Chapter Two: Poker Face

I took Yev with me in the car to drop off Hailey at her first day of her daycare program, and she was excited to get to know more children her own age. As I drove with Yev to the diner, I felt a little more at ease that I'd done the day before. Now that I was getting acquainted with Chicago time, I would do my best to do right by my daughter, and would continue to do so, now that I had a firmer plan in place.

"Talk to your mom yet?"

I sighed, pulling to a stop in front of a traffic light a few blocks from Patsy's. "Yeah, I guess," I replied, checking myself in the mirror, and grimacing slightly that the scar from my almost car accident, the one on my left cheek, was still there, and likely would remain there. "Just think that she'll give it back to me…"

"Your job?"

I nodded, nibbling slightly on my lower lip. "Yeah."

Yev grinned. "You haven't discussed it with her, have you?"

I grumbled under my breath, both hating and loving that Yev knew me so well. "Maybe we haven't touched on that subject, no…" I muttered, pulling through the intersection.

"Ah-ha!" Yev said, clapping his hands. "So, what were you up to yesterday, after I decided to call up Desmond?"

I shrugged. "Nothing."

"Well, clearly Murphy was getting in some bonding time with Hailey, which left you to do the devil's tango with Axel for hours on end…"

"Would you shut the fuck up?!" I cried out, pulling into the parking lot at Patsy's and putting myself into my old space. "Nothing happened. Axel and I are keeping our distance…"

Yev cocked an eyebrow. "Meaning?"

"Meaning that our relationship is strictly PG-13 for the time being," I said, switching off my car and moving to get out.

"So… No hand stuff then?"

"Jesus Christ, Yev!" I said, tossing my apron at him, which he caught expertly, laughing as he tossed it back to me. "You're disgusting!"

"I'm a Milkovich," Yev replied, opening the employee door of the diner, "just like you. Just because your panties are in a twist doesn't mean mine have to be."

"Hey, Franny," I said, stepping inside the employee locker room area and tying my apron in place, before piling my hair on top of my head in a presentable ponytail. "How's Mom this morning?"

Franny smirked at me, crossing her arms. "She knows you're coming in, don't worry," she said, leaning back up against her locker. "She know about your tattoos yet?"

"Which one?" I asked, shrugging my shoulders.

"Well, I remember her blowing a gasket about the sleeve," Franny said.

"Not to mention the fact that she was annoyed that you told me first about the heart on your left rib cage," Yev put in.

"Yeah, I was annoyed, too," Franny muttered.

"She knows about those," I said softly.

Yev raised his eyebrows. "Oh, really?"

"So, she doesn't know about the heart-shaped lock and the key on your upper legs?" Franny demanded of me then, looking from me to the direction of Mom's office and back again. "That is four tattoos, Iana, and you're not even twenty-one yet!"

"Hey, no judging my sister," Yev said.

Franny sighed and turned back to Yev. "Clark keeps telling me he had nothing to do with your arrest at the wedding," she said, obviously torn between Yev and her husband. "Can you please stop trying to bring it into any given situation? And we're at work of all places, Yev! We have got to be professional here!"

"Me bring it up? You're the one who…"

"Enough," I said, moving to stand in between them before it got too heated. "That's enough from both of you. I know this situation is fucking hard, but we're fucking family. Families can't go on like this. Yev, I know you're angry and you've got every right to be, but the problem is, we have no definitive proof that Clark gave them the tip off."

Yev crossed his arms. "Yeah, other than the fact that he's a cop, who obviously didn't trust me from the time I walked into all your lives…"

"Hey, now wait a minute…"

"Franny, no," I said, turning to face my cousin. "I know that you love your husband, and nobody is asking you not to here. I know it's a touchy subject; fuck, it would be for anyone. But let's not try to lose our heads here."

Franny lowered her eyes. "Clark accused me of fucking Yev," she said quietly, and I whipped my head around to Yev, who looked decidedly horrified. "He thinks that's why I wouldn't just believe him when he said he didn't have him arrested…"

"He knows about Desmond, right?" Yev asks. "I mean, he was my fucking date to your fucking wedding… What else does he take me for? He's seen me make out with him plenty of times. I mean, what does he want me to do? Fuck Desmond in front of him?"

"Okay, this isn't work appropriate," Mom says, breezing into the room. "Hi, sweetheart," she says briefly to me before looking from Franny to Yev. "Look, you two, I know shit's been fucking hard over this last summer. It has been for all of us. But I suggest the two of you leave it outside Patsy's, and focus on work. Then, after your shifts, if you want to kill each other, be my guest, but make it look like an accident. All right?"

Franny sighs. "Got it."

Yev nods. "Loud and clear, boss."

"Great," Mom says, looking back at me. "Let's go and talk for a minute, okay?"

I nodded. "Sure," I said, giving both Franny and Yev looks as I walked by, walking after Mom and back into her office. "I was trying to referee them…"

"Gallagher's and Milkovich's are impossible together," Mom says, shutting the office door behind me and smiling. "Luckily you got both genes. You're the only one that can really speak both their languages."

I laughed. "Don't know about that, but thank you."

She nodded. "So, I see your hair is in place and your apron is on. I take it that means you'd like to come back to work?"

I sighed. "Yeah," I replied. "Tips are amazing, to be honest, and I need something to buy everything Hailey needs. And I don't expect you to just rehire me at my old position. I'm sure someone else has come in who…"

"We still haven't found the right person yet," Mom said gently, and I raised my eyebrows. "The assistant manager position is still yours, honey."

I sighed, filled with relief. "Thanks," I replied.

She nodded. "You're welcome. Now, get your ass out there and start taking orders," she tells me, a grin on her face.

I salute her. "You got it, boss," I said, and walked out of her office with more of a spring to my step than I'd had in a long time.

. . .

Despite the notion that I could easily run into Penny, Liam, Lacey, or anyone else associated with the Kennedy family or Nell's Rags, I knew that cutting Hailey off from Uncle Lip, Aunt Mandy, and Baby Ronan wouldn't be a good course of action. The next time we all had days off, I drove over to the apartment building and rode up o the correct floor, relieved that I didn't run into anyone from my past. I knocked on the door and Uncle Lip promptly let the two of us inside, giving us a big hug before gesturing that we were free to walk into the living room where Aunt Mandy was sitting on the couch with Ronan.

"Hey," I said, sitting beside them and moving Hailey so that she could sit on the couch and inspect Ronan to her liking. "How's everything going?"

Aunt Mandy grinned. "Well, we're actually sleeping."

"Yeah?" I asked, turning to Uncle Lip, who stepped into the living room and sat down on the arm of the couch behind Aunt Mandy.

"Oh, yeah," Uncle Lip said, leaning down and kissing Aunt Mandy on the cheek. "Hopefully we've still got it in us to give Ronan a sister."

"Hey!" Aunt Mandy said, playfully swatting him on the arm. "Not in front of Hailey!"

"Ronan sister!" Hailey chanted, clapping her hands.

Aunt Mandy glared at Uncle Lip. "Now you've done it," she said.

"Well, you look great," I told her, smiling when she handed over Ronan to me without hesitation, who stared up at me with those dark eyes of his. "Hello, my sweet little man," I said, pressing a kiss on his forehead. "Are you happy that Cousin Iana brought Hailey to see you? Yeah, I'm sure you are!" I gushed.

"Why do women turn into puddles whenever there's a baby around?" Uncle Lip asked, visibly smirking in amusement as Hailey crawled into Aunt Mandy's lap. "I just don't get it…"

"Oh, really?" Aunt Mandy said, scooping up Hailey and turning around, whereupon she positioned her right in front of Uncle Lip's face. "Say hi to your niece, Lip!"

Uncle Lip, who had crossed his arms, quickly turned to jelly as soon as Hailey reached out her arms to him, and promptly took up Hailey into them. "Hi there," he said, obviously trying to keep it cool around her.

"Lip, Lip, Lip!" Hailey cried out, clapping her hands. "Hailey loves Lip!"

Uncle Lip smiled down at Hailey, only to feel our eyes on him, whereupon he looked up, and quickly spotted the lovey-dovey looks that Aunt Mandy and I were giving him. "You can both fuck yourselves," he said quickly, but thankfully, Hailey was plenty distracted.

Aunt Mandy rolled her eyes, turning back to me. "Wanna feed him?"

"Yeah, absolutely," I replied.

Aunt Mandy grinned, getting to her feet. "I'll go warm up his bottle. Mind holding him while I go and do that?"

I shook my head. "No, of course not."

After Aunt Mandy stepped into the kitchen, Uncle Lip turned and looked down at me, still keeping a good grip on Hailey. "How's Yev holding up?"

I sighed. "He says he's fine," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "Part of me is glad that Mom let us have matching schedules while the trial is going on, but…"

Uncle Lip surveyed my expression. "But?"

I shrugged, bringing a slightly squirming Ronan close to me so that I could kiss his forehead again, and he immediately soothed in my arms. "I just feel like he's keeping his emotions in check, like we all have to do," I said quietly.

"Was it really your idea?"

I raised my eyes to his. "What?"

"When Terry got that beat-down, which was plenty deserved, because I know that it was done for Mandy, too," Uncle Lip said quickly. "But… Did you tell Yev to run, or did he just beg you to take the blame…?"

I gritted my teeth, doing my best to hold my temper with him. "I know what it looks like, him having a felony record, and me just having that insanity defense on my record," I said. "But it was really me, Uncle Lip. It was a snap decision, all of it, but I really told Yev to run, because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. I knew that since I was still seventeen, and since my dad is who he is, and I had being bipolar on my side…" I sighed, leaning back up against the couch and shaking my head. "Guess it just seemed like the right thing to do. I've had a lot of shit happen to me, which you know, and so I guess you could say I didn't want some other member of my family taken away from me…"

"Nobody's going anywhere, Iana."

I shook my head at him. "You don't know that."

"I know that Nicholas will fight tooth and nail to keep Yev from going to prison. He loves your brother, too, Iana, and he's family. They're all family. Fuck, he's my nephew, Iana, screw the 'by marriage' part of it. He's my fucking nephew. He'll need all of us right now, but he'll especially need you, because the two of you, and Mickey, too, you're all something special together. You just understand the two of them better than anyone."

"Except Ian," Aunt Mandy said quietly, stepping back into the living room and handing over the warmed bottle, and a towel, which I placed in Ronan's mouth and over my shoulder respectively as she returned to the couch. Aunt Mandy put an arm around my shoulders, watching me as I fed her son. "You're special, too, Iana. You're family. Don't forget that."

I nodded, turning and looking up at her with a smile. "I won't," I replied.

. . .

It was such a pleasant visit with Uncle Lip and Aunt Mandy, so much so that I didn't want any of it to end. However, after we'd eaten dinner there, I thought we'd more than overstayed our welcome, as Hailey was clearly tired after the eventful afternoon. I wrapped her up in the pink blanket that I'd brought with us, and waved goodbye to my aunt and uncle as we stepped out into the hallway, my daughter's head resting on my shoulder. As I walked over to the elevator and pressed the button, I took a moment to look down at her, and felt myself warm automatically when I saw how her dark lashes swept her pale cheeks. I pressed a kiss to her forehead as the doors dinged open, and I stepped inside, pressing the ground floor button to take us both back to my car, and towards home.

Once the doors opened and I was free to move out of there, I stepped into the lobby of the building and very nearly stopped dead in my tracks. My mouth went dry then as I spotted Liam walking towards me, and his expression was one of shock as well. I swallowed then, not knowing what to do or what to say, but that was again decided for me, all by Liam, who always seemed to think that he knew best.

"Iana," he said then, as he stepped closer to me, his silvery eyes taking me in fully. In the three months since everything had happened, he looked no different, but I knew just how different I truly was. "How are you?"

"Fine," I replied, my tone clipped. I was different, completely; inexplicably, I'd grown two inches taller over the summer, putting me at five-feet-seven inches, and, since I'd stopped breastfeeding, my breasts had gone up an entire cup size. My hair was longer, and my hips had changed ever since Hailey's birth. I wasn't just different on the outside; no, on the inside, my wall had returned, and everything was different.

"How was your summer?" he asked.

I swallowed, doing my best to keep my responses to a minimum. "Eventful," I said, knowing that he'd be annoyed if I used the same word time after time.

"Heard you were in California," he said.

I shrugged. "How'd you know that?"

"Yev told me, before he called me a 'fucking asshole' and to leave you alone," he said, and I did my best to hold my smirk at bay, pleased that he'd gone to bat for me. "I'm sorry about his arrest at Clark and Franny's wedding. He doesn't deserve that."

I blinked. "What do you know about what my brother deserves?"

"I know that, even though he may have committed the crime they're accusing him of, doesn't mean he has to be locked up for twenty years because of it. I know how close the two of you are, Iana, I'm not blind. You'd both do anything for family, and it's good that he's got all of you in his corner to help out."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, well, we do that in my family, help each other out. Another thing we do is listen to one another, and listening means you don't have one-sided conversations. One-sided conversations mean that the other person automatically holds all the cards. That's not how I want to live my life, Liam," I said, and moved to walk away from him.

"You're right," he said, and I shut my eyes, his words effectively rendering me to stop walking, but I made no move to turn back around to face him. "That day… Everything was all over the place, Iana. You've got to believe that. One minute you're trying to make shit work with Axel, and the next minute, you're throwing yourself at me. What was I supposed to think?"

I scoffed, turning around then and facing him. "You're not supposed to think you can pin the entire situation on me," I shot back, doing my best to keep my voice down, lest Hailey wake up and see who I was talking to.

Liam sighed. "You're right, I'm sorry…"

"Sorry for what?" I demanded, staring up at him. "Sorry for running into me here tonight? Sorry for blaming every little thing between us on me? Or sorry for ruining everything between us forever, because I can never trust myself around you again because of what you said to me that day that I walked out of your life?!" I cried out.

Liam's mouth fell open then to defend himself. "All of it," he said quietly then. "All of it, Iana, but there are things in life, in my life, that you can't even begin to understand…"

"I think you made it very, very clear," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "You just don't do relationships, and it was very stupid of me to try and change that. I'm sorry," I said, my tone bitter, so that he knew just how not sorry I was.

He shook his head. "Iana, you don't…"

"Liam," said a lyrical voice from behind me then, and I turned, just in time to see a woman about an inch and a half taller than me, with breasts that were double my size, curves to die for, and legs that never ended come forward. She wore a casual gold wrap dress with matching heels, which clicked on the highly-polished tile floor as smiled with delight at Liam, her chocolate brown eyes quite a shock to her rosy skin and her flowing blonde hair, her lips a perfect pout as she moved to stand beside Liam, circling her arm around his waist before turning to me, her smile meeting her eyes when she saw me. "Oh, hello!" she said, her accent thick, and I knew straight away that it was Italian. "I'm Illiana," she said, putting out a perfectly manicured hand and a genuine air of politeness. "Illiana Valeria Spencer. I haven't met many of Liam's friends yet. Pleased to meet you."

I knew that reaching out automatically and taking her hand would have been expected of me, had I still worked at Nell's Rags but it was clear that I no longer owed the Kennedy family a thing, so I ignored her hand and attempted to also ignore her beauty, which was like an unexpected punch to the face. "Iana Milkovich," I replied, my tone thick and heavy, due to the fact that I was caught unawares.

"Oh, is this your daughter?" Illiana gushed, stepping closer, but not touching, me or Hailey, but did her best to peer around the blanket at my daughter. "She's beautiful! You must be so proud to have such a lovely daughter like that!"

I smiled tightly. "I'm much more concerned about her happiness, as well as her intelligence, Illiana, for those attributes will take her further than just beauty."

Illiana nodded. "Oh, yes, of course," she said quickly. "I didn't mean to offend you, Iana. I've heard much about you from Penny."

I nodded. "I'm sure you have."

"Liam said you were one of her closest friends, and were COO of Nell's Rags for a few months, and even visited my native Italy on one occasion," she went on.

I gritted my teeth, knowing that Illiana gave me no just cause not to be polite towards her. "I did visit Italy, yeah," I said. "It was beautiful."

"Which is probably why Liam visited there over the summer," she went on. "My father and Liam are business associates, so when I had to oversee one of my father's meetings on his behalf, Liam was very pleased to meet me."

I did my best not to sway on my feet then as Illiana tucked a stray blonde hair behind her ear with her left hand, a giant, pink diamond glowing on her ring finger. "Um… That's a lovely ring you've got there, Illiana," I said, and Liam shut his eyes on a wave of what I thought just had to be discomfort.

"This?" Illiana asked, flashing her perfectly white teeth as she gazed at the ring for a moment. "It was quite a shock when Liam presented it to me a week ago, before he left Italy. He said he couldn't stand not to bring me back to America with him, and so of course I said I would go, once he asked me to be his wife."

I found I was struggling not to vomit then, due to the fact that I was holding onto Hailey, and would likely wake her with my retching. "Congratulations," I managed to get out. "When will the big day be?"

"June, in New York, at The Plaza," she replied, and I did my best not to roll my eyes at the notion that her father and the Kennedy family likely had connections to pull off such a quick date for their wedding.

I nodded, my eyes sliding over to Liam. "Glad you've found happiness, Liam Kennedy," I said then, doing my best to keep right on smiling. "Have a nice life."

I turned on my heel then, walking out of the apartment building and directly towards my car at a fast pace, unknowing if Liam would disengage himself from Illiana in an effort to speak to me. I strapped Hailey into her car seat, my tears blinding me slightly then as I felt my entire body shaking as I got myself into the car. I drove directly home then, my muffled sobs thankfully not waking up Hailey then as I drove back across town. Instead of going inside the house and throwing myself onto my bed and crying, I held it together long enough to grab Hailey and walk across the street, merely stepping inside the house and spotting Yev and Desmond.

"Where's Pops? I need him," I said, my voice a monotone as I handed over Hailey to Yev without much explanation.

"Kitchen," Yev replied, pointing.

"Right," I said, walking through to the kitchen, spotting that the back door was open, and walked outside to see Pops with a cigarette. I stepped towards him then, and he swiveled his head to look at me, before I reached out and took the cigarette from him and puffed on it myself.

"Jesus. What happened to you, kid?"

I sighed, taking the cigarette out of my mouth. "Everything."

"Yeah?" he asked. "Wanna talk about it?"

I bit my lip then, knowing that, no matter how much I loved Pops, and no matter how much he loved me, I knew there was only one person that could truly understand my pain. "I do, but I think I need Uncle Ian for this one…"

Pops nodded. "He's upstairs."

I smiled, handing back the cigarette and kissing him on the cheek. "Thanks," I said, stepping back inside and heading for the stairs. As I walked up, I sighed, knowing that Uncle Ian was the best person to talk to about this. "Uncle Ian?" I called, getting to the top of the stairs and felt relieved when he stepped out of the master bedroom, already changed back into his street clothes after getting off work.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said, stepping forward. "Everything okay?"

I shook my head, the tears threatening to bubble up again. "No."

He nodded. "Okay," he said, walking up to me and placing his hands on my shoulders. "Tell me what's bothering you."

I gritted my teeth then, spotting the baseball bat just a few feet away, and turned back to look up at him. "Can I slam that into the wall a few times?"

Uncle Ian nodded. "Go ahead."

I sighed, crossing over to it and making a grab for it, a guttural scream cutting through my lips then as I swung it over and over into the wall, splintering the wood beneath what was left of the crummy wallpaper. I dropped the bat after a solid two minutes, my entire body shaking with a combination of devastation and rage. "Fuck," I whispered.

"Ready to talk?"

I turned and looked at him over my shoulder again, sighing as tears escaped my eyes and flowed down my face, no longer making an effort to stop them. "Liam's getting married," I said then, and Uncle Ian looked shocked. "She's a millionaire's daughter from Italy and she's beautiful and perfect and doesn't come with a kid…" I bit my lip then, leaning up against the wall that I'd successfully managed to damage so that it resembled my soul. "Fuck… I am tired of feeling this way… Life was so much better when I could just shut off…"

"No, it wasn't," Uncle Ian said, his tone gentle as I looked up at him. "No, it wasn't. And do you know why? Because you miss out on a lot of shit that way, Iana."

I shook my head. "But I didn't get hurt."

"Getting hurt's part of the process."

Pops came up the stairs then, and took a good look at the wall. "Jesus Christ. What happened up here?" he asked, surveying the damage and spotting the bat was very close to one of my hands before he looked up at Uncle Ian. "She okay?"

Uncle Ian sighed. "She's having a moment," he replied.

Pops eyes snapped to mine before he turned back to Uncle Ian. "Somebody wanna tell me what's going on here?" he asked. "Is my husband going to tell me, or is my daughter?"

I bit my lip then, lowering my eyes. "Liam's engaged," I said quietly.

"Are you fucking kidding me right now?" Pops demanded.

"Mick," Uncle Ian said, his tone firm.

"Why would she go to you with this, Ian? She's my kid!" he shouted, and I placed my head into my hands at that.

"I never said she wasn't your kid, Mick!" Uncle Ian said, growing annoyed. "Iana clearly felt that I was more equipped to handle this!"

"Why? She's my daughter, Ian! She tells me everything—!"

"It's because Uncle Ian is better equipped to understand this shit, Pops!" I screamed then, turning to look over at him, and he looked shocked at my fiery attitude. "He was absolutely destroyed when you married Svetlana, but I hope to Christ you know that already. Uncle Ian knows what it's like to have someone close to you potentially being happy with someone else. I don't understand this feeling as much as the next guy, but having the person you care about just being torn away from you forever… It's so fucked," I whispered. "So fucked that I'm officially at the point where I can't see straight."

Pops fixed his eyes on me then. "Can you literally not see, or…?"

I bit my lip then, knowing that I had to say something about it. "It comes in waves," I admitted then, feeling terrible that I hadn't addressed the problem. "But I've been getting these headaches and I just can't… My vision is going or something," I said with a shrug.

"Wait, what do you mean?" Uncle Ian asked.

I sighed, my shoulders deflating then. "I mean that, I think, without an optometrist in my future, I could stand to go blind, worst case scenario," I reply, and turn from Pops to Uncle Ian, and found that, for once, I was unaware of what I was supposed to do.