Kakashi's voice was soft, worry laced in, "What's up?"

"Never mind…" He retreated a little, looking down.

"Shikamaru… I'll talk about anything, you know that, right? There's really nothing to be ashamed about, whatever it is, I've probably already been there before…" He sighed silently.
I've pretty much done everything before… Except maybe… This…

Dude! That's the fucking problem!
"No… It's cool. I didn't really want to say anything…"

"Then what?" The silver-haired man quirked an eyebrow, trying to turn the awkwardness into another joke – that always felt safer, "You checking me out?"

Uh… Yeah… That and… Trying to kiss you, I guess…
Shikamaru forced his lips into a smirk, "Maybe…"

Taken aback, the copy ninja took a little time to come up with a reply, eventually settling on an inelegant, "Why?"

The Nara swallowed, this wasn't a joke, he'd assumed Kakashi would reply with a joke!
Now what do I do…?
"Just…" He swallowed again, trying not to show his nervousness, cursing his red cheeks with every breath he took, "You said fucking gorgeous, right? I was just checking to see if you qualify…"
That didn't come out right! It should've sounded like a joke! That didn't sound like a joke at all! He's going to figure me out, after all, isn't he? Man… I'm done for… What a drag…

Kakashi blinked.
Fucking gorgeous? I did say that, didn't I?
But… He's kidding… Has to be… He'd never…
"And? How do I hold up to inspection?" His tone light, eye crinkled in his signature smile, the copy ninja hoped that he'd convincingly replied to Shikamaru's joke in the same manner.

Oh crap… Doomed… Done for… I love him…
"You'd do…"
Oh man! That wasn't what I wanted to say at all! That was mean! Kakashi, I didn't mean it! I honest to god didn't mean it like that! I swear!

I'd do…? Does that mean… No, don't be stupid!
I can't be thinking about this! He's fifteen, I'm twenty-nine, he's pure and innocent and perfect and I'm – don't go there. Anyway, there's no way that's what he meant… No way.
"Good to hear, I guess," He winked, opening his mouth to say something like 'But I'm too old for you, you know,' but the words didn't come out. He couldn't say it, couldn't… Never.
Not when I want to…
NO, we're friends! He's my friend! Don't ever think about him like that again, you dirty pervert!

Is he… Is he really… I mean… No, probably not…
The Nara's shoulders slumped a little, but he covered it up by fiddling with the hem of his pant leg, "If you say so…" He sounded bored, the mask he'd been perfecting over the years securely in place.

Kakashi shifted, sitting sideways on the bed, his back to the window, he studied his young friend for a little while. Shikamaru didn't seem inclined to ever look up again, and it was starting to worry the older man a little. But he didn't know what to say, so he just crossed his legs and stayed silent.

Minutes had passed before Shikamaru suddenly looked up, dark eyes seemingly searching his face. He looked away again, studying the knob on the upper desk drawer.

Still not knowing what to say, Kakashi said nothing. Swallowing hard as he tried his best to suppress the images and memories flooding his brain.
Shikamaru, screaming out his release back at that little inn.
Shikamaru, smiling that amazing little smirk of his.
Shikamaru, blushing, but looking at him with excitement in his eyes as he pointed at Kakashi, laughing as he said the man had just basically admitted to owning sex toys.
Shikamaru, laying on his back, naked, panting on Kakashi's bed – No!
Shikamaru's lips on his own – Stop it!
Shikamaru, panting above him as he – Stay away, you dirty pervert!
Tsunade, acting all innocent, "Would you like to?"

Kakashi sighed.
Yes, Tsunade… Yes I would…

"What's wrong?" Shikamaru didn't look up, fiddling with the hem of his pants as his eyes stayed fixed on the knob on the desk drawer.

"Nothing… I just, eh… You're… Worrying me a little. Could you please tell me what you're thinking about?"

A smirk, "No."

"Why not?"

Because you might hate me for it… Hate me for messing with our friendship. Hate me for telling you that I love you…

"Shikamaru?" He leaned back a little, trying to get a better view of the Nara's face.
Suddenly, the boy looked up, moving faster than Kakashi'd ever seen him move before. He sat down, all but straddling the knee of the silver-haired man, "I'll show you," He placed one hand on Kakashi.
I'm touching him! Oh god, I'm touching him! I am touching Kakashi Hatake's cock!

The man gulped, "Shi-Shikamaru, this probably isn't a good idea," Kakashi stuttered.

The Nara began to lightly stroke his elder's member through the uniform pants, "I know."