Chapter 29 = = Stepping into Irving's Shoes = 27th Bloomingtide – 14th Justinian

Anora and Loghain were in her study. While they had received Howe's report, Howe himself wasn't expected at the palace until the day after tomorrow.

Anora finished reading the report and looked disgusted. "Father, you can't possibly believe this? The idea that Bryce and Eleanor would conspire with Duke Gaspard is beyond ridiculous!"

"I doubt the report as well, but it has to be adjudicated at the Landsmeet. I cannot arrest him until one is called, and we cannot call a Landsmeet during all of this unrest. Besides, Howe clearly has allies and we need to know who they are."

Anora sighed. "Then I guess we will make him the Arl of Denerim, after all."

~oOOo~

On the last day of Bloomingtide, during her regular meeting with the First Enchanter and the Knight-Commander, Irving announced, "I have business at the Jainen circle. I plan to leave on the fourth of Justinian and will return on the 20th. Emmalynn, am I correct that Hannah will be going through her harrowing?"

Emmalynn nodded. "Shall we wait until your return?"

"No, no. If you feel she's ready, you can be there in my stead. Time passes much too fast at my age. Hannah has been here for six years, but it seems like yesterday."

"Irving, is there a problem at the Jainen Circle? Is Connor okay?"

"There is no problem in Jainen, and young Connor is doing well. There are just some longstanding issues that I need to go over with my counterpart."

Emmalynn knew Irving was being deliberately vague, but as Greagoir seemed unsurprised by the announcement, then Irving must have already told him about the trip. Ah! She realized. Irving is going to Jainen because he and Greagoir want to see how well I can perform some of the basic duties of the First Enchanter. She smiled at Irving knowingly. "Then I'm guessing I'll sit in your stead for the monthly progress meeting with the enchanters, the weekly meetings with the senior enchanters, and the orientation of the new Templars?"

Irving's eyes twinkled. "You guessed correctly, and I have every confidence in your ability to conduct matters while I'm away."

Emmalynn looked at Greagoir. "Knight-Commander, are you comfortable with my ability to stand in for Irving?"

"You have my every confidence, as well"

Such unqualified praise from the Knight-Commander was unusual, but she wasn't going to question it.

~oOOo~

Emmalynn watched as Hannah entered the Harrowing Chamber, happy to see that the Apprentice looked more determined than afraid.

When Emmalynn took over advising the apprentices, she wanted to change the approach to the Harrowing. She did not want apprentices suddenly whisked away in the middle of the night, terrified, while everyone else in the apprentice dorms became sick with worry. Emmalynn remembered when she brought her concerns and proposal to the weekly meeting with the Senior Enchanters…

Wynne defended the current practice. "Being unexpectedly sent into the Fade is a realistic test, Emmalynn. Demons do not give you time to prepare." She said the last with more than a bit of condescension.

"True. Demons are always just a single night's sleep away."

Wynne smiled a bit smugly and nodded.

"It's a wonder that we don't keep Apprentices from dreaming."

"Don't be facetious, Emmalynn. You know that templars keep an eye on them at night."

"Yes, they do. Just as they do in the Harrowing chamber."

She had gotten everyone's attention.

"The fact is, apprentices have been resisting demons every night since they came into their magic. So being suddenly plucked from the bed and brought to the harrowing chamber is unnecessary. An apprentice needs to have confidence in their magic. They need to understand how clever demons can be and appreciate those dangers. Apprentices need to replace pointless fretting with focused self-reflection. Apprentices need to learn about who they are and the weaknesses a demon could try to exploit– that is the key to resisting possession."

Wynne could not counter Emmalynn's reasoning, and in the end, the senior enchanters voted to recommend Emmalynn's proposal to the First Enchanter and the Knight Commander who both provisionally approved it.

No one argued with the results – There had been 14 apprentices who had since been harrowed. None asked to be tranquil or were made tranquil, and all passed their Harrowing, which was a record. Over the longer term, the newly harrowed mages were more stable and confident.

….

Wynne never did apologize for her tone. But, if she had, she wouldn't be Wynne. Emmalynn smiled affectionately at the memory of her mentor.

Under the new procedure, once Emmalynn was confident that an apprentice would succeed she would tell Irving and Greagoir and they would calendar the Harrowing. Emmalynn would tell the Apprentice that their harrowing was drawing near – one concession to the Senior Enchanters was that they were not told the exact date their harrowing would be, just that it was coming up within a fortnight.

Such had been the case for Hannah. As was now custom, Emmalynn made the announcement after dinner, "Tonight, Hannah is going to become a harrowed mage. I won't be the one bringing her back to the dorm to rest as I'm standing in for the First Enchanter, but Ser Carolyn will bring her back to the dormitory, and I will see you in the morning for our celebratory breakfast."

That night Hannah was sent into Fade. While Emmalynn's Harrowing lasted three candle marks and Anders lasted four, she knew they were the exceptions. A harrowing could be as long as half a candle. At the quarter candle mark Hannah opened her eyes, and Emmalynn saw a spirit of compassion hover over the newly harrowed mage.

Helping a smiling but tired young mage to her feet she embraced her. "Congratulations, Hannah. Welcome to the Circle of Magi."

Hannah returned the hug and looked at Emmalynn. "Am I really a spirit healer now?"

Emmalynn nodded. "A spirit of compassion found you. We can talk more about it tomorrow. Right now, Ser Carolyn will escort you back to the apprentice dorm and let your fellow apprentices know. Get some rest. I'll see you at the celebratory breakfast!"

After Hannah left, Greagoir arched an eyebrow. "Did you see the spirit?"

Emmalynn nodded. "Yes, it hovered over Hannah just as she woke up."

"Well, we can always use more spirit healers."

~oOOo~

After a month in the Deep Roads, they would soon be back in the city of Orzammar.

As they traveled through what often felt like the void, Alistair was able to see what a warden's life would be like. It certainly would give me other things to focus on, but that would just be a way to escape from the pain. Can Emma escape? No. She has to go on with her life and learn to cope; that is far braver to do than joining that an order that would result in a short life. No, the honorable thing to do is remain Knight of Rainesfere and father's heir.

"Why did I insist on continuing the relationship when Emma tried to break it off that first time? I am the one who left Emma vulnerable to Eamon's scheming." Alistair mumbled to himself.

"Alistair?"

"Oh! Surana." Alistair started. "Sorry, I was just woolgathering."

Surana looked tired. "Mind if I sit with you?"

"Not at all. Pull up a rock. How are you feeling?"

Surana shrugged. "Not great, but better now that we're leaving this cursed place."

Alistair gave a short grunt of agreement.

"I've been thinking about M, and how she would have hated the Deep Roads. Honestly, as much as I miss her, I'm glad she wasn't here."

Alistair, who spent most of their time trying to avoid thinking about Emma, was a bit horrified that, until now, it had not occurred to him to think about how she would have reacted to the Deep Roads. "She would have been beside herself about Ruck and Hespith…then there's Laryn."

"I don't want to even imagine how M would have reacted to learning about how Golems were made. Man, I feel sorry for Oghren, though. Branka was bat-shit crazy. I think M would have been sorely tempted to show us how accurate she is with a throwing dagger."

Alistair nodded. "Surana, do you think that I should have listened to Emma when she first said we should break it off? She said she was 'on loan from the Circle.' I keep thinking that if I hadn't insisted, she wouldn't have been vulnerable to Eamon's scheming."

"Alistair, do not for a single minute think that you shouldn't have pursued M."

The vehemence in Surana's tone surprised Alistair. "Why? What do you mean?"

Surana brushed dirt from his robes. "Damn dirt gets into everything." He muttered, then looked at Alistair. "M never really thought of her worth beyond being a healer. When you were together, she saw herself through your eyes. I could tell that she finally realized that she had worth apart from her magic."

"Really?"

"Really."

"How do you deal with it?"

Surana sighed. "I focus on what I need to do and hope that things will change. You saw the Archdemon; it must be defeated and if we fail nothing else will matter."

Alistair nodded. "True. That does put life into perspective, for now at least."

"Come on," Surana said. "Let's go crown Bhelen."

~oOOo~

They arrived at Rainesfere nine days after leaving Orzammar. As soon as Alistair had dismounted, Teagan pulled him into a bear hug.

When Alistair pulled back, he saw the bruises under his father's eyes and a few new grey hairs in his beard that hadn't been there before. "Dad, I'm sorry to have worried you, but there was no way to get a message once we were in the Deep Roads."

"It doesn't matter. You're safe and healthy. Hopefully, things will go better with the Dalish."

"Maker, I hope so. Aedan is tired of cleaning up everyone's messes."

~oOOo~

Howe, who been the Arl of Denerim for two weeks, was relaxing in his new study. Swirling brandy in a glass, he watched the fire reflect off the amber-colored liquid. I have to admit I was surprised at Urien's extensive dungeons; I hope his son enjoys his stay there. Alfstanna's templar brother arrived yesterday from Amaranthine. I was going to kill him, but I have to admit his lyrium withdrawal is too much fun to watch. Soon I will work to shore up Loghain's support.

AN: Just a quick update. Emma and Alistair are on separate paths for now, but not for much longer. Thanks to all who are reading and reviewing! Happy Christmas!