My eyes widened in horror. You could see the lights switching on in dozens, hundreds of the spiders' eyes. They all knew me, knew who I was. Their expressions changed, they primed to leap. There was no time to react. Even my reflexes wouldn't let me escape. As one, they pounced, all of them bellowing the same horrible cry.

"ANDO-KUN!"

"GAH!" I cried as I was buried underneath dozens of little spiders, all gripping onto me, jumping on me, and staring at me with inquisitive, happy eyes as they babbled and shouted happily.

"We missed you!"

"Where have you been?"

"Did you bring me a present?"

"I want some candy!"

"Check his pockets!"

"Kisses!"

Even under this onslaught of arachnid affection, I kept my wits about me. I slipped several brightly colored, rubber balloons out of my sleeves, and managed to bring my fingers together long enough for the Wind Bullet Jutsu. An application of webbing later, and I had dozens of balloons flying away from me, which served as the perfect distraction.

"BALLOO~OONS!" The spiders cried, and cheered happily as they leaped after them. They all were quickly distracted as they playfully fought over who got to keep the prized souvenirs. I groaned and sat up, rubbing my face.

"Awwww...! I wanna balloon too!" Ringumo whined.

"I gave you a ball, what more could you want?" I asked. Ringumo still pouted. I glanced over at my students. Physically, they were all fine. The spiders hadn't dogpiled... Spider-piled? … Leapt all over them.

Emotionally? Hmm.

"Sp-spiders. Spiders... everywhere!" Sasuke mumbled, eyes frozen wide in horror. Naruto, after seeing the spiders glomp onto me, looked excited. Sakura had the air of one who is trying very hard not to break down screaming. Like a tough chick in a horror movie.

"Ah, Sensei? Where are we, anyway?" Naruto asked.

"The Spider Plane," I explained. "I was coming here because Jorougumo wanted to see me."

"Yes, she does, Andoryuu-sama!" Briskly reported one spider. I immediately identified him as an adult Jorou Spider. Being male, he was quite a bit smaller than the females. Being a summon, however, he was about the size of the orb weaver males in Eight Legged Freaks. They were mostly employed as servants and guards within the palace proper. "Please, come with me!"

"Are these sacrifices for Jorougumo-sama, Andoryuu-sama?" Asked another Jorou male, turning his eight eyes to my students. Naruto scowled.

"Hey! We're not sacrifices! We're his students!"

"Yes, they're my students," I confirmed. "Strictly off limits."

"Of course, Andoryuu-sama," the guard said. He switched to Spidertongue.

"Though if I were you, Andoryuu-sama, I might consider handing over one of them to Jorougumo-sama."

I winced. "She's that upset huh?"

"Oh yes, Andoryuu-sama," the male replied. I rose to my feet, and looked over at the hundreds of baby spiders playing with the balloons I'd left them.

"You kids have fun, and stay out of trouble, and after I talk to your mom, I'll show you some even better things I brought you!" I spoke. The spiders, as one, cheered loudly and did the exactly opposite of what I had wanted them to do. They dogpiled me again.

"GAAAHH!"

"WE LOVE YOU, ANDO-KUN!" They shouted.

"I love you kids too, now get off!" I shouted.

"Wow... You're like a celebrity here," Naruto said with a grin as I managed to get my admirers off me. "By the way, what did you talk about with the guard?"

"Dinner arrangements," I said with a mischievous grin. Sakura swallowed hard, but Naruto grinned happily.

"Dinner? Great! What're we having?"

"Not us, right?" Sakura asked. I smiled, and gestured for them to follow me, as I followed the two guards towards a tunnel entrance.

"That remains to be seen," I said. Naruto stared for a second, before he laughed.

"Hahahaha! That's a good one, Sensei!"

"Yes, it is, isn't it?" I said, still keeping up that gallows humor smile. Sakura shuddered, and tugged Sasuke along behind her. Poor kid was still in shock.

It was probably only going to get worse from here...

"Spiders, spiders... everywhere," he muttered again, then whimpered.

"Yes Sasuke, very good," I sighed, as we were led to the lair of Jorougumo.

••••••••••

Sakura

••••••••••

It's so hard to be angry at Ringumo. I mean, sure, she just got us teleported into a dimension filled to the brim with giant spiders, the same one our sensei spent at least a year in, but she's such a child that it's difficult to be cross with her.

There she was, innocently chewing on her ball on sensei's shoulder as we traversed the tunnel of golden silk to the chamber of Jorougumo. The spider Boss.

I had heard a few things about her from Ringumo and Kokubogumo, but nothing from Andoryuu-sensei. That seemed a bit ominous to me. He was smiling of course, but with him, that could mean we're going out for ice cream, or we were all about to suffer horribly.

Still, he hadn't smiled even once when we were going to see his old sensei, so... maybe this wouldn't be too bad?

The tunnel abruptly changed elevation, almost becoming a sheer ascent. It wasn't a problem for any of us though, thanks to our tree climbing training. I hoped we wouldn't have to cross any rivers though, I still couldn't water-walk very well, and Naruto and Sasuke could barely do it at all. The spiders scampered up the vertical path with no effort at all, we humans scrambling up after with only a little more difficulty.

Soon we came out into open air, and I gasped a bit at the view. I knew we were in a gigantic tree of some sort, but I had no idea how big. The clouds looked very close, the air felt thinner. And for miles in every direction were trees that seemed as big as mountains.

"This way," one of the 'little' spider guards called, as he and his partner scuttled off for a large, pointed-cone shaped structure. Like everything else, it was built of golden silk and wood, a natural part of the tree. In the sun overhead it sparkled and glowed, a shining beacon that you could probably see for miles. Above it, vast webs were suspended between poles, and I grimaced as I saw hundreds, if not thousands of giant insects trapped in them.

"Wow," Naruto breathed, as we entered the large structure. Inside, it was very neat and tidy. More of the smaller male spiders were seen, crawling this way and that, cleaning the webbing of any dirt or debris. Larger females could occasionally be seen as well, scurrying hither and yon. We passed through a few courtyards, built on platforms made of wood, that housed very large flowers and other assorted plants.

"Wow... What's all this? I thought spiders just eat meat?" Naruto asked.

"They also ingest pollen, honey, seeds, fungus, other things," Andoryuu-sensei explained. "Depends on the species too, of course. Luckily for me, the Jorou have a relatively omnivorous diet. They're very fond of sweets, particularly in liquid form."

"So, are there like, giant bees here too?" Naruto asked. Our sensei nodded.

"Yep, a few hives actually work for the Jorou Clan."

"Then why is this called the Spider Plane?" Naruto asked.

"Well, first of all, that's our name for this place. And we call it that because this is where the spiders rule," our sensei answered. He shrugged. "They control it, so it's theirs, essentially. Most summons refer to our home as the Human Plane, but there's plenty of other plants and animals there. It's just, we're the most interesting thing going on."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense," Naruto nodded.

"Now, a few things to warn you about," our sensei changed subjects, as we crossed a bridge over what looked like a fungus garden, "bow to Jorougumo-sama, and be very polite. Best behavior, all of you. She doesn't tolerate familiarity unless she likes you. And unlike the Hokage, if she gets mad, she might eat you."

"That means don't be annoying, Naruto," I explained to Naruto.

He snorted, "I'm not annoying!"

"And no bickering," Andoryuu-sensei said flatly, giving us all serious looks. I nodded, resisting the urge to snap at Naruto. Well, at least Sasuke-kun would be polite. Probably? He still seemed to be in shock, muttering to himself about spiders.

"Here we are," one of the guards said, as we passed through a wooden arch into a large, well ventilated chamber. I could feel a strong breeze from below, and looked down. I immediately wished I hadn't.

"O-oh my," I stammered.

"Woah… cool! You can see all the way to the ground!" Naruto, of course.

The structure had been built around the trunk of the tree, leaving a very large gap between it and the trunk. And the branches of the giant tree had grown in such a way that you could see all the way down to the ground.

I shivered, and looked ahead. If I fell, my life wouldn't flash before my eyes so much as take a leisurely stroll, confident that it had plenty of time. The trunk of the massive tree was split directly ahead of us like an upside-down arch, and within it was a flat web. In the center of the web, illuminated by a spotlight of sunshine, sat a woman, reclining on the silk as regal as a queen.

She was beautiful, and very tall from what I could see. Her long legs were visible from underneath her yellow and black kimono. Said kimono was short and cut tight and low, exposing a very healthy figure which was making even me blush. Her hair was long, brown and wavy, and done up in a loose pony tail on the top of the back of her head. On her cheeks, she bore black markings very similar to those on Ringumo's back.

Definitely Jurougumo.

A bridge of golden silk was extended, and we walked across it. I resolutely kept my eyes forward, wanting to avoid the sensation of vertigo. I wasn't afraid of heights but anyone would get a little nervous, being in a tree the size of a mountain and the only thing keeping you from falling is a thin bridge of spider silk. Sure, it's really strong, but it's still pretty nerve-wracking!

We reached the web, our two guides taking up what I assumed were respectful distances on either side of the web. Our sensei walked out onto the web, stopping about three meters away from Jorougumo. He then dropped to his knees and bowed. We followed suit, and I made sure to keep Naruto and Sasuke behind sensei. I figured only he would be allowed so close, kind of like how emperors entertained guests.

*click glack huck nck chchchuk*, our sensei said in that weird spider-tongue. I had no idea what he said, but fortunately Ringumo provided a quiet translation. She'd slipped off Sensei's shoulder onto mine.

"Ando-kun says he is honored to be summoned before Mommy, and he apologizes for the time it took to arrive," she said. "He also says he is sorry for taking so long to meet her after being given official control of the Spider Summoning Contract."

"What's Jorougumo saying?" Naruto muttered.

"Nothing, yet," Ringumo said. Naruto blinked.

"Oh." At my look, he scowled.

"A little hard to tell...!"

Jorougumo looked uninterested, if anything, and wasn't even looking at our sensei. He said a few more things in the Spidertongue.

"He reaffirms his loyalty to her, and his thanks to her for everything she has done for him," Ringumo translated, "and he is proud to serve her as Sage of the Spiders. He asks forgiveness."

Jorougumo finally looked at our sensei, and her look could only be described as... Gooey. This was a split second before she was hugging him tightly. Our sensei's eyes bugged out rather comically.

"Oh, Ando-kun, I could never stay mad at you," Jorougumo cooed happily, probably quite deliberately shoving our sensei's face into her chest. I certainly would if I had a chest like that… Not to sensei of course, but...

"Mmph!" Our sensei intelligently responded.

Sasuke-kun seemed to snap out of his shock, and blinked a couple of times at the display. Naruto, of course, couldn't hold back a snicker. I blinked and looked over at Ringumo.

"I'm so happy Mommy isn't mad at Ando-kun," the little spider said cheerfully. "I bet she'll grow to like all three of you just as much as she likes him!"

Sasuke's eyes grew, and he blushed. Naruto's cheeks were also red. The two boys looked at me.

"Sakura-chan? Are you blushing?" Naruto asked. I looked away.

"N-No!"

Sasuke stared for a few moments, before he snorted and looked back at our sensei and Jorougumo.

I scowled. "What?"

"Nothing," he grunted.

"Not that surprising, what with Ino..." Naruto whispered. Sasuke nodded.

I checked that no one was looking, and hit them both over the head. Whatever they were implying, they were totally wrong about it!

••••••••••

Andoryu

••••••••••

"Now, as to the reasons you have been summoned, I have three," Jorougumo spoke. She had not removed her arms from me. Now normally, I would have no complaints about being hugged by a beautiful and... gifted woman. But as I've previously alluded to, her being a spider complicated things, and fear was just as strong as any amorous feelings I might be experiencing.

"Er, yes Jorougumo-sama?" I asked. The Spider Queen (I found the term "Boss" gauche on the whole, except for possibly Gamabunta, who fit the title well) smiled.

"The first involves the Mizugumo Clan... They have been acting up again. Not enough to violate the treaty, but they demand that the Spider Sage recognize them, show them 'the proper honor'."

I nodded. "Right, I'll do that."

"The second reason also concerns the Mizugumo," she spoke, tightening her grip. I deftly avoided motorboarding her cleavage, but my chin was trapped between her breasts. She looked into my face with a warm, loving smile.

"Ah... Yes?"

"They have taken a clan of spiders under another summoner under their protection," she spoke. "Something we do not appreciate, as you can imagine."

"Ah. Yes Jorougumo-sama, I completely understand," I said.

"And finally," she said gravely, eyes narrowing, "the most important of all..."

I tensed. What could it be?

Her large eyes filled with tears, and she glomped me even more tightly, to the point I was having trouble breathing.

"You have not visited me in so long! I missed you, Ando-kun~!"

"GLURK!" I managed, waving my hands rather ineffectually as I was in danger of being smothered again. Sure, many guys would kill for such an opportunity, but then not many guys had the spider instinct of fear regarding females.

In Jorougumo's case it was a fear she'd richly earned. Oh, don't get me wrong, she wasn't a bad person, er, spider, but... Well... There are some things about spiders that humans just won't ever be comfortable with.

"MMPH! GMPH!"

Speaking of comfort...

"Mm? Oh, sorry Ando-kun," the Spider Queen said, loosening her grip. I sucked in a double lungful of air, and nodded.

"It-it's okay..."

"I just so enjoy the human form," she purred. "It's so very... sensitive~!"

"Ahhh... y-yeah, um, it's great," I stuttered. I ducked out of her grasp and got a little distance. Jorougumo pouted.

"Ando-kun, there's no need to be shy," she said. "Are we not friends?"

"We are, Jorougumo-sama," I replied. "But uh... I wanted to introduce you to my students!"

My students who seemed to all be alternatively disgusted or amused at the situation. Oh yes, they'd pay.

"Mou?" Jorougumo asked, turning her eyes to Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke. "You have taken on apprentices?"

"Um, not exactly apprentices," I said. "Perhaps in time." I motioned for them to introduce themselves. Sakura caught on the fastest, and she rose with a smile.

"Hello, Jorougumo-sama, I am Sakura Haruno. It's a pleasure to meet you," she said, much like you would greet your father's boss. Naruto stood up as well.

"Naruto Uzumaki! It's a pleasure to meet you!" He repeated. Sasuke rose, and gave a polite nod.

"Sasuke Uchiha. A pleasure."

Jorougumo looked them all over for a bit, before smiling widely.

"Welcome to my home," she said. "I am very pleased that Ando-kun has been given charges to train at last. I understand it is a great honor for a ninja to have students?"

"Yes, we're very honored," Sakura said. Smart girl!

"He's taught us a lot, but he's kind of weird," Naruto opined.

"He's... all right," Sasuke said after a pause.

... Could have been worse. I'd take it.

"Splendid! So, which of them will be your apprentice?" Jorougumo asked.

I thought for a moment. Naruto kind of needed to be with the toads, and Sakura with the slugs. I didn't really want Sasuke to have anything to do with the snakes, but he still couldn't stand spiders. Nothing's ever easy. "They just became my students. I haven't really decided yet... Plus, it's a little early to be thinking about it anyway."

"You were not that much older when you learned our ways, Ando-kun," Jorougumo reminded me.

I coughed. "Yes, but I was still older. Also, those were... special circumstances," I reminded her back. Sakura flinched, probably remembering our meeting with my sensei.

"Nevertheless... Aha! I have the perfect solution!" She said cheerfully. "You will instruct all of them in our arts, and see which one has the greatest aptitude for them."

"Ah, well..." Jorougumo's look would brook no argument, and in all honesty, I didn't have any real reason to deny her. Not without explaining how I knew the future from reading comic books in an alternate world before waking up here.

Granted, summons were one of the few groups likely to believe such a thing, seeing as their daily commute was trans-dimensional, but I didn't want to open that can of worms without a really good reason.

"Of course, Jorougumo-sama. Just remember how long it took me. I have to teach them the official curriculum as well."

She rolled her eyes, but seemed mollified. "Fine then," she purred. "Now, Rin-chan, take our guests to your room and entertain them. I have... many things to discuss with Ando-kun," she said with a wicked smile. I plastered a grin on mine as well, despite feeling rather nervous.

"Okay Mommy! Come on, I wanna show you my room! It's great! I decorated it myself!" Ringumo babbled happily as she scuttled off the web. My students shot me pitying looks, which I accepted stoically. They headed out over the silk bridge, leaving me with the Spider Queen.

"Well Ando-kun... I would like you to start by telling me what you have been up to," Jorougumo said, sitting down in the center of the web. She snapped her fingers, and several males appeared, carrying various containers of food. "We have so much catching up to do!" She said with a broad smile.

"Yes Jorougumo-sama," I said, sitting down in front of her. I took one of the offered containers, and sniffed it. It was a spider drink, a kind of warm, fermented honey. Not dissimilar to mead, actually. Tasted pretty good too. But memories of my recent trip to the bar had me thinking I'd prefer not to be inebriated around Jorougumo. She had a tendency to get... grabby.

In both forms.

••••••••••

Sasuke

••••••••••

I've never been fond of spiders. Now, I hate spiders. No sane individual would love them after being what I've been through, what I've seen. Which is why I am fully convinced our sensei, and my teammates, are all completely, one hundred percent, insane.

They're spiders, why would you trust them? I could work with them, I suppose, especially if they can give me power, but I will never be comfortable around them. Especially Ringumo.

The little monster was leading us through the tunnels of the vast spider... palace? I suppose. To her room.

No doubt decorated with the bodies of numerous victims. Even if they are merely insects I will be disturbed, she sees us the same way. She's practically admitted as much. How else are you supposed to take being told "You look and smell delicious!"

"There's Ren-chan's room, and Tan-chan's room, and Go-chan's room, and Hun-chan's room," she was rattling off, pointing at variously-shaped web constructs we passed. We were descending through the vast tree towards the eastern part of it, still quite high up but lower than the 'throne room' up top. "And here's my room!"

"It's... spherical," Sakura stated. I rolled my eyes, nobody was paying me attention. Leave it to her to point out the obvious. I suppose I didn't have any brilliant commentary either though.

"Yes, it's the bestest shape ever!" Ringumo said happily. She crawled up a silk line to a hole in the side of her "room", which was situated on the top of the branch. Sunlight shone down on it, giving it an aesthetic effect that I will admit, was not entirely unmoving.

But they were still spiders. Spiders!

"Let's go!" Naruto shouted, hopping up to the hole and slipping in. Sakura looked at me, shrugged, and followed. I sighed, and leaped up after them.

The interior was... not the horrific den of death and decay I had been assuming. It was simple and clean, with what appeared to be a kind of hammock which I presumed was for sleeping, and even some shelves that ringed the walls of the sphere.

And there were balls everywhere. Literally.

"Woah... She really likes balls," Naruto muttered. Ringumo jumped up to one shelf and smiled at us.

"It's my collection! My nee-chans and nii-chans and Ando-kun all give me balls from anywhere they go!" She held up a baseball.

"This is a baseball," she said. She put it down, and jumped to another shelf. "And this is a bowling ball! This is a cricket ball, though it has nothing to do with crickets. Oh well! Ooh! Ooh! And this is a rock that's shaped like a ball!"

I looked over at my teammates. Sakura looked as though she thought this was cute. Naruto walked over to a shelf and, God help us all, asked a question about a particularly large black, solid-looking ball held together with webbing.

"What's this one?"

"Ooh, that's my egg!" Ringumo said, scuttling over and very carefully picking it up. She held it out to us. "Wanna touch it?"

"Sure Rin-chan," Sakura said, reaching out to very lightly touch the sphere. I just glared as she held it out to me. She did the spider equivalent of a shrug, and held it out to Naruto. Naruto, big idiot he is, picked it up and studied it.

"Wow... You came out of this?" Naruto asked. Ringumo nodded.

"Uh huh! I was really little when I came out of it!"

"You're really little now," Naruto pointed out with a grin. Ringumo huffed.

"I'm not really this size..."

"Huh? Then how big are you, really?"

We got our answer when Ringumo suddenly expanded in size. My first (unfortunate) meeting with the little monster, she was a little bigger than a dinner plate, about the size of a person's head. She had grown a bit to move around the palace, to the size of a small dog, but I'd barely noticed it.

Her true size, apparently, made her four feet tall and significantly bigger. Sakura jumped. Good. I… may have as well.

"Woah... So that's why you go around little?" Naruto asked. Ringumo nodded, before shrinking back to dog size.

"That and I like riding on Ando-kun's head, or shoulder," she said cheerfully. "I love him! He was the first thing I ever saw, you know! And he gave me my egg!" She picked it up again and cuddled it.

"You must really like him then, huh?" Sakura said.

"He was the first thing you ever saw?" Naruto asked. "You mean, he was there when you were born?"

"Uh huh! He saved me and my brothers and sisters from being eaten! And he took us home to Mommy! That's how he met Mommy, by the way."

Ah. So clearly, he was insane from an early age. Then again, being cast into this world, getting allies of any kind would help you survive. Understandable, I suppose. Assuming you weren't strong enough to fight for yourself.

I know what he had said, the story of this Batman... And his logic concerning the need for teachers and teammates against stronger enemies was sound. I needed teachers. Working together in a team though... He hadn't needed one. He was too powerful for that. Maybe striking him down with others would get the job done, but I would prove myself less than him. Less powerful, less determined...

"Sasuke?"

I looked down at Ringumo. She was holding a bright red rubber ball.

"I wanna give you this!" Ringumo said cheerfully.

I blinked. "Why?"

"Cause balls always cheer me up, and you look depressed! So, have a ball!" She said, pushing it towards me.

"... I don't want it," I said. The spider, God help me, actually looked sad. Her size changing had apparently also emphasized the size of her eyes... Well, two of them. They actually had irises, big yellow ones.

"... Are you tearing up? How can you do that?" I asked flatly.

"Oh! I make myself more human like that because I like it," the little spider responded. "In fact, I can make myself totally human if I want to!"

"Totally human? A complete transformation?" Sakura asked.

Naruto shrugged. "So what? I can do that!"

"Your stupid Sexy Jutsu doesn't count!" Sakura snarled. She looked over at Ringumo. "You can become totally human?"

"Oh yes! Most of us Jorou spiders can! I just need blood," she said. I blinked.

"Blood?"

"Yeah. Blood, skin, hair, bone, anything from a living creature, and we can turn into it," Ringumo said. "It's different from regular transformations in that we can maintain the form as long as we want to."

"So, you guys turn into humans...?" Sakura looked sick. I felt completely vindicated. And sick.

"Oh, don't worry! We only need a little, like a drop," Ringumo said. "We don't hurt anyone."

"So, you travel into the human world for our blood?" Sakura asked. Ringumo nodded.

"Yup! We each want our own unique form, so we collect blood from people with features we like and mix and match their features!"

"Why humans though?" Naruto asked.

"Well, we use other forms as well. But humans are great! You're so sensitive and warm and it feels great to take baths as humans!" Ringumo smiled... then look depressed.

"But I haven't been able to get enough blood to make my own special human form yet," she sighed.

"Why not?" Naruto asked.

"It's tasty. I keep eating it."

We all stared, sharing in the horror. I gave my teammates a look. I think this completely justifies all of my dislike of the spider clan. Ringumo looked confused.

"What? You are! You should be happy! Honey bees don't taste anywhere as good, even though all they eat is honey! But you guys taste really yummy!"

"Well, er... thanks, I guess?" Naruto said. "So, you don't have enough blood for it? How many samples do you need?"

"I need at least four samples. I already have one..." She looked speculatively at all of us. I immediately shook my head.

"No."

"Oh, please, please, please?" Ringumo begged. "I wanna be human, please? Please? Please? Please?"

To my shock, it was Naruto who looked over at us and shrugged. "Well... I wouldn't mind."

"Naruto?" Sakura asked. Naruto shrugged and grinned.

"Hey, would you want to go around in armor all the time?" He asked. Sakura frowned.

"Well..."

"I promise I'd never ever ever turn into any one of you without your permission, I promise!" Ringumo said. Sakura actually seemed to consider it.

"No," I said again. "You're not getting any of my blood."

"Don't be such a bastard, Sasuke!" Naruto growled.

"Don't be such an idiot, Deadlast," I snorted. "You're really going to let her turn into you?"

"Why not? Ninjas turn into other people all the time!" Naruto argued defensively. "How's this any different?"

"Plus... she is asking," Sakura pointed out. My teammates looked at me, Naruto glaring, Sakura looking reproachful. And Ringumo's eyes were big and cute and teary.

... God damn it, I actually felt pity for this little monster.

That, and she'd probably bother me about it until I gave in. I'd seen her following our sensei around begging for various things until she got them. He appeased her by throwing her a bone (well, a ball, technically) or giving her sweets.

She was such a child. Try as I might, I can't really hate children.

I don't think I want to, to be honest.

"... Fine," I muttered, and cut a bit of my hair off with a kunai. "I like my blood where it is though."

Ringumo squealed happily, and tossed me her ball.

"Have it!"

"Keep it," I muttered, tossing it on a shelf. Ringumo scuttled over, and took my hair. She then went to Sakura and Naruto, very lightly pricking their fingers with her fang. Whatever. I don't think she had told them how tasty she thought they looked very often. Sakura winced a little, which was nothing new. Naruto took it bravely, only twitching a little.

Okay, maybe he does have some courage.

"Okay!" Ringumo said cheerfully, having gathered her trophies. Her body... changed. Rather than a poof of smoke as I'd been expecting, she grew in size and changed colors. Her extra legs and eyes vanished, her body shifted into the more recognizable proportions of a human...

A human female.

A naked human female.

"Hwah?!" Naruto cried, eyes bugging out. I swallowed heavily. I've seen breasts a few times, nursing mothers and such, but context is impor-… what was I thinking about?

Wow.

Ringumo smiled, wearing the form of Hinata Hyuuga.

"H-Hinata? She gave you blood?" Naruto managed. She nodded happily.

"Uh huh! I just asked! She's very nice! Now, let's see..." Ringumo's borrowed body changed quickly. Her hair shifted through several colors, before Ringumo settled on a kind of strawberry blonde. Her face took on some of my features, though her skin tone was definitely Naruto's. From Sakura, she took her eye color and a bit of her height.

Had my trousers shrunk in the last minute? Oh. Nevermind.

"How do I look?" She turned around, showing her back and ass off.

"H-Hey, cover up Ringumo!" Sakura cried, finally getting over her shock. "Humans don't go around naked!"

"Huh? Oh, right. Clothes," Ringumo said, rolling her eyes. She gained clothing through a genjutsu, simple blue shorts and a black shirt. She grinned broadly.

"Better?"

"Uh, great!" Naruto managed.

"Yeah," Sakura replied, blushing a bit herself. I knew she was a pervert. All that rivalry with Ino made a lot more sense now...

"It's fine," I muttered.

Ringumo smiled, and hugged Naruto and Sakura. "Awww... Thank you so much, you guys!" She cried. They froze stiff, before she let go and grabbed me.

"!" Her clothing was a genjutsu. I probably looked as stunned as my teammates.

"This has been such a great day!"

"Yeah…" Naruto agreed, a goofy smile on his face.

"Let's go to the baths! I wanna try this body out!" She finally let go of me and leaped through the hole in the wall. "Last one in is a mosquito larvae!"

"Do you think we should follow her?" Naruto asked. Sakura groaned, and shot off after her.

"Without her, I don't think we'll be able to get around!" She called over her shoulder. Naruto and I were left alone. He looked at me, and I looked back.

"What?"

"Uh, well..." He shrugged. "Just... you know. Hinata's really, uh..."

I stared at him, then nodded. "Yeah she is. She likes you. Don't ruin it."

Don't say I never do anything nice.

"C'mon, I'm not getting lost in this crazy place with you," I grumbled, jumping out.

"HEY! I'm not getting lost with YOU!" Naruto shouted back, as he quickly caught up.