AUTHORS NOTE: So… This is another little convo between Shikaku and Tsunade – honestly the two talk way more than what you come across in the main story. They're friends, after all. And they both share in this huge secret that they can't tell anyone else about. The only two people in Konoha that know the truth about Kakashi Hatake's absence from the 'active duty list'. Well, apart from Iruka, Gai and… Shikamaru. Of course the guy's worried about his son, right? Thank you Letsrandom for pointing that little evasive detail out to me ^.~

Thank you Marina for being the Beta of my dreams :D

I will take requests for side notes throughout the main story, if there's a moment you feel like you've missed, let me know in either the reviews of by dropping me a note. I make no promises, but I'll consider every prompt ^.^

XOXOX

Side notes to
Hidden Feelings, Hidden Lives

XOXOX

Addition to Chapter 92; Oh How The Mind May Wonder
Drabble title: I Just Want To Be There For Him

XOXOX

"Tsunade," Shikaku closed the door to the office behind him, "Do you have a moment?"

She looked up with concern in her eyes, something in her friend's voice had alerted her that Shikaku really needed someone to talk to right now, "Of course. Lock the door, my friend. Shizune's probably going to be back soon, but she won't bother us if the door's locked."

A weary smile drifted her way, "I don't want to keep you from your work, Tsunade…" But he turned the lock anyway before walking over to the desk and leaning his body against the side of it, "Do you… Do you think Shikamaru's going to be alright?" He asked her hesitantly, unable to look his friend in the eyes, he stared out the window behind her instead.

"Shikaku…" Turning her chair a little so she could look at him, Tsunade sighed softly, "You're really worried about him, aren't you?"

"He's my son, Tsunade. Of course I worry," He gave her a small smile, "But this whole 'Kakashi business'… Yeah, it only makes me worry more. I can't escape the notion that the guy's dragging him down with him, you know? I realize that they're close and that it's only natural, I know Shikamaru's strong and he won't break so easily, but… I always thought Kakashi'd never break like this either. And Shikamaru…" He sighed, "He's just a kid, you know?"

"I know, he's only fifteen. Even if he's mentally stronger than most of the guys twice his age. He hasn't seen as much yet, hasn't learned how to deal with everything yet. He will though…" She looked out the window for a moment, her voice thoughtful as she continued, "I'm actually pretty sure he's getting a crash course in how to deal with a lot of different things right now…"

Nodding, he finally turned to face her, "That's what worries me, Tsunade. I'm not sure he's even ready for that yet. And…"
And this isn't just his friend, it's his lover. I know it. I just don't have any proof. You know it too, don't you Tsunade? It's just one of those things we don't talk about, but we both know it to be true…

"And what?"

"And… I wish I could be there to guide him in this…" Shikaku sighed. His words were true, on all kinds of different levels.
Guide him in dealing with the stress of dealing with someone who's broken down. Guide him in his first relationship… I want to be there for him, he's my son. For heaven's sake, the boy's my son… And this relationship can't be healthy for him. I can't believe it. I can't believe that Kakashi's really good for him. Not when he's like this, at least.

"Shikaku… Have you ever considered the fact that you might be babying him?" Tsunade's tone was serious, her look probing.

"Excuse me?" He frowned at her, "He's my son, Tsunade!"

"And he's an accomplished shinobi in his own right. A young man, Shikaku. Not just a boy, he's growing up faster than any of us can keep up with, Shika –"

"That's the point, Tsunade! He's growing up too fast!" He turned away from her, hiding the tears that pooled in his eyes, whispering, "He's growing up too fast. He's got to be allowed to be a kid every once in a while…"

"I know I've only known him for a couple of years, and I know I never got to know him well until recently – No wait, I think I still don't know him well. But as far as I can tell, Shikamaru's never really been a kid, Shikaku. You can't tell me he's the kind of guy who'd run around with Kiba and Naruto pulling pranks on their elders. If anything, he'd be the one getting pranked. Shikamaru acts more like an adult than most adults do. And Kakashi's probably the younger of the two, you know that."

She's all but said it now… That they're more than friends. She's almost crossed that invisible line that we drew in the sand. But… Tsunade's right. I just… I miss him, and I worry for him. I would, even if he was officially an adult. I would, even if he wasn't so damned inexperienced. He's my son. Of course I worry. But maybe she's right about me babying him as well…
"Do you really think I'm… Am I being overprotective, Tsunade?" Turning back to her, he regarded the woman with a questioning gaze.

"Maybe a little," She conceded softly, "I'm just glad he hasn't picked up on it yet. Because honestly? I don't think he'd ever forgive you for that. I know that Shikamaru's still young, and he knows it too. And he can sort of live with people checking in with him every now and then, but… I'm pretty sure if he heard you right now… He'd never talk to you again, Shikaku. The brat's too damned stubborn!" Frowning, she slammed her fist on the desk, "I try to be there for the both of them, but he won't let me! I'm only ever allowed to handle Kakashi. Even Iruka's less of a bother!" Panting, Tsunade rose out of her chair, pacing up and down the office like he'd only seen her do when it came to Kakashi.

After just a minute or so, she calmed down again, giving her friend an apologetic smile, "Sorry, I didn't mean to worry you even more, Shikaku… The thing is, though… Of everyone involved, Shikamaru's probably the one that's handling the situation best. The only one that seems to be able to deal with everything Kakashi throws at him."

He slowly closed his eyes, his voice quiet, "And why do you think that is, Tsunade?"

"I know where you're going, Shikaku. But that's not it. He… Understands better. You would too, if Kakashi'd let you. Guy can run circles around me, intellectually. Around Iruka too, and just about everyone else in this village. But not Shikamaru. Not you. He just… Doesn't trust you – No offense…"

"None taken. He's got his reasons," Heaving a deep sigh, Shikaku Nara pushed the tears back, pushed his worries back. He had to, "You'll tell me if Shikamaru's going down, right? He's technically not your responsibility anyway. And… I want to be there for him if and when he finally does need me."

A soft smile spread over Tsunade's face, "I will. If he goes down, I'll let you know. But I wouldn't count on it, Shikaku. So far, he's proven to be stronger and more resilient than I could've ever imagined."

Looking up, Shikaku wore a light frown once again, slight accusation laced his voice, "You're testing him, Tsunade."

"I am. So far it's looking like I'm the fool. He's stronger than anyone I've met, with the exception of present company perhaps."

The commander sighed, "Very well. I'll let you have your fun a little longer," He started walking to the door, unlocking it. But before he turned the handle, Shikaku turned back one more time, "If you take this too far Tsunade, if you hurt either of them with your little test, you're going to be in deep trouble."