Chapter Eleven: Like It Was Always Meant To Be

I stood before my desk in my office at Penny's work suite, my eyes scanning the various documents of upcoming deals on of Nell's Rags, and my eyes swam from exhaustion. All I could think about was seeing Liam and Illiana in that restaurant, his subsequent conversation with me on my birthday, and Axel taking me away from him. All this had happened inside of a month, and although I knew that the bridge would bend before it broke, I knew that anything could hit the fan as the days went by.

"Good afternoon, lovely," Penny said, her voice breezy as she stepped into my office, offering me hot chocolate in a to-go cup from a local coffee shop. "Have you confirmed the reservations for the summer benefit dinner yet?"

I cleared my throat then, and nodded my head. "Well, yeah, of course," I said, setting down the document I'd been looking at. "Considering that it's being held this Sunday," I went on, forcing a smile to my lips as I sipped my hot drink. "Six more days… You wanted it set for seven people in the private room, right?"

"We're down to six," Penny replied, whipping out her phone as it buzzed, clicking her tongue as she fired off a text message. "Apparently, Illiana's flying back to Italy for some last-minute thing to do with the wedding over the weekend and can't make it."

I nodded, making a mental note to call the restaurant to confirm the change. "Pity she'll miss it. I know it's really only for the intimate side of things when it comes to the company, but she'll know some of the secrets about it by the end of the month, once she marries Liam," I went on, and kept my tone neutral.

Penny blinked, searching my face. "How're you doing with that?"

I shrugged, turning back to my desk. I set my drink down and picked up my phone, pretending to check my texts, email, and then my calendar in order to avoid answering the question. "Fine. I'll be fine. I am fine," I said, stumbling over the words, and I knew that, since I didn't believe itself, my tone of voice reflected that, and Penny sighed.

"Iana, really," she said, her tone filled with disapproval that I couldn't bring myself to at least attempt to be honest with her. "This is me we're talking about. Why won't you just admit that you don't want this wedding to happen even more than my mother?"

I snapped to attention at the revelation then, turning to face Penny. "Hold up. Rose doesn't want the wedding to happen?"

Penny shook her head. "No, she doesn't."

"Jesus," I whispered, my brows knitting together. "God, I thought she was just being overprotective and disapproving by staying away… But the notion that she actually doesn't want her own son getting married…"

"It's not the 'getting married' part, so much as who he's marrying," Penny said, sipping her expensive coffee.

I shook my head. "I don't follow."

Penny pursed her lips. "She doesn't want Liam to marry Illiana."

My jaw dropped then. "Wait. I thought that Illiana and Liam went to go and see her over the Christmas holidays in Switzerland at your chalet…"

Penny nodded. "Yeah, they went."

"Well? Did she hate her or something?"

Penny smirked at that. "It's damn near impossible to hate Illiana. Hell, even I don't hate her, and I'm very critical of anyone who's joining my family," she said with a little shrug of her shoulders at that. "But Mom doesn't think that Liam and Illiana are suited."

I laughed. "Well, certainly it was a rather quick coupling, but who are we to judge? They honestly seem… They seem comfortable."

"Exactly. Comfortable. Mildly happy also comes to mine," Penny said, sniffing slightly. "But there's no passion…"

I shrugged. "Liam said it was almost like a business agreement anyway, one of the few times we lost control this past year. And no, I don't mean fucking," I said, rolling my eyes at the fact that Penny would even consider going there. "We haven't fucked since last June."

"When you quit?" Penny asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. When I quit."

"But a business agreement," Penny said softly, her brows coming together. "Those aren't two words you want associated with a future marriage."

"They're his words, not mine," I said, my stomach dropping when I heard the main door open, and the familiar sound of high-class men's shoes on the wood floor. "Well," I said, forcing the words to come out of my mouth as Liam stood in the doorway a moment later, "I'll get right on that phone call to the restaurant regarding Sunday, Penny."

Penny nodded, knowing I'd want to get the hell outta dodge so as to avoid any unnecessary contact with Liam. "Of course. I'm sure Hailey's expecting you shortly anyhow."

"Promised I'd pick her up early today," I said, quickly gathering my things into my bag before I grabbed my hot drink and attempted to move past Liam. "Hey," I said, and quickly moved into the living room.

"Iana," he said, and quickly moved after me, and I was vaguely aware of Penny attempting to call him back, but to no avail. "Iana, can we please just…"

"Talk?" I asked, the word coming out far more harshly than I intended. "No. We have no reason to talk, Liam," I said, opening the door of the apartment. "I'll see you on Sunday at the dinner, as per the agreement, you're not supposed to be here while I'm working."

"I understand that, but Iana…"

"Stop," I said, the word coming out like a breath then as my eyes locked with his. "Just stop. I can't do this. I won't do this. I need to go," I said, my tone nearly begging.

Liam sighed, defeated. "Fine," he said at last, and it was then that I realized he'd been gripping the front door, but, at last, he turned it loose. "See you Sunday."

"Yeah, see you then," I replied, closing the door behind me.

. . .

I held Hailey in my arms as I walked up the steps to Pops and Uncle Ian's place, unlocking the front door and setting her down once we got inside. She ran into the kitchen as I shut and locked the door behind me, and let out a happy squeal as Pops lifted her up into his arms, tossing her effortlessly into the air and grinning at her. I smiled broadly at the exchange as I trooped through the living room, and stood in the doorway.

"Hey, there, Pops," I said.

"Hey, kiddo," Pops replied, stepping forward and kissing me on the cheek. "How was work today? You give 'em hell?"

"Always," I replied, moving to the kitchen table and sitting down, letting out a satisfied groan at the lovely feeling of getting the pressure off my legs and feet. "Where's Uncle Ian and Yev? Are they at work or something?"

"Yev's out with Des until curfew, and Ian's working a double," Pops explained, smirking ever so slightly as Hailey proceeded to place her hands on his cheeks. "Hello, little minx," he said as he turned to look over at her. "How was your day?"

"Fine!" she cried out.

"That's good to hear," Pops said, before turning to look back at me. "Listen, Iana, I should let you know that…"

"They're here?" came a voice from the stairs and, turning, I felt my entire being fill with shock when I saw my mother standing there. "Baby," she said, and came towards me.

My head snapped to Pops, who still held onto Hailey, who looked shocked at seeing her grandmother after so long. "Pops, take Hailey out of the room," I said, my voice firm, and he nodded, walking her into the living room and up that set of stairs. I turned and looked at my mother again, and crossed my arms. "What the hell are you doing here?"

She sighed. "Honey, I know this looks bad…"

"Looks bad?!" I demanded, throwing up my hands. "Really? That's all you've got?! Mom, you fucking relapsed after more than a decade of being sober. Hailey was with you. You promised you would keep her safe if you ever watched her. I trusted you," I said, my voice very close to its breaking point then. "Then you get fucking drunk. Why would you want to break my trust like that, Mom? After all the bullshit you put me through…"

"Baby, I know I fucked up, and I am so sorry," she said softly.

"Sorry," I whispered, shaking my head. "No, Mom. Sorry's not gonna cut it this time. You put me in danger as a child countless times, and I was there to pick up the pieces for Clayton and Fionn. It took me years before I had the courage to trust you again, and when I finally did, you promised me, you promised me, that things would be different. I guess this is what I get for trusting an addict," I said, shaking my head, and moved to walk away. "I get fucked in the ass for letting my guard down, but this stops now."

"Honey, don't walk away, please," my mom said, and moved after me, taking ahold of me by my arm and, without hesitation, yanked it back. However, she made the choice to grab at me again, and I immediately smacked her across the face.

"Something you need to learn by now, Mom," I said, my voice thick then, as I stared at her, both our eyes filled with tears, as I gripped my hand, and she her cheek, in pain. "One thing we have in common is that we're both survivors of rape." I smiled bitterly then. "You should know better than anyone that grabbing a survivor can result in you getting whacked." I shook my head then as I stared at her, knowing that I was through with backing down completely, and if this resulted in me and my mom being forever estranged, so be it. "That's for letting my sick child cry and cry in her crib, while you got fucking plastered in the kitchen," I say, and she merely stares at me. "I meant what I said. You are not to come near either of us; I may not have had a mother there to protect me all me life, but I'll be damned if I don't protect my own daughter. I want you to get the fuck out of here, right now."

"Iana…"

"No!" I shouted then, and took ahold of her shoulders without hesitation, and carted her off to the front door. "I am not ready to forgive you. Not again. Not after all the shit you put me and the boys through when we were little more than babies, and especially not when you could've really hurt my daughter!" I wretched open the front door then, and shoved her outside, while all the while, she stared at me, her brown eyes wide. "Stay the fuck away from both of us, Mom, because there's no way in hell I can ever forgive you for this," I declared, before slamming the door on her face.

. . .

After putting Hailey to bed on Wednesday night, I trekked through the living room, meaning to clean, but felt compelled to sit for a bit. As I lolled my head back on the back cushions of the couch, I whipped out my phone and accessed my texting app. Feeling slightly annoyed that there were three texts I'd sent Axel since my birthday, all unanswered, I rolled my eyes, fully prepared to give up completely on our friendship. However, another text came through, this time from Franny, informing me that Clark had Ezra for the night, and that she was on her way over to my apartment to see me.

I got to my feet shortly thereafter, once I heard her knocking, and crossed the living room to let her inside. I let out a sigh then, standing on my toes and pulling her in for a hug, which she immediately returned. "Sorry, just needed this," I said, my voice slightly muffled by her shoulder, just millimeters above my head.

"I know the feeling," she said quietly, and kept me in her arms as we shuffled into my place, and took the liberty of shutting and locking the door behind us. She guided me to the couch and sat across from me, staring at me. "Mickey told me when down the other day."

I bit my lip. "With my mom?"

"Hell yeah with your mom," she said, nodding.

I swallowed then, raising my eyes to hers. "You here to chew me out?"

"Never," Franny replied, squeezing my hand. "I love Aunt Murphy, you know that, and she's been my boss for years. But I always support you, Iana, no matter what. I don't know why she broke her sobriety after all these years, and I hope that one day you two can talk about it, but I'd never force the issue. I mean, if the roles were reversed, and my mom was watching Ezra, and the same shit went down…" She shook her head. "I might do worse."

I smiled slightly then. "Or call me to do it," I joked.

Franny grinned. "Yeah. I just may take you up on that."

I nodded. "Well, I'm always here for you. You know that."

"I do know that, Iana," she said, her voice firm. "You've proven that time and time again for me over the years. Hell, if you hadn't come by that night that I told Colin that I was pregnant, I don't know what would've happened. I can't thank you enough for saving both mine and Ezra's lives that night."

"I know you would've done the same for me, Franny. That's what family does. You're like the big sister I never knew I needed."

"Back at you, Iana," she said softly. She hesitated for a moment, almost as if she wanted to get to the point, her real reason for coming over.

I smiled then, and squeezed her hand. "You okay?"

She nodded. "Oh, yeah. Fine."

"You sure?" I asked. "I mean, is something up with Clark and Ezra? I thought they took to one another pretty quickly…"

"Of course they did," Franny replied, grinning. "They're both great. Guess I'm just a little worried about the future…"

I smiled at her. "Aren't we all?"

"Yeah, well, me for a specific reason," she replied, hunching her shoulders. "Guess I don't know if my husband'll still love me by the end of the year…"

I made a face at that declaration then, unsure of how to respond. "Well, that's a weird thing to say, isn't it, Franny?"

She blinked. "Why?"

"Well, I mean, Clark seems like a pretty stand-up guy. After all the bullshit between the two of you went down, you still came together, because you're truly in love. Why wouldn't he love you by the end of the year? Give me one good reason."

She sighed. "Appearance-wise."

I scoffed then, rolling my eyes. "Franny, Clark's the kind of guy who wouldn't care if you wore a fucking grocery bag twenty-four seven. In fact, because it's you, he'd probably like it," I said, and kept right on smiling. "You've got nothing to worry about."

She bit her lip then, unsure. "Well, what if I get fat?"

I laughed. "Well, you're the manager of a diner which specializes in pie. I'd say that, as long as you keep up with your cardio a few times a week, it shouldn't be a problem."

"Iana, I'm trying to be serious for a minute here," she said, ripping her hands out of mine and dragging them through her flaming red hair. "Please."

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said, throwing up my hands in surrender. "What's going on with you tonight?"

Franny sighed, dropping her hands and rolling her shoulders. "Sorry. Doctor said that I'll be a little unreasonable for a while."

"Unreasonable?" I ask.

"Yeah," she replied. "And I might have some mood swings."

"Why would you have…?" My eyes widened then, and I felt the grin spread upon my face just seconds later. "Franny!" I cried out. "When…?"

"December, according to the ultrasound," she replied, lowering her hands to her stomach. "Still a few weeks too early to find out the sex, but I know Clark wants a girl."

I let out a shout then, and threw my arms around her without hesitation. "This is the best news I've heard all week!" I replied.

Franny laughed right along with me. "Well, Baby Crowe is a hell of a lucky kid to have you as its aunt, Iana," she said, squeezing me right back. "I'm lucky enough to have you as my cousin and my sister, and I'd never want it any other way."

"Me neither, Franny," I said, pulling back and looking at her. "Me neither."

. . .

The restaurant that Penny had booked for the annual summer benefit dinner was your typical hoity-toity one, where the executive chef would come by the private room and greet the diners who were spending hundreds of dollars, which seemed to justify his choice of profession. I kept my eyes down and focused on the champagne I was somehow permitted to drink; Penny explained that, as the executive chef was a business associate of the Kennedy family, he was trained to look the other way about certain things. As I swirled the beautiful liquid in the flute provided, I swallowed slightly, remembering that it was the exact same kind that Liam had brought for me when I'd just moved into my apartment.

"Terrance!" Penny cried out then, her voice filled with the warmth of pure honey as our chef came into the private room, which overlooked the Chicago skyline.

"Ah, Miss Penny," Terrance said, his voice peppered with a pleasant French accent, as he crossed over to her, and kissed her outstretched hand. "I do hope everything will be to your satisfaction this evening," he went on, as other servers trooped into the room, six in all, so that each would be required to put one plate in front of each person at the table.

"I'm sure it will be," Penny assured him, "as always." She then proceeded to go around the table and introduce us all, and, finally, she came to me, sandwiched on her other side, stuck between her and Liam. "And this is our COO, Iana Milkovich, without whom Nell's Rags would likely no longer be here."

"Miss Milkovich, an honor indeed," Terrance said, and took my hand and kissed it, and I flushed then, feeling pressure on my right knee, beneath the expensive tablecloth.

"The pleasure is mine, Monsieur Dupont," I replied, and Terrance looked enchanted by my attempt at French, before he returned to his conversation with Penny. I looked around the table as my steak was placed in front of me and, once I noticed that everyone else was involved in their own conversations, I reached out then and shoved Liam's hand off my knee. "Jesus, do you even know how to keep your hands to yourself?!" I hissed through my teeth.

Liam sighed, his shoulders tensing. "Look, Iana, I really think that it would be best if we stepped out onto the balcony for a word…"

"Absolutely not," I replied, cutting him off. "I'm not going anywhere with you. I told you this time and time again, Liam. These actions between us this past year, giving in to flights of fancy, have been inappropriate in the wake of your engagement. I'm ashamed of myself that I've allowed it to get this far."

"Iana…"

"No," I said, daring to meet his eyes. "I told you Liam. I told you," I went on, my resolve fading as I allowed myself to no longer be so cold. "Why can't you just let me go?"

He sighed. "It's not that easy, Iana."

"Of course it is," I replied. "You made your choice back in London, when I told you that I wouldn't be second best. I won't subject myself to being your mistress, like some medieval soap opera or some shit. I said that, while your relationship with Illiana continued, that you won't have a chance in hell with me."

"And I said that the marriage wouldn't even be real," Liam said quickly.

I shook my head at him. "It's not just a fucking piece of paper, Liam. Not to me," I whispered to him then, my voice trembling as I attempted to keep my cool in front of the four other people at the table. "I don't care what kind of modern agreement you have with Illiana, and, quite frankly, I don't give a fuck. You can't just invite me into the fold if I've refused the invitation, and I have refused it, Liam, because I can't be with you while you're engaged to someone else. You're getting married in just a short time, and I can't let myself to…"

"What?" he asked. "Live?"

I sighed. "If that's what you call it, then yeah, Liam. I won't allow myself to live with the notion that someone I care about gives himself in marriage to someone he won't ever love. It's fucking selfish Liam; not just to me and you, but to Illiana as well. As much as I tried to resent her during all this, as as much as I wanted to scream when she asked me to be a bridesmaid, I couldn't say no to either. And do you know why? Because, whether I like it or not, she makes you happy. I mean, maybe you're not in love with her, but she could make you happy. That's all I ever wanted for you, Liam; to be happy…"

"I can't be happy, Iana. Not completely."

I bit my lip to ward off the tears from escaping my eyes. "I know," I said, my voice quiet as I lowered my eyes again. "And neither can I. But, I'll try to be. I'll try to be happy, even if you're going to repeatedly break my heart, Liam. I've had it worse," I said then, and lifted up my flute without even looking for it, and brought it to my lips, hoping for some form of numbness to take away the pain.

. . .

Given that Franny's announcement was a bit of a shock, I found that as I tucked in Hailey that night after the summer benefit dinner, and made sure that she was asleep before I left the room was more of a calming experience, given that it was something I could expect in any given day. I pressed my lips to my daughter's forehead just before I walked out, looking at her incredibly thick eyelashes as they swept her cheeks and how her raven hair, just like mine, fanned out around her pillow. I turned around and switched off her light then, shutting the door behind me and heading into the living room. I went around in loops for the next several minutes, picking up Hailey's various scattered toys and books, distracting myself from going to bed, unknowing what the morning would ultimately bring, and it was that unknown that frightened me the most, for it was one of the few things in life that we none of us could plan for.

I continued in this manner for over twenty minutes, picking up the living room, which had slowly but surely become a nightly ritual. Since Hailey was two now, soon she would have to partake in helping me, as she was as intelligent as I had been at that age, and I knew she was fully capable of doing so. However, she would be so tired at the end of the day that I didn't want to rush her into growing up. I'd only had fleeting moments of childhood throughout my life, and I didn't want the same thing to happen to her. She would always be my baby, and since I had no present plans of adding to my family, I wanted to prolong her childhood as much as possible, and hoped that she could grow up when she saw fit.

When the knock at the door came shortly after nine, by which time I was sipping a cold drink to ward off the heat of the night and was attempting to write up a business plan on my iPad to present to Penny for next week, I promptly got to my feet and walked over to the door. I was not expecting anyone at the moment, and had been told the age-old story that it was usually bad news if someone showed up unexpectedly at such a late hour. It was then that I raised my eyebrows when I saw Axel through the spyhole, and was slightly taken aback when I noticed how disheveled he looked. Biting my lip and remembering how worried I'd been over the past nearly two weeks of him not contacting me, I decided that it was safe as I unlocked the door and stood in the doorway.

"Axel," I said, not questioning or condemning, but merely neutral as he raised his dark eyes upwards to meet mine.

"Iana," he said then, his voice heavy. "Can I come in?"

I sighed, but nevertheless moved out of the way for him to enter my apartment, which he did, and I shut the door behind him. "Haven't seen or heard much from you lately," I said quietly, watching as he just stood there in the living room. "I mean, call me the crazy one here, but I think when you're involved in someone's life up to a point, even though we're just friends, it's considered to be a common courtesy to at least reach out once in a while, just to make sure the other one is okay. I mean, we've established the fact that, ever since I got back from California, that we had a relationship again; no longer a romantic one, but still. I mean, god knows I haven't held up my end of the deal, given that neither of us were in the mood to talk at the same time, or at all, but that's on you, too. You never seem to want to contact me anymore. It's like I repulse you or something…"

"You don't repulse me, Iana, jesus," he muttered, running a hand through his hair as he contemplated what to say next. "Look, I…" He raised his eyes to mine then, and I could see the hurt and the pain behind them. "I can't do this anymore, Iana."

"Do what?" I demanded then, trying very hard to keep my voice in check, due to Hailey asleep in the next room. "What the fuck are you talking about?!"

"This. Us," he said, gesturing in between us then as he leaned back up against my mantle. "We can't be friends anymore, Iana."

"If this is about you not being ready to accept my obligation to Hailey over some random friendship, then fine. I get it. But I want you to be straight with me and not jerk me around. I told you from day one, especially when we were dating, that you didn't have to be Hailey's father, but just to understand that I wasn't going to give her away or give custody to my parents or some shit like that. If you're asking me to choose between me and my daughter and intend to give me an ultimatum about it, then you're even more fucked up than I thought, Axel, because you should know by now that Hailey is my baby, and she means everything to me. My mom may have given up me and the boys for a guy once upon a time, but not me. Never. Hailey is my daughter, and she's not going anywhere, so get used to it."

"This isn't about Hailey, Iana," Axel replied, not rising to the heated tone of my voice; he hadn't moved since he'd barely contributed to the conversation. His hands were shoved into his pockets and his eyes had drifted upwards, towards the ceiling, almost as if he was looking skyward for some reason. "I told you that I loved Hailey from the get-go, and when a future for us seemed to be possible, I told you I would've adopted her, if that's what you and she would've wanted. I never put myself before Hailey; you know it, and I know it."

"Then, what's going on here?" I whispered to him, crossing the room towards him then and reached out, and I immediately stopped when his shoulders hunched slightly at my closeness to him, his head going down to stare at his sneakers. "I really don't want you to lie to me right now Axel. Please. I've had enough of lying…"

"Just goes to show that I'm not the friend for you," he replied, his tone completely dejected. "I told you a year ago that Liam was a fucking liar for not being with you. I don't know what he's hiding, but it's gotta be something, because that man loves you…"

I scoffed. "You're crazy. That's bullshit and you know it."

"Maybe," Axel allowed, lifting his eyes to mine, which were red with unshed tears, "but, as your friend, I know love when I see it. Liam loves you."

"The fucking bastard sent me away after we fucked, and then got engaged to a goddamn European supermodel," I said, looking away from Axel. "How is that love?"

"Maybe he's trying to protect you from something," Axel said quietly. "I told you from day one that rich families always have a dirty secret somewhere. I was Humphrey's," he said, his throat tightening around his words then, almost as if he was forcing them out, knowing that he couldn't turn back now. "Liam's family has to have something under their bed, and when he's ready for you to know what it is, he'll tell you."

"What are you trying to tell me here?" I whispered to him then, slowly maneuvering my eyes back towards him. "You went silent for days… How do you think that's supposed to make me feel, Axel? You're supposed to be my friend…"

"You know as well as I do that, for the last several months, we've been acting like best friends without benefits," he said quietly, and I chewed the inside of my cheek, the guilt literally eating away at me. "And I get it, Iana, I do. I'm not about to stand here and curse you out for not staying with me, because I know that you want someone else in that way, and were only using me for comfort. No," he said, taking one of his hands from his pocket and holding it up. "I know I'm not wrong here, Iana. I know you couldn't love me the way I loved you."

"Okay, maybe I haven't been acting like we were a real couple for the few weeks we were supposed to be one,or a friend to you in the last several months," I said, my voice quiet, knowing that I had to give him that, at the very least. "I'm sorry, Axel. If you're asking me to change, then I don't know what…"

"I couldn't ask you to change, Iana," Axel said, smiling slightly then. "You being who you are is what caused me to fall for you in the first place."

"Still, I'm sorry," I said, swallowing. "I know you need someone to love you like that, and I really tried to, Axel, I really did. Before Liam and I did what we did the last time, I thought there could've been a chance for us to make it work, but now…"

"Now you realize how much you care about Liam, want him, and love him," he went on, his words sounding painful, but not condemning, on his end of things.

I shook my head. "I don't love Liam," I told him, my voice firm.

"You don't want to love him," Axel explained. "There's a difference. You don't want to love him because he hurt you, last time you two were really together, and he's engaged now, so shit's gotten really complicated. Since then, you've managed to successfully put up a wall between the two of you, and to keep it strictly professional, because of Illiana. Whenever he attempts to find an angle, a way in, despite everything, you block it, not wanting to feel the way he made you feel ever again. That's why you turned to me after you got back from California; yeah, I'd hurt you in the past, but it was a lesser pain, because you haven't been in love with me since we were together during the trial."

I opened my mouth to protest, but I immediately found myself snapping it shut as I truly thought about it for the first time. As much as I hated to admit it, Axel was right. I'd gone to him when I needed him the most, when I literally thought that life as I knew it would end forever, with me going to prison, possibly for life. And now, now when I was faced with losing Axel all over again, even if it was just as just a friend, it was terrible, but not unbearable, as it once had been, because, whether I liked it or not, the void of possible boyfriend and man I cared about the most had been filled by another man.

"Please say something," Axel said softly.

"I don't know what I feel for Liam," I said, and Axel nodded. "Do I love him? No idea. Is there something there? Absolutely. I definitely need to explore that, if the moment ever presents itself to either of us, but before I do," I said, crossing my arms then, "I need to know why you dropped off the map for days. Like it or not, we're still friends, Axel, until you walk out that door… You came here to tell me goodbye, didn't you?" I ask him then, my voice hitching then.

Axel nodded. "I came here to say goodbye," he replied, "because I needed to tie up some loose ends before I go."

"Go?" I asked. "You're going away somewhere?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

"A vacation will do you good," I said, forcing a smile on my lips. "Maybe some new scenery will cheer you up… How long were you thinking of going?"

"If I'm lucky, just twenty-five years, if special circumstances are considered, given the situation I found myself in."

"What are you…?" I cut myself off then, shaking my head. "Axel…" I whispered then, and went towards him then, pulling a bit at his hoodie, and seeing the cuts on his face, plus the dried blood on the tank top he wore beneath it, and immediately drew back. "Axel, what the fuck did you do?!" I demanded, my hands flying to my throat.

"I just went to talk to him," Axel said, his voice numb then, almost as if he was suddenly putting himself back into the very situation which had brought him here. "Just went to ask why he snuck into my room, when I was a little boy, and did what he did to me. Son of a bitch fucking denied doing anything wrong," he said quietly, his hands curling into fists from inside his pockets. "All I could think about was that smug son of a bitch laughing about how nobody would ever believe me, and he smacked me across my face, cutting me with all those gaudy rings of his… And then, all of a sudden, I saw Tommy, doing what he did to you… Just lost control," he said then, as I shook my head at him. "I grabbed his gun off from the shelf and just fired at him, over and over again, and then there was blood everywhere, just like on the sheets whenever he did what he did, because he always went fast, never waited… Impatient son of a bitch," he said, clenching his teeth as the tears went down his face again.

"Humphrey?" I whispered.

Axel jerkily nodded. "Yeah. Humphrey."

I felt my own tears co-mingling with my lips then as I just stared at him for several minutes, so surprised that it had come to this. "You going to run?" I asked him.

He shook his head. "No. I'm going to turn myself in now," he said, his focus coming back to him then as he raised his eyes back to mine. "Just had to say goodbye first."

I nodded, crossing fully over to him then and pulling him into my arms, his sobs echoing in my ears as I held him, trying not to audibly cry. "Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you for coming to say goodbye to me, Axel…"

Axel sniffed then, and we remained silent there for several moments, just holding each other. He pulled back from me then after five whole minutes, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. "Look, I know that you have feelings for Liam…"

I sighed. "Yeah, I do…"

"If something happens where you don't get together," Axel said quietly, raising his eyes back to mine, "would you be waiting for me when I got out?"

I sighed, not wanting to give him false hope, but also not wanting to crush him either. I cupped his cheek in my hand, stroking it with my thumb, careful to avoid the cuts his tormentor had given him, as one last piece of revenge. "I'm sorry," I told him, my voice soft. "I can't promise you that, Axel. I'm sorry. I was in love with you once, when I was fourteen. I don't feel the same way about you that I used to. I can't tell you that I'll be waiting out here, the way you want me to be waiting. I'll be waiting for you as a friend, and nothing more. I wish I could promise you that I'll wait twenty-five to life, for what you want, but I can't do that."

Axel nodded. "I know that. Just hoped, I guess," he said, a soft chuckle escaping his lips. "I'll miss you, though, Iana."

I smiled then, not even trying to summon my tears back. "I'll miss you, too, Axel."

Axel shuffled over to the door then, and waited for me to open it before he stepped out into the hallway, and turned back to look at me. "Give Liam another chance, even though he's possibly taken," he said. "I know you love him, even if you won't admit it. I know he loves you, even though he can't make up his mind about what he wants. Give it a shot," he said, giving me a sad smile. "And, most of all, Iana, I want you to have a good life with Hailey. Nobody deserves that more than you," he told me, walking over towards the elevator and pressing the button.

I watched as he waited for the chrome box to arrive, and when it did, he raised his hand to me, one last time. I did the same, as I leaned against my apartment door, and we mutually forced smiles onto our faces. I watched as he stepped into the elevator then, my breath hitching in my throat as he disappeared from the hallway. The elevator dinged just a second later, and I could just make out the doors closing with him inside them, as it pulled him downwards out of there, and out of my life, forever.

TO BE CONTINUED