Chapter 18 = = Haven for Who?

The closer they got to Haven, the more unsettled the horses became. At Alistair's suggestion, the group back-tracked two miles to the clearing they'd passed just before the horses had gotten squirrelly.

Once the horses were secured and calm, Alistair talked to Aedan and Surana. "I recommend not riding the rest of the way to Haven. Given how unsettled the horses became, even the most experienced rider could be tossed off the saddle - not to mention the horses running away."

Surana nodded. "I agree. Although I have to say that the horses' reactions do not bode well for what we'll find at Haven."

Aedan nodded as he took out the map. "I know, that is very worrisome." Turning his attention to the map, he mused, "As far as I can tell, Haven is about three miles up the path. We'll make camp here and get an early start in the morning." He turned to the group. "Okay, new plan. We make camp here, leave in the morning, and walk the remaining three miles to Haven."

Leliana looked concerned. "Who will stay with the horses? They should be tended to while we're gone, yes?"

Aedan smiled "You are one step ahead of me, Lel."

Sten crossed his arms and glowered, "I will stay. Losing the horses will only lengthen this detour from our main mission."

Morrigan shifted from her bird form right next to Surana, who startled at her sudden presence.

With more disdain than she usually expressed, she looked at Aedan. "I too shall stay. I have no desire to see an ornate vase full of ancient dust."

"Thank you, Sten…Morrigan. Alright everyone let's make camp."

~oOOo~

Sten was sitting by his tent meditating, and Morrigan was out and about in bird form. Everyone else was sitting around the campfire. They had finished supper, and several were having some tea, or something a bit stronger courtesy of the Arl's collection of spirits, of which Zevran deftly packed a careful selection.

Leliana looked into the fire and wistfully sighed. "I miss marzipan."

"What's marzipan?" Surana asked.

"marzipan is a dough made from a mix of sugar or honey and flour that you can sculpt into whatever shapes you want. The only limits are the imagination and skill of a pâtissier. I remember at Lady Diamont's Wintersend salon, her pâtissier created a miniature of the chapel in the Cathedral at Val Royeaux.

"The chapel itself was not edible, it was beautiful though and cleverly served as a tray for the marzipan. The pâtissier sculpted miniature versions of very ornate ladies' hats and put them on all the pews. There must have been fifty of them, each one unique. They were magnifique."

"Ah yes, the exotic Orlesian hats! Didn't you tell us about a woman who decorated her hat with live birds…which then became inconveniently incontinent." Aedan grinned

Surana snickered. "I'm guessing that is not one of the hat's he sculpted."

"Well considering these were miniature, you would hardly be able to see the sh—dung."

Leliana looked slightly ill and pushed Aedan's shoulder. "That's a horrible thought! Besides it, the birds were part of her hairstyle, not her hat!

"Her hair?" Surana squawked. "Yuck!"

"Tease me if you will, but the marzipan was perfection."

"In Ostwick, dessert is the most important part of a feast. My mother told me that reputations can be made or destroyed depending on the success of the dessert course." Then Emmalynn began to chuckle. "Rana, do you remember when you caught the cookie-thief?"

Surana laughed. "How could I forget catching the Knight-Commander red-handed!"

Before Emmalynn could respond, Aedan almost choked on this brandy. "Wait, you mean Knight-Commander Greagoir, the single most humorless man I have ever met, stole cookies?"

"Yes, and Rana caught him, literally red-handed."

Aedan put his mug down. "I have to hear this."

"To preface this, Cook was at her wit's end. Whenever she made cookies, she would have to make two extra batches because two dozen of them would go missing. Naturally, Cook blamed the apprentices, but Rana and I knew our apprentices were innocent."

"Was Cook her actual name?"

"No, her name as Gwladys Cadwalader. The children found it very difficult to pronounce as did, some of the less well-traveled templars. After it hearing it mangled so many ways she said to just call her Cook."

"What were some of the mispronunciations?" Alistair asked.

"Let me think." Emmalynn pursed her lips for a moment. "Ah yes… some of the bad ones were Caterwaller, Gowladdles, Cadwalter, and Cowlarder."

Leliana giggled. "Oh, the poor woman! I shouldn't laugh…but I cannot help it."

Emmalynn grinning continued. "Cook found a new recipe, which called for the cookies to be glazed with some kind of sweet syrup. Hot syrup sticks to the skin and continues to burn until it's washed off. Our cookie thief either didn't notice the glaze or didn't realize how hot the cookies were."

"I just happened to be near the kitchens." Surana comically winked at the group. "So, imagine my surprise when I heard the voice of our Knight-Commander yelling a stream of very creative invectives – something about the Maker and Andraste doing wicked things. I, of course, had to come to his rescue."

"I shudder to think what Mother Agatha would have done if she'd heard him!" Emmalynn snickered.

Alistair was laughing. "What happened when you found him?"

"I found him standing in the middle of the kitchen. He must have been holding the cooling rack at the time because it was on the floor and most of the cookies were scattered around it."

"There were also a couple of cookies stuck to the wall next to him, as I recall," Emmalynn added.

Surana nodded. "The Knight-Commander was trying to wipe the glaze off of his hands, and not really having much success. He was hopping up and down and screaming, so I quickly coated his hands with a thin layer of ice and went to get M."

"When Rana found me, I was having some tea with Wynne. She has been at the circle for at least as long as our Knight-Commander, so when Rana told us what happened Wynne decided to come along.

"By the time we reached the kitchen, the layer of ice on Greagoir's hands had effectively turned the syrup layer to candy. We then discovered just how enormous a sweet tooth the Knight-Commander had because we caught him licking his hands!"

Alistair was laughing so hard tears were coming out of his eyes, and he couldn't speak. Zevran had to put down his drink because it started to slosh around as he laughed.

"I doubt I will ever be able to look Greagoir in the face without cackling," Aedan moaned, still laughing.

Everyone was still chuckling as they made their way to their tents for the night.

Surana and Zevran were on the first watch. Still sitting next to each other by the fire, Zevran leaned over to Surana. "Caro, perhaps you can tell me of the wicked things your Knight Commander screamed? You could play the Maker, and I would happily be Andraste."

Surana looked at Zevran, cocked an eyebrow and smirked. "First we would need to find a large stick and then use plenty of lubrication."

Zevran laughed. "Don't tease me, Caro. I can find a large enough stick."

Surana couldn't speak; he just smiled and blushed.

~oOOo~

When they arrived at the village of Haven, they learned two things: One, the town was led by a Revered Father Eirik. Two, the lone guardsman who said, 'the ashes of Andraste were nothing but a legend,' was not a convincing liar.

Having been told by the guard that they could trade for supplies at the shop, then leave, Aedan bid the guard farewell.

"Let's go trade for supplies," Aedan said brightly, then he led the group around the side of a building so the guardsman couldn't see them.

"Clearly, all is not what it seems," Zevran said quietly.

Leliana was angry. "Even the horses knew there was trouble here. Male priests? That is Tevinter heresy!"

Emmalynn felt a sense of rightness pulling her forward, but also a profound sense of danger that urged caution. "Aedan, we need to look around here. If any of Redcliffe's knights found Haven they would not have left voluntarily…if they were able to leave at all."

Aedan looked solemn as he nodded in agreement. "We need to split up. Emmalynn and Leliana go find this shop, Surana and Zevran search the far side of this level of the village, Alistair and I will look around this side. We will meet Emmalynn and Leliana at the shop."

Built into an area of the Frostbacks, the village spanned multiple levels, Leliana and Emmalynn found the shop on the second level. However, the shop clerk wasn't there. Feeling a draft, they searched and found its source–the back door was wide open.

Around the hall from the door, they also found the remains of two Redcliffe knights. Emmalynn knelt by them, looking for any way to identify them. Both had amulets, each one slightly different, and one carried what seemed to be a letter but rendered illegible by the blood it had bathed in. Emmalynn put them in her pack and stood up.

That's when both women heard the sounds of fighting. "We need to go, Leli."

They hurried down to the first level and saw Zev, Surana, Alistair, and Aedan surrounded by villagers.

Leliana got out her bow. "Let's see if we can even up the odds. Yes?"

Emmalynn looked at the villagers. "They have a mage among them; two in fact. See there?"

Leliana's arrows flew true, and both mages went down. Villagers began looking for the source of the arrows, but both women had ducked down out of sight.

The ones who looked around were quickly taken down by Zevran. With both mages dead, Surana could focus attention on the other villagers, incinerating several and freezing others that Alistair then shattered with his shield.

Leliana fired two more arrows, and the fight quickly ended. Emmalynn ran down to see if healing was needed. When she got there, she was staring wide-eyed at the dead villagers. "What happened, Aedan?"

"We found an altar in that building. It was covered in human blood."

Emmalynn gasped. "Blood magic?"

Surana nodded. "It would seem so."

"When we walked out of the building we were attacked by the villagers, and the guardsman," Aedan explained. "Thanks for the assist Lel. Did you all find the shop?"

Emmalynn nodded. "Yes, and in it, we found the remains of two Redcliffe knights." She shook her head. "They died searching for the ashes, which are clearly here, and the villagers clearly know where. Aedan, I suggest we find this Revered father."

"Just what I had in mind."

As they walked up the hill to the Haven chantry, Alistair looked baffled. He stopped walking and cocked his head like he heard something. The rest of the party stopped. Emmalynn, who had been walking next to him, held up a hand to stave off any of their group.

"Ali?"

"Em, I have this weird feeling."

"Weird how? Do you feel ill?"

"No. I feel something here." He placed his hand over his heart. "But it isn't pain, and my heart rate is normal."

"Do you feel like something is pulling it?"

"Yes! That's exactly what it feels like."

"Does it make you feel worried?"

"No, quite the opposite, it feels like I am…supposed to be doing this."

"Like a sense of rightness?"

Alistair slowly nodded his head. "Yes, rightness. I feel like I am being pulled and it fills me with a sense of rightness, but I also feel danger."

"I feel that too, but for me, it is coming from Hope."

"Perhaps I am getting the feelings through you."

Emma wasn't convinced, but now was not the time to ferret it out. "Could be. I don't suggest you act on it until we are sure what it is."

~oOOo~

They found Brother Genitivi in the chantry. He had been held captive and tortured by the now dead Revered Father Eirik—a blood mage.

After Emma healed Genitivi, he led them to the entrance of what he called the Ruined Temple.

"Emma, do you still feel it?".

"Yes, the pull is stronger, but the sense of danger is also strong. Is that what you feel?

"Yes, I think we'll face more trouble."

"At least we're feeling the same thing. I'd be worried if one of us felt danger and the other didn't."

They were able to navigate the caverns by Emmalynn's growing direction sense as she relied on the pull on her soul. Periodically, she would ask Alistair what he felt, and the two of them continued to feel the same pull in the same direction and the same sense of danger.

The danger came in the form of the Disciplines of Andraste, a cult, and their leader Father Kolgrim. Kolgrim explained that Andraste had been reborn, but the ashes were preventing her from being whole. While he exulted about how Andraste had been reborn as a dragon, Leliana put an arrow between his eyes. Then they were attacked by the cultists.

As the last of the cultists lay dying, Leliana scoffed. "Andraste, the Maker's bride, the woman who was burned at the stake, coming back as a dragon?"

As they exited the cavern at the top of the mountain they saw the high dragon; the supposedly reborn Andraste was resting nearby but ignored them. They entered the stone building Genitivi had described. It felt ancient, but it was far from a crumbling ruin.

Emmalynn and Alistair both stopped for a moment to take in the carvings and statues. Emmalynn looked at Alistair. "You feel it, too?"

He nodded. "I do. This is where you and I need to be."

Before either could talk about the 'you and I' part of his statement, Aedan, who had gone ahead with the rest of the group, motioned for them to catch up.

Once in the entryway, Aedan called the party to a halt. "This must be the Guardian Kolgrim was talking about."

Alistair looked at his winged helmet. "Aedan, is that a Griffon helm?"

"Large cheek plates, long nasal, griffon wings. Looks like much higher quality than some of the ones I saw at Ostagar."

"Perhaps it would be politer to talk to him not about him, yes?" Leliana none too tactfully said.

Emmalynn looked at the Guardian. He's been here since Andraste died. "Ali? How are you doing?"

"The immediate sense of danger is gone, but the pull is far stronger."

"It is."

They walked up to the man in plate armor who introduced himself as the Guardian. He referred to the party as pilgrims and explained about how he was a Disciple of Andraste, and the split between him and Kolgrim's cultists. After expressing his gratitude to the group for ridding the area of them, he spoke of tests to judge whether a pilgrim was worthy of finding the ashes.

Then he started asking questions.

"Aedan Cousland. The late Warden-Commander exacted consent from your dying father to allow you to join the Wardens. He did so by promising he would save you and the Teyrna. But your mother refused to leave your father's side and said she would buy you time to escape. Do you still blame yourself for your mother's death?"

"Not as much as I used to. However, I still resent the late Warden-Commander's ruthlessness."

"Warden…Surana. Jowan betrayed your trust by choosing to spend his life with someone else, a woman named Lily, not you. You betrayed Jowan to Irving, nearly getting Jowan killed and costing Lily her freedom. Was it a responsible action or was it revenge?"

The normally open and affable Surana looked guarded and then crestfallen. "I never thought of it quite that way…I think…maybe it was a bit of both."

"Ser Alistair, Knight of Rainesfere, son of the late King Maric, brother of the late King Cailan. The Theirin dynasty, to which Ferelden owes its freedom, ends if you do not take the throne. What stops you? Your heart or your mind?"

"First, the Theirin line continues through me whether or not I sit on the throne. Second, Anora has been a capable and well-loved Queen; why would I need to take the throne?"

Emma had listened to the Guardian's questions. They were all equally blunt and intrusive. But she realized that the questions had one thing in common. They are essentially asking if we are being truthful with ourselves?

The Guardian finally turned his gaze to Emmalynn. "Senior Enchanter Emmalynn Amell. You panicked at Ostagar and again in Denerim. Is it being seen that you fear, or is it seeing?"

Emmalynn matched the Guardian's formal tone. "Neither. I am not afraid of people seeing me nor am I afraid of seeing people."

"I speak not of your eyes."

"I promised not to use that sight."

The Guardian said no more and allowed everyone to enter the temple.

When they entered the first room, Surana said. "These are Ash Wraiths."

Emmalynn nodded, "They are in the guise of people from Andraste's life."

"How do you know that?" Aedan asked.

"I recognize them from my studies."

The first spirit was of a mature woman. "Echoes from a shadow realm, whispers of things yet to come. Thought's strange sister dwells in night, is swept away by dawning light. Of what do I speak?"

Aedan squinted in thought, then answered. "You speak of Dreams."

The spirit nodded and to everyone's surprise looked at Emmalynn.

Emmalynn started, confused for a moment. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then nodded and opened her eyes. "You speak of a forewarning that was not enough to save your daughter from a tragic death. You are Brona, mother of Andraste. Brona, let not sorrow and regret bind you further."

The dust fell away, and the spirit vanished.

The party turned and stared at Emmalynn, who looked a bit surprised. "Hope wants me to speak these spirit's truths."

The next was a young woman. "The smallest lark could carry it, while a strong man might not. Of what do I speak?"

Leliana answered. "You speak of a tune."

Emmalynn added. "A carefree tune of the simple beauty of life, a tune shared by two young girls before the complexity of the Maker's call. You are Ealisay a dear childhood friend of Andraste. Be with your friend, and again sing of the simple beauty of life, both here and in the beyond." As with the spirit of Brona, the spirit of Ealisay also vanished.

The next spirit was dressed in the clothes of a chantry priest, but his voice rang with clarity of command. "No man has seen it but all men know it. Lighter than air, sharper than any sword. Comes from nothing but would fell the strongest armies. Of what do I speak?"

Alistair answered. "You speak of hunger." He looked to Emmalynn.

"Hunger for food made scarce for the enemies of the Maker. You are Cathaire, leader of Andraste's army. Go to your place at the Maker's side, which you earned not by strength of arms, but by strength of heart."

The next spirit was clearly Andraste's husband Maferath. "A poison of the soul, passion's cruel counterpart; from love she grows, till love lies slain. Of what do I speak?"

Emmalynn's voice carried an edge of anger as she answered, "You speak of jealousy, but your jealousy was not born out of love for your wife, it was born out of competition for your wife's power. You are Maferath, the betrayer of your wife, betrayer of the power of beauty, and betrayer of the force of goodness. Your soul is bound in your guilt and will anchor you forever to the void."

Like the others, the ashes fell away and the spirit vanished. However, a mournful sound of a soul in pain briefly filled the room and then all was silent once again.

Surana looked at Emmalynn, "Uh, M, that was kind of scary."

Emmalynn shrugged, "It is what needed to be said."

The next spirit was of a bald elven man. "I'd neither a guest nor a trespasser be. In this place I belong, that belongs also to me. Of what do I speak?"

Aedan answered hoarsely as his eyes misted over, clearly thinking of Highever. "You speak of home."

Emmalynn continued. "A place of the Elves' own, a place of freedom, a place for which the elves have long yearned but has been long out of reach. You are Thane Shartan. You sacrificed yourself because your enemy's enemy became a true friend, a friend born from mutual respect and genuine affection. Go forth and find your real friends as they await you in the beyond."

The next was a woman in Tevinter Robes. "An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. The debt of blood must be paid in full. Of what do I speak?"

Emmalynn answered as she had with Maferath. "You speak of vengeance, mercy's counterpart. You speak of justice twisted by power's lust. You are the one who demanded merciless justice; you are the one who believed blood should be the coin of your realm. You are the Archon's wife. You are Lady Vasilia. You mistakenly believed that your enemies incurred the blood-debt. You will forever wander the void in a sea of blood tethered to your bankrupt soul."

Aedan smiled ruefully, "Shit, Emmalynn, remind me to never piss-off Hope…or you."

The next spirit was clearly Archon Hessarian. "She wields the broken sword and separates true kings from tyrants. Of what do I speak?"

Surana answered. "You speak of Mercy." He then nodded to Emmalynn.

"Mercy shown to end the suffering of another, and in the hopes that mercy will be shown to him. You are Archon Hessarian. Know that the mercy you showed tipped the scale in your favor. Rest in peace."

The last spirit was a man who also wore chantry robes, belying the ring of command in his voice. The bones of the world stretch towards the sky's embrace. Veiled in white, like a bride greeting her groom. Of what do I speak?

Alistair answered. "You speak of a mountain."

Emmalynn spoke, "You are the former Aegis of Maferath the Betrayer. You are Havard. You proved your worth when you defied the Betrayer. You proved your worth again when you chose this mountain as a final resting place, one that is both far from Tevinter and lies in her home country of Ferelden. You have done well; be at peace."

As the last spirit left, her companions surrounded Emmalynn. "Where did you get these truths? Were you speaking or was Hope?" Aedan asked.

"The urging was Hope, the words were mine. My knowledge comes from the Chant of Light, from reading the histories, and all kinds of related subjects."

Surana looked at that group. "You do realize that M and I spent ten years in a place with one of the most extensive libraries south of Tevinter? She read a lot."

"Yet, the cadence and phrasing were not how you typically speak," Leliana commented.

Emmalynn shrugged, "My cadence and phrasing are similar to the books I've read, and the tone of the Chant." Then she began to look anxious. "L... Look, if you are uncomfortable around me, or don't trust me, I understand. I'll stay near the Guardian and wait for you; once we get the ashes to the Arl, I will leave your company."

Alistair took Emma's hand in his, holding it to his chest, supportively.

Aedan quickly assured her, "I think I can speak for everyone, we trust you. No questions."

"Yes, how could we not?" Leliana eagerly agreed.

"Indeed, Hermosa curadora, trusting you is very easy."

"Thanks, everyone. That means a lot.".

Surana leaned towards his best friend, "M, you always have my support, without question."

Emma smiled. "I know and I treasure it."

They exited the room of riddles to a place where Aedan was visited by a manifestation of his father. Seeing Bryce hit Aedan, and to some extent, Alistair, like a punch in the gut.

The manifestation saw Emmalynn and with a slight nod of his head she knew that this was no false apparition, but the true spirit of Aedan's father, Bryce Cousland. She called out. "Aedan, do not dismiss what you see."

Aedan looked doubtful.

"Trust in Hope, Aedan."

Emmalynn saw the light come to his eyes then tears. He turned to speak again with his father. When the spirit left, Aedan hugged Emmalynn. "Thank you. Thank you."

She pulled back. "Thank Hope. I was just the messenger."

Alistair took her hand and held it to his heart. "I love you," he whispered.

"And I you."

The rest of the trials were more straightforward. The last was to shed all worldly possessions and walk through the fire. This meant going through the flame naked. Emma had never been naked in front of anyone, including the all-watching Templars. But she knew that beyond the fire was where she had been pulled.

She looked at Alistair. "What do you feel?"

"That whatever has been pulling is on the other side of those flames."

Emma nodded. Quickly, shedding her clothes, she walked through the fire with her companions right behind her.

AN: Thank you to ElyssaCousland, my wonderful beta. Thank you to Judy for your reviews, and to those who have been following and faving.