Evangeline walked through Angel's square on a warm Sunday afternoon. It had been four weeks, and she still hadn't gotten her life back to normal. She felt the presence of the officer that was assigned to guard her. She tried not to think about the kidnapping or what Natalie was going through, but the whole situation was a constant reminder. The killer had left notes at both her home and office. He was using her to torment John.
Her interactions with John had still been strained. He'd changed his icy demeanor, but it was back to the same routine. He'd kissed her once on a bench not far from where she was standing. He'd said again how sorry he was that she'd even been put in that situation, and his words seemed genuine. They weren't the words she'd wanted to hear. He claimed he was sorry about their breakup as well. When pushed further to open up about his feelings, he'd responded with a kiss. It was like he expected her to fall back into bed with him; forget all the pain between them.
Evangeline found strength that she didn't knew she had. She'd pushed him away. She made it clear that she needed more than the physical pleasure he was willing to offer. She could tell that he was stunned, but she still stood her ground. She wanted to take him back, but she would not settle. She deserved more, and so did their child.
Just as the killer's trail went cold an unexpected visitor came to town. When her sister, Layla, arrived in town, she left a cryptic note under her door. Evangeline assumed it was from the killer and the whole LPD got involved. She felt foolish having wasted everyone's time, but everything had turned out alright.
That same night the killer actually did leave a note under the door of her apartment. Evangeline was terrified. John could tell and insisted that she stay with him. She quickly shot that idea down. She remembered staying with him before, and she didn't want to fall back into a similar routine. She did stay the night on the sofa in John's office but decided she wouldn't be forced from her home.
She'd pushed Layla to go back home until things had been resolved, but her stubborn sister refused to leave. She was a little excited about having her sister stay with her. However, her little sister was terribly nosy. If she wasn't careful, Evangeline knew Layla would find out about her pregnancy and tell their mother. Luckily, Layla had almost immediately taken a liking to Antonio Vega. She tried to explain that he was a lost cause; another man trapped in the Buchanan women's web. Her sister would not listen. Evangeline was just glad that the distraction would keep Layla out of her business.
Not even a week had passed, and the killer was back at it. This time he'd left a note under Evangeline's office door. She'd been there working alone after separating herself from her police escort. John had been livid as Evangeline asserted her independence. She did feel a little guilty. She didn't want to do anything to bait the killer. She definitely wasn't looking to put herself or the baby in harm's way.
Since then, she'd been safe. The killer, or rather killers, hadn't tried to contact her. After a while of thinking, she'd put together that there was more than one. She brought this to Bo's attention instead of John's. She could see that he was a little hurt, but as long as the information got to him she didn't care.
Recently she and John had butted heads, again, over him wanting her to undergo hypnosis. He was convinced that she had some key information locked away in her subconscious. Evangeline realized that he may be right, but she was not willing to take the risk. She was willing to offer any assistance that she could to bring Natalie home, but she wouldn't put herself at risk to do it. She'd spoken with the Phil Jamison and he'd explained the process to her. In the end, she had to decline. She was afraid of what she might blurt out about the pregnancy.
John was frustrated. In his mind, he knew they would get a solid lead from this. He had been more than exhausted. He'd only been sleeping a few hours every couple of days, and his meals had been just about as regular. Bo had made him take only a minimal amount of time off. Natalie was his niece after all. He appreciated John's enthusiasm.
Evangeline hadn't ever wanted to see him in pain. She fought the urge to mother him. Getting involved would only suck her in. Right now, John was living his life and she was living hers. She could only hope that he wouldn't self destruct.
Evangeline walked deeper into the park and past the notorious bench. She smiled as a friend approached, "Nora, hey." Evangeline pulled her into a hug.
"Evangeline, oh my god, I'm so glad to see you." Nora hugged her back tightly. She and Evangeline had become fast friends. They worked on opposite sides of the courtroom, but each respected the other's talents.
"I'm glad to see you too. How are you?" Evangeline pulled away from her and motioned for her to sit with her on the nearby bench. She hadn't seen Nora around much, because Nora had been dealing with her own nightmare.
Nora had fallen in love with her boss, Daniel Colson. He said and did all the right things. He'd been the perfect man, but he lived with a terrible secret. Daniel had only married Nora to hide his sexuality. In reality, he was attracted to men, but he knew it would be a nail in his political coffin in that ever became public knowledge. Nora had been humiliated when Daniel was arrested while being sworn in as lieutenant governor. Daniel had murdered Paul Cramer and her rival's daughter, Jen Rappaport.
She'd withdrawn into isolation, and even Evangeline hadn't been able to do anything to help. They'd drifted apart in that short period of time. Evangeline was glad for a chance to reconnect.
"Me? I'm fine. How are you?" Nora had been on pins and needles when she found out Evangeline was taken. Her personal life had kept her from reaching out to her immediately. She heard that her mother had been in town and that her sister was currently staying with her, so she was glad that she still had a solid support system.
"I'm okay." Evangeline chose honesty. Nora would definitely see through a lie. "It's been a hell of a month." She felt a little sad that she couldn't tell her about the baby, but she'd already made up her mind. John would be the first person that she told.
"I can't imagine. Plus, the killers are still out there, and they've got Natalie." Nora had been painfully aware of the whole situation. Even though she was a relatively new addition to the Buchanan family, Matthew had taken a liking to Natalie. Matthew had been having difficulty with her disappearance on top of everything else. Nora had devoted all of her efforts to making sure he was alright.
"I just pray that she's okay." Evangeline didn't want to think about Natalie. She didn't want to worry, but until she was found the topic would undoubtedly keep coming up.
"Me too, but let's not dwell on that. I want to talk about you. I want to know how you're doing. How's it been with you and," Nora stopped herself from saying the rest. She knew that Evangeline had been dragged into this mess because of John.
Evangeline just shook her head. "There's nothing to report there."
Nora frowned. "You were almost killed." Nora figured that would have been John's cue to open up to Evangeline. One of those epiphany moments where you don't appreciate what you've lost until it's gone.
"Yeah, but John is still John. He's not willing to open up. I've been getting mixed signals." She thought back to the kiss and frowned.
"Mixed signals? Was John ever sending clear ones? I thought that was part of the problem." Nora pushed Evangeline to open up like she had before.
Evangeline didn't know how to explain it. Well, she could but she didn't really want to; not even with Nora. "One minute I'm just another piece to the puzzle, a tool to find Natalie. The next minute he's drunk and he's kissing me." She saw that she'd piqued Nora's interest. "He showed up at my apartment and said that he was ready to open up. He didn't, of course. He kissed me, and I knew that he was just looking for an escape."
"Bo said he's really been pushing his limits. He's not really taking care of himself right now." Nora had genuinely been surprised at Evangeline's strength. Time and time again, she'd seen Bo through difficult times in his life. She wanted to say it was for Matthew's benefit, but she didn't like to lie to herself.
"He's acting like he's solely responsible for what happens to Natalie. Natalie intentionally baited the killer. She did it to play on John's weakness. Her foolishness nearly got us both killed," Evangeline spoke the taboo words.
"But you're alive." Nora grabbed Evangeline's hand and squeezed.
"And I feel so damn guilty." Evangeline started to tear up. "I remember the anesthesia wearing off. I kept trying to move, but I couldn't. I remember the killer starting the fire, and I almost lost it. I saw Natalie at the other end of the room, and I knew I had to be strong for her. I kept my head up and made sure that he smoke I inhaled was kept at a minimum. Then he started the fire around Natalie and she lost it. She panicked and struggled. That's why she almost went into the fire."
"Sweetie, that's not your fault. Why would you feel guilty?"
"Because it should have been me. I should have been just as panicked as she was. I should have been worse off than her." Evangeline dropped her head into her free hand.
"You kept your cool in a stressful situation," Nora interjected. "You are a survivor, Evangeline. You should be proud. I'm glad that you kept your cool. Can you imagine what would have happened if you didn't?"
Evangeline had thought about it. She'd thought about it a dozen times. One of them would have surely died, and she felt a strong sense of dread that it would have been her. Some how she felt like she'd cheated death.
"Don't beat yourself up over this, please." Nora pulled her into another hug and held her. Nora hadn't meant to upset her. She felt guilty for not being more of a friend earlier on. They'd sat on the bench together for a good thirty minutes before Evangeline was able to pull herself together.
"I'm sorry. I'm a complete mess." She wiped away angry tears. She regretted not being able to control her emotions.
"You're a strong woman with great survival instincts. I think you're really well balanced too, Evangeline. Your smart enough to solve your own problems, and you know when you need to ask for help. You're independent. You're educated and," Nora could go on and on, but Evangeline interrupted.
"And you sound like my mother." She laughed softly trying to lighten the mood. Nora was actually old enough to be her mother. Evangeline was close in age to Nora's daughter Rachel.
"I'm serious, Evangeline. John brought you home, but whose strength was it that kept you going?" Nora placed her hand under Evangeline's chin and made her look directly at her.
Evangeline didn't feel like tooting her own horn. She was just as scared as any other person would have been, but she knew enough to keep her wits about her. She'd refused to sit idly by and wait for John to save her. She even came up with a pretty good escape plan. Just about the only thing she hadn't accounted for was a second killer to foil their attempt.
"My daddy always told me that the damsel in distress thing was a white woman's luxury, so I've never thought of being anything other than strong." Evangeline had heard countless stories from her parents and their friends about how they struggled as black youths. They taught her it would be an insult to sit around waiting for the world to give you thought was owed to you when so many people had suffered for equal rights.
Nora nodded because she understood the sentiment. She'd lived through the era of segregation and she remembered hearing stories from her black friends. It never really hit home until she'd married Hank Gannon and they had a biracial child. She was raised upper middle class and there weren't a lot of faces that looked like hers. It pained her greatly to tell her daughter that she would have to be stronger and more tolerant than her peers simply because her skin was darker.
"Times have changed a lot," Nora wouldn't dispute what she was saying. "I think a lot of women need to know that they have their own strength to rely instead of being told that a handsome prince will come along and solve all their problems. I also think a lot of women need to know that they're not alone. So many women are taught about being strong and independent, but they're not taught to ask for help or recognize when they need it. "
Evangeline smiled to hide her discomfort. She listened to Nora's wise words, but she wouldn't abide by them. Sure, it'd be great to have the strength of her friends and family during the pregnancy. She'd made up her mind though, and she wasn't about to change it.
John sat at his desk with his head in his hands. He still didn't have anything more than a hunch. He'd been keeping his eye on Hayes Barber, Marcie's agent, but that guy was slick. He hadn't been able to connect him to the murders or the kidnappings, but he knew he was the guy. He had to be.
Their funding was an issue, as always. He'd wanted round the clock surveillance on Barber, but it wasn't in the budget. He tried diverting manpower, but Bo put a stop to that. Barber's lawyer complained that he was being harassed, and with no evidence they had to back away.
He stared at the files on his desk looking for any clue that he may have missed before. His eyes burned and begged for a break. He hadn't slept in a few of days and he'd been living on two-day old coffee. His body was really starting to get worn down.
"What," he barked at the sound of a knock on his door. He looked up as his brother entered the room. "What can I do for you, Mike?"
Michael looked him over and shook his head. "You look like shit." He slipped his hands into his pants pockets and walked toward John's desk.
John rolled his eyes. He wasn't in the mood for Michael right now. He wasn't in the mood for anything. His body was begging for sleep that it desperately needed.
"Come one." Mike tilted his head toward the door. "Don't give me any crap, John. I tell that you haven't been eating. I can smell that you haven't been home in at least a couple of days. You need a break." He couldn't help but to tease him even though knew it would only piss him off more.
"Alright." John surprised himself when he agreed. He looked down at his watched and did a quick calculation. "We leave now and maybe I can rest a little bit. Just got to be back at six."
Michael didn't argue. He was just glad that John agreed. He looked around John's office while John gathered a few things. Among other things he saw a picture pinned to a large cork board. It was what John called his murder board. All the victims of the Killing Club killer were featured. Michael focused on Hayes and frowned. It was more than just jealousy that made him dislike the guy. He wanted to ask about the case, but he knew John just needed some time away from the case.
After a few minutes, they left together after John locked up his office. They rode in silence for the trip back to the Angel's Square Motel. John didn't even complain when Michael walked him to his room.
"What's all this?" John tossed his jacket in a chair and stared at the to go containers on his coffee table.
"Should be some chicken with rice and broccoli. I also restocked your fridge, sort of. Milk, eggs, bread. Pretty much the basics." Michael plopped down the chair on top of John's jacket and watched John dig in to the food. He knew John probably hadn't seen a healthy meal since this whole kidnapping ordeal had started.
"Thanks." John quickly finished his food and fell back against the sofa cushions. His body was grateful for the rest and the food.
"Mom wouldn't be too happy if she knew I wasn't at least trying." He smiled at John sadly. He hated watching his brother this way.
"Yeah," John unzipped his boots and pulled them off. He looked around his apartment and saw that it had been cleaned. He made a note to buy his brother a beer when this was all over with. "You didn't have to do all this, Mikey." He saw the basket of neatly folded laundry in a chair.
"I just brought the food. Marcie did the cleaning." Michael made sure to give credit where it was due. It had been nice for him to spend time with Marcie while she was away from Hayes.
John nodded and made a note to send Marcie a thank you card. Even through his weariness his detective mind could sense that something was off. He stared intently at the laundry basket. Several dark clothing items were stacked neatly on top of each other. In that sea of darkness, a single pink item stood out from the rest. It was one of Evangeline's night gowns that she'd left at his place. His gratefulness quickly soured at the thought of Mike and Marcie snooping while he wasn't around.
Michael saw that he was focused on something and eventually he too saw the item that was out of place. Marcie had suggested that they get rid of it when they found it mixed in with his laundry. Knowing John would be pissed, Michael convinced her to just pretend like they hadn't seen it.
"So, have you talked to her at all?" Michael decided to break the ice. It was already late, and he didn't want to dance around this sensitive topic.
John's eyes flashed dark and he looked down at the floor. He'd seen her a few times since she'd been released from the hospital. He'd seen her a few times in relation to the case, the other times he'd seen her were personal matters. In his own way, he'd tried to reach out to her. Evangeline was back to her usual self; she'd sent him on his way quickly when he couldn't open up to her.
"Yeah, seems like she's doing alright." John's relationship with Evangeline, or lack thereof, was still a sensitive subject. Talking about her was the last thing he wanted to do right now.
"I'm sure that's what she wants everyone to believe. I mean you should know better right?" Mike felt guilty knowing that he was keeping such a terrible secret from his brother. He couldn't tell him without violating Evangeline's trust, but if he could just get John to get close to her she might open up to him.
John looked at him confused. "Evangeline is maybe one of the toughest people I know. She can handle herself. She's not one to let something keep her down. I don't think she's just pretending, Mikey."
Mike shook his head ready to call him on his bullshit. "I remember pulling that guy off her in the train station. I can still remember that terrified look on her face."
John let out a heavy sigh. He too remembered that event. That was the first time that her being with him had caused her trouble. Only that time he hadn't regretted their connection.
"You told me that she was afraid to be at her own place. She ended up staying with you until you caught that creep. That was some random guy with a chip on his shoulder. Anything could have set him off that day. She just happened to be in the wrong place, but these Killing Club Killers targeted her. They drugged her, kidnapped her, tried to kill her, and even after they fact they continued to harass her at her home and her job. That's not the type of thing you just shake off." Mike tried to reason with him. He was angry that he'd even had to spell it out.
"What do you want me to do, Mike. Play shrink with her?" John snapped already having reached his breaking point. He stood and started to pace. He couldn't focus too hard on Michael or he might just forget that he was family and hit him. "She's been through hell; I know that. She says she's fine and from what I can see she's doing alright. Natalie is out there going through who knows what. That's what I've been focusing all my energy on."
Mike sat back in his chair and chuckled softly. "Okay, I get it." He waited until John looked over at him. "Evangeline's not putting out anymore, so she can pretty much just fuck off." Mike knew that he'd crossed the line, but he was really getting sick of John's crap.
John narrowed his eyes on Mike and, for a second, he imagined himself beating the life out of his only brother. "Leave now, or I will not, let me repeat, not be responsible for what happens next."
"Yeah, I can see I've done a lot of good here." Mike stood and stomped over to the door. He put his hand on the doorknob as if to leave. "I don't understand why you're treating her like less than a stranger. She dumped you. It hurts. I get that, but I remember how good you two were together." He turned and looked back at John. He saw angry tears that threatened to spill down John's face. "You screwed that up John. Get your shit together, John, before you screw up another relationship. There's more to life always being the hero." Mike swung the door opened and slammed it behind him.
John stood for a moment and just stared at the door. He could feel more than just anger and he didn't like that. Normally, he had alcohol to turn to, but he knew the amount of alcohol he needed would make him ineffective at work. He shed his clothes and climbed into bed. He'd shower in the morning, maybe.
He couldn't fall asleep fast enough. Michael's words were haunting him. It wasn't that he didn't care about Evangeline. He tried to reach out to her, and she continued to reject him. He had to avoid her even if it was unkind. She was doing what was best for her, so he would do what was best for him.
He rolled over onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. He let his mind drift to the details of the case playing them back in his mind over and over. In the end, his mind drifted to Evangeline. He could hear her singing as she often did. Her voice soothed him and put his mind at ease. He finally gave in and fell asleep with the hopes that tomorrow would be a better day.
"Yeah?" Evangeline called out to Layla. She looked up and watched as Layla pushed her bedroom door open. "Hey, what's up?"
Layla just shrugged and walked into Evangeline's room. "Nothing. I was just checking up on you. Mom has been nagging ME to keep an eye on you." Layla found it ironic as Evangeline had always been the one looking out for her.
Evangeline smiled at her sister's bluntness. "You can tell mom I'm doing well. I'm just now getting caught up at work.
Layla sat with her on the chaise lounge chair that was in the corner. "I told her that you're fine, but she wants to make sure her legacy is fine."
Evangeline nudged her with her foot playfully. It wasn't the first time she'd joked about Evangeline being the pride of the Williamson family. Evangeline was successful, yes, but now she was about to be an unwed mother. He mother would not be proud.
"So, what, you've given up your dream on being a Hollywood starlet?" Evangeline hadn't always been so supportive of Layla's career choices. That was part of the reason that Layla moved to California. She had constantly lived in Evangeline's shadow always knowing that she'd never outshine her sister if she didn't take a risk.
"I'm keeping my options open." Layla used the words that her mother had always used on her. "Acting is my passion, but I'm good at other things too. For once, I'm acting like my big sister." Evangeline looked at her quizzically. "I'm here in Llanview to take a break. I mean, that's what you're here for right? A break from the life you're meant to live."
"Layla," Evangeline started, "that's not why I'm here." Evangeline had heard that from multiple people. Her mother had worried that she was cracking under the pressure of her career. After a messy breakup with her longtime boyfriend, Dennis Lockhart, Evangeline picked up shop and moved to Llanview.
"Llanview is a small town, but it's there's never a dull moment here." Evangeline had won several high-profile cases during her stay here. She had still maintained her reputation as a force to be reckoned with. She'd turned down partnerships at several reputable law firms, instead choosing the freedom of being her own boss.
"Yeah, this place tends to draw a lot of eccentric people." Layla had gotten the full story of Evangeline's kidnapping first hand. She, like her mother, was not as kind as Evangeline. She'd gotten on to Evangeline several time for sympathizing for Natalie. As far as she was concerned, Natalie had gotten exactly what she deserved.
Evangeline chose not to comment on that. She didn't want to get into another discussion about the Killing Club Killers. She wanted this whole mess to be over with.
Layla picked up on Evangeline's silence and knew it was time to change the subject. She picked up one of the papers that was strewn on the floor and looked it over. "You're kidding right?" Layla held up the brochure for Evangeline to see. "You planning on settling down here?"
Evangeline knew it was better to let Layla find out about it now. There were only so many secrets that she could keep. "I plan on buying a house here, yes? I've already been here for longer than I'd expected, and I don't think I want to leave anytime soon. The market is really good, and my financial analyst said that it's a great market for buyers. If I play my cards right, I'll get a nice return on my investment."
"If this is about rent, I can totally pay you. I'm not trying to be a leech." Layla felt a little bad for mooching off her sister. Evangeline had sent her money more than a few times when she'd been in a bind. "God, I'm so selfish. I didn't even think about how tight things would be since you missed some work."
"No, no. This isn't about money at all. Save your money, so you can get a place. You are welcome to continue staying with me for as long as you need to, or you can get your own place. This isn't a subtle hint. I'd been thinking about buying for a while." Her last statement had been a lie that Layla didn't catch.
"So, you and John were that serious?" Layla was suddenly channeling her mother. "I thought he couldn't say he loved you."
Evangeline rolled her eyes. "I was thinking about buying because I think it's the right choice for me at this point in my life." Evangeline would not get into a discussion about John; at least not with Layla. Layla hated John on principle. She'd met him once when she first came to town, and he'd not made a good impression then either.
"Alright, alright." Layla decided to give in sensing that there wasn't anything interesting there to press her about. "In spite of everything that's happened, you still really have your life together. I'm jealous."
"Don't be. I'm not perfect; no one is." Evangeline slid past Layla and stood up. She walked to her bed and sat down on it. She stared down at the floor. She felt bad having to keep this secret from the people she loved.
"I know that, silly. I'm just saying that you're probably as close as someone can get." Layla noticed that she looked a little down. She figured it had something to do with her sister ending another failed relationship. Layla knew from experience that love was tricky. That wasn't something you could hold against someone.
"I've made mistakes. I will make more. I'm only human." Evangeline fell back against the mattress and stared up at the ceiling. She thought of being a mother and it terrified her. She knew there would be lots of obstacles along the way. She only hoped that she would stay grounded and always remember to do what was best for her child. She thought of John and wondered if he could do the same.
"Smart, beautiful, loving and humble. Any man would be lucky to have you." Layla went over and lay down beside Evangeline. She watched as Evangeline turned away from her trying to hide her tears. "That asshole doesn't deserve your tears."
Evangeline cried silently thinking on how screwed up things were. Even know part of her wanted to be with him. For a time, she was willing to look past John's baggage, but now he didn't want anything to do with her; unless it was sex. She would not give him her body if he would not give her his heart. Now she'd have a permanent reminder of their failed relationship. She would not hold the sins of the father against her child. She would love her child and in time the hurt would fade.