The following morning, the eleven – including Felicity and Peter's unborn daughter – were in the breakfast room of Rod and Shelby.
Heather and James gave a huge hug to both Felicity and Hope to welcome them to the church, and were even happier when they found out the kids were going to have a sister.
"What are you guys going to call her, Dad?" asked Heather.
"I only found out last night, sweetheart," said Peter. "Reverend Hunter hasn't even thought about it yet either."
"Kids, please – it's Felicity," said Felicity. "Not Reverend, not Aunt Felicity, not Stepmother which is what I'm likely to be now – just plain Felicity. If that's okay with you, Ruthie."
Ruthie had thought about what she had told the other woman about that the previous evening. She realized she was harsh.
"Yes, Felicity, it's fine," she said. "Understand, I'm still their mother. But I am prepared to say this – you will have an equal share in parenting with my children, as long as I have that with yours. If you impose discipline in our absence, provided it is reasonable and no violence is used, Peter and I will back you up a hundred percent."
"Thank you. And I ask the same of you, about mine."
"Sure."
"There's just one thing though … and I'm not sure the kids will want to hear this ..."
"We know all," said James. "It's about the other thing Mom told you. Frankly, Mom, we think it's gross – and I'm sure Hope and Felicity do too. Not to mention Aunt Shelby and Uncle Rod."
Ruthie paused, then cracked a huge smile.
"What? You guys all think I was serious?!" she asked.
"Wait … you weren't?" said Hope in shock.
"Heck, no! I punk'd all of you!"
Felicity, who was standing up and holding a cup of coffee with one hand, while drinking orange juice from the other, tripped over herself and had to grasp the cups from spilling as she collapsed into her chair. She was catatonic for twenty seconds.
"Why would you even ask Felicity to do such a thing, if you were kidding?" asked Hope angrily, once Felicity snapped out of it. "That is not funny at all!"
"Hope, Felicity," said Ruthie, "we are entering very dangerous territory. The final countdown might begin in nine days. If we have any chance of winning and saving this country if not the world, we have to be ready to do anything for each other. This was a test, to see if you were willing to do that. You passed. Both of you.
"So, no, I don't want to sleep with you, Felicity, no matter how attractive you are. And Lord, you are hot!" Ruthie licked her lips, salivating at the thought she could do the other woman. "And in the next few minutes, I am going to make the last and final break with Peter. You have him all to yourself going forward. I will always be grateful to you for giving my children something I was unable to do – a sibling. But the fact is, while we are both bisexual, it is absolutely important that we live as committed heterosexuals. It's pretty obvious James and Heather want a mother and father – or two mothers and a father – but they don't want two mothers who are in bed together."
"Not until Dad's dead at least," said James. "And I hope all of you live another forty or fifty years."
"And Hope … I'm glad you're here, because what I just said about Peter … it's true. I understand you have a notary license in several states, including here in Missouri."
"Yes, but why are you asking me that?" asked Hope.
Ruthie stepped outside to the adjacent home office. She twirled the tumbler on the safe, and pulled out a recycled brown document envelope that Rod and Shelby had held for safe keeping overnight. She walked back in with the envelope.
"Peter and I are going to need you to seal this to make it official," said Ruthie. "It's the divorce papers. Peter and I talked about it while we were exercising in our basement this morning. No point putting it off."
Heather and James cried their hearts out, totally inconsolable. Rhiannon and Maighread gave then a huge hug.
Once they had calmed down, Peter and Ruthie's children faced their parents.
"That's it?" James and Heather said together.
"That's it," said Peter bluntly. "The decree is about fifty-two pages long, because there's an extensive breakdown of personal assets. What was in joint bank accounts and common is split fifty-fifty. What each of us earned on our own in the stock markets, we keep. What we brought into the marriage separately, we keep as our own. But as far as you two, there is no dispute. Joint custody, unconditionally. We will discuss what we do separately, but we'll still share dinners together, go out on trips and shows and amusement parks together – and preferably with Felicity too. But you keep your trust accounts – we'll even put way more as our way of saying we're sorry – and you both will always have both of us. That is a promise we will keep."
James and Heather asked for a minute to talk things over. Then they had a question for Hope.
"When a divorce is decreed or signed off on – as it will be here – how long do the ex-spouses have to wait until they marry someone else?" asked James. "We're more than happy to waive our cooling off period, since we know Dad wants to marry Felicity."
"Yeah, I do," admitted their father. "After exercise this morning, I walked over to the guest house, proposed to Felicity, and she accepted!"
"Yay!" the kids said, and high-fived each other.
"Well kids - and I'm glad you guys are happy - but to answer your question," said Hope, "normally in this state it's thirty one days, but given there are serious national security issues and all of our lives are in danger, I'm sure I can persuade a judge to waive it when I file the paperwork at the courthouse later today. Matter of fact, I'll be happy to do the wedding, at the church, tonight!"
"Tonight?" asked Shelby.
"Better now than never."
"But what about the dress, the organ music, the whole she-bang ..."
"Peter and I just want a civil ceremony for now, if that's okay with you folks," said Felicity. "Once this all gets settled down, we'll have the fireworks and consecrate the marriage before Jesus and 15,000 of our best friends, the parishioners. And we can postpone the honeymoon as well."
The other ministers just sighed.
"Well, let's do this," said Ruthie. She signed her Dorothy Hancock on the front page of the settlement and Rod witnessed. In turn, Peter signed his autograph and Shelby offered her authentication. Hope, shedding a tear, reached into her sachet, found her seal puncher, and engrossed the document then added her own signature.
It took just forty-seven seconds. But Peter Petrowsky and Ruthie Camden were now divorced.
Ruthie paused, catching her breath and trying not to cry. Then she slowly took off her wedding ring from her left ring finger and then slipped it onto the opposite digit to indicate that the marriage really was over and was bound to no man on earth. She then took off the engagement ring, a large stone although way smaller than Lisa's and Brigitte's rings, and handed it to Peter.
"This ring came with a promise of marriage, Peter," said Ruthie. "Now that the marriage is over, it rightfully belongs to you again - to be placed on another woman's hand."
"You're serious about this?" Peter was numb.
"We both know who it belongs to now, and who deserves it."
Peter turned to Felicity. He never thought he would be giving his girlfriend an engagement ring that quickly, but knew she needed a sign she was fully in and that he was too. He first took off his wedding band and switched it to the other hand just as Ruthie had. He then faced his fiancée directly, kissed the engagement ring, slowly slipped it onto her hand, and said, "May this ring always remain with you, until we meet our Maker."
"Thank you, Peter," sobbed Felicity, kissing him. She then turned to Ruthie. "Thank you, sister, for this undeserved gift."
"Of course," said Ruthie. She winked. Felicity winked back, and the women shared a fist bump.
Later that day, a judge at the courthouse, who was an old friend of Hope's, was shocked when he learned two of the city's most popular ministers had called their marriage quits. But he didn't need an explanation about why they wanted the cooling off period waived.
"It's Felicity Hunter, isn't it?"
"How did you know that, Your Honor?" asked Hope in shock.
"Since her sermon the other night, there have been literally hundreds of filings at the federal courthouse, suing your former ministry for fraud. And sadly, Reverend Anderson, there have been filings here too - criminal. Seven men and four women are accusing your father on charges of molestation when they were minors, when your parents first had a charge here, before the network days. The moment I saw Peter's name here, I figured out he had to be the lover Reverend Hunter alluded to. He blew off a dinner with my wife and me, saying he had to go to 'Tulsa' for a business meeting and it was set up at the last minute. I know why he really left town now, and it's okay, but he could have been more forthright."
Hope was relieved to hear the judge got good cheer out of Felicity's stand. The judge gave no sign, however, if he knew she was now pregnant with Peter's seed.
"Dad is a crook, no question, which is why I have defected," said Hope, "but he would never harm children! I know him."
"To borrow a phrase from some of your more radical colleagues, 'How ... do ... you ... know?'" He delivered it just as a televangelist might when denying even the possibility of evolution.
Hope thought about it for a moment.
"Actually, I don't, Judge," she finally said. "I don't know. Still, I would never believe - I can't believe he would do that. But if he has been or is still doing that ... well, two of my new friends are Special Forces. They will not tolerate buffalo chips like that! I hope they won't take the law into their own hands, but if they do you should know I'll look the other way."
"Better Harrison and Prudence have that happen to them outside of jail and not inside! Besides which, Felicity's life is in danger, not to mention yours - and as far as national security, that's a matter of national security; and an ex parte hearing isn't necessary," said the judge, granting the exemption Peter and Ruthie asked for.
Several hours later, the gang at the church gathered inside a secret chapel in the basement of the complex. It was an oak paneled room with royal blue carpet and appointed for the occasional and secret executive weddings. Peter and the other men wore rush ordered tuxedos while Felicity wore a white business suit and a top hat and the other women wore matching yellow dresses.
Felicity asked that there be no flower girl or ring bearer, saying that could wait until the consecration in the main church upstairs, maybe a year from then. Instead, once all were in the room and the door securely locked, Hope began the nuptials, closely following the formula of the Book of Common Prayer.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman - who are both our Master's servants in the word and the sacrament - in Holy Matrimony; which is an honorable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocence, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee; and is commended of Saint Paul to be honorable among all men: and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly; but reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained.
'"First: It was ordained for the procreation of children, to be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy Name.
"Secondly: It was ordained for a remedy against sin, and to avoid fornication; that such persons as have not the gift of continence might marry, and keep themselves undefiled members of Christ's body ..."
Hope had to pause - and restrained herself from laughing. This marriage was only happening because of Peter's and Ruthie's unfaithfulness to each other.
"... Thirdly: It was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity. Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined. Therefore if any man can shew any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, let him now speak, or else after this takes effect for ever hold his peace."
The group looked around, and especially at the rear door, to see if anyone might come barging in and go postal. No one did.
"Who gives this woman in marriage?" asked Hope.
It was agreed outside the room that Shelby would do this. But surprisingly, it was Ruthie who spoke up.
"I do. My name is Ruthie Camden. I too am a Minister of Word and Sacrament, and Felicity is my friend."
Felicity's face lit up, so much so that one might have thought the lights of Las Vegas wouldn't do justice.
"And who gives this man in marriage?"
"I do, Reverend. My name is Rod Parker, Major, United States Marine Corps - and also a Minister of the Word and Sacrament. He saved my and my wife's lives once, as did the good Reverends Camden and Petrowsky, and this is our way to start repaying that debt."
Hope then faced Peter.
"Please repeat after me, Peter ... I -"
"I, Peter James Petrowsky," picked up Peter, knows the vows from having done so many ceremonies of his own, and taking Felicity's hands and squeezing them, "take you, Felicity Foster Hunter, to be my lawfully wedded wife from this day forward, to be faithful to you for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in health and in illness, and forsaking all others keep you alone to me, until death parts us. This is my vow to Almighty God and to you, my faithful woman."
"I, Felicity Foster Hunter," said Felicity, squeezing Peter's hands even tighter, "take you, Peter James Petrowsky, to be my lawfully wedded wife from this day forward, to be faithful to you for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in health and in illness, and forsaking all others keep you alone to me, until death parts us. This is my vow to Almighty God and to you, my faithful man."
At this point, Rhiannon and Maighread produced the rings. Heather and James had declined, citing a conflict of interest.
"Felicity," said Peter, "take this ring as a sign of my love for, and everlasting fidelity to, you. With my body, I worship you; with my worldly goods, I endow them to you; and I wed you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." He slipped on a silver band he had purchased for her just a few hours before.
"Peter," said Felicity, starting to tremble with joy, "take this ring as a sign of my love for, and everlasting fidelity to, you. With my body, I worship you; with my worldly goods, I endow them to you; and I wed you, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen." She placed a matching ring on Peter's hand that she had gotten the same day as well.
"In the presence of Almighty God and these witnesses and inasmuch as this man and this woman have pledged each other's bodies, minds and souls within the bounds of Holy Matrimony, and have declared the same by an oath to God and to each other and by the exchange of rings, I, the Reverend Hope Anderson, by the authority granted to me by our Heavenly Father and by the laws of the State of Missouri, do hereby declare that these two be bound for life by covenant and by contract. What the hands of God has joined together, let no man or woman rend asunder ..."
Peter and Felicity were looking at each other, about to break loose.
"Well c'mon guys," said Hope, "just kiss each other!"
The couple fell into each other's arms and kissed for nearly two minutes.
The gang cheered. Heather ran up to Felicity and hugged her.
"Welcome to the family, Felicity," said Heather. "You're going to be a great Mom, with Mom."
"Oh honey, thank you!" said Felicity kissing her stepdaughter.
With handshakes all around, the doors were unsealed. A luxury car was waiting to take the newlyweds to their hotel. The drive took them about twenty minutes. After they made it to their room and Peter carried Felicity, a woman seven inches taller than him, over the threshold, they shared a bottle of champagne.
"Darling," said Felicity, "this is the happiest day of my life. You saved my career, restored my soul, and best of all gave me a child!"
"Well, there's no point waiting to do what married people do, and letting our daughter know we can't wait for her. Who knows ... maybe we'll give her a brother or sister of her own tonight."
"I'd love that," said Felicity. She started kissed Peter fully. They carefully took off one piece of clothing at a time, kissing what was left underneath for several minutes at a time, until there was nothing left. He hanged her clothes on one chair of the coffee table, while she did the same with hers on the other. Finally, he carried her over to the bed, which he stripped off, and they made love all night long, praying they would have another child indeed.
In Anaheim, Prudence and Harrison Anderson had spent three days searching where their daughter might had gone. They had no idea she had defected to "those who would deny prosperity". They had counted on a candidate for the federal Senate, to get it to obstruct justice on their activities which they believed was only God's business. But if Hope got through to that candidate, it was game over.
Several hours later, at the exact same moment Peter and Felicity were consummating their marriage as well as pregnancy, a man walked into the inner sanctum. It was Edward Sanderson.
"You have a lot of nerve coming here, Ed," said Prudence. "You've just been added to the FBI's Ten Most Wanted. Raping Hope, two counts of child molestation - which we don't care about as you know, good for you! - grand theft by power of attorney, grand theft charitable donations, insider trading ... and oh yeah, 'proffering interference of interstate commerce', also known as accessory to cable theft!"
"Prudence my friend," said Ed, "I think we may finally be able to finish off Felicity, Hope, the entire wrecking crew and their friends in Europe and the Asia-Pacific. Seems our friends have used an encrypting system to pass messages about all the financial transactions. I haven't cracked the entire code yet, but I know now what system they're using and it's just a matter of figuring out the public key. Give me the weekend. By Monday morning, we'll have enough to turn the tables on them!"
"That's music to our ears!" grinned Harrison. "You get this right, and you get ten percent - make it fifteen, of our entire fortune!"
"I'll get to work immediately, sir!"
As soon as he left, Harrison pulled out his mp-three player and docked it onto his stereo system. Out of the speakers came the voice of one of the most notorious faith healers of all, Penny Flynn, she singing a way past tone-deaf rendition of "No Other Name but the Name of Jesus." At least she wasn't as bad as Florence Foster Jenkins.