As promised, the next chapter is already here! It contains one of the first scenes I've written for this story, therefore it would be great if you'd let me know what you think. But now enjoy!
Chapter 6 - Rooms
Donna had already changed into her nightgown - grey sweatpants and a dark grey Harvard T-shirt - when she heard a small knock on her door. She frowned and thought about who it could be at her door at this time, since she knew - or at least had supposed - that everyone was already in their respective rooms. She opened the door and saw herself faced with a coy Harvey Specter in his sleeping clothes.
"Uh, sorry to bother you again, but my room is, uhm, kinda occupied by some people." He sheepishly ran his fingers through his hair and scratched the back of his head, burying the other hand in his pockets and nervously flexing his biceps muscle in the process. "The guys we offered to stay at our place are all in Mike's room and mine, and now there's no place left for me. And I didn't know where else to go."
She gave him an incredulous look, not sure if he was joking or serious, but his insecure manner convinced her that he was sincere. It slowly dawned to her that they probably hadn't really thought the whole "letting your friends stay in the apartment" thing through.
And he seemed to actually have no clue what he was supposed to do, she could see on his face that he realized that the only remaining options were the couch or the floor - not exactly the most comfortable places to sleep. She only thought about her next sentence for a fraction of a second, and the words already spilled out of her mouth before she was able to reconsider.
"Okay Harvey, I won't let you sleep on the floor or on the couch. I definitely don't want to be the reason why you complain about any kind of pain caused by that. You only have to promise you'll keep your hands by yourself and won't even think about anything more than sleep in my bed." She gave him a warning look at her last words, half joking and half serious. Scolding herself and trying to ignore the upcoming thought in her that she would probably not actually do anything against it if he did.
He opened his mouth to protest, but then he closed it again when he thought about the fact that sleeping in a bed would definitely be much more comfortable than the other alternatives he had right now. And that this was actually the reason he came to her, Mike wasn't an option since he was in Rachel's room and his own room was also occupied by half of the guests. Three people for each bed were already almost too much, four would be rather impossible.
"Okay, well, then I guess I have to thank you." He gave her a bashful smile from the side before his hand disheveled his hair once again. When he realized that he was already repeating this motion, he inwardly chastised himself - he was reluctant to admit it to himself but he was sort of nervous in her presence. Especially with the current prospect of sharing a bed with her.
But he told himself that there was no reason for him to feel that way around her, and also that sleeping in one bed next to her wouldn't be a problem. Though he had to admit that the thought of that may have affected him in some kind of way.
Since they were both already in their night clothes they didn't have to change first. She gestured him to get in, and he took a few steps inside before he halted his movements and stilled awkwardly in the middle of her room. He glanced around and realized that this was the first time he was inside her room - actually the first time he has ever seen more of it than the usual glimpse of her cupboard when she opened her door to slip out.
Donna had already closed her door and was now leaning against it, observing him from her angle with arms crossed in front of her body, her head tilted slightly to the left. She was only able to see his back but she could nevertheless read from his posture that he was nervous, and she noticed that he didn't really know what he should do next.
Then he spotted something, and was glad that he had found something he could break the awkward silence with. "Uh, nice cactus," he pointed with his finger at it, trying to not think about the fact that this wasn't exactly the best way to start a conversation.
Donna closed her eyes and slightly shook her head, a smile scurrying over her face. It was just like him to find the probably most boring thing in her room to talk about. "Thanks," she chuckled.
Then she pushed herself off the door and walked towards her bed, sat down on one side before looking up to him again. "You know, to sleep in this bed you somewhen have to actually get on it," she challenged him with one of her eyebrows raised, "I mean, you can still sleep on the floor if that's what you prefer but I think this bed is big enough for two people to sleep in it next to each other - not forcing them to sleep on top of each other." The last part of her sentence sounded sort of wrong the second after she had pronounced it but it was too late to take it back so she just hoped he wouldn't take it wrong.
Harvey finally woke from his rigidity and slowly stepped in her direction, lowering himself on the mattress eventually. He tried to keep a reasonable distance from her, so he just stayed at the edge of the bed and draped one of the blankets over his feet. Pulling it up to his chest, he then interlaced his fingers and let his hands rest on his stomach.
They lay next to each other, both lying on their back and staring at the ceiling in an awkward silence. Tapping the thumb of his right hand against his other, he was the one who finally broke the quiet. "I have to ask you something."
She knitted her brows and turned her head to face him. She had absolutely no idea what he was going to ask - which was something she didn't experience very often - and she just hoped that it wasn't a direction she without a doubt did not want to talk about with him right know. "What?"
"Why do you have the '206' on your door?"
She exhaled and tried to convince herself that she wasn't as relieved as she was when he pronounced this harmless question.
"That's actually not a really exciting story," she smiled absentmindedly, letting her thoughts drift back to some old memories. "The apartment I used to live in before I moved in here had the number 206, and I wanted to have something on my door in here - not my name but something else that's a bit less lame - so I decided to go for the number." She shrugged, half apologetic and half embarrassed, blushing a bit and thanking the darkness for covering her colored cheeks. She wasn't sure how he was going to react but she just hoped that he wouldn't think that this was extremely dumb.
"That's nice," his voice was low but soft, a tone she hadn't heard him use very often yet. In fact, if she remembered correctly - and she was pretty sure that she wasn't mistaken about that - he had only used that voice when he had been alone with her. So either he only used that voice when he was alone with someone, or he really only used that voice with one person alone, namely...
She didn't allow herself to finish that thought, the warm flutter in her stomach she had felt when he spoke his sentence already too much for her to even form a straight thought again.
They lapsed into silence again, before she decided to overcome her inhibitions and do something she hadn't thought she'd do when she had first met him.
"I, uh -" she began to stutter, not really able to form the right sentences she thought she had already had in mind only seconds ago. "I think I should tell you about the last roommate we had. And the real reason he moved out," she then was finally able to say, still a bit cautious how his reaction would be.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, it's not like you owe me anything." She didn't know that this was possible but his voice grew even softer now. She almost got flustered by the effect it had on her but she casted that off and directed her focus back on what she was about to tell him.
"No, I... I think you deserve to know a bit more about all of it," she began, still not comprehending completely why she suddenly opened up. She didn't grasp the why, she only knew that it sort of didn't feel wrong to tell him. It felt wrong to not tell him.
He had grown to one of her closest friends, and she felt like she could trust him with anything. She still had hesitations about what he'd think about her after she told him, but in her current - admittedly slightly more open, thanks to the alcohol in her system - state she was ready to take that risk. Because deep down she had the feeling that he wouldn't make fun of it or something. And she just felt like he deserved an explanation, even though she didn't exactly knew for what since it wasn't like he had done anything similar. 'Yet,' her brain added, and she tried her best to shake off that last thought.
His throat bobbed at her words, he had a vague idea about what she was going to disclose to him but he didn't know if he was ready to hear the story or if he even wanted to know it. Shifting his position a little to cover the slightly uncomfortable feeling inside him, he waited for her to carry on.
She also swallowed and gathered her thoughts, taking a deep breath before she began to speak. "So, uh, you already know that your predecessor moved out because of my rule."
He slowly nodded though he wasn't even sure if she would see it in the dark, but she noticed it and continued.
"Well, to be more exact he moved out so that I wouldn't have any more excuses to not go out with him. I'll save you all the details but when he had moved out, I agreed to seeing him."
She had to pause before she could resume, and he remained silent next to her, knowing that she would proceed at some point. He understood that this wasn't something she'd tell any stranger in a few minutes, so he gave her the time she needed.
And also it was a protection for himself so that he wouldn't lash out - especially since it would hit the wrong person. He hadn't heard the full story yet but he had sort of a bad feeling about it and he had already clenched his jaw and his fists, full in protective mode. But he knew that she wouldn't appreciate him being angry at a guy he hadn't even met yet, and technically had no real reason to be angry about - or maybe even jealous of.
"Well, the short form is that this son of a..." she inhaled deeply to overcome the anger that had built up in her.
Before this conversation, it had always more felt like pain and a deep aching when she thought or talked about it, but this time she was just angry at the person who admittedly crushed her heart a few months ago. "Anyway, it turned out he had a girlfriend all this time, and after some weeks he casually told me that he moved back to her after he had moved out from here. And as you can probably imagine this was the end of our 'relationship'." She emphasized her last word with a scoffing tone.
At first he didn't say anything, and she was worried that he had either fallen asleep or he was judging her for falling for such an idiot, but then she heard him say something.
"I'm sorry, Donna." His smooth voice once again was enough to make her feel a bit better immediately. She then felt the knuckle of his right index finger brush against the back of her left hand that was lying next to her body. At first she wasn't sure if she had just imagined it but then she also noticed a low rustle - the noise that an arm moving over the sheets would make - and then she was pretty sure that it hadn't been a product of her imagination.
She swallowed and tried not to flinch, surprised by his touch, the familiar warm flutter in her stomach starting to spread in her body again. She didn't know how or what to reply so she decided to go for the probably easiest response.
And so there it was again, the silence they always lapsed into. It wasn't uncomfortable but for the first time it felt sort of strange, like they had just shared an intimate moment that one usually only shared with one's significant other. But on the other hand, it also didn't feel strange but familiar. Normal.
Finally, Harvey thought that it would be probably best if they actually went to sleep - or at least tried to find some rest. "Good night, Donna," he whispered and looked her in the eyes, letting his gaze linger on her for a moment. Then he turned around so that he faced the wall, making sure they had at least some visual distance between them, their physical proximity not making anything exactly easier.
"Good night," she breathed almost inaudible but Harvey heard it and his lips curled. The presence of the respective other made it hard for both of them to focus on anything else, even less let them fall asleep. But eventually they both doze off with their backs turned to each other, none of them able to see the slight smile on the other's face.
—
Next day in the morning, Harvey was a little disorientated when he woke up. He hadn't opened his eyes yet but he felt that something was different from all the last mornings he had woken up in his new home. Then he finally remembered bit by bit what had happened the day - better said night - before. Where he was. Donna's room.
Donna.
He tensed and opened his eyes widely, then he carefully peeked to his right. There she was lying, peacefully sleeping and facing him, her auburn hair spread over the pillow and a few locks hanging in her face. A soft smile appeared on his face and he relaxed immediately when he saw her like that. He still didn't quite understand why, but she had a calming effect on him.
Only now he realized that she was lying pretty close to him and he swallowed hard. Not that he didn't appreciate being close to her but he wasn't sure how she would feel about their current proximity, considering how clear she had made her rule.
The only thing he was pretty sure about was that she would clearly blame him and bite his head off, although he didn't even know who closed up on whom.
With a small smile on his face he shook his head at these thoughts. He didn't want to raise her out of her sleep and find them in this slightly awkward situation, so he slowly began to sit up. Avoiding sudden movements so he wouldn't awake her, he carefully rested his weight on his forearms. At this very moment he felt that something was clutching his right hand. Someone.
'Holy shit.' His mind wasn't able to form any other thoughts, and he froze his movements on the spot.
He was wondering why he hadn't noticed that earlier but he slowly realized that it had just felt so normal. So familiar. Almost as if they were used to this. And to be honest with himself he enjoyed the feeling of her skin under his touch.
Absentmindedly he brushed his thumb over the back of her hand, and a faint smile appeared on his face again. He had to admit, he could really get used to it.
Suddenly realizing what he was doing, he stopped and every fiber of his body told him to leave as soon as possible. He didn't know what all of this was or what it meant, it was a bit too much for him to comprehend at the moment. He almost wanted to flee out of her room right away, but he needed to be careful and not hectic so he restrained his sudden urge to escape.
He gently removed his own hand from hers and prayed that she wouldn't wake up right in this moment. He wasn't ready to get caught in this current state - not after they already had a similarly awkward encounter a few days earlier - and he clearly didn't want to talk with her about what had happened here.
Missing the touch of her skin almost immediately after their hands parted, feeling like a small part inside of him was missing, he got out of the bed quietly and sneaked to the door.
While he reached out for the door handle he paused for a moment and took a second to look over his shoulder. She was still lying in her bed and hadn't moved since he had left. Solely the image that was presented right in front of him induced a warm feeling in him and flooded through his whole body.
It was the first time he realized how intense all of this was, and though the sensation wasn't unpleasant at all, it made his head spin around with almost surreal speed. He wasn't used to this feeling, and what confused him was the fact that it made him feel sort of vulnerable. And that was something he was really scared of.
He has never been good at dealing with emotions, but he had never felt like he did right now before, so that frightened him even more.
But what terrified him the most was that he didn't want this feeling - that almost felt like weakness - to end.
Ultimately, he was able to avert his look from her and opened the door noiselessly. It closed with a small squeak, and finally outside her room - on neutral ground - Harvey let out a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He leaned against the door he had just shut and closed his eyes. Not sure what to do or think about everything he had experienced in the last few minutes, he tilted his head back and slowly ran his hands over his face.
He felt empty inside, not knowing how to deal with everything that had happened and also missing the touch of a certain person, so he decided to take a shower to take his mind off all this.
Unknown to him, on the other side of the door Donna was already sitting up in her bed. She ran her hand through her hair and tried to gather her thoughts, to process what had just happened.
She was awake before him and pretty much the first thing she noticed was that their hands were entangled, their fingers intertwined. Normally her first instinct would have been to instantly remove her hand, but this time, with him, it was different. Again.
She didn't know - let alone let her mind totally understand - why, but she enjoyed the feeling of his fingers between hers. The feeling of his skin against hers, even though it were just their hands. Though it felt like his palm and fingers set her own skin on fire, his warmth, his pure presence, had a calming effect on her.
When she felt that he was about to wake up she sort of panicked and pretended to still be asleep. She didn't want to be confronted with him right in that moment, she knew she didn't have a clue of how that conversation could possibly go. And she was pretty sure he didn't want to discuss this situation either, since they also never talked about the towel-incident. Or the events the night before that day, after they had come home dripping wet. Or in general anything regarding the topic of them, since it has always been sort of off-limits - mainly ascribable to her rule.
She sensed and felt all of his movements, even though she realized that he was trying to not wake her. When he started to graze over her hand so gently, his thumb running over her skin and barely touching her, it was like his finger left a trail of fire on her hand and she felt like her heart would explode and burst into thousands of pieces.
Although she missed the warmth of his hand holding hers the second he removed it, she also was a bit relieved that he had decided to leave her room. She wasn't sure how much longer she would have been able to stay fake-asleep with him affecting her that much.
After she heard the familiar sound of her door closing, she opened her eyes and blinked a few times before she got herself in an upright position in her bed.
She swallowed, leaned against the headboard and put her head back, before she allowed herself to think about what had happened here.
A lot of things crossed her mind in that very moment, but one thought was particularly present: 'Holy shit.'
Her mind told her that she shouldn't be doing all of that. Enjoying this. Waking up next to him. His presence. His hand clasping hers. Her hand grasping his. She had her rule after all.
But she just didn't know how to change any of that. And she wasn't sure if she even wanted it to change.
So, like I said there's gonna be a little break now for this story, I'll hopefully be back when all my exams are over (that's approximately around the time when Season 8 premieres).
And also after my exams I'm afraid that my updates are going to be a bit (ok maybe even very) sporadic, life and uni unfortunately don't always give me all the time I'd like to have for all the things I want to do. But I hope that you'll still read it when I come back with a new chapter eventually (I already apologize in advance for me needing ages to continue this story)
Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter, and also the story itself so far! And as always: I'd love to hear what you think, so if you have time, you could make my day by leaving a review!
Chapter 7 preview: the can opener will be back