AUTHORS NOTE: You might remember that this particular chapter left Kakashi and Iruka standing just outside Kakashi's door, a peaceful and warm atmosphere hanging around them. They've both decided the other is the most trustworthy person they know. Why would they just stand there silently until Kakashi goes to bed? Doesn't make sense, right? They're best friends after all. No matter how amicable the silence, there will be words again. How about these words…?

PS: Thank you Letsrandom for (accidentally) putting this idea in my head ;)
And thank you Mswan for being the amazing Beta that you are. I will never be able to thank you enough ^.^ (And yes, I want to be Kashi's friend too, even if he gets gropey :P)

I will take request for side notes throughout the main story, if there's a moment you feel like you've missed, let me know in either the reviews of by dropping me a note. I make no promises, but I'll consider every prompt ^.^

XOXOX

Side notes to
Hidden Feelings, Hidden Lives

XOXOX

Addition to Chapter 77; He Is So Loud
Drabble title: Kashi & Ruka, Best Friends

XOXOX

They stood silently for a little while, two friends enjoying the sunset, each other´s company. They didn´t really need any words right now. Iruka realized that this wasn't a silence that his best friend needed; he was free to speak if he wanted to. And to be honest… He wanted to.

"Kakashi, can I ask you something?" He didn't look at the silver-haired man, instead watching the sun set behind the buildings in the distance.

A small smile formed on his face, though he knew the mask hid it. His gaze lingering on the setting sun, he spoke softly, "Whatever you want, Ruka. You can ask anything."

A deep breath, "Shikamaru told me you, eh…" Iruka swallowed, nearly whispering, "He was still a virgin, right?"

"He was. Honestly Iruka…" Kakashi sighed, picking another cigarette, "I… I love him –"

Iruka snorted, "Hard to miss, Kashi…"

Amused, he looked at his friend, "You never call me that anymore…"

"Because you asked me to stop," He looked up at Kakashi for a moment, studying the older man's features – or lack thereof.
Over the years I've gotten too used to him taking the mask off… I've gotten spoiled…

"When?" Kakashi's tone was soft, surprised.

"Eh…" Iruka rubbed the back of his head a little uncomfortably, "I might have been force-feeding you at the time…"

"Ah… Well, disregard the statement then, please," Chuckling a little, he nudged his best friend's shoulder gently, "I wasn't myself…"

"No, if you were, you wouldn't have tried to hit me at the time…" Iruka sounded thoughtful. But then he shook his head, "We were talking about Shikamaru though."

"Yeah…" Kakashi's tone held a different kind of warmth than Iruka was used to from him, always did when he spoke about the young Nara. It made the sensei smile a little.

"I would have waited for him, you know? I actually was waiting for him to be honest. I tried so hard to only think about him as one of my best friends, but… Cuteness wouldn't have it," He chuckled lightly, "He can be such an aggressive lover sometimes…"

Looking up at his best friend, Iruka had to suppress a chuckle. Kakashi was staring off into the sunset, looking dreamy. He'd never seen the man like this, right now Kakashi looked so completely happy – it was a shame he couldn't always be like this. Although… "Kakashi," He giggled, "Are you serious?"

"Why yes. Completely," Surprised, he blinked at his friend, "It's a good thing, you know. Well, to me it is."

"Yeah, I can tell," Chuckling, he gave a small nod in the general direction of the bulge in Kakashi's pants.

"Ah… Well," He rubbed the back of his head, looking just a little sheepish, "I just…"

"Kakashi," Still chuckling, he stared off into the distance, "I don't mind, you know. And I've always known you can get a little too excited a little too easily…"

"Yeah… It's just that… For the longest time, there wasn't really anything to get excited about, Ruka. I mean… We only became close after I closed the book on that chapter of my life after all… And… I guess abstaining just really doesn't suit me," Kakashi chuckled, throwing his best friend another amused look.

"No," He chuckled along, "You get gropey…"

"I what?!" Alarmed, he stared.

"I never minded, Kashi," Iruka soothed the man, "You just… Hug, I guess. I've kind of always liked that. But apparently that stopped when you got someone to hug in a more private setting," He chuckled, but a wry smile settled on his lips.

Kakashi swallowed, "I don't think I ever really realized, Ruka…"

"I know. Don't worry about it, that's all I'm trying to say, okay?" Suddenly, an arm wrapped around his shoulder, pulling him close against the older man's body. A little startled, Iruka blinked, "Kakashi…?"

"I'm sorry, Ruka. Most of the times that I actually remember… I always thought that I must've made you so uncomfortable, so I tried not to do it again. Which didn't work, but then suddenly it did. And… I didn't think about it anymore because I was embarrassed about what I know most people would call 'inappropriate touching'…"

Leaning against his friend, Iruka chuckled a little, "You're my best friend, Kakashi. I don't see anything inappropriate about a hug. Even if you have gone a little too far at times, I never really minded, Kashi. Okay, wait…" Chuckling, he pulled away, looking up at his friend with amusement in his eyes, one finger raised the way Kakashi always did, "Grabbing my ass is out from now on," He winked, leaning back against the railing.

For a moment, Kakashi just stared, his whispered words came slow, "Please tell me you're joking and I never did that…?"

"Twice."

The silver-haired man swallowed, turning away, "I'm really sorry, Ruka…"

He sighed softly, "Kashi, I just said I never minded. Much. You did make me a little uncomfortable that day, but… You were so far gone, Kakashi. I just… I'm not sure what I thought was going on inside your head, but I never thought you were touching me. You just…"

"This was that time when I tried to, eh…" Kakashi swallowed, whispering, "When I cut myself up, right?"

"Yeah… And you could barely move, so I had to do basically everything for you."

"Ruka… I only remember flashes from that time…" The older man shuddered, "And I'd rather not remember more… I know that there was… You were helping me change, and I…"

"Had a, eh… Physical reaction, yes. And then you groped me. And I kind of figured you were probably thinking about some chick or whatever – Gosh, I don't think I've ever been that wrong about you before!" Laughing, Iruka had to hold on to the railing just to stay on his feet.

Kakashi looked a little embarrassed, cheeks pink even above the mask. When his friend calmed down again, he swallowed, "Wanna know what I was really thinking about? Because that much, I remember quite clearly," He winked, leaning against the wall across from Iruka.

"Am I going to blush?" Still chuckling, he looked up at his friend.

"Possibly…" He drawled.

"Okay, you know what? You obviously want to, so tell me," Biting his cheek to keep from laughing again, Iruka waited for what most likely be anther serving of embarrassment from his best friend. So long as it was Kakashi though, the brunette never really minded much.

"I was a little hazy, and I honest to god didn't even really recognize you – I guess you noticed that much…" Biting his lip, he watched Iruka nod, "And… Well, you see… I kind of had… A crush at the time. Civilian guy, don't even know his name," Smiling, he shook his head a little, "I'd decided I was never going to, eh… do anything about that anymore anyway, so it didn't really matter what his name was. Okay, to be fair, I never really cared about names much. But… I don't know, Ruka. You kind of… Reminded me of him? Not that you two look so much alike, but…" Kakashi swallowed, looking away, "I was a little obsessed with him, and I wanted nothing more than for him to be the one touching me, and so…" Shrugging a little uncomfortably, "I don't remember anything else, just the thoughts, but I guess that's when, eh…"

"Yeah, guess so…" Iruka deliberately kept his tone soft, "But Kashi, I honestly didn't really mind, you know. If I did, I would've at least gotten up at that time. I mean, I tried to get your hand away, but that was more because it was so distracting, you know?" Chuckling again, he could feel his cheeks burn, "It's actually a little funny though… The only one who's ever touched me is my best friend, and that's just because he was thinking of someone else…" His smile turned a little sad, and he turned his back to the older man so Kakashi wouldn't see it. But of course he'd noticed. Stepping a little closer, he rested his arm on Iruka's shoulders once more.

"I know there's someone amazing out there for you, Ruka. You're one of the best guys I've ever met, and I know a lot of people. Somewhere out there, there's someone who deserves you. And you deserve them. And that means that they're fucking fantastic because you only deserve the very best, my friend."

Smiling a little, he leaned his head against Kakashi's shoulder for a moment, "You're tired, you should just go to bed…"

"I will. In a bit. Right now, I don't really want to go anywhere…"

Iruka nodded, Kakashi was right. He didn't want to go anywhere right now either. They watched the last light disappear together, watched the first stars show off their silvery light, "Kakashi?"

"Hmmm?"

"I should go home…"

"You could stay…?"

Iruka snorted, pulling free of the older man's embrace, "I kind of doubt Shikamaru's going to like that very much."

The silver-haired man regarded him with a serious look, "You're just as important to me, Ruka. Different kind of important, but just as much."

"I know…" The brunette sighed, "You just don't need that kind of trouble right now, Kakashi. To Shikamaru, I'm still Iruka-sensei. With all kinds of wonderful things attached to that. I don't think I'm ready for him to see me in the early morning yet," Winking, he turned to leave. Smiling softly as Kakashi's voice followed him.

"Alright. Thank you for everything, my friend… Good night, Ruka…"

"Good night, Kashi."