Chapter 8: I Would Rather Catch a Cold
Disclaimer: I don't own any DC characters.
Warning: Momiji in this chapter is quite out of character. If you are a Momiji fan please stop reading. I don't dislike Momiji. The way I portray her is purely for the sake of this story in particular. So please beware!
Hattori Heiji couldn't feel any more defeated.
When he received Kazuha's "cheating" photos from an anonymous sender, he was completely driven nuts. Like possessed, he raced to Kyoto in full speed, just to look for the most important thing for him.
Last time, he denied saying "what are you do to my Kazuha" at the Ebisu Bridge and told Kazuha that the most important thing to him, the Great Detective of the West, was not this stupid woman, but proof, proof, proof!
Well … only he knew what's really the most important to him.
How he hoped these were just photoshopped!
But in whatever way, he needed proof!
When he finally arrived at the Sannon Temple, as instructed by the anonymous person who sent him the photos of Kazuha and Kudo, he was stunned by the déjà vuscene of when he first fell in love with that little girl in red kimono.
At that moment, he forgot about why he came here. All he saw was his girl, now grown up, wearing her red kimono waiting for him under the same cherry tree.
He wanted to feel her, with his own hands, to confirm it was not an illusion that would evaporate at one touch.
Excited, he ran to her, and ready to confess to her at this very moment.
He had been searching for the perfect place to confess to his girl, a place that she would remember for life. What could be better than this? What could be better than the place when he first fell in love with her?
He hugged her and made sure she was not an illusion. In ecstasy, he told her everything, that she was his first love, that he loved her, that he always loved her.
But …
Why the damn hell is Momiji here!
Quickly releasing his arms and stepping back, Heiji was stunned and couldn't feel more ashamed that he, the Great Detective of the West, once again got short-circuited when Kazuha was involved!
The first time, when he saw Kazuha taken away at Ebisu Bridge, he got too anxious and didn't figure out the identities of the narcotics control officers.[1]
The second time, when Kaito Kid pretended to be Kazuha to steal the conch pearl "Fairy's Lips," he was too attracted by his girl's "lips" and didn't recognize this was not Kazuha but the naughty Kaito's impersonation.[2]
And this time … he was so overwhelmed with the sudden joy, mixed with near disbelief, that he saw his Kazuha in the same setting as when he first fell in love with her.
But he didn't see clearly this was not actually Kazuha!
Bummer …
Yet another entry on his long list of failed attempts to confess to Kazuha …
"Momiji?" He couldn't feel more humiliated, realizing Momiji just heard his love confession, in its entirety! "Why on earth are you doing here?"
"Me?" Momiji looked surprised, "I said I will show you more about how Happa-chan cheated on you. Didn't I?"
"So it was you? The anonymous message?" Heiji narrowed his eyes, "What do you want, Momiji?"
"I thought you must be interested," smiled Momiji, "Look, I have more photos, and also some videos of Happa-chan cheating behind your back, with your best friend."
Handing over her phone to Heiji, Momiji looked at him anxiously, "Heiji-kun, you see, she is not worth it!"
Ok, now Heiji remembered why he came here in the first place - to see the proof of Kazuha cheating on him.
Momiji's phone stored dozens, if not hundreds of photos, as well as a few videos, of Kazuha and Kudo together, acting intimately, some of them even more intimate than the two Heiji got earlier. All, however, were taking from a distance.
"Why … why the hell do you have that …" Heiji doubted the intent of Momiji.
"I just happened to see Happa-chan on the street today." Momiji shrugged, "I saw her with the famous Kudo Shinichi, and I thought that was interesting."
Getting no response from Heiji, Momiji went on, "I usually see Happa-chan tagging you along. It's quite ... how do you put it? eye-opening, maybe? — to see her with another handsome guy, not to mention that guy is your best friend, isn't he?" She smiled, "I was just curious –– you know, curiosity is in human nature –– and I happen to have many assistants to help me collecting evidence."
"I did this for you, Heiji-kun ..." Momiji blushed a little bit, "... you do see that ..."
"It is none of your business!" Heiji interrupted Momiji and angrily threw the phone back at her, so hard that Momiji almost got hit by it.
He wanted to scream out to release some of the heaviness that's crushing his mind and body.
What the hell is Kazuha doing?! What the hell is Kudo doing?!
With heavy yet rapid steps, he walked out of the temple, entirely ignoring Momiji calling his name again and again from behind.
Taking out his phone, he looked at the top two names on his contact list. His thumb raised, hesitated, lingered, trembled, and finally closed the phone.
Raising his head, for an instant he thought he saw someone, someone with a ponytail, in a red dress, running away into the distant.
… Kazuha…?
No, no, no … Heiji shook his head, trying to bring his senses back.
It must be an illusion, again.
How stupid could he be, if he mistaken someone else as Kazuha twice in a roll, within just a few minutes?
"Heiji-kun! Wait!" Momiji caught up, slightly panting.
She walked pass Heiji and turned around to face him: "If you still don't believe, I can let you see –– with your own eyes –– what a flirtatious woman Toyama Kazuha is."
It was an unexpected but pleasant serendipity to see Happa-chan and Kudo Shinichi hanging out together in Kyoto. What a heaven-sent chance!
Therefore, the smart and resourceful Ōoka Ojō-sama, together with her loyal assistant Iori, quick set up everything needed to fully expose the inner slut of the seemingly innocent Happa-chan.
She already had everything ready in motion. All she needed now was to have Heiji to witness it himself. The Ōoka Pharmaceutical just developed a new fertility drug nicknamed "vega." If accidentally taken in large doze, it can ignite strong female arousal much, much more than any currently available drug on the market or any black market aphrodisiacs. If mixed with certain types of alcohol, the sexually boosting effect would be doubled or even tippled. Because of this and other side effects, vega had not yet been cleared by Pmda (Japanese equivalent of FDA).
Well, it seemed "vega" could be put into good use today ...
"Ōoka, I thought you were a smart woman." Heiji looked at Momiji in contempt, holding back his urge to hit her in the face, "Didn't you hear I just said it's none of your business?"
"Heiji-kun!" Momiji almost fell when Heiji brushed her aside and walked away.
"Heiji-kun!"
"…"
With a befuddled mind and a confused heart, when Heiji rode back to Osaka, for several times he almost ran into accidents.
For the first time in his life, he felt like a total failure.
He could take it lightly and positively when he lost to Kudo in solving the case of the murder of the diplomat.
He could even bite the bullet if he would eventually lose to Kudo in finding the most romantic place for love confession.
But he never, never imagined that he could lose Kazuha, his Kazuha, to Kudo Shinichi.
When he saw Kudo's bar fight video that Okita forwarded to him later that night, the shock to him was already secondary.
Was that what Momiji wanted him to see in person?
Well, it didn't make too much of a difference now ...
He was already at the nadir. More shocks along the same vein wouldn't make it go even lower.
Or so as he thought.
On Sunday he thought about it for the entire day, about Kazuha and himself.
He didn't call her –– she already ignored his hundreds of calls from Friday night to Saturday. Why in the world would he expect her to pick up the phone now?
Now, everyone on social media was fervently talking about Kudo's ponytailed girlfriend, and soon the over-enthusiastic gossipers found out the girl's name was Toyama Kazuha, and it didn't take these people long to figure out that the girl was also Hattori Heiji's rumored girlfriend. How exciting!
He thought about calling Nee-chan. But he imagined Nee-chan would be as hurt as him, if not more, and he, Hattori Heiji, was the worst person in the world to offer anyone any consolation.
He also thought about calling his other bros, such as Kuroba or Hakuba. But he felt too ashamed to admit that his girl got stolen and he had no clue about it whatsoever. The proud Hattori Heiji didn't want to be pitied by others.
The dark-skinned detective punched into the wall, feeling more helpless and clueless than ever.
Fine, I have to talk to that ahou in person …
Although he knew that Momiji played a less than honorable role in this, at this moment, he really didn't really have the heart or energy to figured out what Momiji did. What he really cared about was what Kazuha had to say.
She must have an explanation …
Heiji knew that Kazuha, the model student as she had always been, wouldn't skip classes like he always did. Which means, no matter how much she's trying to hide away from him, she would still go to school on Monday.
Ok, so here's the plan. Tomorrow morning, he would go to her house to pick her up as usual, and while walking to school together they could talk.
Yes, that's it.
Shinichi had no idea that one day he would wake up by a heavy punch on his face.
Opening his heavy eyelids, Shinichi saw the angry face of his dark-skinned counterpart/best friend. Meanwhile, he got almost deafened by the familiar yelling in Kansai-ben:
"What the hell do you think you are doing, Kudo Shinichi?!"
Heiji couldn't believe what he saw.
He had the key to Kazuha's house –– their families had always kept each other's keys. So in the morning when he rang the bell and heard no footsteps, he just opened the door himself.
Opening the front door of the Toyama residence, Heiji was at first relieved to see Kazuha's dirty shoes at the genkan. Great, she's home.
But … what on earth is that pair of men's sneakers?!
Having a really bad hunch, he ran in without even taking of his shoes – an act that Kazuha would have killed him but now he couldn't have cared less – and rushed upstairs to Kazuha's room.
Only to find her bedroom … empty.
"Kazuha! Kazuha! Where are you, ahou!" He called out her name, knowing for sure she must be in the house somewhere.
Suddenly seeing the door to the guest room opening, his eyes widened.
Walking into the guest room, Heiji couldn't help the urge to kill everyone within his sight as he saw …
Kazuha and Shinichi sleeping on the same bed, with his best friend's one arm around his childhood friend's waist, and his childhood friend curling comfortably, cocooned in his best friends' embrace. What a sweet scene ...
He felt all the blood in his body all flowed to his head. Before he knew it, he grabbed his best friend by the collar and gave him a good punch.
"Ouch!"
Both Heiji and Shinichi turned their heads, only to find Kazuha lying on the floor, both her hands rubbing her head.
Oh … in that heat of the moment, Heiji was too focused on unleashing his anger on Shinichi, while unintentionally ignored when he picked up Shinichi from the bed, his force also pushed Kazuha off the bed and down to the floor.
"… Heiji?" Now sitting up, Kazuha rubbed her eyes with a yawn. Opening her eyes, she saw her childhood friend standing in front of her, his face looked even darker than usual, and his one hand holding the collar of his best friend.
Now her eyes wide opened. Looking at the face of the dark-skinned detective, then turning to look at the pale-skinned one, Kazuha was not quick enough to assess the situation here …
Silence befell.
"Kazuha, are you ok?" Shinichi was the first one to come to himself.
"Heiji, what are you doing here!" Instead of answering Shinichi's question,Kazuha stared at Heiji into his eyes angrily.
What does he is doing here?! Picking a fight a sick person, who also happens to be his best friend, IN MY HOUSE?!
"Heiji! What are you doing?! Kudo-kun is your best friend!" Jumping from the floor, Kazuha grabbed Heiji by the waist from behind, trying to pull him back from Shinichi.
"Best friend?" Heiji couldn't control the burning fire of anger inside, "Is this what best friend supposed to do? Sleeping with my … my childhood friend?"
"What are you talking about?" Kazuha was still trying to pull his hot-tempered childhood friend back, but her strength was not at all his match, "Kudo-kun caught a cold and I was just taking care of him!"
"Taking care of him?" Heiji's right hand was still grabbing Shinichi's collar and his eyes spitting fire, "By sleeping together?"
"You jerk!" Kazuha was beyond annoyed. How could he distort truth like that? "I just dozed off by the bedside!"
"That's not what I saw!" Heiji couldn't believe it! How could this stupid woman lie so blatantly? What did she think he was? Blind? Or just a total idiot?
"You are out of your mind!" Kazuha's eyes widened even more, as if it was possible blr. She couldn't believe how unreasonable Heiji's behaving!
Helplessly, she turned to the until-now-mostly-silent Shinichi for corroboration: "Kudo-kun, you knew I was just dozing off by the bedside, right?"
"Err …" Shinichi couldn't face Kazuha's pure eyes. He didn't pull her on the bed out of any evil intention, but now … now her eyes told him she would rather he didn't …
"Yes you were … but I was afraid you catching a cold … you know … so …" The voice of the pale-skinned boy kept dwindling, and his face turning paler. He couldn't tell whether it was because of the still lingering cold or something else.
"Lier …" Kazuha was dumbfounded.
Silence befell again.
"Then … why don't you just ... why don't you ... let me catch a cold …" Kazuha finally spoke, her voice became audibly coarser. She hid her eyes behind Heiji's back, and Heiji could tell the back of his shirt was getting wet.
"… I would rather … catch a cold …" Sobbing uncontrollably, Kazuha only kept repeating what she just said, unable to say anything else.
She already didn't know what to tell Heiji. She was not as smart as those genius detectives. Nor was she as smart as Ran or Momiji. Her little brain, at least for the limited hours when she was still awake from yesterday, hadn't yet figured out a way out of the whole mess she created.
And now, having Heiji seeing she lying on the same bed with Kudo-kun? No matter how eloquent she was, she wouldn't be able to convince Heiji that there was really nothing between her and Kudo-kun …
Well, that was actually already a lie … She couldn't lie …
Heiji's body got more and more tense. His hand already let go of Shinichi, the moment Kazuha started crying. It is not like he hadn't seen Kazuha crying before. In fact, he had seen a lot, probably a little bit too much of her crying.
But this time was different.
Instead of wailing in her famous, or infamous, high-pitched tone,[3]this time Kazuha was just sobbing, and in a very low voice. But because she was still hugging him from behind –– probably she needed some fabric to wipe her tears –– he could feel very tangibly that she's shivering and quivering.
Well, before, Kazuha mostly cried out of fear, fear of her father or Heiji getting hurt while confronting criminals.
But this time, she cried out of sheer sadness.
It's already irredeemable …
Heiji felt heart-broken by the way Kazuha cried. He didn't know what's going on deep inside the crying girl's mind, but he knew she's sad.
Unlike his usual hot-tempered behavior, Heiji turned back and gently embraced Kazuha.
"Kazuha …" He was about to say "it's ok" but swallowed it.
He didn't really know if it's ok.
Probably not.
Kazuha froze when Heiji hugged her. But his rare tenderness and considerateness triggered more and more tears. She felt more and more guilty, and more and more helpless.
…I am so low … so despicable …
She wanted to yell out from the bottom of her heart to question Kudo-kun. Didn't he know that they should keep their distance as much as possible, given what had happened between them? She couldn't blame him for worrying about her getting a cold, but like she said, she would rather get physically sick than feeling sick of herself.
"… why … don't … let me … catch … cold …" She still repeated the same line, only getting more and more broken.
Kazuha's muffled sobbing was the only audible sound in the room.
Heiji tightened his arms around Kazuha's tender frame.
Shinichi looked at the two Osakans, feeling like a total outsider.
Oh, my … I have done everything wrong …
To be continued ...
[1]File 879-881, Vol. 83, TV 763-764, "Conan and Heiji, Code of Love."
[2]File 1015-1018, Vol. 96, "Fairy's Lips."
[3]M17, "Private Eye in the Distant Sea."
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