Chapter 11 = = On Healers and Healing

Aedan and Alistair saw her turn very pale and Alistair, who was the closest, caught her as she fainted.

"Surana!" Aedan and Alistair yelled at the same time.

Surana turned to see Emmalynn and moved quickly. "Lay her down on the couch, Alistair." He opened a lyrium potion and was able to get some down her throat.

"What happened?" Alistair asked.

"Her mana was seriously depleted, which is odd because she has a very deep mana pool and wasn't the only one performing the…" Surana turned to Jowan. "You! She made up for you, didn't she?"

Jowan back away from Surana. "She knows I don't have much mana to draw on without blood magic. She should have sent me into the Fade."

A soft voice sounded behind Surana. "Jowan, I would never send a blood mage into the Fade."

Everyone looked at the revived healer. "M, are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine, just a bit tired." Slowly standing up she walked over to Jowan, who had sunk down on a settee with his head in his hands, tears wetting his lashes. She knelt next to him and placed a hand on his knee. When he winced, she pleaded. "Jowan, you're injured, please let me help."

"I'm fine. Just sore from the cramped cell."

"Jowan–"

"I'm fine!"

Emmalynn held her hands up. "Okay, okay. So, what happened with the Arl? Ser Alistair told us you were here to tutor Connor, to help him learn to hide his magic, and it was Connor who gave in to the demon, not you. But why poison the Arl?"

"Teryn Loghain rescued me from the Templars and told me to go to Redcliffe. When I got here, the Arlessa had recently found out that Connor was a mage and hired me to train her son to hide it – she thought the Maker guided me to her. Loghain sent me here with a vial and instructions. The vial contained poison and I was to administer it to the Arl."

"Why did you follow Loghain's orders?" Emmalynn asked.

"Loghain said he would make things right with the Circle. That I could remain free, and not be an apostate."

Surana sighed. "A free mage? I can see the appeal, I guess."

Emmalynn looked pensive.

"M?"

"Jowan, why didn't the poison kill the Arl outright?"

Alistair and Aedan looked surprised at the question.

"It wasn't supposed to, Emmalynn. It was only to put him in a kind of Fade sleep. This is all my fault."

"In part, yes," Emmalynn agreed. "But you are not responsible for the Arlessa's deception and whatever Loghain's motives were." I want to hug him, but he's in so much pain. She gently patted his knee, then stood up and looked at Surana. "I think you both need to talk."

Rana's scowl slowly left his face. "Jowan, perhaps later today?"

The mage's voice sounded strained either from the physical pain, emotional pain or both. "Yes, I would like that."

It was just then that Isolde and Teagan returned. "Connor is fine and has no memory of what happened. However, the Arl is still unconscious," Teagan reported.

Isolde looked desperate and shook her head. "Only Andraste's ashes can save him."

"Isolde, we cannot send out the remaining knights. Redcliffe has lost too many as is."

"We could look for the ashes," Aedan volunteered.

Surana put his hand on Aedan's shoulder. "Aedan, before we make any final plans may I confer with you in private?"

Aedan nodded. "Of course. Ah, Bann Teagan, Arlessa Isolde, if you would excuse Warden Surana and me, we will return shortly."

Teagan nodded. "You can use the Arl's study; it's down the hall to the right."

As soon as Surana closed the door to the study he turned to Aedan. "Are you crazy? You are willing to send us on a wild goose chase to find some shem artifact that may not even exist? Something which Redcliffe's knights not only couldn't find but were in fact killed during the search."

Without waiting for a response, Surana continued, "If the Arl dies, and his son is a mage, then Teagan will become Arl, correct?"

Still rather surprised at Surana's vitriol, particularly his use of the epithet shem, Aedan could only nod.

"Then let fate take its course and when Teagan is the Arl we can work with him. He is sympathetic to our cause. Whereas we have no idea about this Arl Eamon, save for his shrew of a mage-hating wife!"

"Look, I know Arl Eamon, and he will support us. Even among the Arls, Eamon wields more power and influence and he is well-respected in the Landsmeet. If anyone can help us take down Loghain, it's him."

Surana sat heavily on a sofa. "You really think so?"

"Yes, I do. Besides, let's say we didn't go after the ashes and Eamon dies. How supportive will Teagan be then?"

"That's…a good point. Alright, I'm with you."

Returning to the audience chamber, Aedan looked at Teagan and Isolde. "Warden Surana and I agree, we will seek out the ashes."

Leliana smiled beatifically. "Je sais que le Maker nous guidera vers les cendres. The Maker will be our guide."

Isolde brightened. "Oui, il le fera. You must find the scholar Brother Genitivi. He lives in Denerim. He has been working on finding the Ashes for most of his career, I'm sure he knows where to find them. If you can deliver the Ashes of Our Lady you will have the esteem of Redcliffe, and all the riches in my power to grant. Now, if you excuse me, I am going to sit with my husband."

Morrigan looked at Aedan. "This quest is foolish."

Sten nodded. "I agree with the bas Saarebas."

Aedan scowled. "Then perhaps you should both stay in Redcliffe while we go look for the ashes."

Alistair looked at Sten and Morrigan and tried a different tact. "You know the Wardens have been accused of regicide. If Aedan and Surana are going to amass an army big enough to end this Blight, then they will need the goodwill of many others, not just the Arl. Finding the Ashes of Andraste and healing the Arl will go a long way to counter the regicide charge."

Sten was quiet, then nodded. "I will continue to follow."

Morrigan sighed. "I suppose there is some truth in what you say, Alistair. Alright. I too will continue to be part of this…whatever this is."

Teagan, who had been quietly listening to the discussion, spoke, "Thank you seems insufficient to express my gratitude for all you have done and continue to do for Redcliffe. Rooms have been prepared for you. When you are ready to leave, I will make sure that you are well-provisioned."

"Thank you, Teagan. We will leave for Denerim in the morning," Aedan decided.

Alistair approached Aedan. "May I go with you? As soon as we have the ashes, I can return to Redcliffe and you can continue on your mission without further delay."

Aedan grinned. "I'd be stupid to refuse your sword arm. Welcome to the group!"

~oOOo~

Teagan was about to send Jowan back to the dungeon. "This mage's fate has to wait for the Arl to recover."

"May I have a moment with Jowan please, My Lord, Teagan."

Teagan nodded.

Before Emmalynn could say anything. Jowan shook his head and whispered, "Stop asking me about healing."

She sighed and reluctantly nodded.

Surana accompanied the guards. Once Jowan was locked in his cell and the soldiers left, Surana and Jowan sat on the floor facing each other. Physically they were only separated by bars of the cell, but emotionally they were a chasm apart. For a long time neither mage said a word.

Jowan broke the silence first. "Are you happy to be a warden?"

"Actually, I am. I didn't realize how stifled I was in the Circle until I left with Duncan."

"I'm sorry that your fellow Wardens died."

Surana nodded. "Thanks."

"I suppose you want to know about Lily?"

"Yes. How could you cheat on me, and with a woman no less?"

"I can't explain it. When I first saw her, she…felt like freedom. She and I would talk, and I could tell she wasn't happy as an initiate. She admitted to me that she fled to the chantry to avoid an arranged marriage. The man she was supposed to marry eventually died, but by then Lily was already an initiate."

"Did you love her?"

Jowan was silent for a while. "I loved her, but I was not in love with her."

"What about me?"

"I have always been in love with you. But they were going to make me Tranquil! I saw the order on Irving's desk, and he'd signed it!"

"He did!?"

Jowan nodded. "Now you know why I had to leave."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought you would try to talk me out of leaving."

"No, I wouldn't have. Not if they were going to make you Tranquil."

Jowan stood up slowly and brushed off his robe. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter now. Once you find the ashes and the Arl wakens, I will either be executed or made Tranquil. I think I'd rather be executed."

Surana noticed Jowan wince. "Jowan it's clear that you're injured. Why have you refused M's healing?"

Jowan hung his head. "The Arlessa…she tortured me to try to get me to admit that I had done something to Connor. I told her I didn't harm Connor, but she didn't believe me."

"That sanctimonious bitch tortured you?" He tried to calm down pinching the bridge of his nose. After a few moments he looked up, his eyes red with unshed tears. "I'm going to get M."

"No! I don't want anyone to know! I don't know what she'll do if she found out I told anyone about the torture."

"The Arlessa won't touch you, ever again! I am going to bring M down here and that's final!" Surana sighed. "I couldn't protect you from the Knight Commander, but I can protect you from that harridan!"

Surana found Emmalynn talking with Alistair about the upcoming trip to Denerim. When Emmalynn turned to see her best friend, her eyes widened with worry. "Rana, what's wrong!"

Surana spoke in a rush. "I was talking to Jowan – the Arlessa tortured him! She tortured him. I don't know the extent of his injuries, but he is in pain. Please can you heal him?"

Emmalynn looked at Alistair, frowning. "Did you know about the Arlessa's actions?"

"No! But Isolde can get…violent if she is angry enough."

He speaks as one who was also a victim of this woman's temper. Emmalynn's expression softened. She put her hand on Alistair's. "I understand. Perhaps I can speak with your father about Jowan's condition?"

"Why don't you go to Jowan's cell. I will bring my father."

Emmalynn nodded. "Thank you!" She looked a Rana. "Let's go"

On the way to the cells, Emmalynn questioned her friend. "Rana, why wouldn't he let me heal him?"

"He is worried that the Arlessa will retaliate."

"Then we'll have to make sure that she can't."

They entered the dungeon. I can sense his pain, but it is fare worse than earlier. This is going to be bad. "Rana, perhaps you should wait here and talk to Alistair and his father, and let me tend to Jowan."

Surana sighed. "That bad?"

"I'm not completely certain without actually looking at him, but yes, I think it's bad."

When Emmalynn reached Jowan's cell, he was curled up on the floor, his pale skin flushed with fever. She sat down. "Jowan?"

He looked up and his expression broke Emmalynn's heart. I know he was misguided, I know he made bad choices, but he isn't Uldred, either. "Jowan, I am getting you out of this cell so I can heal you."

"Why bother? I am just going to be made Tranquil or be executed anyway."

"The future is not set in stone. Staying alive keeps doors open. Please let me help you."

Jowan, looking defeated, nodded his head.

"What did she use?"

"Whips, I think it has something sharp attached …I don't remember much except pain."

"Give me your hand," Emmalynn asked, as she extended hers into his cell.

He took her hand and soon her aura enveloped their joined hands. She helped reduce the worst of the pain, to provide some relief until she could examine him.

Teagan and Alistair arrived with Surana as Jowan slumped in relief.

"Maker's breath, Isolde never said she tortured him." Teagan looked disgusted. "Torture may be an Orlesian practice, but not a Fereldan one. I have the key, we can take him to the infirmary in the guard's barracks."

Teagan opened the cell and Emmalynn knelt in front of the feverish mage. "Bann Teagan, we need a litter; he can't walk that far. I should have realized it sooner – he's already done more damage by moving around earlier."

Two guards arrived with the litter, Emmalynn and Surana helped Jowan onto it. He laid on his side because of the pain of his back.

Once in the infirmary, Emmalynn only allowed Teagan to see Jowan. "Rana, you would just hover, and I don't want Jowan to feel like he needs to put on a brave face."

Surana nodded. "I'll go find Aedan and update him."

A half candle after Jowan arrived in the infirmary, Aedan, Leliana, Alistair, and Rana were sitting outside waiting.

Finally, Teagan came out of the infirmary. "Jowan making a full recovery." Then the Bann's expression darkened. "Additionally, for Jowan's safety, I will keep him confined to this infirmary until the Arl awakens and I can tell him of the Arlessa's actions. Ser Perth and Ser Donnelly will stand guard and will not let Isolde, nor anyone not expressly permitted by me, to enter."

Aedan stood. "Thank you. We are all grateful for your quick actions and compassion."

Teagan smiled wanly. "I am just sorry for Isolde's behavior."

~oOOo~

Just after dinner, Isolde spoke privately with Alistair and Teagan. Teagan was sitting across from his sister-in-law. All I can see is Jowan's ruined back. Thank the Maker for Emmalynn.

"I am wary of this Grey Warden. Even though he is a Cousland…he was willing to let Jowan use blood magic."

Her tone became sickeningly sweet. "Alistair, could you accompany them? At least I will know someone will be with them who will have our interests at heart."

"Of course, Isolde. I wouldn't want to let the Arl down."

"Thank you, Alistair."

After Isolde went upstairs, Teagan looked at his son. "I cannot believe she just asked that of you! 'Someone will be with them who will have our interests at heart'… What complete and utter rubbish!"

"That may be true. We both know how Isolde can be. But Father, I am a Knight. Isolde knows my loyalty is to you and to the realm. Eamon's life is critical to the survival of Ferelden. I am honor-bound to help. That's one of the reasons I have already asked Aedan to accompany him."

"You are a far better man than I am, Son."

"No Da. If our situations were reversed, you would have done the exact same thing."

~oOOo~

In the Arl's study, after dinner, Alistair was with Aedan and Surana having a glass of port.

Aedan said, "I'm hopeful about finding the ashes."

Alistair nodded. "I am, too."

Surana chuckled into his port.

Aedan looked at his fellow Grey Warden. "What? Do you think we're being overly optimistic?"

"No! You are feeling a real sense of hope. I chuckled because it seems M's influence works outside of the Circle."

Aedan and Alistair looked confused.

"The best way to explain it is that M is the embodiment of hope. She was even before her harrowing; that's why the Spirit of Hope found her."

Aedan said, "I thought spirits of hope weren't drawn to the waking world?"

"Not typically. But I've known M since she came to the circle. Like many children she was afraid at first. But that passed sooner than is typical. She has a resilience…it's not the tough-mindedness kind, but the kind that comes from an inner sense of optimism, faith, and…hope."

Just before going to bed, Alistair couldn't stop his spinning mind. I want to get to know Emmalynn better… I felt a pull and I know she felt it too. And the way she put down using blood magic…it was an amazing combination of gentility and steel.

AN: Thank you to my Beta Elyssacousland who makes this readable! Thank you to those who have reviewed, faved, and are following!