AUTHORS NOTE: So… Apparently, the chapter ended in a cliffhanger. This, because it was technically unfinished when I sent it off to my amazing Beta… Who scolded me for the umpteenth cliffhanger… And, I kinda liked that. So… I didn't wanna put it in there after all. But my chapter count didn't allow me to add another chapter for this, so it became a side note ^.^

Technically… My beta is responsible for the existence of this side note too… Mswan0117, I hope you're gonna like this one… Thank you for the Beta, though. And for turning the word 'swallow' into a sort of running gag… xD

I will take request for side notes throughout the main story, if there's a moment you feel like you've missed, let me know in either the reviews of by dropping me a note. I make no promises, but I'll consider every prompt ^.^

XOXOX

Side notes to
Hidden Feelings, Hidden Lives

XOXOX

Addition to Chapter 87: Dinner
Drabble title: Hungry For You

XOXOX

Shikamaru swallowed, feeling his cheeks start to burn. The fingers of his left hand started tracing little circles on his lover's chest, "No… Well, I guess the sexy thing to say here is 'hungry for you,' but… I thought I kinda wanted to try something here…"

"Like what?"

It took the Nara some time to reply, his fingers softly wandering across Kakashi's chest. The man calmly waited, he knew his young lover needed a little time to speak certain words out loud – he couldn't help it, he still thought it was cute. Though he really was getting a little curious…

Finally though, Shikamaru smirked, still following his fingers with his gaze, "Your cock in my mouth…"

Kakashi blinked but then couldn't suppress a dirty smirk, "Really now?"

Shikamaru sat up, straddling his lover and pushing him down on his back, "Really now."

But the silver-haired man sighed softly, gently taking hold of his lover's trembling hands resting on his shoulders, "Cuteness, there's no pressure. You know that, right?"

Swallowing, the Nara looked away for a second, "I know… But I can still be a little nervous about something that I want, can't I?"

"You can."
And you're definitely not the only one wanting this, Shikamaru… Only, I've never actually had to be someone's first time with this. Which is making me a little nervous. What if you don't like it? I mean, that's fine, I guess. I'll live with that – I've been living with that for years already. I can do that much. But I'm not really sure how I'm going to react if you just… Stop. Or if you're horrible at this. I don't even really know which would be worse, here…

Shikamaru swallowed.
Wait, I shouldn't be swallowing, right? Eh… Not yet at least. I mean… When Kakashi does this, it's always like… Wet, right? So… I probably shouldn't swallow…

He swallowed again.
Damn! What did I just say? No swallowing! Damnit! Okay… But, how do I do this? What does he do again…?

Kakashi tried to stay calm, watching his boyfriend's slightly unsettling expression.
Okay… So I'm not sure if he's psyching himself out of it, or if he's about to puke… Either way, that's pretty bad, huh? I don't think I really like where this is going right now. It's not like I'm scared he's going to hurt my pride or anything – oh, who am I kidding? I so am…
Swallowing nervously, he opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Shikamaru's words.

"Babe… Don't freak out, okay? You're not exactly helping here…"

"Ah… Yeah, I'm really sorry about that Cuteness, but you're getting paler by the second here and no offense but, eh… That's not exactly helping me…"

"Huh?" Puzzled, the young man regarded his lover with a quizzical look.

An embarrassed little smile crept across Kakashi's face, "You're saying you want to go down on me, which is… Well, you know, great. But… Eh… Usually that's not exactly the face you want the guy saying stuff like that to be making…"

Shikamaru blinked, looking utterly confused.

"See, eh… I do have some pride left, you know?" Nervously biting his lip, Kakashi tried to get himself back under control.

Suddenly, the Nara chuckled, "Dude! I'm not – Oh my god… Don't tell me you're getting nervous!"

"Eh… I should probably stop talking now, huh?"

An amused smirk on his face, Shikamaru leaned over to place a quick kiss on Kakashi's lips, "Nope," Laying down on his lover's chest, he chuckled lightly, "You could start by telling me what you want. You said you could be very descriptive when you feel the need to, right?"

"Eh… Yes? But eh… I'm not really sure I feel the need to?" Unsure what Shikamaru even wanted from him right now, the silver-haired man swallowed once more.

Chuckling again, Shikamaru pushed himself up on his elbows, his lips all but touching his lover's, "Babe, chill out okay? You should know by now that I never decide to do anything before thinking about it first. I decided I wanted to do this years ago, decided I wanted to do this with you the first time you did it for me. Only then I got all anxious and scared and stupid so nothing happened. But then everything turned out good and…" He pulled a face, suddenly whining, "You're just too good, okay? I can never match up…"

Blinking, he wrapped his arms around the Nara, "You're anxious because you think you won't be good enough?"

Burying his face in the crook of the older man's neck, Shikamaru nodded, "Uhuh…"

"Cuteness…" He chuckled lightly, "You're such a perfectionist, aren't you?"

"So…?"

"Nothing, it's just…" Another light chuckle shook the man, "Cute."

Pulling a face, Shikamaru pushed himself up again before sliding down, placing a few light kisses along the way. Positioning himself between his lover's legs he looked up one more time, "You know the only reason you can call me that is because you're just about the cutest damn thing I ever saw, right?"

Kakashi blinked, pushing himself up on his elbows to deliver some kind of quip – though he had no idea what to say – but instead of words, a low moan escaped him.

Shikamaru smirked, running his tongue up his boyfriend's shaft one more time. A quick glance up taught him that Kakashi was gripping the sheets tight, head fallen back as he moaned again.

Kakashi tried to take a steadying breath, not that it was actually working, but still. Lifting his head, he found Shikamaru looking at him, amusement hidden deep in lust clouded, dark eyes. The Nara smirked at him before dipping his head down again and Kakashi all but shivered as he felt soft lips place light kisses all over.
Was he seriously worried about not being good enough? Damn… I'll never doubt him again…

Okay… Never had my face so close to a dick before… But this is Kakashi, the only person in the world that makes me feel completely safe. Well, apart from Choji, that is.
A sharp pain shot through the young man's heart, but he decided to ignore it for now.

Soon Choji, I'll talk to you soon. Right now, I just… Can't. I'll explain everything in time, and I'll grovel for forgiveness if need be, but right now… I have to keep my distance. Right now, I have something else to think about. Something that's like seriously this close to my face. It's a little weird, doing this… But… He's liking it, isn't he? Sure seems like it. But this is just… Just kisses, not the real thing. And the real thing… Is kind of scary… I don't think I ever realized just how big this actually is… Certainly didn't consider that when I lay awake at night, thinking about all the things I wanted to do but would probably never experience. It was a pretty long list back then, but I've crossed off over half of it by now. In just so little time, I got to experience so much. And it's all because of Kakashi. It's all because he's so fucking amazing – and an amazing fucker, not unimportant.

Almost chuckling, he looked up for a moment. Kakashi was still propped up on his elbows, looking at him with an expression on his face that Shikamaru found a little hard to place. There was pride in there, and pleasure. But most importantly, there was no more anxiety. Somehow, that helped him calm down a little more, and a smirk formed on his face once more. He hesitated for only a brief moment, but then decided to just go for it, gingerly wrapping his lips around his lover's hot flesh.

Gasping, Kakashi felt his head roll back, doing his utmost to keep his hips from bucking. Realizing that even though Shikamaru may have taken a huge step here, he would most likely still not appreciate something like that.
Possibly never. Which would get a little difficult for me but at the same time… He's seriously doing this – and he's actually not half bad…

Focusing mostly on trying to replicate the feeling that his lover always gave him, Shikamaru couldn't hold back a small smirk.
Is he seriously trying to… Yeah, he's holding back. You know, I'd like to say 'no need' but what I'm actually thinking here is more like 'thank god'… Is that bad? No, I imagine that's the exact reason he's trying to keep still. This is… A little daunting to say the least. But… He's definitely liking it…

As he slowly felt himself being pushed to the edge, panting, swearing and trembling, Kakashi allowed his body to fall back to the bed. Unable to maintain the coherency to hold his position on his elbows. Almost instinctively, he placed on hand on top of the Nara's head, gently brushing over dark locks as he moaned in pleasure.

Woah, what? Please don't – But he's not. He's not pushing me or anything, he's… Stroking me. This is actually kind of nice. Like, he's telling me I'm doing a good job, encouraging me to go on. But it's not pushy at all and – Oh my GOD!

Shocked, he blinked.
Eh… Did he just… Eh… Oh god… I kinda… Don't like this… Eh…

Trying to swallow, he attempted to make it go away – and it did, just not fast enough. Feeling awkward and beyond embarrassed, he risked a glance up, only to find Kakashi smiling at him.

Pushing himself back on his elbows, he found Shikamaru looking at him, a little awkwardly. Almost chuckling at the look on his younger lover's face, he brought out a warm smile instead, whispering, "You're amazing, Cuteness…"

He swallowed again, feeling his insecurity down a little. But there was still this awkward feeling of something wet on his chin, and he didn't know whether to wipe it off, or just leave it be. #9
"Cuteness," Smiling a little wider, he cocked his head, "Come here."

Gladly obliging – since he didn't really know what else to do – he rested his body atop the older man's once more, startled as a pink tongue flicked out, gently though expertly cleaning him up. When he was done, Kakashi's lips captured his own and strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him in for a languid kiss.

When they pulled apart, Kakashi smiled again, silently trying to ease his lover's insecurities, realizing very well just how insecure this young man really was.
Even though he wanted to do it, it's still a huge step for him. And even though he's fucking amazing, he only noticed everything that didn't go as smoothly as he'd hoped. Oh Shikamaru, you've got absolutely nothing to feel bad about… Oh god… Please don't think you do, please don't decide this was a once in a lifetime thing?! You're… Awesome!

"Kakashi?" His voice was barely audible, eyes looking away, "That… That was really good for you…?" Swallowing, he buried his face against the older man's chest, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer, not sure if he wanted Kakashi to hear how insecure he felt.

"Absolutely Cuteness. Absolutely un-fucking-mindblowingly-believable."

"So…" Biting his lip, he realized he didn't know how to continue the sentence, not that he didn't know what to say, he just had no idea how.
I want to get better at this, I want to try again, but… I don't know… How to make that clear… And… I think… I really think I need his descriptive side to come out before I try again… At least to tell me what I got right, you know…?

"Cuteness, I'm sorry I made you even more nervous than you already were. I really am. I just… Well, I think I…" An unseen embarrassed smile flashed across Kakashi's face, "You didn't like… Totally hate doing that, right…?"

"No… I think…" Taking a deep breath, the Nara pushed himself up on his hands, "Let's get one thing straight here. If you ever want me to do that again, you're gonna get descriptive. You already freaking promised me you would – well," He interrupted himself, watching Kakashi's eye widen in distress, "Implied at least. I wanna know what you actually want. And I wanna…" Scrunching up his face, he searched for the right word, eventually settling on, "Learn. But right now, Kakashi… I wanna fucking sleep because I'm totally exhausted and I seriously had too many things happen for one day. Oh, and I'm hungry," He smirked at the last statement, drawing a light chuckle out of his lover.

"You're always hungry… Tell you what, you try to stay awake a little longer and I'll go get you a snack okay? And after, we're going to get some sleep. I'm pretty beat too," He winked before gently pushing his boyfriend off his body and slipping out of bed.

Shikamaru looked up at him, smiling wide. As he quickly pulled up his pants and headed for the kitchen, Kakashi was momentarily halted by the voice of the man he loved above all else.

"Kakashi, I love you."

"I love you too, Shikamaru."