Chapter One: It's All Coming Back To Me Now

Courtrooms and Milkovich's are not friends; this is one of the first lessons I learned from Pops when he came back into my life. Although I had yet to take on that monniker, he was sure to tell me that fact. Courtrooms scared the shit out of me, and why wouldn't they? When you're suddenly shoved out of the way after being found not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect, only to have your attorney be gunned down, right before your eyes?

Almost as if he sensed my anxiety, Axel reached out and took my hand. He smiled slightly then as I turned to look at him, and he pressed his lips to my forehead. "Don't worry," he whispered out the side of his mouth. "It's going to be fine."

"We've been stuck in here for two months, ever since I came back from Los Angeles," I said back to him, the anxiety filling my voice. "I'm sorry if this has been such a pain in the ass to you, Axel, really, but Yev's my brother…"

"You don't have to explain it to be, Iana. I get it," he said, squeezing my hand. "We took the three months that you were gone to take a step back, and I'm relieved to have you back in my life again."

I smiled then, the unexpectedness of the gesture catching him momentarily off-guard. "I'm glad to have you back in my life, too, Axel," I said then.

A door opened off the side of the courtroom then, and I launched to my feet as Yev was led out of the back room. Garbed from head to toe in a yellow jumpsuit, his wrists and ankles shackled in place, my heart went out to him as he was led forward. I threw my arms around him once he was close enough, and Dad, as his lawyer, was able to get the shackles in his wrists undone so that he could hug me back.

"Are you okay?" I whispered, trying to keep the tears from my eyes as I clutched onto him, my arms wound tight around his frame.

"I'm fine, Iana, really," he said, his voice quiet and subdued as he squeezed me back for a moment, before his eyes looked around the courtroom. "No Desmond today?"

I sighed, pulling back. "No, sorry. Most of his texts to me are asking me to take Penny and Lacey's phone calls, but today something came up with the company. He's sorry."

Yev nodded. "It's cool," he replied. "And Pops?"

"Trying to prevent Mom from killing Terry," I replied. "Uncle Ian is serving as back-up. As for the rest of them, they're working."

"We'll make do with what we've got, then," he said, turning to Axel.

"How're you doing, man?" Axel asked, and the pair gave each other one-armed hugs. "They treating you all right in there?"

He shrugged. "Best of a bad situation all around, I guess." He hesitated for a moment then before he looked up at Axel. "Listen, I'm sorry about all this. I didn't want to run…"

"It's okay, Yev," Axel said, cutting him off, squeezing his shoulder. "Although Iana had to explain to me what happened, I've come to understand her way of thinking." Axel turned to me and smiled. "She just didn't want to lose her brother. I can accept that."

Yev smiled. "You're good for my sister, Richland," he said, chuckling.

"Hey," I said, playfully shoving him back. "Not up to you."

It was the movement of the bailiff stepping forward that freaked me out slightly, and my heart thundered in my chest as Axel never let go of my hand. "All rise for Judge Vincent," said the bailiff, before returning to stand in his original position.

Yev sighed, smiling at us both before he moved back to stand with Dad.

Judge Vincent swept out from his chambers, moving to his chair and shuffling the paperwork he held before him. "Be seated," he said, and waited until everyone was sitting. "Today we begin sentencing for Yevgeny Milkovich. Mr. Milkovich, you've pled no contest to the charge of assault and battery towards Terry Milkovich, your grandfather, a crime that was originally pinned on that of your sister, Iana Milkovich. Miss Milkovich has previously testified that she took the blame for the crime, not only due to her brother's record, but because she believed that she had instigated the crime itself, and because she didn't want to lose another member of her family. I am prepared to make a ruling on sentencing today. Will the defendant please rise?"

Yev got to his feet, and Dad stood beside him, squeezing onto his shoulder.

"The sentencing for the accused, Yevgeny Milkovich, will be as follows…"

. . .

The temperature change as I stepped through the airport at O'Hare was drastically different than it had been in Los Angeles the summer before. With Uncle Liam's work taking him temporarily to New York, I had been trusted to stay at his apartment and use his car with Hailey for the duration of the summer. It didn't matter to me that we were alone; in fact, it gave me ample opportunity to think things over, and good ways to go about presenting a certain someone with the paperwork that was wearing a hole in my carry-on bag.

I held tightly onto Hailey as we stepped outside into the cool, mid-September air, adjusting her jacket around her shoulders. Her head was placed in the space between my neck and chin, and I was reminded of myself doing so with Pops for so many years. I looked down at my phone, relief flowing through me when the text I'd been waiting for arrived and, looking up, saw my own car pulling into the pick up area.

"Hey, kiddo," Pops said, pulling up curbside and getting out, letting my car idle for a moment as he embraced the both of us. "How was LA? You doing okay? Hailey okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, napped for most of the plane trip both ways, thank god," I joked, allowing him to take my suitcase and put it into the trunk of the car. I approached the back door, which I opened, and set Hailey in her carseat, relieved that she still fit after many months of being without it. I strapped her in and made sure she was comfortable before I kissed her forehead and shut the door, before climbing into the passenger seat and passaging my temples.

"Flight give you a headache?" Pops asked, getting in driver's side and pulling the car along, easily filing into the line of traffic wishing to leave airport property.

I scoffed. "The last three months have given me a headache," I replied. "Thought I was getting away from all the drama in South Side. Guess I was wrong."

"It's still early," Pops replied, and I gazed at my dashboard clock, revealing the time to be just after six a.m. "Maybe the day'll turn better."

I rolled my eyes, leaning back against my seat. "I guess the main takeaway here is my hope that Hailey won't remember this trip."

Pops raised his eyebrows. "All of it?"

I laughed, shaking my head and turning to look at him. "Well, some of it I hope she remembers. I mean, I had to take her to Disneyland, even though she really couldn't do much out of my arms during the trip. I didn't want to be one of those parents who walks around their kid like a goddamned pet…"

"How'd the paperwork go?"

I shrugged. "Can't complain. Cost me a pretty penny to get the signature I wanted. But Andy's a son of a bitch anyway. I had enough set aside from being COO at Nell's Rags to pay the lump sum he wanted."

"It was two years of tuition," Pops said, shaking his head. "I'd say if he comes knocking after that, send Murphy or Nicholas after him."

I smirked. "Not you?"

He shook his head. "Nah. I'm done with all that. Last thing you need is a father and a brother locked up in the joint."

My smirk was wiped off my face then, as I felt my entire body tense up. "How's Yev been doing?" I asked. "I haven't been as in touch. Wanted to be off the radar as much as possible, especially since Penny wouldn't leave me alone about why I quit like that…"

"He understands that, Iana, don't worry," Pops said. "Things have been pretty quiet with him for the most part. All he does is sleep, eat, do his job at the diner, and spends as much time with Desmond as possible, who's been very supportive. Thankfully, Murphy hasn't made him disclose, since she owns the joint, and she's promoted him to head waiter."

I smiled. "Nepotism," I muttered.

Pops sighed. "Look, Iana, I know you think you were doing the right thing by taking the rap for Yev last year, but…"

"I did do the right thing, Pops," I told him, my voice firm. "I'm not going to discuss this with you guys, Mom and Dad, or Uncle Ian again. I love you all, and I respect your opinion, but I did what I had to do. I provoked the damned situation, and I'm not proud of it, but, in the moment, I thought Yev needed to know the truth. That was the lack of meds talking, I know that now, but I hate that I let it get that far, I really do."

"Still taking your meds?"

I nodded. "Haven't stopped since the stint I had to do in the psych ward," I said. "I'm not going to stop taking them again, unless there's a better alternative out there. I'm bipolar, and I need my meds to keep me in check. I get it now."

"Well, I'm just glad that Nicholas was willing to take Yev on as a client," Pops said as we got onto the freeway. "He's one of the best lawyers the State of Illinois has ever seen. If he doesn't get Yev the deal of a lifetime, I don't know who will."

I felt my phone vibrate then and, upon taking it out, saw that I had a text from Axel. I found myself smiling and quickly replied to it, letting him know that I'd landed safely and would try to come by and see him later. "He'll get him a good deal," I assured Pops.

"Who are you texting?"

"What?" I asked, quickly putting my phone back into my pocket. "No one."

"Iana."

I sighed. "Fine. It's Axel, okay?"

Pops raised his eyebrows. "Axel?"

I nodded. "Yeah. We've been talking."

"Since when?"

"Since after I got to LA," I replied, shrugging. "I needed someone to talk to who understood drama but wasn't part of the family unit. Told him everything…"

His eyes widened. "Everything?"

I sighed. "Yeah. Even about Franny kicking Clark out a few weeks after the wedding," I said, my voice soft. "Can't believe that he could've been in on Yev's arrest like that…"

Pops sighed. "I hope they can work it out. Ezra started calling him 'Dad'."

I rolled my eyes. "Hailey called Liam 'Dad'," I said bitterly, "or a baby's equivalent of that, and look what happened."

Pop's hands tightened on my steering wheel. "You say the word, kiddo, and if you want that son of a bitch put through a wall…"

"Pops, no," I said, my voice firm. "Like you said, the last thing I need is both my father and my brother locked up in the joint."

"This is different," Pops said firmly. "This is about my daughter…"

I shook my head at him. "It's not different," I told him. "It doesn't matter, because whatever Liam and I had is gone and done with. Not gonna happen again. Ever."

. . .

Once I'd gotten Hailey settled back home, Mom, who was overwhelmed with seeing her only grandchild again after three months, pretty much told me to carry on with my dad. I raised my eyebrows at that; I'd carried on with no help with my daughter for several weeks, and it had been absolutely fine. However, Mom was quick to insist.

"Mom, really," I said as I followed her downstairs, "it's fine…"

Mom rolled her eyes at me. "Franny's taking over at the diner today, so I'm free to watch my granddaughter," she said, kissing my cheek as she walked into the kitchen.

I stammered, moving after her. "But, Mom…"

She turned around and looked at me with a smile. "Look, sweetheart, I'm not blind. I know that there must be a few things that you want to do today."

I bit my lip, leaning back against the pillar beside the kitchen counter. "Well, I'll need to go to Yev's arraignment this afternoon. I'm driving him over."

"Nicholas isn't doing that?"

I shook my head, rolling my shoulders as I hopped up onto the counter, ignoring my mother's slight look of disapproval. "No," I replied. "Told him earlier that I'd be happy to do it. I've missed him over the summer, so…"

"You wouldn't have had to miss him if you didn't just suddenly disappear to LA for three months," Mom said, shaking her head as she walked over to the fruit bowl, and tossed my a honeycrisp apple, my favorite.

I sighed, biting into the apple and savoring the taste. "Mom, it was just something I had to do," I tell her, my mouth full.

"I had to hear from Penny of all people, after you took off from Franny's wedding, that you'd quit your job as COO," she replied, throwing her hands up in the air. "That was such a great job you had there, baby. Why'd you quit?"

I rolled my eyes. "Because I wasn't qualified," I replied.

"Well, are you going to do something about it?" she asked.

I grumbled under my breath, lifting up my ass so that I could take the envelope I'd put in my pocket just yesterday afternoon, and handed it over. "Does this look like I'm doing something about it?" I asked, watching as she unfolded it.

Mom gasped as she took in the first line of text on the page. "You applied to the business school at the University of Chicago?" she cried.

I laughed. "And got in," I replied. "They accessed my SAT scores, plus they took my acceptance into Northwestern into account. They apparently got access to my essay, stating that my pregnancy with Hailey prevented me from attending. That, plus the SAT scores and transcripts from high school, helped. But what really sealed the deal was my three-month stint as COO of Nell's Rags."

Mom raised her eyebrows. "Really?"

I nodded. "I completed three successful deals while there, and of course I had to use it in my work history. Despite everything that we've been through, Penny gave me a glowing recommendation, so the school is taking me on. Since I've got Hailey, though, and have to work, they've created a special program for me to be online-based. The only times I have to go in are meetings with my professors, if necessary, as well as academic advisors. And then there's certain exams I'll have to take on campus and so forth, plus graduation, when the time comes but, other than that, I can take classes at home."

"So, you're going to college, then?"

I smiled. "Yeah, I am," I replied.

"And Hailey?" she asked. "I'm happy to help however I can, but I still have my obligation to certain cases, and Patsy's…"

"Actually, that's the thing," I replied. "Penny actually got in touch with this really great daycare on my behalf, back when I was working for her. I was able to communicate enough with the people who work there that she made sure my spot hadn't been given away over the summer. I will be putting Hailey there for a few hours during the week. She'll get social time with other children her age, plus it's an advanced program that prepares the child for preschool. I took a virtual tour online and it's amazing."

"So, Hailey's enrolled in the program?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she is. And Penny paid for the entire thing, up until she's three, by which time she'll likely move onto a preschool. I got in touch with Lacey, and although she was annoyed at first at being used as a go-between, she was happy to fill in the blanks for me."

Mom sighed, leaning back up against the counter. "I just want to understand what went wrong with the entire thing, baby," she said softly. "I mean, I know you're eighteen and allowed to live life how you see fit, but I worry. You gave up a great-paying job and you haven't given anyone a reason for it yet, much less why you ran off over the summer."

I sighed, crossing my arms. "It's complicated."

She nodded. "Try me."

"Axel and I broke up just before the wedding," I replied, and she sighed, but otherwise didn't comment overtly about my relationship status. "He told me that he knew that there was something between me and Liam, but the way he said it… I don't know, it was different this time around. He didn't try to accuse me of anything; he just laid out the cards and explained it from his point of view. And I realized he was right."

She blinked. "You did?"

I nodded. "I did," I said quietly.

"What did you do then?"

"Went to see Liam," I told her, bringing up one foot so that it rested on the counter, and collided with my chest. "I went to see Liam, but there wasn't much talking involved. I said my brief piece and then we slept together."

Mom looked confused. "So, are you with Liam now?" she asked. "I'm sorry, I'm just lost. Is that why you quit Nell's Rags? Because Penny has a thing about you dating Liam? Does she think you're not good enough or something, or is it a conflict of interest because he's her brother? Is there a no dating family members policy?"

I shook my head. "No. No, it was nothing like that."

"Well, then I'm lost, honey," she replied, and I slowly raised my eyes to hers. "I think you're going to have to spell it out for it."

I sighed, looking away from her then. "He sent me away," I replied, my voice hitching a little bit at the end. "Look, I thought I was over it, but I guess I'm not…" My eyes flooded with tears then as I covered up my face. "Fuck, I really thought we had something. All these hints over the past year that he's been dropping about me not being with Axel, and alluding to the fact that he wanted me with him…"

"Oh, honey," Mom said, moving forward then and putting her arms carefully around me. "It's all okay, baby…"

Instead of pushing her away, or reacting with fright as I normally would've done at being caught unawares by a touch of any kind, I found myself clinging to her. "I don't understand it. He kept saying all these things, but maybe Liam just didn't want me with Axel because he didn't want me to be with anyone, not even him…"

"Did he give you any specific reason?" she asked.

"Why?" I demanded then, pulling back. "You mean, before he threw me out of his penthouse like I was a piece of trash?"

Her eyes flashed then. "He didn't."

I nodded. "He did."

"Son of a bitch," she whispered, her hands curling into fists. "I'll kill him."

"Don't," I replied, my voice breaking then as I managed to form the word. "Don't. Let's just forget about it. That's what I've been trying to do all summer, forget. Forget about the drama that I've successfully managed to constantly put myself in. Of course, my reasons for going to LA didn't include taking Hailey to Disneyland."

Mom raised an eyebrow. "You did take her, though, right?"

I nodded. "Of course I took her."

"Then, what was the real purpose of the trip? Was it just to get away? I know you stayed at my brother's place, Iana, and don't even try to hide it. Your uncle Liam may be married to his work, sweetheart, but we still talk, because we're family."

I dragged my hand over my face. "I did stay at his place. He left me the car, too," I said, and felt a chuckle escaping my lips. "But I had some business to attend to over there. Dad helped me draw up the paperwork."

She blinked. "Wait. So it was a legal thing?"

I nodded. "Exactly."

"What kind of legal thing?"

I raised my eyes to hers. "A termination of parental rights," I replied, shrugging my shoulders. "I just wanted to keep all my ducks in a row, to make sure Andy and his family couldn't claim rights over Hailey, because she's mine."

"Oh, jesus," she replied, shaking her head. "Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah. He met Hailey, said she was cute, but there didn't seem to be any kind of bond between them. So, he signed on the dotted line."

"He must've wanted something in return…"

I scoffed then, laughing bitterly. "Yeah. Costed me a few thousand dollars to pay for the final two years of his college, so that he could get his Bachelor's Degree without going into debt. But it was worth it, in the end," I replied. "Now, none of his family and come after what's mine. The document's legal, and I gave it to Dad before he left for work this morning. He's likely filing it as we speak."

"Wait. What about during the summer, before it was filed?"

"I lied and said I filed it immediately," I replied, shrugging. "What Andy doesn't know won't hurt him. Besides, he's got no claim to Hailey. As far as I know, it was just a donation. Hailey's my daughter, and nobody else's."

. . .

I stepped outside a few hours later, the September sun warm on my arms as I walked down the stairs and made my way towards my car. I looked up and saw Yev coming out of the house, and smiled at his outfit choice that day. I'd bought him a suit the spring before, when I was flush with cash, and he'd decided to wear it for his arraignment that day. I myself wore a blouse and suit pants, and as I approached him then, there was little hesitation as I threw my arms around him as we stood in the middle of the street.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey," I replied. "How are you doing? Okay?"

"Can't complain," he replied, pulling back and looking down at me. "You?"

I sighed. "Told Mom about the acceptance, and my plans about Hailey."

"Did you ask her to give you your old job back?"

I shook my head. "No. I told her about what happened with Liam, though, and why I needed to quit Nell's Rags. Let's just say it's enough now."

Yev nodded. "I can understand that," he replied, looking past me to my car. "We'd better get to the courthouse, then."

"No problem. Dad should already be waiting," I said, smiling at him.

We got into my car and headed directly to the courthouse, parking in the lot and going towards the staircase. I hesitated for a moment, remembering Mom telling me that she had, many years ago now, told Uncle Ian that he was her brother on that very spot. I smiled to myself, thinking about how far we'd come as a family, and even though Mom hadn't known yet, I was there for the entire conversation. I pushed the thought from my mind as we stepped through the main doors, and stopped for a moment.

"What's wrong?" Yev asked.

"That's where we stood, right there," I said, pointing to the doors far off down the hallway, leading into one of the courtrooms, "when Mom was Pops's lawyer, and she was going to defend him to get the charges dropped."

Yev smiled. "You were nine then, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah." I smiled then as I leaned back, and Yev put an arm around my shoulders. "Her and Pops wanted a moment alone, and so Uncle Ian took me into the courtroom. I just remember sitting there, until they came in. That's before I hated courtrooms…"

"Too much shit has happened to you, Iana," Yev said, and I turned and looked up at him. "I'm sorry I couldn't have been there to help."

I sighed. "I'm sorry, too. But I think we came into each other's lives when we needed the other the most. You didn't have a direction, and I was feeling overwhelmed with new motherhood. All I know is, I wouldn't change it for anything, and I'm glad I've got my brother back."

Yev sighed. "We never know. You said yourself that Judge Whitmore hung up his robes last spring, before my arrest. How do we know the verdict will be in our favor, now that we don't have the judge in our back pockets?"

"You don't," Dad said, and we turned around at the same time as he stepped forward. "Just got word that the judge in your case is Bob Vincent. Between you and me, Yev, he's a hard-ass, but maybe he'll take mitigating circumstances into account."

Yev's brow puckered as he lowered his eyes to mine. "In English?" he asked.

I smirked up at him, and gently swatted his arm. "Essentially, Yev, it means that Dad is hoping that Judge Vincent will think about your lifestyle and upbringing to the point in time that the assault was committed."

"In a nutshell, yes," Dad said, as Yev turned back to look at him. "Basically, we're going to tell Judge Vincent that, based on your mother's rejection of you, you were predisposed to enter a life of crime, because you didn't have any kind of family structure to speak off. In an essence, you were left to fend for yourself, without any form of guidance whatsoever."

Yev raised his eyebrows. "That's actually true," he said, crossing his arms. "Man, I thought lawyers were supposed to make up sob stories about their clients, but one look in my files, and you'll see pretty much everything you just said."

"That's why I'm good at my job, Yev," Dad says, clapping Yev on the shoulder. "Plus, you mean a lot to Iana, and you're family. I think of you like one of my own," he said, and Yev smiled at that notion. "All I know is that we have to go in there and tell the truth. And even though you're going to be arraigned today, it doesn't mean you'll go to jail. You've kept up responsibilities since Iana bailed you out in June, by keeping your job and not breaking any laws. As far as I can tell, son, we're in the clear for your bail to continue."

"Not like your a flight risk," I joked. "Besides, all the countries that don't extradite you back here, you need a passport for."

Yev grinned. "I don't even have a passport."

Dad snapped his fingers. "Okay, so you're officially not a flight risk," he said, and we all looked up as a door opened, and the bailiff stood on the threshold of the courtroom, and nodded to the three of us, and we all stood there, for maybe half a moment, wondering who was going to make the first move.

. . .

I was relieved that Judge Vincent permitted Yev's bail to continue, now that the arraignment was complete, and we said goodbye to Dad so that he could return to the firm. I drove back in the direction of our neighborhood, slapping my palms against the steering wheel to pass the time, with Yev just laughing beside me. I caught him staring at me more than once throughout the drive, to the point where I finally just turned and looked at him.

"What?" I asked.

"So, you've been talking to Axel all summer?"

I nodded, coming to a stop in front of a red light. "That's right," I replied.

Yev mulled that over for a minute. "How's that going?"

I shrugged. "Can't complain."

"Think you're going to get back together?"

"Eh," I replied. "There's something there still, I think, but that could all change once I see him again," I said, my voice quiet as I pulled through the intersection as the light turned green. "I mean, I'm still attracted to him, sure, but…"

"But what?"

I sighed. "I know Liam's an impossibility, okay?" I said, pulling down our street. "Just don't rub it in. That's all I ask."

Yev sighed. "Stop the car."

"What?" I asked, suddenly breaking to a halt in the middle of the street. "Why? Our houses are still four blocks from here…"

"I can walk back, thank you," Yev said, squeezing my shoulder as he unbuckled his seatbelt. "I know the way, and you need to make up your mind."

I blinked, watching as he opened the passenger door. "Make up my mind?"

He nodded, hopping out of the car and flashing me a grin. "Go get your man."

I shook my head. "I don't need a man."

"No, of course you don't," he replied, "but you're allowed to want one. Now, I've got to go and call my man because I'm still free. Go forth and get your man," he went on, getting his phone out of his pocket, "while I get mine."

I flipped him off as he slammed the door behind himself, and I worked double time to find the nearest driveway to turn around in. Once that feat was accomplished, I drove back up the street, somehow managing to make every light on the way to my destination. I swallowed then as I parked outside of it, straightening my shoulders as I got out of the car, and made my way towards the lobby area and the elevator.

Once I'd reached the correct floor, I suddenly realized that I had no idea if he was home, so I just decided to wing it. I walked down the hallway and knocked on the door, wondering if a scantily clad woman would be on the other side of it. However, I felt my breath hitch in my throat as it opened in front of me.

"Hey," Axel said, slightly surprised. "So, you're really back."

I nodded. "Told you via text that I was."

He nodded. "Right… Wanna come in?"

"Sure," I said, walking past him and into his apartment. I hesitated for a moment before I turned around and faced him, just as he shut the door behind me. "Look, I'm just going to spell it out for you, okay?"

He crossed his arms. "Okay."

"I don't know what this is," I said, gesturing between us, "but I still have feelings for you. And if you want to try and make it work, then I'd be open to that, because this summer was complete hell, and I need you in my life, Axel, I really do…"

Axel came forward then and yanked me into his arms, his mouth finding mine quickly, and I felt a small sigh escape my lips as they met. He smiled then, though the kiss, as he slowly pulled back and away from me, cupping my face in his hand. "I'm glad you're back," he said.

I laughed. "Back in Chicago?" I asked.

"Yeah, and no," he said. "Back in my arms."

I scoffed, shoving him away from me. "God, you're so fucking cheesy!"

He grinned. "Just the way you like me."

"You're disgusting," I said, laughter escaping my throat as he dragged me back, so that I was pressed full-length against him. "So disgusting…"

He smiled, putting his forehead against mine. "So, what does this mean?"

I wetted my lips then, considering it. "I think we just make it up as we go along, play by our own rules… Didn't stop us before," I said, shrugging.

He nodded. "I can live with that," he said, leaning down and kissing me again.