8: Konoha Chaos

=|One Year before Danzo's Coup|=

"This is unacceptable!" Hiruzen roared, slamming his fist down onto his desk as the report of the previous night's incident at the Uzumaki compound came to him. "Are you certain that there was no one else?"

Naka and Ko shrunk back under his glare, "Positive, Hokage-sama," Naka volunteered, "Ko-san swept the area three times before we felt comfortable leaving Pakura-san and Naruto-chan alone."

"It's true, Sir," Ko put in, "I wouldn't leave until I knew for sure the area was cleared."

Hiruzen growled adn retook his seat behind his desk, "Alright, that does it." He snapped, his nerves frazzled, "Naka-san, I want you to inform Fugaku that I want trained Inuzuka ninken, and shinobi added to his police force. Three man patrols, plus the ninken, one Uchiha, Hyuuga, and Inuzuka per squad. I don't want any trails to be over looked, understood?"

Naka nodded, "That's a good idea. None of my clansmen are all that good at scent tracking."

"Nor are mine," Ko agreed, "Tsume-san would be happy to try and put...a certain person in his place, even if that meant going against the same sort of shinobi we did last night."

Hiruzen nodded, "That is a good thing, because I feel that I'm going to need all the support I can get in this endeavor." He said, looking at the two officers, "You've done a great service to the village, for that Root Anbu, I know, was one of Danzo's best, and most loyal of subordinates. But it only gets worse from here on out. I am declaring war on any and all Root members you come across. Corner them, and keep them from activating those blasted seals they have on them! I want one of them to talk!"

Naka nodded, "How will we know them?"

"The Anbu of the Foundation, as trained by Danzo, feel no fear, know no love, or hate. They only know how to do as they are told." Hiruzen said, "They are cold, heartless shinobi that wouldn't hesitate to kill an innocent if Danzo so ordered it. The show no real emotion at all. You can always pin them by their fake smiles." The aging Hokage sighed, "But be warned, within this Foundation are members from each clan, your own included, I'm sure. The Yamanaka were especially of use to him because of their mind reading abilities. Aburame were called in for their insects...of the Hyuuga, and the Uchiha...I'm sure you've had a few missing children through out the years?"

Both Doujutsu users growled, knowing that at least one or two children had gone missing.

"We will inform our leaders at once, Hokage-sama," Naka bowed with Ko following suit.

"Post a guard around the Uzumaki compound," Hiruzen said, "There's a very good chance this will happen again. Especially since Naruto-chan is enrolling at the Academy today." He sat back with a sigh as the two men nodded and left the room, "Why he fears the son of our greatest hero growing stronger, I'll never know, nor shall I understand."

=x=

"Kaa-chan, you think I can make any friends?" Naruto asked as Pakura led him by the hand toward the Academy. This was drawing quite a bit of attention from the villagers. Seeing the object of their hatred happy and bright with the foreigner was something they couldn't seem to wrap their minds around. Nor could they understand why said foreigner could willingly spend time, let alone care for, that which they viewed as a demon.

Pakura, ignoring the stares and the glares, laughed, "You already have friends, Naruto-kun," she smiled at him, "Shikamaru-kun and Choji-kun are your friends, aren't they?"

Naruto grinned up at her, "Well, yeah, but I'd like to have a whole lot of friends!" Naruto said, smiling brightly, "Kiba-teme and Sasuke-teme would be great to spar against, and then there's Sakura-chan. She's really pretty...but loud." He winced, remembering when the girl in question had gotten angry at someone. And to think she had been such a shy girl at one point.

"What about Temari-san and Gaara-kun?" Pakura asked as the entered the gates, "Temari-san really liked you, you know?"

Naruto giggled childishly, "Yeah, Temari-chan's great." He said with a small blush on his cheeks. Pakura smiled knowingly as she saw the signs of a childhood crush beginning in the young blond.

As they entered the school yard, many of the parents sent a glare toward the pair, which Pakura returned with a fiery aura around her that had nothing to do with her Shakuton.

Most of the clan heads were there, and smiled when Pakura showed up with little Naruto in tow. Inoichi was the first to greet them with his little girl, Ino, right beside him. Ino, like her father, was a blue-eyed blonde, only her hair was a platinum blonde compared to his sandy blond hair. She was also quite the chatter box.

Hiashi and Fugaku came next, both of whom still had a sort of rivalry going on as the muscled their way to greet the woman, only to be yanked back as none other than Yoshino Nara grabbed them by the ears and told them to behave. Sharing a look with the Nara clan head, both men wondered how Shikaku's ears were still attached.

Now this was something none of the civilians expected. All of the clan heads fussing over a foreigner? Unheard of!

Pakura, of course, took it all in stride, though she did get a few glances from the seemingly unattached members of the clans. I need to start wearing different clothes. She thought as she felt a shiver run down her bare back. She was quite sure that more than a few men were staring at her.

Naruto was caught up in conversation with Shikamaru and Choji, all three of them laughing at something the other said. Ino was right in the thick of it all, chattering away, making her son grin widely.

Another boy with wild brown hair came over to them with a feral look on his face, no doubt one of the Inuzuka children from the red markings on his face and the slit pupils. He was a loud child, and boastful for one so young, Pakura had no doubt that this had to be the child of the clan head, marking him as the heir.

Taking in the gathered children, Pakura saw that many of the clans were gathered right alongside them. Fugaku had a small boy beside him while Hiashi had a little girl hiding behind his leg staring at Naruto shyly.

Temari-chan has a little bit of competition, Pakura thought to herself with a slight smile. Taking in the remaining children, it appeared that only some of the bigger clans had their heirs entering this year. All of these people, though she had only met a few, were well known throughout the elemental nations for their techniques, clans, or Kekkei Genkai. The name, Uzumaki will be making a comeback soon, too.

=|A few weeks later: Suna|=

Temari was, for lack of a better term, bored out of her mind. There happened to be a sand storm howling outside, which not even Gaara would go out in, much as he wanted to. Kankuro was even working on his puppets for a fourth time that day while the girl herself was reading a scroll for a new jutsu to use with her mother's old dai tessen.

She kept hoping that one of the messenger hawks would bring her a letter from Naruto...but then again, Naruto barely knew how to read, thanks to his upbringing. But she was sure Pakura was setting everything right.

Gaara's treatment, thankfully, was better since their father had decided to leave him alone. And he was much more sociable with his siblings, now. Temari especially. He liked hearing her sing to him at night.

But that's where everything pleasant for the boy ended. Shukaku would plague him with nightmares throughout the night, forcing him to keep awake to avoid losing control of himself. Temari was certain there were ways for him to actually be able to sleep, but she just couldn't find anything out. Rasa had forbidden any and all research of the Shukaku until it was time to chose a new Jinchuuriki.

It made the blonde girl sick to think her own father would treat her brother like that. As nothing more than a tool. Which made her wonder; what did he see her as?

She sighed and set down the scroll just as Baki entered the room. "Sensei?"

"Good news, Temari-san," the man said, holding out a scroll for her, "You've got a letter from - Whoa!" One would have thought the Yellow Flash had reappeared as fast as Temari rushed in and swiped the scroll from him. He chuckled as he saw the girl already back on the couch while her brothers were crowding around her. "Eager to here from him, are we?"

Kankuro grinned, "Yeah, Temar's been waiting for her boyfriend to - Gah!" Temari smacked him in the face with the end of the scroll before unrolling it.

"He's not my boyfriend," Temari stated as she began reading.

Dear Temari,

Kaa-chan's helping me write this, because I'm still learning how to read and write, but I gotta tell ya, Shinobi Academy is so great! I've made a few friends, and none of them look at me like the adults around here do. Guess that's because they don't "know" about me yet. Kaa-chan says not to worry about things like that because real friends won't mind what I am, like you don't.

I can't wait to see you again, either! "Aha!" Kankuro brayed, "Sounds like he likes y- oof!" Temari elbowed him in the ribs and continued reading. You're not gonna believe how easy it is to prank the teachers here. I mean there's this jerk named Mizuki that always gives Kaa-chan the "pervy eyes" whenever she drops me off at the school. Seriously, he wouldn't stop! I don't get whats so interesting, though. Anyway, I finally decided to get back at him while we were in class. I convinced Shino-kun to lend me some of his bugs, he's an Aburame by the way, and filled up Mizuki's desk with 'em! You should'a seen his face! Priceless! He was hopping around like a bunny!

Temari was giggling as she pictured one of her own teachers falling for the same trick. Kankuro was outright laughing his head off while Gaara was smiling.

Baki looked at the three of them, "Don't you think you can play me like that."

Temari grinned and kept reading.

But that's not the best of the pranks I've pulled. I did a really great gag after some of the Jonin schmucks were talking bad about Kaa-chan for taking me in. So, and I really didn't get in trouble for this, seriously, I painted the Hokage Monument!

"Does he mean that huge mountain above the Hokage's tower?" Temari asked in astonishment. How could he get away with that?!

=|The Day Naruto Painted the Monument|=

Pakura sighed as she made her way to the Hokage's office, knowing that the only reason she would be called would be to either address a job, or to hear about something Naruto had done...again. She suspected the latter, considering that the Hokage Monument was painted in a ridiculous fashion. Yes, that morning she had woken up, bright and early as usual so she could prepare breakfast for them, but when she had gone to wake up Naruto, she had found the boy gone.

Panicked, she had torn through the house in order to find him, and then she'd gone outside...and nearly fainted. The great monument to the Kages of old had been painted.

The Shodaime had a look of pure horror on his face, eyes white and round, his jaw hanging open, as if he'd been caught red-handed doing something he really shouldn't have. His brother had a bug-eyed look on his face, and sported a line of drool running from the left side of his mouth, while his tongue was hanging out the right side. Hiruzen's face..."Oh, dear..."

Hiruzen Sarutobi's visage now sported a set of huge, bushy eyebrows, a beaming smile that seemed to gleam in the morning light, and had the word "YOUTH" painted in a word bubble just beside his head in big bold letters.

Naruto had also take a little time to paint whisker marks, and a wide grin on the Yondaime's face, making him resemble Naruto...much more than he already did. "If no one makes the connection after seeing that, then this whole village is in denial." She said, palming her face as an Anbu appeared before her. "Good morning, Karasu."

The crow masked Anbu nodded to her and said, "Forgive me for coming to you so early, Pakura-sama, but - "

"I know, I know," Pakura said, smiling slighty at her son's handy work, "Have you caught him yet?"

Karasu nodded, "Only just now." He said, sighing, "He didn't go down without a fight."

Pakura rolled her eyes, "Just so long as he wasn't hurt."

Now she was just outside the door of the Hokage's office, expecting to see her son, battered and dirty, not fit for school. She knocked, hearing a short, "Enter" and opened the door.

There was Naruto, trussed up like a turkey, surrounded by six, frazzled, harassed, and...beaten up Anbu? "What in the world?"

"Ah, good morning to you, Pakura-san," Hiruzen smiled, gesturing for her to come in.

"Morning, Ma!" Naruto smiled, swiveling around so he could see her. He was roughed up, but none the worse for wear, thank Kami. "Did you ya see my joke?"

"Joke?" One of the Anbu snapped. He had half of his mask missing, having been broken off, revealing a large shiner beneath it, "You call that a joke?!"

"It was funny!" Naruto grinned.

Hiruzen chuckled, "I must admit, Naruto-chan, that your sense of humor is that of a true Uzumaki. Your clan was well known for their practical jokes." He said, smiling at the little boy, "But I must say, this is beyond the limit for most people...what possessed you to deface the monument?"

Naruto grimaced, "Ya know that jerk Jonin that works for you down stairs?"

"Who? Shinichi?" Hiruzen asked, "The fellow with the scar on his chin?"

"That's him," Naruto confirmed, nodding, "He called my Kaa-chan..." He trailed off, looking at Pakura almost shamefully.

"Let's hear it," Pakura said, crossing her arms.

"He...he called her a slut...whatever that means, but I don't think it's good." Naruto said, hanging his head.

"Untie him," Hiruzen said at once. "And have Shinichi escorted from the building and informed that he is to be placed on permanent gate duty at the Southern entrance."

Kakashi, wearing his Inu mask moved to cut the boy loose, and disappeared, eager to tell the Jonin of his new...job.

Pakura leaned down and scooped Naruto up, "That's an honorable thing you did, Naruto-chan, but defacing the monument like that is also disrespecting Sarutobi-sama. And he's done nothing to warrant such an attack from you."

"But he was always saying how great the monument was, and admiring it," Naruto pointed out, "I figured it was the best way to get back at him."

"Be that as it may," Pakura said, "It was still wrong of you, and I'll have to ground you for this."

Naruto hung his head and placed it against her shoulder, "I'm sorry."

Hiruzen nodded to the woman, smiling at her control of the situation. Then glanced at his Anbu, "Now...what in the name of the First happened to you lot?"

The assembled Anbu, Neko included, all looked down at their feet, "He...kind of got the drop on us?" The man with the shiner said.

Pakura and Hiruzen widened their eyes at this. "He did?"

"Well," Neko said, fidgeting nervously, her arms crossed over her chest protectively. "We didn't want to hurt him...so we tried to...well..."

"Let's just say the kid packs a wallop," an Anbu wearing a lion mask sighed, speaking with a lisp. "It took us the better part of three hours to catch him."

"Three hours?!" Pakura looked at her son, "But he's not even a Genin!"

"Teehee, I'm just that awesome!" Naruto grinned, rubbing his finger under his nose. "I got Raion when he tried to hold me still...sorry about the tooth."

"Don't worry," Raion said, "It was fake anyway."

"Then I got Inoshishi with a knee to the face," he pointed the man in the cracked mask, and then looked at Neko, "Um...and I just scared Neko-chan."

"Scared her?" The adults, minus Neko, who stiffened, said.

"Uh, yeah, that's right." Naruto grinned, "I'm pretty scary."

Hiruzen looked at the young purple haired Anbu, "Neko?"

"Um...I...he..."

"Neko."

"He...he stole my underwear." Neko admitted, blushing madly.

Pakura was torn. On the one hand, Naruto had been able to outrun, and outsmart a team of Anbu for a good three hours. On the other hand, he had taken the first step into perversion. "Naruto-chan?" He looked up at her, "I...I'm proud of you for outclassing these Anbu...but please, don't ever, ever, ever do something like taking Neko-sans...unmentionables again...alright?"

"Hai." Naruto nodded, blushing himself.

Hiruzen gained a devilish look on his face, "Do you still have them?" Naruto nodded, and the old man gained a devilish look, "Then take'em out, hold'em high, and take off that mask, Neko-chan!" Hiruzen roared, pulling a camera from his desk. "SAY CHEESE!"

=x=

Temari, her brothers, and Baki were all laughing themselves silly as the picture that popped out of the bottome of the scroll came to light. There was Naruto, sitting on a laughing Pakura's shoulder, holding a bright lime green panty and bra set above his head, while two Anbu members, one of them holding a cat mask, were flashing peace signs at the camera while holding a flustered purple-haired woman back. The woman's face was flushed, her eyes screwed so tight that the looked like a huge X going across her face and her mouth was open in a forlorn wail.

If things were this crazy in Konoha after just a week, then what did the furure hold?

Aw, now how could I pass that up! When Naruto is concerned, a prank is bound to be just around the corner!

Let me know how you liked this chapter, because as mentioned in the first part, things are getting heated with Hiruzen trying to catch Danzo red-handed, and not pulling any punches.

Don't forget to review!