Chapter 13 = = Panic in Denerim = Drakonis
During the trip, Alistair and Leliana had drawn small copies of the large map of the capital city, one for each person, in case anyone got separated. The night before they arrived in the Denerim, Aedan opened the large map to review their route.
"I think a group of five mounted riders entering the city itself will draw considerable and very much unwanted attention. Instead, we'll use the visitor's stable outside of the main gate, which has riders going in and out of it at all times of the day. The Arlessa said that Brother Genitivi lives on the east side of the market district not far from the district's East entrance." He pointed to the map.
"Once we enter Denerim we will take the road that runs parallel to the Drakon River. It will lead us past the southern part of the market and on up to the East entrance."
That night Emmalynn wrote in her journal.
The Road to Denerim Day 11
Tomorrow we enter Denerim. I know it's going to be difficult to be around so many people. However, I plan to do exactly what I did at Ostagar–recite part of the Chant. This time, I'll recite the Canticle of Andraste because it always makes me think about Mother–I remember her singing it and I always felt that Andraste's voice was like Mum's.
Unfortunately, Mother didn't pass her amazing voice to me. My singing would gag a goat. So, I'll focus on chanting it not singing it.
~oOOo~
When they arrived at the stables, Emmalynn's pulse began to race and her mouth became dry. I was able to handle this at Ostagar, I can handle it here!
As they entered the City gates, Emmalynn began to chant under her breath, a measured cadence that helped bring her pulse back under control
"Hear now, Andraste, daughter of Brona,
Spear-maid of Alamarr, to valiant hearts sing
Of victory waiting, yet to be claimed from
The steel-bond forgers of barren Tevene
Great heroes beyond counting raised
Oak and iron 'gainst chains of north-men
And walked the lonely worn-roads evermore.
Mighty of arm and warmest of heart,
Rendered to dust–"
The rest of the phrase forgetting as Emmalynn suddenly felt her stomach clench. I feel so much sickness, despair…too much to be from one person! Focus! I have to focus!
"Rendered to dust. Bitter is sorrow–"
The feelings intensified. Where are they coming from? Her eyes darted around looking to identify the source. It's coming from Alienage across the river! There is so much suffering. Tears burned in her eyes, but again she re-focused.
"Bitter is sorrow ate raw and often,
poison that weakens and does not kill.
Why must the Shield of Alamarr shatter
'Neath bond and blade? To the wisest I sang,
To the wing'd –,"
Then Aedan suddenly called a halt. "It's always something. Looks like two wagons collided ahead and the road is completely blocked."
He looked at the map. "Let's go north and use the district's northwest entrance. It means we have to cut across the Market on the diagonal to get to Genitivi's, but we should be able to blend in."
As they got farther away from the Alienage, it was easier for Emmalynn to concentrate.
"To the wing'd cup-bearers of the talk sky-vaulting
To the wintry halls of strong mountain-kings,
Where in days forgotten, voices there raised
Might be gift'd answer and those seeking find."
Then they entered the market district.
Emmalynn stopped, all thoughts of the Chant fled her mind. Hunching into her cloak; her pulse again soared and for a few moments she couldn't catch her breath…I can't breathe…why can't I breathe? Breathe in…breathe out. This is worse than Ostagar! Breathe in…breathe out. I feel so exposed, I need to run! Breathe in…breathe out … I need to get out of here!
She took two steps back and was about to turn and flee. Something nudged her mind and she realized what she was about to do. No…No, I have a duty. I cannot run away! I will not run away!
Leliana and Alistair noticed her distress. Alistair took her hand, as his brow furrowed with worry he whispered, "Emma, what's wrong?"
"People." She gasped. "Too many people here…I can sense the presence of every person in this market. It's like a tidal wave and I'm drowning in it." She grabbed on to Alistair's cloak like he was a life raft.
He shielded her with his body, holding her close. "Maker! Leliana, she's shaking like a leaf."
Leliana positioned herself to further hide Emmalynn from view. "The poor dear! Alistair, she needs to be out of sight. We are too close to the Chantry; we don't want to draw the attention of the templars."
Alistair looked around for someplace she would be safe and was relieved to see a vacant merchant stall nearby. He nodded his head in the direction of the stall. "I'll take her over there; can you tell Aedan?"
"Of course!"
When he tried to get Emmalynn to go with him she wouldn't move, she just clung to Alistair and wept.
"Emma, I can't lift you up and carry you without causing a scene. Just hold on to me and walk with me. I'll guide you. You don't have to open your eyes, you don't have to let go, just move with me."
She began to move with him. He brought her to the booth and looked around to make sure they weren't seen. With no one looking in their direction, he helped her inside and they sat down, now entirely out of sight.
"Em, you can open your eyes. You're safe now."
Emmalynn didn't respond, she continued to hold on to him and his cloak, shaking and sobbing.
Heartsick about Emma's anguish, he pulled her up onto his lap, hugged her tight. and began to gently rub her back. In a soothing voice he repeated words of encouragement. "You're safe Em. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Nothing is going to happen to you. I would never let anything happen to you."
As her sobs began to subside, he softly sang.
"Shadows fall
And hope has fled
Steel your heart
The dawn will come.
"The night is long
And the path is dark.
Look to the sky
For one day soon
The dawn will come."
He felt her stir, her voice whisper-soft. "That…That's my favorite hymn."
"Mine too." He glanced down to see her eyes focused on him, her expression full of gratitude.
Her eyes took the wooden compartment in which they sat. The walls on three sides were covered with hooks of varying sizes, shapes and age. The fourth side was low with a countertop. "Where are we?"
"In an empty merchant booth. How do you feel?"
"I can still sense everyone, but it's muted, and not as overwhelming. Thank you for being here." She embraced Alistair, not out of panic, but out of her growing affection for him; Alistair returned the embrace in equal measure. Neither said anything.
Sitting in an empty merchant stall, surrounded by the large noisy market, Emma and Alistair created an oasis of serenity and healing.
When her heart rate was back to normal she looked at Alistair. "Thank you for helping me, for taking care of me, and for not judging me."
Alistair brushed an errant tear from Emmalynn's pale cheek. "No thanks are needed. I could never think badly of you. Emma… I care for you. Deeply."
Emma's eyes shone as she beamed. "I care for you as well. Very much."
"I have something for you. I was going to give it to you later, but well, now seems like a better time." He reached into his pack and pulled out a single white rose.
She looked at it in wonder. "It's beautiful. Where did you find it?"
"I picked it after the last horde of Darkspawn we fought. It was the only one left on the bush and I thought, 'How can something so beautiful survive so much ugliness?' I wanted to give it to you because I think the same thing when I think of you: how rare and wonderful you are to find amidst all this darkness."**
Careful to avoid the thorns, she breathed in its fresh scent and brushed the velvety petals against her cheek. "I've never been given such a thoughtful gift. Roses were my mother's favorite flower, and mine too."
She waved her hand over the rose, making it briefly glow.
"A protection spell?"
She nodded. "I don't want it to die or be crushed."
"Do you feel ready to try going through the market?"
She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. "I know I have to try." She was about to put the rose in her pack but held on to it instead.
Alistair stood up slowly and looked around.
A discreet distance away Leliana was keeping watch. She turned, and seeing Alistair, nodded.
Alistair helped Emmalynn stand.
"Leliana helped, too?"
"She and I both noticed that you were having trouble. She is the one who suggested getting you out of sight."
Leliana approached them and took Emma's hand. "Vous sentez-vous mieux, ma chère?"
"Oui, je me sens mieux, mais humilié!"
"There is no reason for you to feel humiliated, chère. Alistair, you should catch up to everyone else; they are on the other side of the market, near the turn off for Genitivi's home. We will meet you there."
Alistair held Emma close. "Will you be okay with Leliana helping you?"
"I think so. Thank you, Ali," she whispered.
Alistair grinned at the nickname, kissed the top of her head, and turned to Leliana. "Thanks for helping us." Reluctantly, he turned to walk to the other side of the market.
"Leliana, this is going to sound crazy, but can you whisper the Chant with me as we walk? When I was in Ostagar, it was more of a distraction to speak the Chant out loud than to recite it in my head."
"Me, refuse an opportunity to speak the Chant?" Leliana grinned. "What part do you want to recite?"
"Trials seems appropriate."
When Leliana and Emmalynn were in sight of the group, Alistair came over and took Emma's hand looking into her eyes. "Em, how are you feeling?"
"Better."
"Good." His shoulders visibly relaxed as he signed, clearly in relief.
As they returned to the group Aedan was being confronted by a knight.
Alistair was surprised. "Ser Landry?"
Landry looked up. "Ser Alistair, what are you doing here with these regicides?"
AN: Bioware owns all - I just play in the pool
** Dialogue from game
This was tough to write because I had to tap into my own fear of crowds and translate it to a story. Many thanks to my Beta ElyssaCousland. Thank you to those are reading. Thank you to those who have faved and are following Thank you to Judy, and Lightningstorm99 for your reviews. Please review, if you can.