Chapter 47 = Aftermath

Emmalynn was surprised to find herself in the Fade. She remembered nothing after Rana plunged the sword into the archdemon.

Is the Archdemon dead? Emmalynn looked around, the Fade seemingly superimposed over the roof of Fort Drakon. In the fade, hovering over the body of the Archdemon – which lay on the other side of the veil –there was a strange mist. Suddenly she felt Alistair standing next to her.

"Em?"

She heard the trepidation in his voice and took his hand in hers. She was about to speak when suddenly Surana stood before them.

"M, Alistair."

"Rana, thank the Maker! Is the Archdemon truly dead?"

"And why are we all here?" Alistair added.

"Yes, it is truly dead. You're here so you can bear witness." It was Hope's voice. Hope and Calenhad came into their presence shortly thereafter.

Before another word could be uttered, the mist Emmalynn had noticed began to coalesce as a violent quake shook the Fade. It felt as if the earth was rending itself apart, though because of the odd dynamics of the fade, no one had fallen over. Once the quaking stopped, what had been mist had taken shape. The being, Urthemiel, was male, stood on two legs, and was taller than a hill giant, but he was clearly not a dragon.

Urthemiel had elegantly curved, opalescent horns and elven-like ears. His skin was a rich, dark brown. His long hair and goatee were as black as a raven's wing. He had a strong jawline, a beautiful symmetry to his face, and then you saw his eyes – there were no whites, no irises, no pupils; instead, lyrium swirled in his eyes like liquid.

He was simply beautiful to behold, but Emmalynn felt that his beauty went beyond the physical realm. She felt that his soul was the embodiment of empathy, understanding, compassion, and something else that was indescribable, but it was ancient and pure. Only something that was purely good could be changed into something that was pure evil.

He looked at each of those assembled, his eyes settling on Emmalynn, and he smiled. He spoke, his voice like the rumble of the earth, but it was clear that he said 'Thank you' as his soul faded from view.

Calenhad explained, "The Grey Wardens have not been served well by their leaders or by the chantry. Only a Grey Warden mage can kill an archdemon and live. They, like all wardens, need to be tainted – but far less so than is practiced."

Hope nodded. "The current warden joining is like using an axe to cut butter. You can adjust it, Emmalynn. Once you see it, you'll know. No more Calling and they can have families. The wardens must evolve. Aedan needs to expand and train the wardens until the Ferelden wardens have the power to stand on their own and against Weisshaupt. Then the Orlesian wardens will stand with Ferelden and be less likely to accept the wrong help at the worst possible time."

"How can a grey warden mage perform the sending and kill the archdemon?" Alistair asked.

"Nematon is a sword for the ages. I gift it to the Ferelden grey wardens – but for now it should go back into hiding," Calenhad said.

Surana frowned. "Was Urthemiel the g–spirit of Beauty? What were the others like?"

Hope sighed. "The chantry is so wrong, as were the Magisters. These supposed old gods are ancient spirits, as old as the world, but fragmented; they used to be one being and lyrium was its blood."

"Urthemiel is really a fertility spirit. The others are Mother-sky, Father-sun, shelter, provider, wisdom, and freedom - Razikale, Toth, Luscan, Dumat, and Zazikale.

"If you look at the constellations, things make more sense," Calenhad added.

Alistair began to nod his head. "Yes! The constellation for Dumat is an owl – Wisdom." He turned to Emma. "We have more star gazing to do."

Emma blushed then cleared her throat. "Okay, it is time to go back." She looked from Alistair to Surana and smiled.

Rana didn't smile back. "M, I'm not going back."

"What?" Emma looked wide-eyed at Rana, stunned.

"You heard me."

"Rana, your body is truly fine, you can go back."

"I know M, but I'm not. The wardens from Weisshaupt will come and want to know why I lived."

"We won't tell them!" Emma's voice pitched high as she began to panic. She looked at Hope and Calenhad pleadingly. "You said the wardens need to evolve! Rana needs to be there to help."

Hope looked at Emmalynn, "Child, Surana is doing what needs to be done."

"M, the Weisshaupt wardens have set themselves up as the only ones willing to make the ultimate sacrifice to save the people of Thedas, the only ones Thedas can turn to in a Blight. That grants them power in every country in Thedas. If they find out about this, they will kill everyone who knows to keep the power in their own hands.

"They need to be kept blind while Aedan recruits and rebuilds. Then Aedan can spread out to the League of Marcher Nations and ally with Orlais, hopefully before the next Blight. I need to do this to buy him time.

"Someone has to save you all, and it's me."

"No, you don't have to do this! I…we can find another way. Rana…please…don't leave me…please." It was the soft voice of the scared child she'd been when she first came to the circle and it was heartbreaking to hear.

"M, I have to."

"Wh…what about Zevran?"

"He knows. That's why he didn't come up to the roof."

"How did you convince him not to stop you?"

"I'm not sure I actually did convince him."

Emma was beginning to cast to send Rana back as the connection between Rana and his body disappeared.

Emma paled. "How?"

"Aedan. We agreed to this."

Alistair looked at his friend. "Surana, why did we go through all this, then?"

"Because we needed to know it would work and that the paradox was crap."

A tear-blinded Emma cried, "You didn't believe me?"

"We believed you, but we needed witnesses. You and Alistair are the witnesses Aedan needs. You will also help him buy time to grow the Wardens."

"What would have been the plan if I hadn't said anything?"

"I would be here, happy to know that my soul was still intact."

Hope said softly, "It's time."

Surana finally let the tears fall. "M, my life was blessed because of you. I will always love you."

"I will always love you." Emma threw herself into his arms. "Rana, you will always be in my heart and I will always miss you."

Rana pulled away. "Alistair, it's been…an honor."

"As has knowing you, Surana." The two men embraced.

Rana whispered, "Take care of her."

"Always."

Surana nodded to Hope and Calenhad, then turned and walked away. Emma watched him vanish into the Fade.

"He is at the Maker's side," Hope said.

Calenhad quirked an eyebrow.

Hope noticed, then she looked alarmed. "Emmalynn, go! Use haste and run to the first barrier."

Maker, it has to be Teagan! Emmalynn nodded and vanished from the Fade. She opened her eyes and without saying anything to anyone – took off at a run, casting haste to get down the tower.

Alistair, still in the Fade, looked incredibly confused.

"Alistair, you need to help Aedan," Calenhad said firmly.

Minutes later, Alistair opened his eyes and sat up. A few feet away, Jowan and Aedan were kneeling next to Surana's body; Alistair looked around to see that Emmalynn was already gone.

Turning to Alistair, Aedan looked as if he'd aged ten years from the grief writ large in his expression. "It had to happen this way."

Alistair tried to reassure his friend. "I know. The last thing we need is a threat from Weisshaupt."

"Jowan and I need to secure the Archdemon's body and harvest the blood. Oghren and Sten went to find Riordan's body."

Alistair nodded. "I'll take Surana to the chantry, then I need to find Emma."

"Thanks, Alistair. When you see Emmalynn, tell her I'm sorry."

Jowan shook his head. "No Aedan, we need to tell Emmalynn in person. She needs to hear it from us, she needs to be allowed to be angry at us."

Aedan sighed. "You're right."

~oOOo~

Emmalynn had just reached the first barrier when she heard her name. She turned to see Leliana running towards her. "Emmalynn! Thank the Maker I found you; Bann Teagan has been seriously injured. Come, Sten and Oghren were nearby arranging to have Riordan's body sent to the chantry. Sten stayed with me to watch over Teagan."

Emmalynn followed the bard. When she saw Alistair's father, he was laying on the ground, his helmet beside him, and he was covered in blood; not all of it was his, but it was enough for Emma to know that the situation was critical.

Ignoring the pool of blood, Emmalynn knelt next to Teagan, her aura already visible. Leliana helped remove his chest plate.

"What happened?"

"Ogre. The Bann was hit broadside by the boulder it threw," Sten reported.

Emmalynn nodded and tuned-out everything to focus on Teagan. Flail chest, fractured skull, internal bleeding. Lungs functional, heart uninjured, spinal cord severely impinged. Prevent shock. Brain and spine most critical, need to reduce swelling on the brain and in the spinal column, mend vertebrae.

I will not allow Alistair to lose his father. Hope, I ask for your protection – I'm going to need to draw as much power as I can from the Fade. If that isn't enough, use me.

It will be enough, child.

Everyone saw Emmalynn's normal cerulean aura began to glow and lighten to the color of lyrium and then it and expanded to surround her and Teagan in a protective cocoon.

A nearby templar sensed the power and followed it. When he saw Emmalynn he screamed, "Stand down mage, you will summon a demon!"

Sten turned around. "Do nothing, Bas! She is a spirit healer, working to save someone's life."

"She is a maleficar calling forth a demon." The templar moved his arms in preparation to smite Emmalynn. Sten stuck out a fist and hit the side of the templar's helmet. The templar dropped like a puppet whose strings had been cut, and everyone in the area gave the small group an even wider birth.

Emma didn't notice. Nor did she notice Alistair, who was now kneeling nearby, unable to pass through her aura. His eyes never left his father's face.

After what felt like an eternity to Alistair, Emma's aura slowly faded.

Teagan opened his eyes to see Emma smiling through her tears. "Welcome back."

"Are you alright, Emma?"

She nodded.

"Is Alistair safe?"

"Right here, Da. It's all over. The archdemon is dead."

Teagan slowly sat up hugging his son. "Thank the Maker you and Emma are alive, Son."

Emmalynn, no longer able to keep her emotions stable, spoke quickly as she stood up. "Ali, I need to go back to the mage encampment; I need to get a situation report and then I need to check in with medics."

"Em, let me go with you."

Still struggling to contain her equilibrium she was abrupt, "No, Ali." She sighed, "Sorry, I didn't mean to snap. You need to take your father back to the palace so he can rest. Please get food into him to help make up for the blood loss, I could only boost his system so much."

Ali reluctantly agreed. He looked into her eyes, "I love you."

"I love you, too." Her eyes started to redden so she quickly turned and left, headed in the direction of the encampment.

Alistair was worried. Maker, please help her until I can.

Watching Emmalynn leave, Teagan knew something was seriously wrong. "Son…what else happened?"

"Surana killed the Archdemon. He's dead."

"Maker, no! Emma must be devastated! Look, I'll be fine at the palace. Go to her."

"No Father, Emma is right you need to eat and to rest. I don't trust anyone to make you do that. At least I can sit on you."

~oOOo~

After the archdemon died, the darkspawn were in disarray and it became a route. Soldiers were still celebrating, and as Emmalynn hurried to the encampment she was grabbed around the waist by a soldier from the Royal army and twirled in a dance. She was able to slip away and caste haste to make sure no one else could get in her way.

Just outside of the camp entrance, Emmalynn felt the grief starting to take hold. I need to know how my mages and the templars fared, the dead need to be identified, services need to be organized. Maker, give me strength. Come on, Amell, pull it together; you have things to do.

She entered the encampment and was relieved that the damage around her was quite minimal. The first person she saw was Greagoir, who was not far from her tent.

Emmalynn noticed his expression go from relieved to worried and she misinterpreted the cause. "Oh! The blood isn't mine."

"I know that. Who did we lose?"

Her voice was almost a monotone. "Rana. He struck the final blow but stayed in the Fade. We also lost Devon, Agnes, Lanasa, Kinnon, and Mack. I saw them fall to the Archdemon. I haven't heard reports of anyone else. "

Greagoir placed his hand on her shoulder and steered her into her command tent. Once inside, he put his arms around her. "Emmalynn, you have to let some of it out."

Emma was about to refuse but simply couldn't. She cried until she felt she could think again. Greagoir gave her a damp cloth to cool her eyes.

"Thank you Greagoir, you know me well."

Greagoir nodded.

"Did we lose any templars?"

"We lost Ser Dylan, he died protecting Petra. He'd come a long way from sassing you when you were standing in for Irving."

"I am so sorry Greagoir; anyone else?"

"Not from our Circle but several from Jainen. All considered, we could have lost more. I will find Petra and send her here."

"Thank you. I need to change into something less ah…bloody."

The Knight-Commander nodded and left.

Emmalynn changed out of her armor. After washing the blood off, she put on a dark blue cambric shirt, her spare gambeson and fresh pair of breeches. She pulled her hair back into a ponytail and had just finished putting her boots back on when Petra entered the tent. The two women hugged.

Petra pulled back. "When we saw the explosion, we feared the worst. Thank the Maker you're okay, but Greagoir told me about Surana. I'm so sorry."

Emmalynn nodded. "Petra, I need to focus. Casualties?"

The senior enchanter completely understood and reported, "The casualties were very low. We lost Chester, Alan, Emita, Symon and Perry. Greagoir told me about the mages we lost on the roof."

"What is happening at the hospital here?"

"Everyone here is resting comfortably. The palace has now become the main hospital as it is in the most protected area."

"Anyone with Blight sickness?"

"Mercifully no. You don't need you to worry about us."

Emmalynn nodded. "Petra, you're in charge here. I need to visit the medical tents and the palace hospital. I will update you as I can, and can you then update Greagoir?"

"Of course."

Emma shouldered her staff and her pack of medicinal supplies. As she left her tent, she felt Hope buoy her spirits as she met with the field medics and triaged those who needed to be sent to the palace hospital. She then and sent runners to the Arl of Denerim's estate, Bann Teagan's estate, and the Pearl to inform the city guards at each location to send those needing more extensive healing be sent to the palace, and to advise her of any that could not be moved.

When she got to the palace the replies had already arrived and were reviewed by Wynne. She reported to Emmalynn, "There are no more injured at the evacuation centers, however there are some critical patients here who are beyond me." She knew better than to speak of Surana.

"I spoke with the field medics and it looks like causalities will come in waves. I don't know how many. Take me to the patients I need to see."

Alis was in charge of triage at the palace hospital and was indispensable in prioritizing which patients needed which class of healing. Over the next six hours there were three waves of patients that arrived at the hospital. Emmalynn was brought the most critical casualties. She would heal them and grab a bit of sleep until the next wave arrived. Alis came to her after the third wave.

"Alis, are there any more?" an exhausted Emmalynn asked.

"No, at least, not ones needing your attention. The Queen has set aside some rooms for you, so it is time for you to go." She gently took Emmalynn by the elbow and led her away. Emma was too fatigued to notice where she was being led and when they entered another wing of the palace, the guards saluted and stepped aside. If Emma had been alert, she would have noticed that she was in the Royal wing.

Alis stopped in front of a door and knocked. Alistair opened it and stepped out just in time to catch Emma as she fainted. He lifted her up and carried her inside.

"I'll get Wynne," Alis said as she dashed off.

Alistair laid Emma down on the bed. He took off her boots and gambeson. Minutes later Wynne came in followed by Alis.

Wynne examined her. "She's pushed herself too hard, and her mana is extremely low. When she wakes up give her this potion and make sure she eats. She needs complete bed rest for one day at least. Sit on her if you have to, Alistair. Aedan wants to hold Surana's pyre three days from now, and the Queen has called a Landsmeet for the day after. However, if she is not well enough, they will delay things. It is vital for the baby and the mother that Emma eat and for her mana to come back on its own."

"Thanks, Wynne. I know you were close to Surana as well."

"No thanks needed. Emma needs time and space to grieve. Unless you spent time at the Circle with them it is hard to know just how important she and Surana were to each other." Wynne cleared her throat to cover for her own emotional pain. "Take care her, and of yourself, Alistair. I will check in tomorrow."

After Wynne left, Alis looked at Emmalynn sleeping and shook her head, then looked at Alistair, "They would even finish each other's sentences. In case the First Enchanter becomes…difficult, you can tell her that no one needs her level of healing. Remind her that she put Senior Enchanter Petra in charge of the mage encampment, and I will send Petra a report. Tell her and anyone else that the First Enchanter is off duty…period."

"'Thank you' seems so inadequate for how you've taken care of Emma."

Alis looked embarrassed for a moment. "At least I know she's in good hands with you."

After Alis left, Alistair cleaned the remaining traces of blood from Emma's hands, putting her in one of his tunics. When he readied himself for bed, he climbed in next to her and gathered her in his arms. She stirred briefly but never really woke up.

It was mid-day before Emmalynn stirred. She tried to sit up but was just too weak. On the nightstand was a bell and a note Your desire is my command.

Emma smiled at the note and rang the bell.

Alistair came in and knelt on the floor next to the bed; he took her hand and kissed it. "Sweetheart, Wynne said you need to take this potion and eat. Is there anything special you want from the kitchen?"

Emma stroked the side of Alistair's face. "Soup?"

"Sure. Anything else?"

"Some bread?"

"Of course." He kissed her, and then uncorked the potion bottle and helped her sit up. She drank the potion. "No matter what it is, Wynne's potions always taste like apples."

Alistair chuckled. "Let me send out for some food. I'll be right back."

She held the empty potion bottle, reminded of potions in the past…

"The neutralizing effect alone would be enough to get me to the Chantry and through part of the service, but I'm also taking one of Rana's special, diluted Mage bane potions."

She held up the potion and drank. "Blecch! Rana, can't you make a potion that doesn't taste vile?"

"Hey, this is a damn sight better than the full-strength version."

"Rana," she whispered as tears streamed down her face, making no effort to stem them.

Alistair came back. "The food will be here-Em?" He looked at the potion bottle she was hugging while sobbing; he crawled into bed with her, pulled her into his arms and let her cry.

Emma was awake and hungry when cinnamon soup and soda bread arrived along with the Queen. "Alistair, why don't you check on your father? I'll stay with Emma while you're gone."

Alistair left the two alone.

"I bet I have you to thank for the choice of soup and bread."

Anora nodded and pointed to the side of the bed. "May I?"

Emma scooted over. "Of course, please make yourself comfortable. How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine, though I am concerned about you. But since I'm not a healer I'll just be a mother hen and make sure you eat every drop and crumb."

Emmalynn chuckled. They chatted about inconsequential things while Emma ate. Anora confided in Emma that she'd decided on a name for the baby. Cailan Gareth Theirin. Gareth was named after her father's father. "When he ascends to the throne, he can be Cailan II or Gareth."

"Have you told your father yet?"

"Nope. I think I'm going to spring it on him at the naming ceremony."

"I've heard from Teagan and Alistair about how close Loghain and his father were. I think your dad will be tickled pink…in front of the whole Landsmeet. Sneaky way to have everyone see your father in a different light and to tease him. I like it."

Anora laughed. "You do know me well. The Landsmeet needs to see the Loghain I see. The Loghain before mother died."

While they were talking, they heard Alistair return. Anora looked at her friend. "Emma, if you need me, I am literally down the hall. Don't hesitate."

"I won't."

The women hugged. As Anora was leaving the room, she asked, "Shall I send Alistair in?"

Emma nodded.

For the rest of the day, Emmalynn alternated between crying, sleeping, and eating. Teagan came to check on them, as did Leliana. Aedan and Jowan stayed away, not wanting to upset Emmalynn when she really needed to rest. Leliana dropped off a scroll case that Surana had asked to be given to Emmalynn when Alistair thought she could handle it.

The following day, Emmalynn's energy and mana returned to normal but emotionally she felt she was on tenterhooks. Still, she was up, washed and dressed, sitting in the main room waiting for their breakfast to be brought up. Alistair was very reluctant to show her the scroll but knew that while she would be upset seeing the scroll now, she would be upset and angry if he held it back. He decided to give it to her before she ate.

"Em?"

Emma heard the hesitancy in his voice. "What's wrong, Ali?"

"Surana left a scroll for you. Do you want to read it now or later?"

"Now…please."

"I thought so. Do you want me here while you read it?"

"Yes. Can you just hold me?"

"I will always hold you."

They curled up together on the chaise. Emma looked at the familiar M inscribed on the paper and ran her fingers over the single letter, reminded again of the past...

She was standing at the entrance to the apprentice dorm when she saw an elven boy approach. His hair was so blond it was almost white. He looked older and had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes

"Apprentice Amell? I'm Apprentice Surana. They stuck you with me so I can show you around and keep you out of trouble." He looked at her bandaged hand. "Blood for the phylactery?"

The 9-year old girl with curly hair in two puffy pigtails nodded. She was holding her bandaged hand.

"Does your hand still hurt?"

"No…?" The girl seemed unsure.

"Let me see your hand."

She held it out for Surana to unbandage. "Wait, did they take the blood?"

"Yes, I healed the cut. Don't tell anyone."

"Already you're trouble. Don't worry, I won't tell. Just keep the bandage on and wince every once in a while." He winked as they walked into the dorm towards an empty cot an open trunk. "So, what's your real name?"

"Emmalynn Amell."

"Emmalynn Amell? What a mouthful! It's all Ms and Ls. Here's your bunk."

"Why is there an M carved into the headboard?"

"It must be a sign from the Maker! Henceforth I shall call you M."

"The letter M?"

"Yep!"…

"Can you do this?" Alistair asked.

"Yes, I think I can." She unrolled the scroll.

Dearest M,

If you are reading this than the Archdemon is dead, as am I. I am sorry for not telling you the plan ahead of time, but you at least know what happened and why.

There are so many things I want to tell you. You were more than a friend, more than a sister. You were my other half, like twins separated at birth. I know you felt that way too, and now I know how much pain you feel because if our situations were reversed, I would be inconsolable.

But you have Alistair, your soulmate - he is your Honor and you are his Hope. You will make a new life together. Actually, you already have! I wish I could have met the nugget and watched you be the best mom in Thedas.

Please do me one favor?

DO NOT NAME THE BABY AFTER ME!

Before you ask, yes, even if I had known all of this would happen, I still would have become a warden. And yes, I would still have made the killing blow. I would, however, have let Morrigan turn Eamon into a toad.

Perhaps I was destined for this. 400 years ago, another elf named Garahel ended the 4th Blight and now an Elf named Garahel ended the 5th Blight. I think that the Elven need to retire the name.

Because of you, I am able to face my fate knowing that my soul will survive and knowing that I will see you one last time.

Emmalynn Amell Trevelyan, soon to be Emmalynn Theirin, you are the best person I have ever known, much less had the opportunity to love.

Embrace the light as you always do.

I wish you all the joy in this world. I will be here when you return – hopefully not for another 50 years.

Please take care of Zevran for me – You may be the only one who can save him from himself.

All my love,
your Rana

Emmalynn put the letter down and smiled sadly. "You are at the Maker's side, where you belong." She cried as Alistair held her, and it took less time to calm down and she was able to join Alistair on the terrace to break their fast. The sun was shining and Emmalynn enjoyed feeling it on her face.

She felt the fluttering of hope once again fill her heart. It was at that moment she felt a fluttering in her lower abdomen. Realizing what it was, "Alistair!"

"Em, what's wrong?"

"Nothing! The nugget moved; it's called the quickening! Oh, I wish you could feel it."

Alistair knelt in front of Emma and kissed her tummy. "Hello in there, nugget, this is your father. I love you." He stood up and kissed Emmalynn. "I love you, too. I think nugget is a good nickname until he or she presents themselves to the world."

"I think Rana would approve."

~oOOo~

AN: Thank you for the reviews! Thank you to my awesome beta. Sorry for the angst, but it was necessary.