Chapter 24 = = Speak Only When Spoken To
Having just returned the books to their shelves, she was collecting her quills and parchment when the Arl walked into the library.
"Your Grace," she curtsied and smiled. "I was just leaving if you need the library."
The Arl did not return the smile. "No. Actually, I want to have a private word with you. Please have a seat."
"Oh, of course." I have a bad feeling about this.
The Arl didn't say anything at first, he just looked at her. She sat with perfect posture, her hands were on her lap, and she calmly waited for him to break the silence. If he is trying to unnerve me, he is wasting his time. I was taught not to speak until spoken to.
After a while, the Arl looked away and cleared his throat. "Senior Enchanter, it would seem that my nephew is quite taken with you."
Emmalynn couldn't stop from smiling, "I am humbled to have the affection of such an amazing man."
"He is a shining example of a knight – honorable, astute, and wise beyond his years – talents that will be wasted being merely a Bann or even an Arl, wouldn't you say?"
"How do you mean, your Grace?" Where is he going with this?
"I mean that he is meant to be King."
"Pardon my ignorance, your Grace, but Alistair supports Queen Anora."
"You mean the Dowager Queen. Besides we need a king of the Theirin bloodline."
Not knowing what the Arl wanted, Emmalynn chose her words carefully so she could get more information. "Your Grace, you would need to discuss that with Alistair, and not me, yes?"
Eamon looked and sounded like a concerned genteel elder statesman. "Senior Enchanter, Ferelden would not have come to be, nor, would it have become the Ferelden we love, without the Theirin monarchs. Calenhad Theirin united Ferelden and King Maric delivered us from the Orlesian occupation.
"Even if the Wardens end the blight quickly, our ravaged country will need to heal and our civil war to end. Ferelden will need the security of a Theirin king. Alistair needs to be that King. Unfortunately Alistair's feelings for you are making him ignore his responsibilities to Ferelden. For the welfare of the country you and I love, I urge you to end your relationship with him."
"Your Grace, forgive me, but why aren't you speaking to Alistair about this?"
Eamon sighed in frustration and the veneer of the gentility and statesmanship vanished. In its place was an arrogant, powerful nobleman who bullied people to get his way. "Let me be blunt: You are a mage. As such, you cannot be his queen, nor can you be his mistress. The best you can hope for is an occasional indiscretion. As long as Alistair believes you care for him he will never accept being King. Therefore, you must break his heart."
"How can you ask me to do that to your nephew?"
"He will get over it."
Emmalynn felt nauseated, frightened, and angry, but she wasn't going to do anything just because he told her to. "And if I do not do as you say?"
The Arl stated plainly, "I've learned that the two templars sent here with the older mage are suspicious of you both for having survived the attack at the Circle and think that the Knight Commander was wrong to let you leave. I will tell them that I suspect you both of consorting with the blood mage, Jowan, to rescue him from the Grey Wardens and turn apostate. They will take you straight to Denerim and let the Grand Cleric deal with you. I understand she has a penchant for believing the worst of mages and favors making you mages Tranquil."
He stood up. "You have until sundown tomorrow, Senior Enchanter." He turned and left the room.
After he left the room, Emmalynn felt disconnected from her body, like she was in a cocoon. She couldn't hear anything. She couldn't feel anything. The only thing she could see was Alistair's smile.
She had no idea how much time had passed, when suddenly she felt as if she'd been slammed back into her own body: her senses returned with a vengeance, the hearth flames sounded like a fire storm, her body felt as if she gained 20 stone, the vision of Alistair's face vanished as she saw the room around her, and smelled the rosewater Arl Eamon used to wash his hands.
Wynne told me that the templars who escorted her are two of ten templars who were hand-picked by the Grand Cleric to be transferred to Kinloch. They were to make up for those who'd been killed during Uldred's rebellion. I need to tell Aedan and Wynne what is going on. Andraste help me do what I need to do, I cannot let Alistair be manipulated by the Arl, and I cannot let Wynne be swept up in this.
She took several deep breaths, biting back the tears threatening to overwhelm her. When she felt calm, she took out her quill and parchment and wrote notes to Wynne and to Aedan, asking them to meet her at the windmill.
She knew Aedan and Rana weren't back from provisioning, so she included her note to Aedan in with her note to Wynne and left the library. She headed to the infirmary, where Wynne was seeing to Jowan.
When she arrived, Ser Perth, who stood guard, nodded his head. "Good afternoon, My Lady." He smiled. "What can I do for you?"
"Is Senior Enchanter Wynne inside?"
"She is. Would you like to go in and speak to her?"
"Actually, could you deliver this to her, to read?" She handed him the envelope with the letters to her and to Aedan tucked inside.
"Certainly."
"Thank you, Ser Perth." She curtsied.
He bowed in return.
Once Perth entered the Infirmary, Emmalynn left. Not wanting to run into anyone, especially Alistair, she used the passage from the castle to the windmill. After she entered the windmill, she made sure the trapdoor was closed and the main door to the windmill was unlocked. She sat on the floor across from the door, brought her knees up to her chest buried her face in her hands and sobbed.
Wynne arrived and saw Emmalynn's tear-streaked face. "Maker, what's wrong child?"
Emmalynn was breathless from crying. "We need…to… wait for… Aedan."
"He said he will be here as soon as he can." Wynne took the sobbing girl into her arms, not knowing what had upset the young healer.
When Aedan arrived, Emmalynn steeled herself and recounted her talk with Eamon.
Aedan and Wynne were furious. Aedan said, "The Arl is crazy!"
"Crazy, but not stupid – he gave me no choice." Emmalynn's anger helped he keep her tears under control. "However, I refuse to lie to Alistair, nor will I allow anything to happen to you, Wynne. If you go with Aedan, you'll be safe."
"No! The nerve of that man to even think he can use me as a hostage in this blackmail scheme is absurd!" Wynne raged.
Knowing her former mentor's tendency towards the overly stubborn, Emmalynn tried a different tact. "Wynne, you said the ten templars were hand-picked by Elemena. Did Greagoir ask her for additional templars?"
"No, soon after you left with the Wardens, they arrived from Denerim along with the authorization for the Right of Annulment.
"Didn't Greagoir revoke it?" Emmalynn was surprised.
"He did, but Greagoir said that she might not have received his message before she sent the authorization and templars. He destroyed Elemena's letter, which come to think of it, created some tension among the all the templars."
"Does Greagoir know if Elemena received his revocation notice?"
Wynne looked puzzled. "I honestly don't know. There was so much to do at the Circle after you left, and then the note from the Arl arrived and I was leaving for Redcliffe…" The elder mage's voiced softened as she spoke in part to herself and impart to Emmalynn and Aedan. "If Elemena received the revocation notice but sent the Right and the templars anyway…"
Aedan sighed. "Then it's possible the Grand Cleric wanted Greagoir to carry out the Right, but he didn't."
Wynne snapped, "Warden are you suggesting that Knight-Commander Greagoir would willingly defy the Grand Cleric?"
"Wynne, he would if he truly believed she was wrong, and you know that." Emmalynn said softly.
"Didn't you say that the Arl learned that the two templars didn't trust either of you?"
"He must have spoken to Ser Rylock, she is senior to Ser Philip." Wynne explained.
Emmalynn shook her head. "Then we don't know for certain what the two templars will actually do."
"Emmalynn, there has to be another way! Tell Alistair, now. You can pretend to have broken up. Wynne could go back to the circle and explain."
"If I go with you and the Arl finds out that Ali and I are still together – and he will – he will accuse me of being a maleficar. That would be politically disastrous for you as you try to garner support and aid against the Blight and Loghain's Regency. As long as I'm at the Circle, the Arl won't do anything to Wynne and the Wardens won't be compromised.
"Wynne you have to be their healer. They'll need one, and as Alistair is going to be fighting alongside the Wardens, that will quell the Arl. But I will not let him get away with trying to force Ali into a life he would hate." She desperately tried to stop the tears that were again beginning to blind her. "I…I will leave a letter under your bedroom door, Aedan. I need you to tell Ali everything I've told you and then give him my...my letter?"
"Will Alistair be suitably heartbroken for the Arl?" Aedan sneered, a murderous look replacing his normally affable expression.
Emmalynn nodded. "He will, but he will know the truth."
"Perhaps we should tell Bann Teagan?" Wynne suggested.
Emmalynn slowly shook her head. "He can't stop Eamon. He is Teagan's liege Lord. Besides, with me, Alistair can't become Bann."
"Alistair doesn't care about that," Aedan said.
"No, but Teagan might; I don't know for sure and I can't risk being wrong. I am leaving tonight while everyone is at dinner. It will be tomorrow morning before anyone knows I'm gone. I'll send word once I've arrived at Circle."
"What will you say to Alistair tonight?"
"I'll tell him that I'm feeling tired and need to turn in early, which is easy to believe as I am quite tired."
Wynne hugged her. "If you had broken it off earlier, the Arl's true colors may not have been revealed until it was too late. I am so sorry, my dear."
"Thank you, Wynne."
She hugged Aedan. "Please take…take care of Alistair, and tell Rana I'm sorry." The last came out as a whisper as Emmalynn could no longer hold back her tears.
~oOOo~
After talking to Wynne and Aedan, she returned to the castle, sat in her room and wrote a note to the Arl. After she washed her face she plucked-up her courage and looked for Alistair.
Keeping the pain out of her voice was excruciatingly difficult, but it was imperative that Alistair suspect nothing.
"Ali?"
"Hello gorgeous." He put his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug.
She returned the embrace and then pulled back rubbing her eyes. "I am frightfully tired. I got up way too early this morning, so I'm going to lay down and sleep."
"Shall I wake you for dinner?"
"No, actually, I think I just need to sleep until morning."
"You do look exhausted, but you also look beautiful. Rest as long as you need, my love. I'll see you in the morning."
He kissed her, and she hung onto him, soaking up the feeling of completion she knew she would never feel again. Finally, she let go. "Good night, Ali."
"Good night, my Emma."
She turned towards her room, not daring to look back. Goodbye my dearest one.
She didn't need to pack as she was only taking her journal; Emmalynn spent her time writing a letter to Alistair. She had to burn one draft after the tears smudged the ink, rendering it illegible. After she finished, she placed the notes for Eamon and for Alistair under Aedan's door. She waited until she was sure everyone had gone to dinner before she left for the stables. The grooms were in for the night no one would think anything about Emma taking Molly out for an evening ride.
When she arrived at the stables Molly was already saddled as was the horse standing next to it. Fear lanced through her heart. Maker please, don't let it be Alistair. When she saw Zevran appear from between the two horses, she let out the breath she'd been holding.
"Zevran?"
"Cara, your secret is safe. Aedan asked that I accompany you to make sure you get to Kinloch safely. No one will notice my absence and then I will return here with Molly."
Tears gathered in Emmalynn's eyes, her voice strained as she hugged the assassin. "Thank you, Zevran."
"I knew that one day you would throw yourself into my waiting arms."
Emmalynn rewarded him with a slight smile. "What would Rana say?"
"He could join us."
"Ick, Zev. He and I are like brother and sister!"
Zevran chuckled. "Come, let us leave this void."
Emmalynn nodded and swung into the saddle. They rode all night, stopping only long enough to rest the horses. Between that and using haste they were at Kinloch by mid-day. A very tired Emmalynn took her journal and, after petting Molly, gave Zevran a hug.
"Stay safe, Zevran. You have been a true friend, and I'll miss you."
"And will we all miss you, Cara. I will watch over Alistair and keep him safe."
Zevran stayed until he saw her enter the tower. He decided to spend the night at the inn, then left for Redcliffe.
~oOOo~
It was dawn when everyone realized Emmalynn was gone. Aedan took Alistair aside and explained what had happened, then gave him Emmalynn's letter.
My Beloved,
I am returning to Kinloch for the reasons Aedan just explained to you. I know your heart is breaking, as is mine. Regardless, I refuse to cheapen what we shared by lying and saying otherwise.
Move through this, my love, and find another woman worthy of all you are and all you have to give.
Above all – choose your own path!
You will always be in my heart-
Your Emma
~oOOo~
Walking into his study, the Arl was pleased. The mage decided to listen to me. I must prepare to help Teagan comfort the poor boy. As he sat down, he saw a letter on his desk addressed to him and opened it to read.
Your Grace,
Per your command, Alistair's heart is broken. As you read this I will be approaching Kinloch, where I will remain for the rest of my days. However, know this…I did not lie to Alistair. He knows exactly why I left.
In return, you will leave Wynne alone. She is to remain as my replacement. I'm sure you'll agree that it is critical to keep the wardens – and your nephew – alive as they fight this Blight. To do that requires the best healer possible. Wynne, my former mentor, is at least as good as me and is the best you'll find outside of Tevinter.
May the Light of Andraste reach you and guide you during these dark times.
Sincerely,
Senior Enchanter Emmalynn Amell
AN: Thank you to my Beta ElyssaCousland. Thank you to Melysande and Judy for your support and reviews.