Note: So very nearly there! I had to break this into two chapters, so the grand finale should be coming soon…
Elissa's lip curled. The orbs of light fluttered behind her, as if also incensed, and she braced her fist. A tide of ancient repressed rage was building, and it took all her strength to keep it in check. She had always wondered what her first real meeting with the Maker would be like, and yet hearing that voice and seeing those eyes provoked all the white-hot fury she had originally died with. However, giving in to blood lust was not an option. Thedas's salvation was not complete, and she could not afford the lives and hopes of her friends until she was certain they were safe.
"I've done your dirty work," she hissed, unafraid of the shimmering eyes that met her own. It made her sick to her stomach that He wore the skin of her lost friend, and she was sure it was deliberate. Anything that would make her hesitate, anything that would make her reluctant; the old god had as many cards up His sleeve as there were souls waiting to be reborn.
The Maker chuckled, undaunted. He offered His upturned palm.
"You have indeed." He gestured to the floating sea of souls that filled the air. "It has been eons since the Unseen Realm fell from its former glory. Yet while it has thus been restored, there is still one final test to come."
Elissa's eyes widened.
"What?"
"A last challenge to prove you are worthy," the Maker went on. "To show me that you have shed your mortal life for good and hold no more attachment. Else the cycle will be doomed to repeat."
Elissa's nostrils flared.
"Why the hell do you get to set the rules?" She ground her teeth. "All this was your doing! You caused Thedas's destruction, you left everyone to suffer, you killed generations of my ancestors to try and undo your mistake, and you expect me to perform more tricks?!"
"Such a mistake should therefore never come to pass again," the Maker countered. "Thus it is vital I have a guarantee it will not."
Elissa conjured her Corruption spear, the inferno breaking through.
"How dare you try to blame my own murder on me?!"
She made to charge, but no sooner had she taken a single step than the ground fell away. Yelling, Elissa scrambled, but there was nothing to hold onto. Pieces of the stone floor crumbled, fragmenting into the blinding light that awaited below. Elissa fell with them, sucked into a slipstream of brilliance. She screeched His name, reaching out for the ever-shrinking silhouette above.
Pass this final test, Etro, and I will grant you paradise.
The Maker's voice echoed, and Elissa snapped her eyes shut. An unseen wind gripped her, stealing her breath and sense of space. She clasped her hands together, and her Corruption spear morphed into twin swords. Then she lashed out, and the blades screamed, shattering the light and striking solid form. Twisting, Elissa pushed her weight against the weapons, and her freefall slowed. She opened her eyes, now met by a wall of grey-black stone; the foundation of the Black City. Her swords cut through, showering sparks as they broke her momentum, until finally her feet hit the ground.
Elissa grunted, pitching forward but managing to stay on her feet. Her knees jarred, and she winced, straightening herself up. Dispersing her weapons, she looked around. It didn't take long before she was hit by an alarming sense of déjà vu. She had landed into a chamber akin to that of a castle hall. The stone was worn, lit by sporadic torches, and the entryways were covered in strange symbols. But as Elissa studied the exits, as she breathed in the dust and smoke, she could feel an ancient, arcane power around her.
"Just like the Temple of Sacred Ashes," Elissa muttered, pressing a hand to her chest. How long ago that venture seemed, where she had sought the power of her ancestor to heal her poisoning. She guessed the similarities was deliberate. The Maker had begun His final game, and much as she wanted to liberate herself from His shadow, there was still the fate of Thedas' souls on the line. She had already broken her composure too soon; she could not do so again. For the sake of her friends and loved ones, for the dead denied their voice—for Leliana's unexpected salvation and Zevran's sacrifice—she would play along.
Sighing, she wandered past the first entrance, entering a narrow room. Four sarcophaguses stood ahead of her, housed within their own smaller chambers. Each were guarded by a figure. She couldn't quite see most of them, but as she neared the first, her breath caught.
"Alistair?"
Alistair stared back at her, though he was not the grizzled, older Warden-Commander as Elissa knew. Now he had been returned to his youth, the young Grey Warden who had just lost all he knew in a single battle. At first she wondered if he was an illusion, but his form held the unmistakable aura that was his own. In his hand he clutched a single rose, and Elissa tensed.
"Why did you keep away from me?" Alistair spoke, his voice laced with an age-old wound that had never completely healed. "I wanted to be there for you as you had for me. I trusted you, and hoped you felt the same. I understood your heart lay elsewhere, but even then you never…confided in me." He let out a breath. "Every hardship you shouldered yourself. Even when you came back as Yara, you let yourself suffer so much and kept it all inside. I wanted to help ease that." He faced Elissa, his expression heartbroken. "Why? Wasn't I trustworthy? Wasn't I good enough?"
Elissa swallowed.
"It was never you, Alistair," she said, her gaze softening. "You were a dear friend to me, even when I couldn't remember you. The weakness lay with me." She held her hand over her heart. "I was afraid of pain, afraid that trusting in another would only lead to more hurt. We faced so much danger, it was always a risk that you would die and there would be nothing I could do about it. I didn't want the burden of fighting the Blight alone, and I didn't want to lose the first companion I'd made after the murder of my family. I wasn't strong enough to deal with that, and so I let that fear rule me, and pushed you away when I shouldn't have." She drew a breath. "I'm sorry I hurt you, Alistair."
Alistair smiled.
"The fear of losing someone you love is terrifying, yes," he said. "I can admit I've felt the same at times. But you've faced that head-on, and seen yourself through." He patted her shoulder. "You're become strong, Elissa, and I'm glad. You should never let fear rule over trust."
He let the rose drop from his hand, and then he vanished. The rose remained, and Elissa managed a sad smile. Had things been different, she and Alistair could have had a very different relationship. But she would never regret his friendship, kindness and sense of humour. Nor would she shun such companionship in future. He was more a brother to her than Fergus, and she would keep her affection for him close.
Leaving the discarded rose, Elissa walked to the next chamber. Here she was met by angry pacing, and once she was noticed, Cassandra snapped her head to her. Creases of anger and frustration pierced her brow, and she glared daggers at Elissa.
"Why did you hide in silence?" Her voice was harsh and icy. "Leliana was tormented by your death and struggled to find solace without you, and you perpetuated that!" She shook her head. "So many nights she confided to me, so many nights I heard her cries of suffering and loss. Yet when you were finally returned to her, you shunned her still!" Her lip curled. "You did not give her rejection or acceptance, just an indecisive nothingness that drover her to the point of insanity!" She strode forward and gripped Elissa's collar. "Leliana was my sister, closest friend and comrade in arms, and I cannot accept the one she loved most would treat her like this! Why did you run away?!"
Elissa made no move to resist, despite her trembling heart. She had never felt Cassandra's anger directed towards her, but the warrior's words struck. This was the darker truth of her heart, just as she had faced Alistair's.
"I make no excuse," Elissa answered, lowering her head. "I was weak, and I couldn't face my own feelings. They made me confused and angry, so it was easier to ignore them and hope they would go away. I made no consideration for how they would make anyone else feel, especially Leliana, and I made no effort to try and talk things out, either. I was trapped in indecision, as you rightly say, and I can only say how sorry I am for not confronting what I should have."
Cassandra huffed, but her demeanour softened. She released Elissa, folding her arms.
"At least you admit your flaw," she stated, and there was a hint of respect in her tone. "To be able to see your shortcomings, then try to make amends is not a choice many are willing to follow through. I can only hope it will keep you in good stead."
She too faded, her words left drifting. Elissa closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. So, this was the Maker's test. He wanted her to confront her weaknesses, and He was using the souls of her friends to do so. That aspect was no game—it was their true feelings, and Elissa could guess who else she was going to meet.
A few steps forward and Elissa came to the third sarcophagus. This time, Bethany was sitting upon it, her arms drawn around herself, her gaze downcast. Her dark hair screened her face, and Elissa wanted to hug the mage who had been so steadfast in supporting her. She looked so…broken.
"What do you want?" Bethany's voice was defeated, hoarse. "Come to give your empty condolences?"
"Beth…"
"You let them die!" Bethany arched her neck up, her caramel eyes filled with hurt. "You couldn't face what truths the past might hold and sentenced my sister and my lover to death! You let them perish and left me all alone!" Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You were my sister and I loved you and you hurt me. You kept pushing me away, you fell further into despair and wouldn't let me help! You…You stopped caring and took them away from me!" Bethany's voice was shaking. "You ran away and let Amber go insane, you left Lara's spirit to be broken, and…and…" She slipped her left arm out, the stump of her wrist visible.
Elissa's own tears prickled.
"I'm sorry failed you Beth," she said, kneeling before the mage. "I was too scared to see the truth and it was easier to hurt you than face my own pain of the past. I put you through so much unnecessary grief, I took all your loyalty for granted, then placed an unfair burden on you and the ones you loved the most. Because of my cowardice, I left Amber and Lara to suffer and eventually die." She swallowed, her lip quivering. "And I betrayed you too. I didn't have the courage to face who I truly was. I lashed out at the only person who'd been there through the darkest days of my life, and I ignored your counsel because it wasn't what I wanted to hear." She bowed her head further. "But it was what I needed to hear, and I can only hope that someday I'll be able to earn your forgiveness."
A shuffle caught her ear, and a warm hand touched Elissa's cheek.
"I do forgive you, Elissa," Bethany murmured. "You did find your courage, you took up your duty and fought, and you saved me. Saved us all, even Amber and Lara. And you've given us a chance to be together again, without the chains of the past." She kissed Elissa's forehead. "Hold onto that courage, sis. It will see you through."
The warmth on her face disappeared, and Elissa was left on her knees, happier tears falling. Bethany had given so much to her, and she would not let her love and faith go to waste. She would not fail her sister again.
Wiping her eyes, Elissa stood. She already knew who would be waiting at the final sarcophagus. She waited as long as she dared, regaining composure. This would be the hardest trial.
Eventually, Elissa squared her shoulders and strode forward, her heart thrumming. Her steps echoed on the stone, lit by the flickering torches hanging overhead. Sure enough, as she emerged into the last room, Leliana stood before her. The bard's expression was calm but muted. Elissa clenched her fists, unable to stop a tremor rocking through her.
"So, will you speak with me now?" Leliana's voice was curt. "Or can you only stare from your tower of silence?"
"No, I'll speak." Elissa met Leliana's grey-blue eyes. "I'll speak of all the ways I wronged you, the ways I let you down, betrayed you and deepened the wounds I'd made myself." She bit her lip, but made herself keep her lover's gaze. "Even from the beginning I never gave you a chance, Leliana. I turned you away from joining me against the Blight, despite your faith, then went out of my way to deny your friendship and love further. I couldn't accept the uncertainty that love would bring, nor its possible brevity. And when I did, when I took that hesitant step I'd feared for so long...it was all lost, exactly as I dreaded would come to pass."
"Yet a buffer of amnesia cushioned you, masking the pains that I alone endured," Leliana said, bitter. "A decade of grief and agony awaited me, not so for you. And when hope sprung in the form of revenge against your killer, I hunted it with every fibre of my being. I wanted so much to close that part of my heart, the part that bled and wept even at the mention of your name. But when I realised that there was no killer, that you had survived and been returned to me, that hope changed. For I hoped that my hurt would heal and not scar." She turned aside. "And you crushed it all into nothing."
"A mistake among my litany," Elissa replied. "When my mind was restored, when I realised all the happiness and joy you'd brought me before, I still couldn't reconcile that with my pain and move forward. I was too afraid to speak, too afraid to admit what I felt inside and untangle it all and start anew. It was easier to blame, to hide behind my silence and inflict wounds rather than tend my own."
She licked her lips, unable to hold back, and grasped Leliana's hand.
"But once I realised what I'd done, I promised to do better. Only to have my efforts broken when my true self was revealed." She held Leliana's hand to her cheek. "By loving you, by giving you my heart again, I'd sentenced you to death. I'd punished you yet again for taking away my loneliness, and it was too much." She kissed Leliana's palm. "I would have let all Thedas die for you, my love. Just to be with you for the rest of eternity." She sighed, letting Leliana's hand drop. "But it wasn't what you wanted. You've always seen the beauty in all things, and you wanted to let life flourish once more. You weren't afraid of death. And it was in this act, your act of ultimate self-sacrifice, that I realised I couldn't be selfish anymore. I can't hide behind my misgivings or flaws, and I can't run from the truth. I can't…I can't keep tormenting myself for my poor choices and lack of strength and will." She leant forward and stole a glancing kiss. "I love you, Leliana, and that is why I'll let you go."
Leliana wrapped her arms around Elissa, holding tight.
"I don't want to let you go," she affirmed, burying her face in Elissa's neck. "I…I can't…"
Her last word fell to a whisper, and then Elissa's arms were empty. Her tears came back, and she wept into her palms, fighting the tightness in her chest. How many more times was she going to have her lover taken like this? How many more times did she have to bear the agony of separation?
I am disappointed, Etro.
Elissa looked up, the Maker's voice sending chills through her. The walls and floor melted away, stripped barren, and then Elissa was returned to the Black City. Her crystal throne had been moved, now poised to watch over the new world on the horizon. And it was the Maker who sat there, His expression of disdain.
"Your words betray your heart," He stated, His stare accusatory. "She was meant to die for a reason, goddess! You cannot watch over the new world while you are still chained to her!"
"I'm not chained to her!" Elissa retorted. "I let her go, I've let her go twice, and still you're not satisfied?!"
"Prove it!"
The Maker stood, holding out His hand. A series of white lights were gathered in His palm, like pearls. He let one drop, and it blossomed into the form of Leliana. She fell, but before she would come to harm, strings of light snapped down from the Maker's palm. They snared Leliana's head, arms and legs, and she dangled out of Elissa's reach, a floppy puppet, her eyes closed.
"If you truly hold no attachment, destroy her," the Maker ordered. "She holds you back, goddess, perpetuating the memory of the world ended." He flexed his fingers, and Leliana whimpered. "You must free yourself, and in doing so I will create you an eternal paradise!" He opened his other hand, letting the other 'pearls' fall. Each bloomed into the forms of her friends—Alistair, Cassandra, Dorian, Josephine, and Bethany—and all were tethered by the puppet strings of light. "You can be with them again, your burden relieved, if you complete this one task!"
Elissa bared her teeth.
"Nothing you offer will make me go through with this," she snarled. "I would rather walk in darkness forever than beg for your false reward!"
Before the Maker could retort, she jumped onto the throne. Kicking off the crystal, she summoned her sword, and cleaved through the strings holding her friends prisoner. The cords recoiled like snapped fishing line, and the Maker roared, the light retreating and burning His hand. Next Elissa swept her arms, spreading a blanket of Corruption to soften her friends' fall. They landed beside her, groggy and bemused. Elissa took Leliana's arm, stroking her back.
"I've got you," Elissa soothed. "You're safe."
"You have made a grave mistake, fallen goddess!" the Maker bellowed, His hand bleeding from the backlash of magic. "If you will not release yourself from their binding, then I will destroy them for you!"
He cast out His other hand, and swirling bolts of brilliant white started to flow from His fingertips, aimed straight at Elissa and her friends.
"NO!" Elissa threw up her blades. In the air they shattered apart, forming two streaks of darkness. A pair of lights joined them from the sea of souls, and they shot forward with incredible speed. Before the Maker could unleash his attack, they slammed into Him. The Maker screamed, the power in His hand failing and spluttering out. The force was enough to shake the crystal throne, and He was knocked clean off.
The streaks of light-dark rebounded, coming back to Elissa. The Corruption receded, revealing the pair of souls that had come to help, and Elissa's eyes lit up.
"Hope you don't mind us butting in, Elissa," Lahara said, her mismatched eyes twinkling. "But His schtick was getting old."
"I'd had just about enough of His hot air too," Hawke said, folding her arms. "I say the new world has room for one goddess only."
"Amber! Lara!" Bethany rushed forward, snaring her sister and lover in a tight embrace. "You're okay!"
"For now," Lahara said, as the ground began to rumble. "I don't think our dear Maker liked that."
"Then we'll fight." Elissa stood tall, her jaw set.
"Fight…the Maker?" Cassandra gasped. "But…"
"He is not our Maker, Cassandra," Leliana argued. "Not our Maker of compassion and mercy and love. This…being is a tyrant, a power-hungry fool whose only desire is more. We cannot have such a shadow looming over the new world!"
"Got that right," Alistair added. "I know which goddess I believe in, and I'm going to do all I can to make sure she wins."
"Absolutely," Dorian chimed.
"We will follow whichever path you choose, Elissa," Josephine said. "I am no warrior, but I can give you the strength of my soul. I too do not want to live in the shadow of an overlord."
"Thank you." Elissa smiled at her friends, when another tremor rocked through. It was enough to shatter the crystal throne, and the edge of the Black City collapsed. A roar resonated through the heavens, and an enormous being emerged from the cosmos. With a horned head, sky-spanning limbs and azure-silver eyes, the Maker turned His gaze onto Elissa. Zevran's body was no-where to be seen.
You were given your chance, goddess reborn, he said, his baritone echoing into an impossible reach. You failed. You are not worthy to be Etro's successor. And the very souls you protected will bear your punishment. He looked towards the horizon. I will destroy the new world, and you and your souls will rot into nothing!
"You have domineered Thedas for millenia too long, Maker!" Elissa shot back. "It's high time you atone for your crime, and the people of this world will be free of you forever!" She summoned her swords once more. "I am the goddess of death, and even you can't escape!"
The Maker laughed.
You think you can defeat God? he mocked. Then try me, goddess!