Elissa hunched into herself, making the icy chains dig into her wrists on purpose. She was locked in a room in the depths of Skyhold, a single torch her only source of light. The trip back from the Arbour Wilds had been a blur of darkness and pain—she couldn't even remember being placed here—but perhaps that was for the best. A patrol of Inquisition guards stood vigil outside, and she could hear their armour clinking through the door that barred her inside.

A sliver of blood trickled down her forearm and Elissa watched, the bright red a stark contrast to her own pallor. So much of her was already wracked with injuries, yet none rivalled the agonies turning over in her mind. Tears stained her right cheek, while the other remained caked in blood from where Zevran had plunged his dagger. His assault had been brutal, and it had achieved exactly what he'd wanted. She'd lost control and done the unthinkable. Not only that, her left eye was gone, an empty socket of raw pain; just like her heart. Every moment since its loss echoed through Elissa, feeding the vile sickness in her chest. All she had feared had come to pass, and the memories kept replaying over and over, reminding her of her failure. She let out a whimper, digging her fingers into her scalp.

Clashes of steel, screams of agony, she's nothing, kill her, kill her!

A gust of wind pushes me away. Alistair breaks through, taking Lahara to safety. Hawke is on the ground, gasping, clawing to escape despite her wounds. My hand reaches automatically, snatching her shirt. Soon I have her throat. She doesn't even have the strength to struggle, the tattoos on her body writhing. All I can see is the Shard on her forehead. My other hand rises, bringing my spear to align with it. It is mine, my power, my birth-right!

"Elissa!"

Bethany howls. She grabs my wrist, twisting. My spear misses. Instead it cuts Bethany's hand. She shrieks. The sound shatters through my soul, and I fall, lost, mad, hurt, alone. My grip on Hawke fails. Then thunderous pain slams between my shoulders. I choke, knocked onto my front, my hands bound behind me. Before I can fight back my head is pressed to the ground. Magic seeps through my skin and I lose consciousness…

Voices stirred from the door, but Elissa didn't move. Though the dense oak muffled much, she could still pick out words.

"…see her!"

Leliana.

"…under orders…no-one…too dangerous!"

The argument continued, until a strangled cry brought it to an abrupt end. A key twisted in a lock, heavy bars were lifted, and then fresh light spilled into the room. It was soon blotted out by Leliana's shadow as she rushed inside, dropping to her knees beside Elissa. She remained close but not touching, her grey-blue eyes roaming over her.

"Maker above…" Leliana shook her head, her focus on Elissa's grievous wound. Her brows narrowed, a cold fury building. "And they saw fit to leave you like this for three days?!" She took Elissa's cheek in her palm, gently lifting her head. "Mon coeur, can you hear me? I'm here."

Elissa managed a short nod. Leliana ran her thumb over her left eye socket, her hand trembling. Her eyes misted with tears, before she pulled Elissa into a tight embrace.

"No!" Elissa pushed back, shrinking back to the wall. Leliana tensed, reminded all too well of their reunion not so long ago.

"Elissa, it's alright," she began, reaching out, but Elissa braced her arms in front of her.

"Don't come any closer!" Elissa snapped. "You want me to hurt you, too?!"

Leliana blinked, then frowned.

"You are clearly back to your senses, Elissa," she said. "Please, you're the one who's hurt…"

Elissa scowled. She folded her chained hands into her lap, curling against the wall. "I'm not dying. Just leave me."

"I will not!" Leliana closed the distance and took Elissa's shoulder. Elissa stiffened, but there was no-where left to run. "You are injured both in body and spirit. I returned as soon as I could from the battle once I heard you'd been brought through the Eluvian." She squared jaw. "I will not sit by and let you suffer so. Not when I can help!"

Elissa turned away.

"You can't help, Leliana," she said quietly. "And this is what I deserve, after what I've done."

"Elissa, you didn't…"

"Don't tell me what I did and didn't do!"

Elissa grabbed Leliana's collar, hoisting her upwards. The rune on her chest blazed, a surge of that white-hot rage bubbling. Elissa gasped. She bit the inside of her cheek, forcing it down. Her arms shook, terror and anger fighting to completely take over.

"Elissa…" Leliana pressed her hands over her lover's, stroking the backs of them. Elissa stared at the ground, her mouth burning, tasting the blood from her own bite. It took several steady breaths until her pulse started to calm, and at last she released Leliana. Once more she curled into her knees, another spell of tears emerging.

"Don't…Don't talk to me." Elissa croaked. "If…If I ever hurt you…"

"Then I won't talk."

Leliana slid her arms around Elissa and pulled her close. Her lips brushed over Elissa's forehead, and she began to run her fingers through her hair. Elissa lay still, Leliana's heart beating strong beneath her ear, the gentle rise and fall of her chest lulling her into a soothing quiet. It was like curling beside a warm fireplace, the perfect antidote to the inferno that had burned her so badly, and she closed her eye.

After a moment of stillness, Leliana took a breath and started to sing. Elissa let her ears take over, following the ebb and flow of notes, allowing them to carry her far away. Leliana wrapped her arms tighter, her voice and touch soothing every part Elissa had wanted to carve out of herself. In this moment, all that mattered was the harmony of sound and comfort and warmth, of tenderness and love, and that though Elissa was broken, defeated by the shadow of her self, there was enough of her that someone still wanted, still thought worthy.

The last verse escaped Leliana, and the two were returned to silence once more. Elissa didn't move, didn't want to break the peace she had been starved for. It didn't matter how fleeting, how temporary this was—she would hold onto it as long as she could.

Leliana's hand moved to Elissa's cheek, soon followed by her lips. They blazed a trail across Elissa's jaw, before finally meeting her own. The kiss was soft, sweet, and as they parted Leliana's eyes shone with adoration. Still she kept her promise, never speaking a word. She didn't have to.

"I love you," Elissa whispered, shivering. "I'm so, so sorry."

She crumpled back into Leliana's embrace, the weight of events starting to smother once more. Leliana stroked her back, and Elissa bit her lip. First Kieran, then Hawke, and Bethany…poor, dear Bethany…

How will she ever trust me again?

Lahara blinked, jolted out of sleep. The blur of her quarters slowly came into focus, revealing the late rays of dusk, and she yawned. Fragments of broken images drifted through her mind, and she rubbed her eyes. She must have been dreaming. Since escaping through the Eluvian, everything had been a crazy rush, and it was hard to keep track. Eliza had given her several lyrium infusions, managing to bring her back from the brink once more, and she had been slipping in and out of sleep ever since. She wasn't even sure what day it was, though Josephine had been in regularly to check on her and give her updates about Bethany.

Maker…Bethany…

Thoughts of her love made Lahara sit up, and she stared distantly at the window. As Alistair had said, both he and Bethany had faced Elissa and brought her back, but it hadn't been without a price. Now Elissa was imprisoned under heavy guard, Hawke had managed to escape with the knowledge of the Well, and Bethany…

A knock interrupted her thoughts, and Lahara stifled another yawn. She was feeling a little stronger, so she made to swivel her legs out of bed—she'd barely been up at all since her return. However, as she made to engage her muscles, a dizzy spell caught her. Grumbling, she gripped the sides of the bed, deciding not to stand just yet.

"Come in." She slid herself back into bed, disappointed. She'd really pushed things too far this time if it was taking her so long to recover.

The door creaked, and soon a dark-haired head emerged up the steps. At last Bethany appeared, her left arm in a sling.

"Oh, this is a nice surprise," Lahara said. "Feeling better, I hope?"

"I'm the one who should be asking you." Bethany's caramel eyes turned fretful at the sight of Lahara, but the Herald flashed a reassuring smile.

"I'm not as bad as I look," she insisted, patting the bed.

"Okay." Bethany acquiesced, coming to sit on the covers beside Lahara. Lahara tried not to look at the bandaged stump that was her left hand. Eliza had done a masterful job, but there had been no salvaging of anything above the wrist.

"Are you sure you're feeling better?" Bethany stroked Lahara's cheek, brushing back the tangled strands of her auburn hair. "You've been sleeping for almost three days."

"I'm getting there," Lahara answered, sneaking her arm around the mage's waist. Bethany soon fit herself against her body, her breath soft and warm against the Herald's neck. Lahara spent a moment idly playing with the mage's hair, unsure what to say. "Um, how's…how's your…"

"It doesn't hurt as much now," Bethany stated, pulling back slightly. She glanced at her wound, the bandages slightly soiled. "It could've been much worse."

"Doesn't mean I can't feel bad about it," Lahara said. "Also, I wasn't only asking about that." She clasped Bethany's hand, knitting their fingers together. "I meant about…Amber, and Elissa, too."

Bethany said nothing for a moment. Her eyes dulled, but didn't yet fall to tears. She licked her lips, mulling through her thoughts.

"At least Amber's alive, and that means we still have a chance to get her back," she said at last.

"Yeah." Lahara's response was muted.

"As for Elissa…I don't know." Bethany's shoulders slumped. "She's under heavy guard somewhere below the dungeons, but no-one will tell me where." Her fist clenched. "I just want to see her and tell her it wasn't her fault. She must be tearing herself up inside."

"Right." Lahara had heard as much from Josephine—it had been an almost unanimous decision by her advisors, bar Leliana, and was greatly supported by her other friends. As much as the Herald had also disagreed, she couldn't disregard the concerns about the safety of the other residents of Skyhold. Until Elissa could prove she could control her power, it was more reassuring this way. Although Lahara knew that truly if Elissa lost control again, nothing in the fortress would really be able to contain her.

"Why is everything so messed up?" Bethany ground her teeth, bitter. "It's all my fault too."

"It isn't, Beth…"

"Of course it is!" Bethany barked, her eyes flaring. "I was the one who forced Elissa to find the Shards! I dragged you into this as well, all for my own selfish wants, and it's…"

"You don't think Zevran would've found another way to trick Elissa?" Lahara countered. "Or that that Megara woman would have left well alone?" She shook her head. "There's been more players behind the Shards than we counted on, Beth, all of whom have been a step ahead of us since the beginning. If it wasn't you, it would've just been someone else."

"I was still the one who set their plans in motion," Bethany whispered. She took Lahara's right hand, pressing it against her heart. "I'm the one who sentenced you all to this fate." Her lip quivered. "I'm…I'm not a fool, Lara. I know the Shard is slowly killing you, and they're doing the same to my sister and to Elissa." Finally her eyes glistened, and she choked back a sob. "I've put the ones I loved the most all to death, and I'm so, so sorry."

"Oh Beth…"

Lahara pulled Bethany into her shoulder, kissing her cheek. Bethany whimpered, clinging to her with all her strength.

"Don't be sorry, please," Lahara said, stroking Bethany's hair. "You did something more important than you'll ever know. You don't need these tears." She slipped her fingers under the mage's chin and tilted her head up. "No matter what's waiting for me, I have no regrets. You're the one who taught me to never give up hope. Now you have to believe the same."

"But you're going to die!" Bethany threw herself into Lahara's chest, her tears soaking the Herald's neck. They were like pinpricks against Lahara's skin, and she bit her lip. "I don't want to lose you!" The mage's breathing hitched. "I can't…not without you…I'll be…all alone…"

Lahara held Bethany tighter, kissing her forehead.

"You're strong, Beth," she said. "Stronger than you know. You'll find a way." She ran her fingers through the mage's hair, drinking in her scent, knowing it could be the last time she could ever have such a moment. "I just ask of you one thing."

"Always." Bethany raised her head, attentive.

"Don't…don't forget me," Lahara said, thinking back to her brother's words. "If you keep me in your thoughts, I won't ever truly disappear. No matter what happens." Her own tears prickled, and it suddenly became hard to keep her voice straight. "Even…even if I vanish from Thedas altogether…" She bit back a sob, her heart quivering. "Promise me, Beth. Promise you'll remember me, and I swear I will see you again someday."

Bethany locked her fingers with Lahara's. The mage pressed her lips to the rune on the back of Lahara's hand, and the Herald shivered.

"I promise," Bethany murmured, nuzzling Lahara's cheek. "I will never, ever forget you, Lara. I love you."

The rest of Lahara's resolve shattered, and she fell into the mage's arms. Her own tears were endless, pouring from a dam that could no longer bear the strain. Why, when she'd finally found all she'd wanted, she had to give it all up? Why couldn't she be selfish like she always had been?

Why does it have to be like this?!

"I love you so much, Beth," Lahara whimpered. "I'm so sorry!"

"Hush." Bethany leant closer, stealing a gentle kiss. Lahara returned it, a quiet passion sparking within. "We still have each other now, in this moment." She pressed her lips to Lahara's cheek, capturing her tears, then moved to her neck. "The future can wait."