Three days passed, and Alex saw no sign of Castiel. Ezekiel remained a constant presence in the house, as still and as quiet as a statue. His brother, however, proved to be more company; no matter what topic Alex brought up, the seraphim always had a story to tell. However, as the days wore on, his visits became further and further in between.
The television flickered in the dimly lit room, but the young angel barely paid it any attention. Her eyes were half-closed as she lay on the couch, fingers drumming on her chest as she listened to the voices from the speakers. Her wing lay pressed up beside her, still aching from its break, but Alex did her best to put the pain into the back of her mind.
A half-eaten bag of chips lay on the coffee table in front of her, and Alex's grey eyes wandered down to it as her stomach growled, but the fried snack didn't seem to hold any appeal. With a groan, the angel pushed herself to her feet, shoulders rolling back as she looked around the darkened living room. "Ezekiel?" There was no sign of the seraphim, and Alex frowned in confusion; it wasn't like him to leave without announcing it.
She crossed over to the fridge and pulled it open, lips pursing in a small frown at the dismal state of the interior. It was nearly empty, its contents having been picked through over the course of several days, and Alex pushed the leftovers from side to side as she searched for something appetizing.
"What are you doing?" A deep voice behind her had her jumping, and Alex winced at the sudden pain in her wings as they flapped in surprise. Arms enveloped her, holding her near, and Alex leaned back into the solid warmth.
"I was looking for dinner." The young angel kept her gaze on the refrigerator as she spoke, and she felt Castiel hum behind her, his chest vibrating against her back.
"Don't bother. I thought that we would go out." Lips pressed against the back of her neck, the breath warm and light, and Alex squirmed in surprise. "I'm sorry that I haven't been here in a while," the seraph continued. "With Micheal gone, heaven has been in chaos; several of the angels have come to me in search of support."
"You're the best angel that could have come to." Alex wrapped her fingers around his wrist, and after a second, she kicked the fridge shut. "It's okay, I understand."
Her promise had the seraph humming again. "How are you doing?" he asked. "Have you had any more nightmares about Lucifer?"
"I'm fine." The words were a lie, a painfully obvious one at that, but Alex stuck to it. "Just give me some time to get over it." She wiggled herself free and turned around, stepping back to put some distance between her and the seraph ."So, dinner you say?"
"Go get ready." Castiel stepped aside to let Alex past, and the young angel's wings brushed against his as she hurried away. She rushed up the stairs to where the bedroom lay, her duffle bag still on the floor next to the dresser. The young angel quickly shucked off her sweatshirt and reached for a clean jacket to pull on over her black t shirt. Her hand hesitated over the collar, fingers dancing over the fabric of what had once been Dean's. The jacket was oversized, hardly attractive, but it was warm — and who knew where in the world Castiel would drag her. The call of her name made the decision for her, and she quickly shrugged on the coat as she hurried back down the stairs. "Hey, Cas?" Alex came to stop in front of the seraph, and Castiel turned to face her. "Dean — where is he?"
"Dean?" For a brief moment, Castiel's face twisted in confusion before the lines disappeared. "He went to Lisa and Ben. He's safe there." His hand stretched out, and Alex took it.
Her eyes fell closed as the ground shifted, and wind whipped through her hair and clothes. Alex felt her stomach twist sickeningly, surprised at how long it took before her feet once again touched solid ground. Only then did she reopen her eyes, blinking to let them adjust to the new lighting. "Where are we?" She stepped away from the seraph as she looked around the small, brightly lit street. The air smelled of fresh rain, and the neon shop lights caught in the puddles on the side of the road.
"Atlanta, Illinois." Castiel's hands disappeared into the pockets of his trench coat, and Alex rolled down the sleeves of her jacket as a gust of wind carried the remnants of the earlier rain on it. He looked down when Alex made a questioning noise, and added, "They have good food. Unfortunately, there has been recent angelic activity around, particularly among the adolescents, so be careful."
"Careful?" Alex nervously rolled her sleeves back up, casting a quick look around, but the streets were empty. She settled with a small chuckle. "So why — why bother to bring me here at all if there's danger lurking around every step?"
"I told you; they have good food." The seraph set off at a brisk pace down the street, leaving Alex to hurry after him.
"Whoa, wait!" she called, but a hand on her shoulder suddenly had pulling up short. Five young men stood behind her, and Alex's good wing flared out in surprise. Where the hell had they come from? "Who are you?" Her grey eyes flashed as she took in the five pairs of wings, and she took a confused step back. "Fucking angels," she added under her breath.
"Well, well, what have we got here?" The angel who had grabbed her wrist chuckled, and silver wings unfurled from his shoulders, stretching towards the sky.
"Fuck off." Alex brushed off his hand and turned to go, but a push of the angel's wings had him appearing in front of her. "Hey!" Her black wings drew in close as Alex jumped back, and her face darkened as she tried to catch sight of Castiel, fists curling at her side.
The angel laughed again as he looked around at his friends. "Hey now, show a little respect," he teased, and a flick of his wings had his companions filling in around her, surrounding her in a loose circle. Alex's fist flashed out, frustration fueling her actions, but the angel easily stepped aside to avoid the blow. "This one's got a bit of a fight," he joked, and his brown eyes lit up in amusement. "Now, tell me, what's a pretty girl like you doing here without a mate?"
"She's with me." Relief filled Alex's chest at the deep sound of Castiel's voice, and she tried to push her way between two of the angels. They didn't let her through, but a punch to one's stomach had him doubling over in pain. Alex brought her elbow down on his back, and the angel fell to the ground. A fist swung through the air, and Alex barely ducked in time, throwing her elbow back into his ribs as she slipped by.
A hand wrapped around her arm, and Alex stumbled in surprise as she was roughly yanked backwards into someone's solid chest. "Let me go!"
"Hey, not bad." The leader of the angel, the one with silver wings, held her tight, and Alex snarled at his words. "You're a fighter, huh?"
"I'm a hunter."
"Leave her alone, Zuriel." Castiel's wings arched high above his head, and he took a step forward, fists clenched at his side. His blue eyes were dark as the other angels stumbled to their feet, and Alex hissed as Zuriel's grip on her tightened.
"Why should I?" One of his arms folded across her chest, pinning her wings tightly against his front, and Alex's eyes screwed up in pain at the pressure on her broken joint. She felt a hand on her head, tipping it to one side, and she jumped in surprise when fingers ran across the side of her neck. "She's with you?" he repeated. "I don't see any mark. Must not be all that into you." Something pressed against her, something within her soul, and Alex shifted uncomfortably at the strange feeling.
Zuriel let out a hum of confirmation, his wings fluttering slightly as he chuckled. Alex heard Castiel's wordless snarl, and through the feathers she caught sight him pushing through the four other angel's of Zuriel's gang; he moved smoothly, trench coat flaring out as he spun in a tight circle.
Thinking fast, Alex popped her head up into Zuriel's chin. Pain flashed through her skull at the impact, and her teeth rattled, but the blow was enough to cause the angel to cry out. His grip weakened, and Alex tore free, fists balled. One shot out, and she felt the satisfying crack of his nose as it broke beneath her punch. Zuriel stumbled away in surprise, brown eyes wide, and Alex dropped down, ready to defend herself as the rest of his gang gathered around Zuriel. Their wings were ruffled and dirty, and several sported small cuts and bruises; they healed before her eyes, leaving their skin smooth and unmarred.
Faced with all five, Alex instinctively raised her wings, trying to appear bigger than she actually was. Hr limb crumpled at the pain, and her knees threatened to buckle beneath her as she cried out. Her wings drew back in close, twitching in surprise as they brushed against something solid.
Castiel stood behind her, navy wings stretched high up into the air. Anger blazed across his face, a frightening change from its normal stoicism. One hand came up to rest on her shoulder, and the metal glint of an angel blade shimmered in the other as he held Zuriel's gaze, neither willing to give in. The air was thick with tension, and Alex could almost hear Castiel's possession.
Mine.
"Get out of here," she heard him say, his voice low and dark, and he stepped up to her side, his angel blade lifted in a threat.
"Whoa there, brother." Zuriel rubbed at his chin with a light-hearted scowl, and his wings dropped back down to his side as he stepped away from the seraph's wrath. "We're just having a little fun — no need to get violent." He stepped back when Castiel advanced, and with a flutter of wings, he was gone.
The others were quick to follow, leaving Alex alone with Castiel. She glanced up into Castiel's face as he muttered an Enochian curse under his breath before he finally shook his head. "Alpeth needs to learn to keep his son in line." The anger from his eyes faded, and they turned down onto her. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." Alex leaned back into Castiel's chest, finding comfort in his solid presence. "Assholes." Her eyes closed as Castiel's arms wrapped around her, hugging her close. "What was their problem?"
"They're young and they're stupid." She felt the seraph shake his head against her hair, and his arms fell back down to his side. "Come on. Let's go find something to eat." His fingers threaded through hers, and he led her across the street.
...
He took her to a small diner down the street. They sat in the far booth, tucked away in the corner of the restaurant, and Alex took no time in ordering food for the both of them. "Are you sure you're okay?" Castiel's attention turned back onto her as the waitress walked away.
"Yes." Gentle exasperation filled her voice, and Alex pushed away his worried hand. "Stop asking me, Cas." She fell silent as the waitress returned with their drinks, and she took the moment to take a look around. The diner was almost empty; a young couple were at the other end, deep in quiet conversation, and an old man sipping on a cup of coffee sat at the counter. "So," she began, lowering her voice. "What did Zuriel mean? About this … this mark I don't have?"
Castiel's jaw tightened as he turned his head, attention focused on the empty street out the window.
"Well?" Alex prompted when the seraph didn't answer, and she leaned forward when Castiel still refused to make eye contact. "Hey. Cas. What is it?"
The seraph ran his hands through his dark hair as he turned back to face her, and hesitation lined his face before he began. "Zuriel was looking to see if you were mated," he finally explained before he once again fell silent.
"And …"
"And what?"
"And everything." Alex's elbow bumped against the table as she leaned forward, grey eyes locking with Castiel's brilliant blue. "What are you not telling me?"
"This isn't a good place to talk about it." Castiel's voice dropped low, but when Alex's eyes narrowed in cold accusation, the seraph gave in. "Fine. When Enaaish — female angels such as yourself — mate with an angel, they receive a … a bonding mark."
"Okay. How? And why?"
"It, uh … well, it's a bite mark." The seraph's cheeks flushed, and his blue eyes dropped to the ground. "Only angels can see it. Angels are not designed for either companionship or reproduction, and this … this was the only way that worked."
"Seriously?" Alex laughed, leaning back as the waitress passed them their drinks. "Like — like this is some kinky alpha-omega shit?" Castiel's response was mere confusion, and she let the joke die. "Okay. So, uh, Zuriel was looking to see if I … had a mate."
"Yes. As I said, only angel can see it." Something warm pressed up against her, familiar yet strange, and Alex looked down in search of the source. "Our Father designed for man and woman to be one during intercourse, but while humans only do this physically, angels can become one spiritually as well. Biting …" the seraph paused to think. "The physical mark isn't what bonds in itself, but acts more like a … gateway between the our vessels."
"Our." Alex repeated the word, and Castiel's eyes flickered up in surprise. "You mean, like you and me. You think — you think I'm your mate?"
The word tasted foreign on her tongue, and Castiel's head fell, her uncertainty misinterpreted as reluctance. "I'm sorry." His fingers drummed on the table as he looked out the window. "I didn't — it wasn't supposed to be like this." His gaze turned back to her, and Alex felt a lump form in her throat at the look in his eyes; it was balanced somewhere between hopeful and hopelessness, and Alex had to look away to quell the pain in her chest.
"Hey." She reached out to take his hand, tracing her thumb across his knuckles. "It's okay, Cas. If you're talking about Lucifer — it's not your fault."
"No, not that." Castiel firmly shook his head, and his hand moved as if to draw away before falling back into place. "This. I wasn't supposed to fall, and you weren't supposed to learn about everything this way."
Alex shrugged, and she leaned back as her meal was set down in front of her. "Don't worry about it." She picked up a fry, shrugging again as she searched for a way to change the conversation. "Uh, well, lucky for you, I know absolutely nothing about being an angel, so you've got some work cut out for you." She dunked the fry into ketchup and shoved it into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully as she watched Castiel slowly did the same. "For example, uh, I thought angels didn't have to eat or sleep."
"It's complicated." Castiel broke his fry in half, concentrating on the task at hand before he answered. "Angels do not need to eat or sleep like humans do." He paused as he thought, and after a second, he corrected, "When we do sleep, it's more of change in consciousness than an actual REM cycle. However, it is possible for some angels to go into REM sleep when they are inhabiting a vessel." He looked down at his plate of food, adding, "Eating is not pleasant, but it is possible."
Alex tipped her head. "Not pleasant?" she repeated.
"Our Father constructed our senses to be much stronger than humans, taste included. The food here tastes too …" Castiel trailed off, searching for an appropriate English word. "Too … busy. I can taste every chemical compound."
"Oh, okay." Alex motioned to his plate with a small frown. "So, then why did you even bother to get food?"
"You were hungry."
Alex rolled her eyes, and she picked up her burger with a shake of her head. "You could have told me, Cas. I would have understood." The seraph's gaze dropped, and Alex chewed her food as she thought. "Okay," she finally began again. "You said angels had mates; that's what Zuriel was looking for. You're telling me all this because … because you think we're mates."
Her reasoning was rewarded by a sharp flush in Castiel's cheeks. "We're not mates yet," he was quick to correct. "But …" The seraph shifted uncomfortably in his seat, and his fingers swept through his dark hair.
"No, no, it's okay." Alex reached out, momentarily placing her hand on top of his before she drew away. "I get what you mean. I'm just trying to, uh, wrap my head around it all, I guess. Okay, so not mate yet. So, you're … kind of like my boyfriend." Castiel didn't respond, and Alex tipped her head. "I-I'm sorry, I have to ask. Why — why biting?"
"It … completes the circuit." Castiel's blue eyes narrowed as he thought, speaking slowly as he considered the best way to explain. "All I know is that it is required for our grace to fully fuse together." His gaze turned upwards. "Our Father left before heaven learned how to … make Enaiish, female angels, from humans. We had to learn how to infuse grace into a human to make her one of us. Perhaps if He stayed, He would have showed us a better alternative, but He didn't."
"Huh. Sounds sucky." Alex watched as Castiel's wings drooped, and she jumped to apologize. "Sorry."
"I don't expect you to understand it all," Castiel promised. "Not for a while yet. There is much you'll have to learn, and it will take time." His eyes darted past her to rest on her wings, and he added, "I'll teach you how to fly when your wing heals. Something tells me you'll pick it up quickly."
Alex snorted. "How difficult can it be? Don't I just have to keep moving?" The look in Castiel's eyes proved her wrong, and she grinned. "Okay, deal. Teach me to fly, and I'll … I'll teach you something human. Like sarcasm. Or, uh, metaphors."
She laughed at her own joke, but Castiel merely nodded. "That would be … beneficial," he agreed, and Alex rolled her eyes. She opened her mouth, ready to say more, but Castiel spoke first, his wings rising uneasily as he looked around. "We need to go," he decided, his voice dropping low in warning as he rose to his feet. "Someone is coming."
He rose to his feet, holding out his hand, and Alex scoffed. "I think we can take on 'someone,' " she retorted, but she obediently followed, taking his hand as she cast a look around the diner. A man sat at the far end, watching them intently, and Alex felt her face flush at the dark look in his eyes. Castiel's feathers ruffled, and then the diner was gone as they flew away.
...
The next few days passed quickly, her time divided between solitude and Castiel's company. The fear instilled in her by Lucifer slowly began to fade, thanks to Castiel's calm, persistent understanding, and the wall she had constructed slowly started to collapse.
The house around her was empty, silent bar for the creaking of the couch as Alex shifted, stretching her good wing out as she sought to get comfortable. She turned the page in her book as she adjusted the pillow behind her back; a grunt of pain left her lips as she accidentally bumped her broken wing. The couch dipped suddenly, and Alex peered over the top of her book to see Castiel. "Hey," he greeted, a flick of his wings accompanying his greeting.
"Hey yourself." Alex mimicked the gesture, flicking her wingtips towards him, and she shifted, leaning her back against the armrest of the couch and drawing her legs up onto the cushions to fully face Castiel. "What's up?"
"Nothing." Castiel sat straight on the couch, his head turned to hold her gaze.
Alex blinked, surprised by the intensity that sat behind his eyes. "Uh, okay." She set her book down in her lap, a small smile playing on her lips. "How is the garrison? I didn't expect you back until later." Castiel didn't immediately answer, and as the silence dragged on, Alex let out a lopsided grin. "Can I help you with something —"
With a flutter of wings, Castiel pushed his way between her legs, planting his hands on either side of her waist as he hovered over her. Blue eyes met grey, lingering for little more than a second. Then Castiel kissed her. It was slow, hesitant at first, and Alex froze in momentary shock as his chapped lips brushed across hers.
Castiel pulled back, nervously searching her face for any sign that he he had pushed her too far. Alex smiled, and relief rushed across Castiel's face as he leaned in again. The kiss was harder, more confident this time, and his wings drew in closer around them, covering them and blocking out the light. Alex felt his feathers ruffle, brushing across her skin, and after several long seconds, Alex put a hand on his chest and pushed him away. "Don't push it, Casanova," she teased, the words spoken against his lips when Castiel barely pulled back.
Her words had Castiel's eyes squinting in confusion, and he sat back on his heels, head tipped. "That's not my name."
"Yeah, I — I know." Alex rolled her eyes, pushing herself up into a sitting position as well, tossing her discarded book onto the coffee table. "Hey, are you hungry?" She jumped to her feet, her good wing beckoning Castiel after her as she circled around the couch and hurried into the kitchen. The freezer was almost empty, and Alex frowned good-naturedly as she pulled out a carton of ice cream. "You need to restock the food, my friend," she joked, bumping Castiel with her hip.
"I was hoping I was more than that." Castiel wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into another kiss, and Alex happily accepted, humming out her amusement against his lips. She tossed the ice cream onto the island, snack forgotten, and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
The ground disappeared from beneath her feet as Castiel lifted her up onto the counter, his wings boxing her in and leaving no room for escape. "Cas," she murmured against his lips, and his teeth teased at her bottom lip as she spoke. "My food."
"Your food can wait." Castiel half-growled out the words, and Alex curled her hands through his hair, holding him close. She momentarily lost herself in him, pressed between the cold cabinets and his warm chest. His hands had moved, one cupping the back of her neck to keep her near while the other rested on her hip.
It was Alex who broke away, wiggling free and sliding back onto the floor. "The ice cream's going to melt," she whined, but she had only taken one step towards the island before Castiel's hands were around her waist, drawing her back into his chest and peppering her neck with kisses. "You're damn persistent, I'll give you that." Alex struggled playfully against his hold, laughing as he held her tighter.
Suddenly Castiel pulled away, his hand snapping up as a angered curse fell from his lips. "Dammit." His eyes flashed, and Alex pulled back in hurt and confusion. The anger didn't seem to be directed at her, and the angel turned her head as a smell reached her nose, one she hadn't noticed before. Castiel's wings fell away, and Alex finally saw an angel standing behind them, barely disguised amusement dancing in his eyes. "Balthazar." Castiel acknowledged the angel with a frown, stepping away from Alex with a displeased twitch of his wings. "What do you want?"
Balthazar. Alex easily recognized the blonde, and she felt her face flush bright red as Balthazar grinned. "Hello to you, too, Castiel." He looked over at Alex, his smile growing. "Is this the lovely female angel I've heard about?" His wings arched high over his head in interested, and Alex reached down to take Castiel's hands. She felt Castiel's wings lift, disgruntled at Balthazar's show of curiosity, but the angel's grin only widened. "Apparently."
"What do you want?" Castiel repeated.
"Castiel." Balthazar finally turned his eyes away from Alex, and she felt some of the tension leave her muscles. "You're needed back at the garrison." His eyes flashed, his accent growing stronger as his frustrations grew. " Abdiel is at it again."
Castiel let out a harsh breath. "Can't you deal with him on your own?" he snapped. "You outrank him, Balthazar. You don't need me to babysit."
Balthazar's face twisted in offense, and his amber feathers ruffled. "Do you have any idea what he's like?"
"Yes, and I know what it's like to have to listen to you two fight." Castiel's anger rose, and Alex blinked, surprised at how he snapped. Balthazar, however, seemed unaffected by the seraph's short temper, and finally Castiel sighed. "Fine." He turned to Alex, squeezing her hand before letting it drop. "I'll be back soon," he promised.
He disappeared with a flap of his wings, and Alex turned, unsurprised to find that Balthazar was still standing on the other side of the island. Her good wing rose, the corner of her lip pulled up into the hint of a snarl, but Balthazar merely laughed. "Cute," he teased, and then he was gone.
Alex's wing fell back down, and her eyes closed momentarily, her lips still tingling from Castiel's kisses. She grabbed the ice cream off of the counter and fished out a spoon before she walked back to the couch. He had kissed her. Oh my God. Alex dropped down onto the cushions, drawing in a deep breath to try and slow her beating heart. Her, of all people. And not just once. All of her trepidation towards Castiel melted away, and Alex grinned. She couldn't deny it anymore. She loved him. God, I'm such a teenager. Alex laughed as she ripped off the lid of the container, shoving her spoon into the frozen snack. She turned on the tv, trying to pass the time until Castiel returned, but her mind kept wandering. He had kissed her.
...
The night came, and the sky outside grew dark, and Castiel still had yet to return. The ice cream was long gone, the empty container discarded onto the coffee table, and Alex was curled up on the couch, the tv forgotten as she continued to read her book. The flutter of wings announced Castiel's arrival, and Alex sat up with a smile. "Hey. You're back late." She pushed herself to her feet, discarding the book onto the couch as she crossed the room to stand in front of Castiel.
"My apologies." He leaned down to kiss her, lips brushing across hers in a whisper of a kiss. "I had trouble with Abdiel and Balthazar."
"Yeah, they sound like a handful." Alex kissed him, holding him in place with a hand on the back of his neck. "I was just about to head up to bed if you're interested in coming. I guess it'll be a while before I can forgo sleeping."
She led the way up the stairs, casting a look over her shoulder to confirm that Castiel was following. His wings drooped, a sign of his exhaustion, but he didn't slow, almost pressing up against her wings as she paused to open the bedroom door. The darkened room was lit by the moonlight, and Alex paused to peer out over the yard, feathers ruffling in amazement at the size of the heaven.
She turned at the sound of rustling clothes to see that Castiel had changed into a pair of sweatpants and a white t-shirt, and she paused, drawing her wings back up in curiosity. "I hope you don't mind." Castiel looked down at his new outfit, his own navy wings stretching out and curling forward. "I think my own grace is still recovering. I think I'm going to try sleeping as well. Perhaps the inactivity will help my grace recharge."
"Yeah, that's cool." Alex dropped down onto the bed, slipping under the covers with a shrug. Castiel joined her, pressing a kiss upon her forehead, and Alex curled up against his chest as his wings wrapped around her. "I missed you."
"I'm sorry I had to leave." Castiel's lips dropped down onto hers, and Alex purred as she tilted her head up to meet his kiss. "Balthazar will find a reason to drag me into any argument that he has." He shifted so he was lying back, reclined against the headboard, and Alex followed him down, resting up against his warm chest. Her feathers pressed up against his, black and gold meshing against blue. She felt Castiel's fingers curl in her hair, holding her close, and Alex reached up to cup his cheek, keeping him steady as his wings shifted beneath him.
Suddenly, she was on her back, Castiel hovering over her with his wings flared up. The feathers caught in the moonlight, glowing silver, and Alex reached up to run her fingers across the vanes. They folded down, curling around her to shut out the world. His lips pressed against hers, warm and dry, and Alex stifled a grunt as his heavy chest pressed down into hers. His hands moved from her head, moving down her side, and Alex planted her hands against his chest, pushing back against him as his hands paused at her hips.
Castiel leaned back, his eyes gazing questioningly into hers as his thumbs rested against her hip bones, the tips slipping beneath the hem of her shorts as he studied her, carefully watching her response. Alex scooted backwards, batting his hands away as she pressed her back up against the headboard. Her good wing curled up around her, moving hesitantly as her lips parted, poised to speak, but she didn't get the chance.
Castiel's eyes widened slightly, darkening with hurt, and he pushed himself off of the bed as he drew away. His navy wings drew in close, his bare feet silent on the wooden floor as he crossed the room. He stopped beside the darkened window, and Alex stifled a heavy sigh. "Cas." The name hung in the silent air, and Alex slipped out of the bed when Castiel gave no response. "Cas?" she repeated, her voice soft, and she came to stop behind him, her good wing drawn in nervously. "I — I'm sorry —"
"Do you love me?"
Castiel's interruption caught her off guard, and Alex paused, mouth hanging open in surprise. "W-What?"
"Yes or no." Castiel turned around, his blue eyes wide, and his navy wings twitched hesitantly. "Do you love me?"
Alex hesitated, taken aback by the questioning. "I — I do love you," she insisted, "but Cas —"
"But what?" Castiel's blue eyes searched hers desperately, his frustration creeping into his tone. "But what, Alex? I don't understand. If you love me … what am I doing wrong?" He shifted closer, and the tips of his wings brushed hesitantly against her side, the soft barbs catching against her shirt.
Alex's good wing instinctively drew away from the touch, and she closed her eyes when Castiel pulled away, his eyes falling to the ground. "You …" Alex scrubbed at her face with her fist, hesitating as she thought through her phrasing. "You're not doing anything wrong," she promised. "It's just …"
She trailed off again, unsure what to say, and she felt Castiel's frustration spark through the air as his voice rose. "Just what?"
"I don't know!" Alex snapped, her own frustrations boiling over. "Okay? I just don't know." Castiel flinched away, and she drew in a deep, slow breath. "I'm just not ready, okay, Cas? It's — it's not your fault."
"You're my mate." Castiel's voice cracked, and Alex's gaze dropped to the ground, feet scuffing on the ground.
Alex's good wing curled forward, wingtips extended in an intimate gesture, but Castiel made no move to return the motion, his eyes never leaving her face. With a sigh, Alex's wing drooped, crestfallen. "I know, and I'm sorry, but I — I can't. Not yet. Not with — not with Lucifer, and …" She trailed off into silence, shifting backwards as she fell quiet.
"I understand." With a quiet breath, Castiel turned his eyes away, letting them drift back out the window, and Alex felt some of the tension leave her body. "I'm sorry. Lucifer hurt you, and I shouldn't push you somewhere that you're uncomfortable to go."
"Just give me time." Alex reached out for his arm, her fingers brushing across the warm skin. "I just … I just need time."
"I understand," Castiel repeated, the edges of his voice sharp with frustration, but it quickly was quelled. "Just know that we're not truly mates until we've consummated. And I want …" He turned back to face her, the weary lines in his face softening. "Never mind what I want," he murmured, quiet enough that Alex was unsure if the words were only meant for himself. "You're tired, and you need to rest. Come." He extended a hand, and Alex hesitantly took it, curling her thin fingers around his wrist. "Let's go to bed."
...
Castiel was gone when Alex awoke, and the young angel's eyes flickered open in confusion. She vaguely remembered him leaving — at least, she remembered the brush of his lips across her temple — and with a thin frown, she arose. Sunlight streamed in through the windows, dappling the wooden floors with the dancing shadows of the trees, and she waltzed into the bathroom, pleased at how the tile was warm beneath her bare toes. She hummed, but the happy melody died in her throat as she stopped beside the bathroom mirror.
She winced at the sight of her left wing, the broken arch painfully swollen. Alex slowly reached back to pluck out a broken feather, hissing at the pain it brought, and she reluctantly turned her attention onto her right wing to distract herself. She extended it out, watching how the feathers glimmered in the light as it moved smoothly up and down, powerful and sleek.
After changing into a pair of jeans and a soft cotton shirt, she descended the stairs into the empty living room. Something tickled at her nose, and the angel sniffed at the air, following the warm, buttery scent of food into the kitchens. Waffles?
Waffles. A plate sat on the counter, and on top of it, a Biggerson's take out box containing two waffles. "Thanks, Cassie." Alex spoke the prayer aloud with a grin, and she tossed her breakfast on the the plate and reached for the syrup.
They were still warm, suggesting that Castiel hadn't been gone long — of course, Alex corrected, this was heaven. Maybe waffles didn't cool like they did on earth. She scarfed them down in five minutes flat, and Alex drummed her fingers on the island as she circled around to toss the plate into the sink. The drumming turned into a hum, and Alex hurried into the living room, her feet moving to the tune in her head.
Crazy Chester follow me, and he caught me in the fog,
He said, "I would fix your rack, if you'll take Jack my dog."
The humming turned into singing as she dropped down onto the couch, and her arms stretched out to grab her book off of the coffee table.
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I am a peaceful man."
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you —"
"You have a beautiful voice." Castiel's voice had Alex jumping up in surprise, her good wing stretching out instinctively to balance her as she spun around, searching for the source.
Castiel stood in the doorway of the kitchen, his blue eyes watching her intently, and Alex felt her face flush with embarrassment. "Uh, thanks," she muttered. Her hands were in close, holding her book tightly up against her chest, and she discarded it with a frown. "Um … thanks for the waffles, by the way. I appreciated it."
"Of course." Castiel moved forward, and Alex stepped around the couch to meet him halfway. He held out his arms, an invitation to come closer, and Alex wrapped her arms around his waist, her cheek resting up against his chest. She felt his wings curl around them, and the seraph's lips pressed up against the top of her head. "I'm sorry that I had to leave so suddenly. I would prefer to be around more, but without Michael, no one is sure what to do. They need someone to look up to."
"And that someone's you," Alex finished, pulling back to look Castiel in the eyes. "Right?"
"At the moment." Castiel tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I know I may be far away, but if there's anything that you need at any time, just pray to me. I will always answer you." He dipped his head to kiss her, and Alex's eyes fluttered closed.
His lips pressed harder against hers, and Alex pulled back, her hand going up to gently cup his cheek. "Listen," she started, "Cas, about last night …" She stepped away to return to the couch, and the seraph followed, his eyes squinting nervously at the impending conversation. He sat down on the couch, and Alex positioned herself on the coffee table across from him, reaching forward to put one hand on his knee. "I know you want this — I know you want kids —"
"Fledglings," Castiel cut in. "That's what we call them."
"Fledglings." Alex tasted the name out on her tongue. "That's cute. I like it. And I want them too, one day. But I can't — I need time to adjust, Castiel. I can't do it right now. Between suddenly being an angel, a-and my nightmares about Lucifer. He was there again last night. I couldn't see him, but I — I could feel him." She shivered at the memory. "He's just so … cold, and I can feel it."
"Cold?" Castiel repeated her, his eyes darkening with concern, and Alex jumped as she felt something push against her, a warm, probing, invisible force.
"Yeah," she agreed. "Cold. What — what are you doing?" She looked down at her stomach, searching for the source of the feeling, but she saw nothing, and it disappeared.
"Nothing." Castiel straightened up in his seat, and Alex frowned, displeased at how quickly he spoke. "It's probably nothing," he began, "but it feels … it feels like some of Lucifer's grace has remained with yours. I don't know how that could have happened, but …" He shook his head, dismissing his thoughts. "It will fade," he promised, "and when it does, the nightmares will stop." He leaned forward again, and his lips pressed up against her forehead. "Until then, you need me to wait, so I will wait, le pas enay."
Alex's face warmed under his touch, but his words had her brow creasing. "Cas, I don't — what does that mean?"
"It's Enochian." Castiel pulled away, his hands falling back into his lap. "One day, when your grace is fully formed, you'll be able to understand it." The couch creaked as he pushed himself to his feet, and Alex scrambled up to give him room to stand. "I have someone I need to speak with," he murmured. "I won't be gone long." His wings lifted up and thrust downwards, and then he was gone.
...
The afternoon came, and then it went, and then the evening went quickly with it. As the light disappeared from the sky, Alex reluctantly retired to bed. She tossed her book onto the mattress as she shucked off her jacket, lips pursing as she watched it bounce on its spine and fall onto the floor on the other side of the bed. Castiel had promised to return to earth and retrieve her laptop, but the seraph apparently hadn't had time. Not that it mattered — did heaven even have wifi?
She collapsed on the bed, her good wing straining as she reached down for her book. She muttered a curse under her breath as her finger brushed across the cover, just out of her reach, and she didn't hear the flutter of wings until a body hit the floor.
Alex scrambled upwards, eyes wide as she spun around in search of the source. Castiel was kneeling by the door, his navy wings drawn in tight as he curled inwards. Blood trickled down his face, dripping from his temple, and Alex's bare feet slipped on the hardwood floor as she rushed to his side. "Cas? What the hell?" She dropped down beside him, taking his face in her hands. "What happened?"
"I'm sorry." Castiel lifted his eyes, his teeth grit in pain, and he drew in a short, ragged breath. "I — I talked with Raphael," he growled.
"And he … he did this?" Alex scrubbed at the drying blood on his face, trying to clean it off to find the source. She felt something well up inside of her, something warm and urgent, and Castiel reached out to gently move her hand away.
"I'll be fine," he promised. "Killing me wasn't his intention." He straightened up, his wings curling forward to take Alex's head in his hands. "It's you that I'm worried about. Raphael has threatened to destroy everyone who stands with me tomorrow morning."
"Stand with you?" Alex spoke the words even as the answer came to mind, but she still narrowed her eyes, tipping her head to the side to feign confusion.
"Raphael wants to open up the Cage and release Lucifer and Michael." Castiel grunted in pain, shifting so he was kneeling in front of her. "I told him … I wouldn't let that happen, and he thinks …" He shifted again, hissing in pain, and he doubled over at the waist. "He thinks that I am going to stand against him."
"Are you?"
Castiel's eyes lifted to her face. "Yes. I have to because no one else will." His blunt nails dug into Alex's smooth skin in a moment of unchecked anger before he quickly quelled it and loosened his grip. "Raphael will kill you, if you're lucky. And if you're not …"
Alex rested from flinching away at the implications. "It's okay," she insisted, reaching up to take his wrists in her hands. "He can't hurt me, Cas."
"You don't know that." Castiel blinked blood out of his eyes, and Alex leaned back on her heels as he staggered to his feet. "He's an archangel. Not even I can stop him."
"Yeah, I saw what happened last time," Alex joked dryly. Her broken wing twitched at the memory of Lucifer, and she stifled a hiss of pain. Castiel moved past her, and Alex twisted to watch him disappear into the bathroom. "Wait, Cas, where are you going?" She scrambled to her feet and hurried after him, eyes narrowed to find that the seraph had moved through the bathroom and into the wide closet. His wings hid most of his actions, but Alex could see that he was grabbing her clothes and shoving them into … something. "Cas?"
"I'm packing your things." Castiel pushed her sweatshirt on top of everything else and zipped up the bag, and he turned to press it into her arms. "You can't stay here." His fingers wrapped around her wrist, and then the house was gone.
The world spun at a nauseating speed, and then they were someplace dark. And it was raining. Alex clutched her bag tightly to her chest, blinking water out of her eyes. "What do you mean? What's going on?"
"I'm sorry, but heaven is no longer safe." Castiel's fingers didn't leave her wrists, and Alex lifted her good wing to try and shield her from the downpour that was already soaking through her clothes. "Until it is, I need you to stay here. With Dean."
"Dean? But —"
"There's no time for buts." Castiel's face caught in the glow of a streetlamp, just enough to illumine the worry that glittered in his eyes. "I'd explain everything if I had the time, but I don't." His hand moved up to grip her face, holding her close. "Goodbye, Alex?"
"Goodbye? No, I —"
"I can't risk coming back." The seraph's hair was already plastered to his scalp, dripping down his face to wash away the drying blood. "Not until I know that it's safe." He leaned down, his voice dropping into a murmur. "I won't let them find you." He kissed her, his lips pressing softly against hers, and Alex hesitated for only a second before she kissed him back, her free arm going up to wrap around his shoulders and draw him near. His wings rose up, shielding them from the rain, and for the briefest of seconds, Alex felt safe. Nothing could hurt her, not Lucifer nor Raphael —
Castiel pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers. "I love you," he promised, and then he was gone.
"Cas! Wait!" Alex spoke the words to empty air, and her wings dropped low. "I … love you, too." With a sigh, she clutched her bag tighter as she looked around. She was standing on a sidewalk in front of a two-story house. Lights shone through the curtains, a promise that someone was home, and, unsure what else to do, Alex started up the driveway.
The porch offered shelter from the driving rain, and the young angel stifled a shiver as she reached up to ring the doorbell. She heard movement from inside, and Alex shifted on her cold feet as she waited for the door to unlock. It cracked open, and a woman looked out at her, confusion darkening her face. "Hello? Can I help you?"
"Uh, yeah. Is … is Dean — Dean Winchester — is he around?" Alex tried to peer past the woman to see into the house, and her good wing pulled in tightly as she shivered.
"Dean?" The woman — it had to be Lisa — leaned back into the house to call out the hunter's name. "There's someone here to see you." She stepped away from the door, holding it open with an arm, and Alex watched as Dean appeared in the hallway, a beer in his hand. He stopped dead at the sight of her, and Alex managed to flash a weak smile.
"Alex." Dean's eyes flickered over to Lisa, a question in his eyes before they returned back to the angel. "What, uh … what are you doing here?"
"It's a bit of a long story." Alex brushed her wet hair out of her face, and her waterlogged shoes squeaked as she shifted. "Can I please come in?"
"Of course, of course." Lisa hurriedly stepped out of the way to let Alex in, and the angel stepped onto the wooden floors, her cheeks flushing as a puddle began to form beneath her feet. "Let me get you a towel."
Lisa hurried away, leaving Alex alone with Dean, and the Winchester's face immediately darkened. "What the hell are you doing here?" he whispered, and Alex's wings ruffled at his angry tone.
"What do you mean?" she retorted. "I thought you'd be glad to see me. Thanks," she added when Lisa returned with a towel, and Alex rubbed it against her soaked hair. "I hope I'm not intruding. Is this a bad time?"
"Not at all." Lisa stopped next to Dean, her white teeth flashing in a confused smile. "Please, come on in and sit down." She gestured towards the living room, and Alex paused from where she was rubbing the towel against her t-shirt.
She glanced up at Dean, gauging his reaction, but the Winchester's face was blank. "I have some dry clothes I can put on," she suggested, gesturing to her bag. "Is there a bathroom that I can change in?"
She was pointed down the hall, and the angel hurried into it. Most of her clothes were soaked, but she was able to recover some towards the center that were just slightly damp. She tugged them on over her wings and, unsure what else to do, shoved her wet clothes back into her bag and zipped it up.
Lisa and Dean were seated on the blue couch by the time she returned, and Alex dropped her damp duffle bag onto the floor by the stairs as she joined the two in the living room. "So, Alex," Dean began as she dropped down into the chair across from them, "what brings you here? I thought you'd be, you know … elsewhere."
Alex pursed her lips at the forced cheerfulness in his tone. "There's been some problems," she slowly began. "I … it's difficult to explain." Her eyes flickered over Lisa, and she saw how Dean's jaw ticked; he understood what she meant. "Cas said it would be safer here."
Dean's eyes darkened to a different shade of green, and his teeth dug into his bottom lip as he thought. "Hey, Lisa, can you go get Alex a beer?"
Lisa hesitated, her face tightening momentarily at the request but, upon seeing how stiffly Dean sat, she complied. "I should make sure Ben's still doing his homework," she murmured, and Alex watched as she walked away.
"It's heaven." Alex leaned forward in her chair as she whispered out the confession. "Something's going on, and it must be bad if Cas thinks I'm better off here." She reached up to rub at the back of her neck with a dark scowl. "Raphael kicked his ass."
"Okay, so?" The concern that flickered across Dean's face was quickly quelled. "I'm not your babysitter. I have a life of my own."
Alex's good wing ruffled in anger. "I don't need a babysitter!" she hissed. "I'm an adult, Dean, I can take care of myself."
"Well obviously you can't, or you wouldn't be here —" Dean cut off sharply as Lisa returned, and Alex leaned back in her seat as she fought to push down her frustrations. "Thanks, Lis," he said. Alex echoed him as she accepted the beer, and she cracked it open with a grimace.
"Yeah, no problem." Lisa sat back down next to Dean, and Alex took a pull from the bottle. "Is there anything else I can get you?" She put a hand on Dean's knee as she spoke, her fingers rubbing gentle, comforting circles.
"Actually, Alex was just on her way out, weren't you?" Beneath Dean's light words was a sharp command, and he rose to his feet.
Alex's jaw tightened, but set her drink down and rose to her feet. "And where am I supposed to go, Dean?" she hissed. "I can't go back — I can't even fly because Lucifer broke my wing." She ignored Lisa's confusion as she squared up against Dean. "What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to leave." Dean shoved her bag and her beer back into her hand. "Thanks for stopping by, but I'm not in that game anymore." He pushed her back out the door, and Alex flinched as the door slammed shut behind her.
"Dean!" Her shout was lost under a clap of thunder, and she dropped her bag at her feet as she heard the door lock with a click. "Come on, Dean, don't do this to me!" She dropped down on the front step with a huff. The lights went out, leaving her in the dark, and Alex shifted backwards to settle up against the wooden support post as she curled her good wing around her body. Her injured wing twitched at the cold rain, and she drew her arms tightly around her chest as she drifted into thought.
...
The rain had stopped by the early morning, and the dew glimmered in the light of the rising sun. The neighborhood was waking up, but Alex barely noticed; she stared off into the distance, eyes glassy as she drifted somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. A car horn blared off in the distance. Two cats screamed at each other from somewhere down the street. All of the sounds were caught, categorized, but not fully processed. There was movement in the house behind her as the family awoke, and Alex finally started to pull herself out of her head. The movement was drawing closer, sharpening into clear footsteps, and Alex snapped back into reality as the door opened. "Alex?" Lisa stood in the doorway, her hair damp and eyes still bleary. "You're back early."
"I never left." The admittance ended in a quiet groan as Alex unfolded her wings, grimacing at the stiffness in her limbs as she stretched out on the porch. "What time is it?"
"Are you serious? You've been out here all night?" Lisa's eyes went wide, and when Alex shrugged, she quickly ushered the young angel inside. "Come on, come on. It's warm inside. Dean!"
Lisa marched further into the house and, unsure what else to do, Alex trailed after her, wings drawn in close at the anger in Lisa's voice. At the back of the house was the kitchen, and Alex's eyes flickered to the table before they dropped onto the ground. Dean sat there, his jaw tight and his eyes dark. A boy sat across from him, his spoonful of cereal half-raised to his mouth as his gaze flickered across the three of them. "What is she doing here?" Dean's chair creaked as he pushed himself to his feet, and he scowled over at Alex. "What are you doing here?"
"Alex — it is Alex, right?" Lisa waited for Alex to give a small nod before she planted her hands on her hips. "Alex spent the entire night on the front step. You told me she had somewhere she could go!"
"She does," Dean retorted, and Alex's tennis shoes scuffled on the floor as she shifted uncomfortably.
Lisa's arms folded across her chest. "Dean, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked, her voice thin and forced, and Alex sidestepped to let her through. Dean followed, his face darkening in frustration, and Alex listened as their footsteps headed towards the front of the house.
The kitchen fell silent, and Alex finally lifted her head to see that the boy was watching her out of the corner of his eye. "Hey." Alex drew her wings in tight as she tried not to eavesdrop on the conversation happening down the hall. "You're Ben, right?"
"Yup." Ben's eyes dropped back down onto his breakfast, and Alex watched as he shoved a spoonful of cereal into his mouth.
"My name's Alex," she added when he didn't add anything further.
"Yeah, I know."
Ben didn't look up as he spoke, and Alex snorted in amusement. "Alright, smart-ass," she muttered.
She circled around to lean up against the island, toying with a spoon that lay discarded on the stone counter, and after a second, Ben looked up. "Did you actually spend all night outside our house?" he asked, and when Alex nodded, he tipped his head. "Why?"
"Because I've lost my home. There's … people … who are after me, and I can't stay where I was. But they won't find me here," she added hurriedly as a promise, praying the words didn't sound as empty as they felt.
"Like the police?" Ben's eyes went wide, his interest piqued, and Alex shrugged.
"Not exactly," she said. "It's kind of more like a … a gang," she finally decided, and she twisted the spoon as she waited. "It's complicated." She turned her head as footsteps approached, and the spoon clattered as she straightened up. Lisa and Dean stepped into the room, and Alex's wings flitted nervously at the frown on Dean's face. "I'm sorry to bother you guys," she rushed. "I — I can leave."
"No, no, no." Lisa reached out a hand to stop Alex, and the angel blinked in surprise. "Actually, we want you to stay. Here, with us for as long as you need to." She smiled as she spoke, and Alex couldn't help buy cast a look off towards Dean; the Winchester looked less than enthused. "There's a spare bedroom upstairs. Dean will show you where it is. As for you," she added over to Ben, "you should be getting ready for school. We're leaving in five minutes."
Ben scurried away, and Alex listened to him run off up the stairs. "I can take him," Dean offered, but Lisa shook her head.
"It's your day off, and I drive by school on the way to work anyways," she promised, and she pressed a kiss on Dean's cheek. Alex shifted uncomfortably, and Lisa smiled over at her. "Make yourself at home," she instructed. "I've already taken in one misfit — what's another one?" She patted Dean on the cheek before she left the room, leaving Alex and Dean alone.
"Dean …" Alex stepped out from around the island, her one good wing stretching downwards in an appeasing gesture. "I didn't mean to just intrude like this …"
"Well, you did, and now you get to stay," Dean muttered, and he reluctantly let his anger fall away. "And Lisa's the boss around here, so .."
"So thanks for not pushing back too much." Alex heard the slam of the front door and the roaring of a car engine, and she peered past Dean down the hall that led towards the front of the house. "I'll try and stay out of your way as much as I can."
"Don't worry about it. Come on, I'll show you upstairs." Dean waved her after him back down the hall, and Alex hurried after him, grabbing her bag from where it sat still on the porch before she jumped up the stairs. Dean was standing near a door at the far end of the upstairs hallway, and as Alex approached, he held out his hand. "Here. You left in the motel room back before … you know."
Alex accepted her phone with a thin grin. "Thanks, Dean." She unlocked the screen to see the notifications that flashed across it, and the grin disappeared. 23 missed calls. She moved past Dean into the spare bedroom, dropping her bag onto the floor. "If you want, I can go to Bobby's. Just … give me a few days to get back on my feet." She turned back to look at the Winchester as she added, "I just don't get it. I thought you'd be happy to see me again."
"Honestly?" Dean joined her in the room and dropped down onto the bed; the mattress creaked beneath his weight. "I am. But I don't want anything to do with my old life anymore, now that … now that Sam's gone." His voice cracked around his brother's name, and Alex's good wing curled forward in sympathy. "He's gone, and I have Lisa and Ben," he continued after a second, his voice growing stronger. "And I can't put them in danger by anything that's going on between you and Cas."
"Nothing's going on between us." Alex joined him on the bed. "He dropped me off here because … 'cause I think he knew that if I stayed in heaven, I'd be in danger. But the angels won't look for me here. And," she added with a small tease, "to tell you the truth, I'm okay with getting out of the hunting life. It never really was my style." Dean's lips quirked up in a half-smile, and Alex elbowed him. "Besides, I'll fit right in. I'm a pro at suburban living."
"Well, you'll have to give me some pointers." Dean pushed himself to his feet with a small chuckle. "So, you and Cas, huh?"
Alex felt her face flush, and she turned to watch him lean up against the doorframe. "We're not having this conversation again," she retorted, and she was met by Dean's smirk.
"So, have you guys …" Dean lifted his eyebrows to fill in his sentence, and he grinned at her scowl. "God, the two of you wouldn't know sexual tension if it hit you in the fucking face."
"Shut it." Alex reached for a pillow to throw at him, but the Winchester easily batted it out of the air. "I know what sex is, Dean. I'm just —" Her wings twitched, and she flinched at the pain and the memories that it evinced. "We're — I'm — working through some things, and that's just not on the table. Not now." She fidgeted in her seat, unsure what else to say, and after a moment she forced a smile to lighten the mood. "Hey, fun fact, did you know what baby angels are called fledglings?"
"No. That's weird." Dean rapped on the doorframe twice as he straightened up. "Alright, I'll let you get settled in. If you need anything, let me know. I'll be downstairs." Alex nodded, and she watched as Dean walked away, his footsteps disappearing down the stairs. With a sigh, she turned back to the room around her. Cas? She lifted her eyes up towards the ceiling. Please. Let me know that you're okay.