February 5th, 2010
Sioux Falls, South Dakota
No one really did anything for the next several days. Alex cleaned the whole house in an attempt to keep herself distracted, but nothing really worked. Sam and Dean stayed there, helping out in whatever ways they could. Alex avoided them as much as possible. She'd finally spent the night at Craig's, and had decided that she wasn't going back. Not now.
There was a knock on the spare bedroom door. "Alex?" That was Craig. "You okay in there, sweetheart?"
Alex was hunched up on the corner. "I'm fine," she insisted, voice cracking.
"There's a guy here to see you. He wants to come -"
The door opened, and Dean stepped through. Alex turned her head away, hiding her tear-stained face. She heard the door close, and Dean sat down next to her.
"Go away."
"Bobby's found us a case."
"I don't care."
"You need to get back out there." Dean put his hand on her knee. "It's not your fault."
Alex pushed him away. "It is my fault," she growled. "I knew the Colt was useless. I-I forgot they died, all because I thought t-there was something we needed to know that I forgot. I knew there was something I had forgotten! And -" She staggered to her feet, shaking her head. She stumbled over to the bed, voice dropping to a low mumble. "I forgot. I'm useless."
Dean followed. "You're not useless, Alex."
Alex turned on him. "I am too! Look at me! What have I done? How have I made anything better? Everyone is still dying, and I have done nothing. I let them die, Dean." She angrily brushed tears away. "I'm no hunter. I'm not any help to you guys. Maybe . . . maybe I should just leave."
"Alex." Dean stepped closer, and Alex stepped away. "You're not useless. How many times have you saved our lives, huh? Remember two years ago? You brought me back from hell, saved me from the buruburu. You figured out Uriel was the rat, saved me from that damn cannibal, remembered about the ghouls, and the horsemen. I would have killed Sam if it wasn't for you!" Realizing he was on the verge of yelling, Dean lowered his voice. "You're not useless, Alex. We'll figure it out, even if you can't remember."
Alex just shook her head. She sat down on the bed.
"Come on." Dean held out his hand. "A case is just the thing to take your mind off of it all."
Alex took it. Dean held her tight when her hand trembled.
...
He led her back Bobby Singer's house. Sam and Bobby were sitting in the study, waiting. Alex rubbed her eyes, knowing her eyes were still red from crying. Thankfully, it was ignored.
"What's up?" Dean asked.
"I got a call from an old friend. Name's Martin. Maybe you've heard of him. He was a fine hunter for a while. Checked himself in to Glenwood Springs Psychiatric Hospital a few months back. He called a little while ago; supposedly got a case down there. I checked it out, and he's right." Bobby handed Sam a piece of paper. "In the past few months there's been over eight deaths. All written up as suicides."
"So?"
"So the place hasn't had that many deaths. Ever. Just go check it out. Get your minds off the apocalypse."
Sam and Dean looked at each other and shrugged. "Okay, fine. We'll check it out." Dean let out a sigh.
Sam agreed. "We'll leave in the next five minutes. Alex? You want to come?"
Alex started to decline, but Bobby cut her off. "You go too. You've been moping around for the past three days. Go do something useful."
"Fine." Alex rolled her eyes. I'll get my bag."
...
Ketchum, Ohio
Dean pulled the car up into the parking lot of the Glenwood Springs Psychiatric Hospital. Alex got out of the back seat, stretching her legs. "Okay, remember." Dean ran over the plan one more time for them. "Me and Sam are going to get ourselves checked in, do a little snooping around. Alex, you're going to stay on the outside. If you remember anything, contact us, you hear?"
"Yeah." Alex nodded, glancing over at Sam. "So I shouldn't get checked in to the psych ward."
"Uh, yeah." Dean looked over at her. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"
"No, no. I'm good." Alex shook her head. "Let's go." She followed Dean and Sam into the building.
"Hey." Dean stopped by the front desk. "I'm Eddie Moscone? I'm here to, uh, check my brother in? We had an appointment with a Mr.- Dr. Fuller."
"Ah, yes." The woman nodded. "Just go through those doors and to the left. His office is the second to the left.'
"Thank you." Dean shot her a charming smile before walking off. Sam and Alex followed. They followed the directions, and soon found themselves in front of a door. Dean knocked, then entered.
"Ah, come in." An older man stood up, motioning them to sit. He looked friendly, and Alex immediately liked him. Dean and Sam sat down, and Alex opted for leaning against the wall behind them. The man noticed. "Let me get you a chair," he began.
"No, no, it's fine," Alex promised. "Don't worry about me."
The doctor hesitated, but sat back down. He began flipping through the pages of a folder in front of him. "So, Alex Moscone. You were referred to me by a Mr. Babar in Chicago."
"That's right," Dean agreed.
"Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?" the doctor asked.
Alex glanced at Dean, waiting for his response. "I don't know. I don't have any elephant books," Dean kind of stammered. "Look, doctor, I-I think the doc was in over his head with this one." He motioned to Sam. "Cause me brother is-" He made the crazy sign by his head.
Dr. Fuller raised a hand to stop him. "Okay, fine, thank you. That's-that's really not necessary." He picked up his notepad and pen, turning to look at Sam. "Now, why don't you tell me how you're feeling, Alex?"
Alex perked up, then realized Sam was using the cover name Alex. Oh.
Sam let out a sigh. "I'm fine. I mean, okay. A little depressed, I guess."
"Okay. Any idea why?"
"Probably because I started the apocalypse."
The doctor paused. "The apocalypse?"
"Yeah, that's right."
Dr. Fuller looked from Dean to Alex, then back to Sam. "And you think you started it?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, I killed this demon, Lilith, and I accidentally freed Lucifer from Hell. So now, he's topside, and we're trying to stop him."
"We? Who's we?"
"Me. A-And him." Sam pointed at Dean. "And this one angel."
"An angel?" the doctor repeated. "Oh. You mean, like an angel that sits on your shoulder."
"No. His name's Castiel. He wears a trench coat," Sam said simply. Alex barely held in a chuckle. The doctor said nothing, but went back to taking notes.
"See what I mean?" Dean said. "The kid's been beating himself up for months. The apocalypse wasn't his fault."
Dr. Fuller looked up, shocked. "It wasn't?" he asked slowly.
"No. There was this other demon. Ruby. She got him addicted to demon blood, and near the end he was practically chugging the stuff." The doctor looked from Sam, to Dean, then to Alex. Dean continued. "My brother's not evil. He was just . . . high . . . yeah? So, could you fix him up so we could get back to traveling the country and hunting monsters?"
"And do you hunt monsters?" The doctor looked over at Alex.
Remembering her job, she shook her head. "Monsters aren't real."
"Haha. Very funny," Dean grumbled.
The doctor picked up the office phone. "Irma? Cancel my lunch." He glanced back to Sam and Dean before dialing another extension. "Uh, can you send in a nurse?"
A few seconds later, a nurse entered. Dr. Fuller and her exchanged a few quiet words, and then the nurse turned back to them. "Come with me," she instructed.
Dean and Sam stood up. Alex followed them out. "Dr. Fuller would like to keep both of you under observation for a couple of days," the nurse said.
"Both?" Dean interrupted. "Me too?"
"Yes, Sugar. The doctor thinks that would be best."
Sam and Dean exchanged smiles.
"But not me, right?" Alex asked.
"No, you are free to go. If you could just wait in the waiting room for a few minutes."
"Uh, yeah. Sure." Alex headed off that way.
...
Within ten or so minutes, she was ushered into another room. Sam and Dean entered, both wearing blue scrubs and a white robe. "Hey," Alex smiled.
"Hey," Sam muttered.
Alex chuckled. "Nice robes. They look comfy."
"They are," Dean grinned. He tossed her a bag.
"What?" Alex caught it, frowning.
"Our clothes, our stuff, etc." Dean explained. He handed her the car keys. "Take care of Baby," he warned.
Alex laughed. "I will," she promised. "Okay. So I'll check in everyday, noon-ish? See what help I can be. How's that sound?"
"Sounds peachy." Dean looked around, examining the room. "We'll, uh, we'll let you know when we need to get out." He lowered his voice. "Probably right after the hunt. Like, right after. So, stay on your toes."
"Will do. I'll be staying at the motel down the road. Two minute drive."
"Good," Sam nodded appreciatively.
"Okay. Then I'll be off. Good luck you two." Alex gave both of them a brief, and slightly awkward hug. "Remember. Crazy works."
Dean grinned at that statement. "Won't forget it." Then Alex left.
Getting into the Impala, she drove it down the street to their motel, excited that Dean finally trusted her enough to drive it; even after what she had done. She had to admit it was a nice car. Dean had really put a lot of work into it, because it handled like a dream.
...
The next day, around noon, she went back to the hospital. After signing in, she was escorted through several locked doors. Finally, she was let into the visiting room. Sam and Dean soon joined her. "Hey guys," she smiled broadly.
"Hey." Dean sat down in the chair across from her. "How's it going?" His voice grew threatening. "Is Baby okay?"
"You're car is perfectly fine," Alex sighed. "How about you? You know what we're dealing with yet?"
"Uh, Martin has some ideas." Dean glanced around. "He's thinking a wraith."
"Wraith?" Alex tilted her head. "Like, a ring wraith?"
"Sort of. They, uh, suck their victim's brains dry."
Alex closed her eyes, thinking hard. "Sounds very, very familiar," she finally said. "Okay. Uh, here's what I got. Don't trust me, but, uh. It's a staff member. Woman. Definitely woman. Infects through saliva? Or touch? Dunno, sorry." She smiled apologetically. "Not sure if that's much help. It's kind of scattered."
"That's plenty of help." Dean leaned forward, pressing a quick kiss on her forehead. "Thank you. We should hopefully be out of here by tonight. Be ready."
"Will do. I'll be in the parking lot."
"If we're not out by two in the morning, you can leave."
"Will do," Alex repeated. "Good luck." And with that, she left.
...
She drove back to the motel, parked the car, and unlocked the motel door. She closed it behind her before flipping on the lights. "Shit!" She jumped back, her back hitting the wooden door. "Personal space, man!"
Castiel blinked, then stepped backwards. "Apologies."
Alex pushed past him, dropping the keys on the table. "Whatever."
"There's something wrong." Castiel turned to watch her. "You haven't asked to talk since Carthage." He tipped his head. "You shouldn't beat yourself up over their deaths."
"Why couldn't I have remembered? It's like I can't! L-like there's a wall or - oh." Alex sucked in a breath, and her eyes closed. "A wall."
Castiel stayed quiet.
Alex sat down on the bed. "Do you think the wall you put in is why I can't remember?"
Castiel stayed where he was by the door. "It's possible," he slowly agreed, "that the wall is keeping some of the memories in, just like it keeps people out." Before Alex could ask, he added, "If you want, I can go back in there. But the only way to get those memories completely through is to take down the wall."
Alex shook her head. "I don't want that." Her voice shook slightly. "No. I want to stay alive."
"I won't let you die." Castiel approached. "Do you want me to see what I can find?"
Alex scooted up further on the bed. "No. No, I-I'm fine."
Castiel nodded. He looked around the room. "Where are Sam and Dean?" He turned back to Alex. "They haven't been here."
"No, I didn't run away, if that's what you're wondering." Alex crossed her arms. "They're down at the mental hospital. Working a case."
"Hm."
Silence. Alex didn't want to talk, and she knew Castiel wasn't the best at small talk. Eventually the angel just nodded. "I have to go."
"Yup."
Castiel was gone, and Alex curled up on the bed.
...
It was two days later, and Alex was sitting in the parking lot. It was late, almost midnight. Dean and Sam hadn't killed the wraith yet, so Alex had made a habit of spending the night in the parking lot, waiting.
Suddenly, the hospital's alarms when off. Alex sat up, tiredness lost. She saw them approaching, and looked up. They hurried closer, mouths moving. Alex couldn't hear what they were saying, but suddenly they stopped by the car. They continued to talk, but didn't get it. Confused, Alex strained her ears.
"Most of the time, I can hide it," Sam was saying. "But, I'm angry. I'm mad at everything. I used to be mad at you and dad, then Lilith, now it's Alex and Lucifer, and I make excuses. I blame Ruby, or the demon blood, or Alex, but, but it's not their fault. It's not them, it's me. I mad - all the time - and I don't know why."
Alex closed her eyes at his words, feeling a painful tug on her heart. Sam looked truly anguished.
"Stop it," Dean said. "Stop it. So what if you are? What are you gonna do? You gonna take a leave of absence? You gonna say yes to Lucifer? What?"
"No. Of course not. I-"
"Exactly. And that's exactly what you're gonna do. You're gonna take all the crap and you're going to bury it. You're going to forget about it, because that's how we keep going! That's how we don't end up like Martin! You with me?"
Sam didn't reply.
"Come on, man. Are you with me?" Dean repeated.
"Yeah, I'm with you."
"Good."
Alex opened the car door. "If you're done sharing your feelings, we really should get out of here." No one argued. Alex jumped into the backseat, and Sam and Dean got into the front. Dean started the car, and they drove off into the night.
...
"So, Alex. You were right." Dean glanced back at her from the driver's seat. "Crazy works." At that, Sam snickered.
"Oh?" Alex cocked an eyebrow. "Pray tell."
Sam quickly told the story. "We got caught in the morgue so Dean pulled down his pants and yelled, 'pudding!' at the nurse."
Alex laughed. "Beautiful. That sounds amazing. Any other awkward stories?" She leaned forward over the bench seat. It was early the next morning, and they were driving as far away from that hospital as they could.
Neither Sam nor Dean responded, and Alex rolled her eyes. "Okay. Wraith then. How right was I?"
"Spot on," Sam nodded. "She was a female, and she was a staff member."
"Ha!" Alex declared, triumphant. "I should be on ten percent."
Dean laughed. "And you said you were useless." He shook his head. "Don't think you could have been more wrong."
Alex fell back against the seat, Dean's praise warm on her heart. She smiled, looking out the window. He might be right.
...
...
Okay. So, since this is such a short chapter, and since I've been getting a lot of the same questions, I'm going to do a bit of Q&A. Mostly because some people have disabled PM or are guests so I can't answer their comments.
1. Will we ever learn Alex's real name? Probably not. Not even I know her real name, so until I come up with one, it's not going to be revealed. Not a whole lot is known about Alex's past life, and that's the way I intend to keep it.
2. Why doesn't Alex remember more? I mentioned in the first chapter that Alex has only seen the episodes once or twice (she's not a huge fan like us). I gave a bit of an explanation in this chapter, but I also don't want to veer too far from the actual storline, so that means keeping major things the same. Sorry :/
3. Why is Sam so angry at her all the time? That was explained in this chapter. The line's actually canon by the way. I think, especially from the convention, the "abuse" (if you want to call it that) was just because Sam, and hunters in general, aren't use to being gentle. He's not trying to hurt her. (Except when he tried to kill her after Ellen and Jo.) Bobby's always telling him and Dean that thay have to be careful with her because as much as Alex wants to think she is, she isn't strong like them.
4. How far will this story go? This current story is only going to go to season 5 and a little in between seasons, but I'm prepared to take it further. I'm not sure how far I'd take it. I guess it just depends on how many people keep reading.
5. What about Alex/Cas? Alex/Dean? Spoilers.