Andoryu
••••••••••
Combat, like music, requires rhythm. Good rhythm lets you provide a foundation for melody and to maintain harmony with other musicians. Being a musician myself I understood this need. My Other, being a trained ninja, also understood this.
Block, kick, punch, drop and sweep, deflect, punch, dodge. It all flowed together between myself and Jorougumo. Fighting on a web wasn't an issue-I knew how to fight anywhere, thanks largely due to this woman here.
Every strike I made, she blocked or dodged. Every attack she made, I managed to dodge... right up until she blurred and slammed a flat palm into my stomach.
I relaxed my muscles as trained and snapped a kick up at her face. She dodged, and the world hyper-focused as I blurred as well, trying to punch her face. She tilted her head just out of reach, and my fist had to snap back to avoid being caught in her grip.
"Very good," Jorougumo complimented. "I only hit you once at this level. You've improved." She smiled, the serenity of a master of her art shining through. "You move very well."
"Thank you, Jorougumo-sama," I replied, controlling my breathing carefully. "You are a good teacher."
Her serenity vanished as she blushed and then leaped at me.
"GAH!"
"Oh Ando-kun, you say the nicest things!" She said, glomping me happily. I groaned.
Jorougumo has mood swings like most people have facial expressions, my Other's memories calmly pointed out. Then again, he didn't know how to predict her either, so I was just as good as myself... or bad?
In any event, I managed to free myself again, as Jorougumo giggled.
"Ah, I have missed sparring with you," Jorougumo sighed. She smiled wickedly. "Especially practicing grappling and holds~"
"Er, yes, that was... most informative," I managed, backing away. Jorougumo moved closer.
"But really, such activities are merely the action of a master and her beloved student."
"Ah, you are my beloved teacher though," I pointed out, scooting backwards more. I tried not to convey fear. That just seemed to excite her more.
How convenient: male spiders fear females but cannot help but be drawn to them, and female spiders love fear. Of course it works that way in some humans as well…
Oh goddamit, Anko!
"Oh, but you have not visited me in so long!" Jorougumo pouted. First the calm sensei, then the wanton woman, and now, she looked like a sulky girl. It was a wonder my Other didn't get whiplash dealing with her.
Oh, right, he and I both kind of liked crazy women. Geez, why couldn't he have been into mousy girls? Then at least one part of us wouldn't be reacting...
"Well, I have been very busy..."
"You always have time for Rin-chan and her brothers and sisters," Jorougumo huffed.
"Ah, well, I don't think you'd appreciate me summoning you just to torment lowlifes, Jorougumo-sama," I said carefully, "you are far too important to trifle with that."
She raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yes, really..."
She blurred and we were suddenly nose to nose.
"But that means more time with you, Ando-kun... I could tolerate anything for you," she said with a bit of a sexy whine.
I coughed. "Ah... Then I'd have to explain to the Hokage why I was summoning my Boss summon frequently..." Her arms were threatening to wrap around me again. It was very, very fortunate that one of the first things the spiders taught me was how to move very fast in a crouch.
"Umph!" She grunted as she missed me again. She pouted at me.
"I'm sure I could explain it to him for you. Or… you could resolve all your problems quite easily, you know," she said.
"Jorougumo-sama, er, I don't think you should move in with me," I said quickly. "URK!" She tackled and glomped me. Oh, right, she had how many years more experience with their techniques than me again?
She was just playing with me. As usual.
"Well, we could always get married, you know," she said cheerfully. "In case you're afraid of living in sin... Although that does sound fun," Jorougumo ended on a purr. I gulped.
You could only run so far from certain subjects with her... Or any woman, for that matter. The only other option I had was distraction.
"Oh dear, I um... I haven't had my bath yet, Jorougumo-sama," I said. "I um, need to get cleaned up."
"A bath?" Jorougumo asked happily. "I love baths! Let's both take one!"
"Er, that's not what I- YEOW!"
Now, I know what you're thinking: The baths? What was I thinking? Wasn't I trying to avoid death by Snu-Snu from Jorougumo? Or for that matter, by any of the other female spiders, no doubt in human form, enjoying themselves in the hot springs at the base of the tree?
Let's get down to brass tacks. For spiders, sex is a strong biological drive, but it's not really 'fun' like it is for primates, dolphins, and a few others. In fact, it's nerve-wracking for the males, because if they mess up, there's a good chance they'll die.
Now, not all female spiders eat the males after mating, and even in the infamous black widow species not all matings end in death, but it's still dicey for any spider. And the females here aren't really happy about it either. They're sapient. They have instincts, and they still kill lovers- but they understand they just killed their lover after the fact.
So there is no social sex. None. Imagine the most Catholic sex-is-for-babies-only mindset and apply it to all spiders.
So why Jorougumo trying to jump my bones?
Because the Juro spiders are shapeshifters, who gained access to human bodies a few generations ago. And in case you didn't know, sex is amazing as a human. Imagine discovering masturbation as an adult. So Juro spiders have relatively recently gone from the standard prudish nature of spiders, to collectively acting like bonobos on Viagra and Red Bull.
This has led to… issues, in the Juro clan.
They may have been in human bodies but they were still spiders. And if an "adopted spider" such as myself could be strongly influenced by spider instincts, then even in human form spiders are going to be tempted to occasionally eat their mates after doing the deed.
Jorougumo is strong enough, and has enough chakra control, to dismember and eat me as a human. Trust me on this.
However, there was a method to my madness... Which I kept firmly repeating in my head as Jorougumo teleported us down between the massive roots of the tree.
Yeah, she can do that here. And yes, it is pretty damn cool.
The hot springs themselves were separated by massive roots and large rocks, but from our position on top of a larger root, we could see everything (and good grief, I do mean everything). Women of every skin color, hight, creed or description (but all beautiful) laughed and drank and enjoyed the warm water. It was Peeping Heaven. Beautiful women as far as the eye could see, nude, in steaming hot water.
There were men too, though not as many, and they tended to stick together. The baths were communal, with no formal segregation of sexes. There wasn't much point. Sentient spiders, even the Juro, didn't do casual sex when it could lead to deaths. The spider baths never had any escapades of the Jiraiya style, everyone was just there to relax in a fun, soothing activity.
Speaking of, I don't think Jiraiya would mind that they were all actually giant spiders in morph. Hell, he could probably write a whole series using that as the premise. I would have to remember to use this as a potential bribe at some point. Actually, he was strong enough he might be able to seal the deal and get away, too.
I was knocked out of my pondering as I felt every eye turn towards us. Eyes that widened in recognition. Hoo boy.
"Ando-kun!"
"Ando-kun!"
"Ando-kun!"
"Sensei?!"
Aha! Salvation! "Oh look, over there, my students. Let's go see them," I said quickly. Jorougumo smiled.
"Wonderful idea!"
I zipped down, studiously keeping my eyes on the two hot springs that held my students. It seemed that Sakura had made sure they were situated a fair distance from the heavily occupied ones. It didn't stop many of the spider-people from congregating around the pools in question, no doubt curious about these outsiders.
I landed on a boulder separating the two, and heard Sakura's scandalized gasp. Probably because I was naked. Well, Jorougomu was too, but I doubt she was that easy to upset.
"Sensei!"
"Sakura, you're a ninja now. You're going to have to get used to a few things," I said, waving my arm in an arc dismissively. I looked over to Sasuke and Naruto, who were sharing a pool. Both were as red faced as Sakura, and I doubted it was just because of the heat.
"Hey, Ando-kun, hey hey! I got a human form!" A blonde girl I immediately realized had to be Ringumo cheered. She stood up out of the water and twirled around, making the boys grow a shade of red deeper. "How do I look?"
"Very nice, Ringumo!" I said with a perfectly straight face. Hey, I'm not into underaged girls, thank you very much. Especially not underaged spider lolis. Or should I say moe, given it looked like she'd borrowed Hinata's DNA for her gestalt. Sakura blushed, looking scandalized at Ringumo's behavior. However, she didn't yell at me. Hmm... Then again, I wasn't misbehaving, really.
"Ooh! Mommy, Mommy, come soak with us!" Ringumo called. Jorougumo's hands came around me, and I tried not to sweat.
"Mmm... Andoryuu and I have much to discuss... We will require a-"
"Sure, we'll soak together," I said quickly. "Scoot over Naruto, Sasuke."
"Sure sensei," Naruto said. Jorougumo looked between the two pools, pursed her lips, and then smiled.
"I know! Let's all soak in one pool together. That's the best solution, I feel."
"Ah, Jorougumo-sama-" Her grip tightened, and I winced. "Of course. How wise!"
Just imagine how I'd be acting if I didn't have a plan…
••••••••••
The appearance of Jorougumo at our pool had driven everyone else out of the area. It was probably for the best, but made me even more nervous somehow.
"Haaa... Isn't this nice, Ando-kun?" Jorougumo asked, stretching quite provocatively, before slipping an arm around my back. Naruto and Sasuke, sitting across from us, looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights. Sakura, amusingly enough, wasn't that far off herself.
"Yeah! This is grrrreat," Ringumo moaned, sinking deeper into the hot water of Jorougumo's private bath. "It's been so long since I've been human! I really love this new body too!"
"Yes, it's very nice," I said.
"Thank you very, very much again, Sakura, Naruto, and Sasuke!" Ringumo said with an almost drunken smile on her face. "This is the best day ever..."
"Er, uh. Jorougumo-sama," Sakura managed. "Um, it's... that is-"
"Yes, Sakura Haruno?" Jorougumo asked. The pink haired girl steeled her nerves, and managed to look the Spider Queen in the eyes.
"We ah… we're used to... single-sex baths." She explained.
"Mou? Really?" Jorougumo asked. "You segregate the sexes?"
"Ah, y-yes," Sakura explained.
"Why?" Jorougumo asked.
"Er..."
"It's, um... To avoid embarrassment," Naruto supplied. "Like, you know, perverts and... stuff?"
"Perverts? How do you mean?" Jorougumo asked.
"Ah... Um..."
"Humanity has different social standards about nudity and sex than the spider clans do, Jorougumo-sama. Public nudity and sex are generally taboo. It has to do with courting and mating rituals."
Sakura looked as if she were about to pass out from mortification. Perhaps this was all a positive experience. I know my students are twelve, but… Well, we really shouldn't be having pubescent pre-teens running around killing people in the first place. I'll do what I can with what I've got, I suppose. Maybe when Naruto runs things I'll get him to raise the age limit for genin.
Jourogumo-sama's eyes lit up in understanding when I mentioned mating rituals, as I hoped they would. Many spider clans had elaborate procedures to woo lovers, holdovers from before they were sentient. "Ah, I see! Well, I'm afraid we don't here. And whilst amongst the crickets, should we not hop?" Jorougumo asked with a sultry smile.
I nodded. "Well, all the same, if it'll make my students more comfortable." I put my fingers together in the Tiger seal, and focused my chakra. "Henge."
POOF! A moment later, I was now in Sexy Jutsu form.
"I'll just be in female form," I said in a significantly more feminine voice. Jorougumo blinked, and looked me over. She then reached out and poked my breast.
"A full transformation?" She asked, looking delighted. I nodded.
"Yes! Not that dissimilar from what you do, Jorougumo-sama," I explained. I pointed to Naruto. "He invented it, and taught me."
"Really? You can do this?" Jorougumo asked with a smile. Naruto blushed, but pride won the day and he began to speak at length about the invention of his Sexy Jutsu, and the considerable utility it had. I smiled. Even ninja can only stay in the hot springs for so long, and as long as Jorougumo and Naruto talked about shapeshifting for the whole time, which they probably would… well, I was home free.
"Wow! Bigger than mine," Ringumo said, poking my boobs from the other side. "Do humans like boobs being large?"
"Your body was taken from adolescents, so it's still growing, mine is an adult." I had a flash of brilliance. "Ah, go ask Sasuke about it," I said. Ringumo smiled happily and nodded. She then swam next to Sasuke and sat in his lap, turning his face bright red.
"Um?"
"Sasuke-kun, do you like large boobs?" Ringumo asked. Sakura seethed, and instinctively pushed Ringumo off Sasuke's lap.
"Ringumo, don't do that! It's not proper!"
"Oh? Why?" The spider-turned-girl asked.
Sakura also blushed bright red, as I marvelled at my genius. Dance my puppets, dance!
"Urk!" Jorougumo glomped onto me and smiled warmly into my face.
"So, Naruto-kun tells me that human males often enjoy watching two females together," she purred. "Tell me Ando-kun, would you be willing to indulge me in a little experimentation?"
It was my turn to blush, and saw Naruto's smirk out of the corner of my eyes. Oh, I was going to get him for this somehow.
Sakura, fortunately, came to my rescue.
"Ah, well, Jorougumo-sama, remember the whole public sex taboo?" Sakura asked.
"No one is making you stay," Jorougumo suggested, looking a little annoyed.
"Eh? Sasuke, what's this thing?" Ringumo asked.
"Wha-!" Sasuke let out a squeak, which would have been adorable under other circumstances.
I didn't have to stop anything though, as Sakura was already on it. "RINGUMO!" Sakura grabbed Ringumo's shoulders, and yanked her away from Sasuke angrily. "Damn it Ringumo, don't do that!"
"Ohhh..." Ringumo nodded. "I was being 'taboo', wasn't I?"
"You were-?!" Sakura's jaw damn near dropped to the surface of the water. Sasuke's entire body seemed to be burning bright red.
Naruto was laughing his ass off. Jorougumo frowned, and looked back into my eyes. I shrugged.
"Clearly there are a lot of social nuances to learn, Jorougumo-sama... Maybe when we come back from that mission we can try that experiment." I smiled.
At this point I figured I could only put things off so long. I used to able to fend her off, back when I wasn't the spider sage, but it seemed like Jorougumo wasn't going to take no for an answer anymore. If we were both female, maybe she'd be able to resist the urge to gnaw my head off better. Perhaps if I fed her a cow right before hand too?
"Oh! Well, I suppose," Jorougumo sighed.
"I do have my duty. You wouldn't want me to slack off on it, would you?" I asked.
"Of course not!" The Spider Queen smiled warmly. "But I'd like you more if you chose to delay~"
"Sorry Jorougumo-sama. You know the old saying: 'Duty is heavier than a mountain, death lighter than a feather'," I quoted. Jorougumo blinked.
"I do?"
"... Well, you do now," I offered.
I looked over at the still laughing Naruto, and then back at Ringumo. Suddenly I knew the form of my revenge.
"Hey, Gumo-chan. It's not taboo to try things with Naruto, you know."
"It isn't?" Ringumo asked.
Sakura, immediately getting my intention, grinned evilly. "Nope! He's an exception to the rules."
"Okay!" Ringumo cheered, as she leaped out of the water and landed on top of the laughing blonde.
"ACK! RINGUMO!"
"Oooh! This one's kinda a different shape than Sasuke's! But I kind of like it. Woah! You have your own balls? I'm so jealous!"
"GAH! DON'T TOUCH THAT! DAMNIT SENSEI!"
I leaned back against the rock, restraining my laughter, as Jorougumo slid off my lap and sat next to me, looking confused.
"Have I mentioned I find your people very strange, Ando-kun?" She asked.
"Not lately," I said, as Naruto thrashed frantically underneath a laughing Ringumo.