Chapter 48 = Understanding and Taking Comfort

Zevran vanished after the Archdemon died and it took Alistair two days to track him down. Finally, the night before Surana's pyre, Sanga confirmed that Zevran was at the Pearl and had been since the evacuees left.

When Alistair told Emma, she was irate. "Rana's pyre is tomorrow night, and the day after Anora will be honoring the Grey Wardens at the Landsmeet. He doesn't get to hide in a whorehouse while I have to listen to my Rana being praised for his sacrifice!" She began to cry.

Alistair held her. "I know love, I know. I hope I can talk some sense into him."

Emma wiped her eyes. "Oh no. I am going to talk to him, and he will listen to me!"

"Can I at least accompany you to the Pearl?"

"Oh…of course. I'm sorry for being so strident."

"Don't apologize. You have every reason to be angry with him. I am too."

Emma sighed. "I know he's grieving; I just wish he hadn't decided to go it alone."

Bright and early the following morning, Alistair and Emmalynn went to the Pearl. Sanga gave Emma the key. Alistair went with her to make sure she got to Zevran's room safely and would stay outside of the room until she came out.

Emma wrapped on the door. "Zevran?" She called sharply.

The was no answer.

Using the key, she opened the door and slipped inside. The odor of unwashed bodies, sex, and stale alcohol assaulted her nose and fueled her anger. She placed the bundle of clean clothes on the dresser. She found Zevran passed out, alone, naked, and face down on the bed. His head was turned toward the heavily-curtained window. In her ire, Emmalynn violently yanked back the thick drape, letting the bright sun do the job of waking him up.

"Braska! No tengo uso para otra, puta!" He turned his head away from the window.

"Bueno, porque no soy una puta! But I will be damned if I let you shit on my brother's memory. So, get your pathetic arse out of bed!"

"Emmalynn?" Zevran was almost as stunned by Emma's presence as he was by the anger in the healer's usually gentle tone. He rolled over, placed a pillow in his lap and shielded his eyes.

Emmalynn moved away from the window to the foot of the bed so he could see her better. Zevran saw the bruises under her eyes, which spoke volumes about how she was feeling.

His voice was hoarse from fatigue and from pain. "Emma, we all grieve differently."

Emma sat on the edge of the bed, the anger ebbed from her as she asked, "Perhaps. But tell me, do you feel any better after three days of drinking and mindless sex?"

"No, I am afraid not."

"Then perhaps it's time to consider another way of grieving? Like being around people who understand the gravity of your loss? Perhaps a person suffering from the loss of the same person whom they also held so dear?"

She held out her hand and he grasped it. "You are too wise for your age, cariña, and I am sorry for having left you."

She nodded. "Rana's pyre is tonight and at tomorrow's Landsmeet Anora will honor him and the others. I need you to be there, and you need to be there."

"I will." Zevran bent over. "Ah! My head! It feels like Dwarves are mining my skull."

Emmalynn placed her hand on his head relieving the physical pain. "I'll send up a bath. There are fresh clothes on the dresser. Come downstairs when you're dressed, and we can go to the palace; the Queen is letting us stay there."

"Si. Thank you, my Esperanza."

She kissed the top of his head. "No thanks needed; it's what family does."

Leaving Zevran's room, Emma practically fell into Alistair's arms.

"Em, let's go downstairs and wait for him."

Emma nodded, and they left for the dining room.

Zevran appeared a quarter of a candle later, clean and dressed, however his typical swagger was absent, and his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. "I will pay Sanga and then we'll leave."

"Your tab is paid up," Alistair said.

"Thank you. I will repay you for my not inconsiderable bill."

"No need," Alistair said. "Let's just go back to the palace."

Emma took Zevran's hand in his. "I'm sorry I was such a shrew."

"Esperanza, you had every right to be wroth with me."

"Nonetheless–"

Zevran put a finger to her lips. "Not another word. No, apologies, si?

Emma nodded. "Si."

Once at the palace, Zevran did not want to go near the bedroom he and Surana had shared. "Zev, we have two bedrooms in this apartment; go lay down and rest. Emma or I can wake you when it's lunchtime."

Zevran agreed and was dead to the world as soon as his head hit the pillow.

Emma was curled up on the chaise with Alistair talking when an urgent knock sounded at the main door. Alistair answered it and as soon as Emma heard Alis she knew something was seriously wrong and went to the door.

"First Enchanter, Fergus Cousland's arrived at the palace, he's injured, and Senior Enchanter Wynne says he is beyond her abilities. They are in the Cousland apartments."

"Lead the way." Alistair was about to follow, so Emma turned back. "Ali, could you leave a note for Zev first, let him know we didn't abandon him?"

Alistair nodded.

Emmalynn followed Alis. "Aedan's brother is alive?"

"Yes, he has been staying with the Chasind after recovering from injuries he obtained while scouting in the Wilds. A month ago, he left the Chasind village with his scout and a group of Chasind warriors. They were taken by surprise and Lord Cousland was injured."

"Why does Wynne think this is beyond her?"

"It's possible he may have been tainted."

"You don't agree?"

"I think she's right that he might have been tainted, but Arl Eamon is there and I believe that Senior Enchanter Wynne thinks there is safety in numbers."

"Advice?"

"No. I am quite sure you will know exactly what to do when we get there."

Emma entered the chambers and then the bedroom, where Wynne, Loghain, Leonas, Eamon, and Aedan were all standing around the bed.

Wynne looked at Emmalynn. "Thank the Maker you're here. The wound is on his left side."

As Alis predicted Emmalynn knew exactly what to do. "Everyone except Wynne and Aedan needs to leave or move out of the way." Emma's tone was all business.

Loghain and Leonas left the room but Eamon stayed. He was standing on the same side of the bed as Aedan, which was the same side as Fergus' wound.

"I cannot get to the wound unless one of you moves. Eamon, unless you're a Cousland you need to move."

Aedan looked at Eamon. "Please."

The Arl grumbled something about not trusting the mage, but he moved even though he did not leave.

Emma saw the tendrils the taint in the wound, but it had not spread. I need to make that wound bleed and flush out the taint. He has a healed chest wound, but the scarring is not allowing full expansion of lungs, leading to severe congestion. She considered. Taint first.

Emma grabbed a blanket from the bed and placed it under the wound, tucking it under Fergus. Aedan saw what she was doing and helped. Once the blanket was in place, Emmalynn's aura flared. She placed one hand over this heart and slowly increased his blood pressure just enough to increase the blood flow from the wound, taking the taint with it.

Eamon saw the rush of blood and yelled, "Aedan! She's trying to kill him!"

Wynne tried to reason with him. "Arl Eamon, she is trying to clear the wound of the taint."

Eamon was about to move towards Emmalynn, when Alistair – who had just arrived in the bedroom – grabbed the Arl and physically pulled him out of the room.

Completely unaware of anything save her patient, Emmalynn carefully monitored the blood flow and signs of the taint. When the blood ran clean Emma slowly brought down his blood pressure, tugged the soaked blanket away and told Aedan, "Take it and burn it."

Aedan obeyed without question. Emma healed and closed the wound. The chest wound needed to be re-opened so she could clear out the infected lungs. It was a laborious process. Once the lungs were cleaned, Fergus' color improved quickly. She closed off the chest wound leaving no scar. The Teyrn of Highever was breathing easily.

Emmalynn healed muscles made weak and helped Fergus' lungs fully expand. Her aura faded and she told Aedan, "The scaring of the healed chest wound seriously impinged his ability to breathe. He should be fine now.

"He's asleep and will be for another few hours. When he wakes up, get him walking and make him take deep breaths, then feed him. Let me know if anything seems off. I will check on him just before I leave for the pyre."

Aedan looked like the weight of the world was lifted from his shoulders, and he sat on the edge of the bed, exhausted. "Maker, Emma, you are amazing. Thank you. I thought he was going to die. To find him and then lose him again…I don't know what I would have done."

Emma's smile was tremulous. "Well, you won't have to find out. I'm glad you have your brother back. Your family has been torn apart in the worst way."

"Emmalynn?"

She knew what he was going to say and held up her hand. "Aedan, don't. The decision was made. I understand. I don't question it. I…I wish I had known before. I like to think I'm a reasonable person, but perhaps I'm wrong – otherwise you, Rana, Riordan or Jowan would have told me. I guess I need to work on that. Now I am going to go clean up and change. I will probably burn these clothes in case of the taint."

On her way out of the apartments she updated Leonas, Loghain, and Wynne then asked, "Where is Arl Eamon?"

Loghain informed her, with a slightly smug look, "I believe Alistair and Eamon are having an…audience with the Queen."

"Alistair? Hmm. Well I need to go back to our chambers."

"Emmalynn," Leonas had removed his cloak, "please put this on this before you go walking through the castle."

Emmalynn blushed, then curtsied. "Thank you, Arl Leonas. I…didn't mean to be disrespectful. I…ah…must look a sight right now. I don't want to ruin your cloak though."

"You wouldn't have been disrespectful, my dear. I only figured you would be more comfortable. Don't worry about damaging the cloak."

"Thank you for your kindness, my Lord Arl." Emmalynn curtsied again and left.

Wynne smiled affectionately at her former mentee. "Sometimes it's easy to forget she is only 19 summers."

Leonas looked a bit surprised. "She is only four years older than Habren? Maker's sake."

~oOOo~

Alistair arrived at their rooms at the same time as Emma. When they entered the apartments, a bath was waiting. "Did you order the bath, Ali?"

"No."

"Alis." They said at the same time.

Alistair did not join her in the bathtub – as much as he wanted to– but sat next to her

"Ali, what happened with Eamon? Loghain said you and the Arl were having an audience with the Queen? Loghain seemed rather smug about it."

Alistair chuckled, "Loghain enjoyed seeing Eamon on the short end of the stick. Finish your bath and I'll tell you. Lunch should be arriving soon."

Emmalynn finished her bath. She quickly dressed when the scent of lamb stew and fresh bread wafted into the bedroom. I should wake Zevran."

It turned out she didn't have to as Zevran and Alistair were already sitting at the table waiting for Emma. Alistair had been explaining where he and Emma had gone.

"Emma had just increased Fergus' blood flow and Eamon lost it."

Zevran saw Emmalynn first. "Esperanza, I understand your healing of Aedan's brother upset the Arl. "

Emma sat down at the table and placed the napkin on her lap as Alistair filled her bowl with the mouthwatering stew. "I guess so, but I didn't notice. Ali what happened?"

Alistair recounted what happened after seeing Eamon saw the increased blood flow…

…

Eamon saw the rush of blood and yelled, "Aedan! She's trying to kill him!"

Wynne tried to reason with him, "Arl Eamon, she is trying to clear the wound of the taint."

Eamon was about to move towards Emmalynn, when Alistair – who had just arrived in the bedroom – grabbed the Arl and physically pulled him out of the room. "Teyrn Loghain, please find a castle guard-captain."

Loghain nodded.

"Alistair, unhand me!"

"No! You were about to interfere with a healer and her patient, a patient who happens to be the Teyrn of Highever. I am sick and tired of your constant haranguing of Emma. I am tired of your repeated attempts to involve yourself in matters that are none of your business. You've bribed a grand cleric; you've worked with the Duke of Lydes and one of Celine's bards to try to push Anora off the throne. You are lucky that you haven't been tried for treason."

Loghain returned with one of the captains of the Royal Guard.

"Captain…?"

"James, Ser."

"Captain James, please guard Arl Guerrin until I return. He is under suspicion of trying to harm the Teyrn of Highever."

Eamon sputtered, "You lie! You have no right."

"Wrong, Eamon! I am acting in my capacity as a Knight of the Realm – I have every right."

Alistair found the Chancellor in his office. "My Lord Chancellor?"

"Ser Alistair, what can I do for you?"

Alistair explained what had happened. The Chancellor stood up. "Maker sake, when will that man stop? The Queen is in her study reading some damage reports and preparing for the Landsmeet. Come with me."

The Chancellor knocked on the door of Anora's study. He looked at Alistair. "Give me a moment."

Alistair only had to wait for a minute or two when he was summoned into the study. He bowed. "Your Majesty."

"Did Eamon really say that Emma was trying to kill Fergus?"

Alistair nodded. "He was an obstructionist as soon as Emma entered the room. She was clearing the taint from Fergus' wound. Your Majesty, I am at a loss as to how to deal with Eamon. Emmalynn is my betrothed and she is carrying our child. I hoped that after the Landsmeet and the battle he would calm down, but honestly his behavior worries me."

Anora sighed and shook her head. "Well, I can do one thing right now." She looked to her Chancellor. "I want him out of the palace. He is not to return until the Landsmeet tomorrow. Next, I want to convene an emergency meeting and hour after Sext with the Grand Cleric, and Arl Bryland, Arl Wulff, Teyrn Loghain, and Banns Sighard and Alfstanna. Alistair, I want you at this meeting too."

"Then I will see you after lunch your Majesty."

… …

Emma shook her head. "is it wrong of me to feel bad because I missed seeing Eamon being kicked out of the palace?"

"I wouldn't think so. But if it is, then I am positively evil for wishing I could have actually kicked him."

Zevran raised his glass. "Alistair, you took the words out of my mouth."

After lunch Zevran decided to check out the palace armory, having been told about it by Aedan.

Alistair admonishing Emma to rest left for the meeting; he saw Alis was standing a few feet from the door. "Don't worry, Ser Alistair; unless something happens with Lord Fergus, the First Enchanter will not be disturbed."

"Do you have a sign I can put on the door?" Alistair smiled.

"I have one better. A note signed by Her Majesty that is to be given to the guards at the entrance to this wing." She handed the note to Alistair.

By Order of Her Majesty, Queen Anora. Aside from servants you are to restrict access to the First Enchanter unless there is a problem with Teyrn Fergus' health that cannot be solved by either Senior Enchanter Wynne or Enchanter Alis.

"You're a gem, Alis. Shall we present these orders to the Guards?"

~oOOo~

Anora, Grand Cleric Dorothea, Alistair, Loghain, Arl Wulff, and Arl Leonas were gathered in the Queen's study.

"I have updated Grand Cleric Dorothea. We all know what happened with Eamon, and I would like to make an offer to our obnoxious Arl of Redcliffe.

"He can step down in favor of Teagan and quietly retire or I expose his deeds to the Landsmeet, strip him of his Arling, and exile him from Ferelden. If he doesn't like either of those options then I will bring charges of treason against him at the Landsmeet where he will face death if convicted - and with the evidence I have he will be convicted."

The Grand Cleric nodded. "Indeed, the evidence against Arl Eamon can be corroborated in any number of ways."

"Thoughts?" Anora asked.

Leonas shook his head. "I really don't think that Eamon has given us any choice."

"As we are in agreement, I will meet with the Arl prior to the Landsmeet. Alistair, thank you for bringing this to my attention and I am sorry that Eamon has been so…"

"Disrespectful," Wulff said.

"Dastardly," Leonas offered.

"Despicable," Loghain added.

Alistair couldn't help but chuckle. "Emma and I appreciate everyone's support."

Once Alistair had left, Anora waited a minute or so then said, "I have additional business I would like to discuss. I have been thinking about what to do about Amaranthine. I was able to contact Delilah Howe who is married to a merchant in the city. Neither she nor her husband want anything to do with running the Arling.

"Nathaniel was sent to the League almost a decade ago. Delilah reestablished contact with him and told him about what their father had done. He decided to stay in the Marches and wrote her that 'Her Majesty would do well to burn the Vigil to the ground for all he cared' and that the place is 'permanently stained by my father's evil.' Also, it appears that Bann Esmerelle is a thoroughly corrupt crony of Rendon's. But there is no proof.

"Barring an objection from Fergus, I would like to dissolve the Arling. The area north of the Vigil that includes the city of Amaranthine would belong to Highever and Teyrn Fergus would hold Esmerelle's fealty. From the Vigil south would become part of the Arling of Denerim. I would like to give the Vigil to the Wardens."

Wulff spoke up. "The idea has merit as the Arling of Amaranthine was part of Highever. Without the governance level of the Arling, Highever has more direct control of a valuable port city and while that might seem like a power grab it is balanced by giving half of the Arling to Denerim."

"Much would depend upon who becomes the Arl of Denerim," Leonas said.

Wulff, Sighard, Alfstanna, and Loghain all exchanged looks then nodded to Leonas.

Anora watched. "I take it you all have a suggestion?"

~oOOo~

Aedan was sleeping on the chaise in his brother's bedroom. He felt something nudge his foot, but he decided he'd rather stay asleep for a little longer.

"Hey Slug-a-bed! Wake up!"

At the sound of the familiar voice and the fondly remembered nickname, Aedan's eyes flew open. Fergus stood in front of him. "Ferg! You're awake?"

Fergus' tone was playfully sarcastic. "No, I often stand up and speak when I'm asleep."

Aedan stood up and hugged his brother. Both men – now teary-eyed – embraced. When Fergus pulled back, he asked, "So how is it that I am completely healed?"

"Well, it is kind of a long story."

"I appear to have some time."

~oOOo~

Riordan and Surana's bodies lay in repose at the Chantry. Emmalynn and Zevran wanted to have a chance to see Surana and pay their respects to Riordan before people gathered for the service and pyre.

Hand and hand, they approached Surana's bier. Those who didn't know the elven mage would think he looked to be sleeping. Not to Emma and Zevran. To them, the facial expression lacked the small smile he always wore when asleep. Surana hated sleeping on his back, saying that pillows and blankets were meant for curling up in, and Zevran remembered that his lover always liked to cuddle at night.

No, to Zevran and Emmalynn, the body before them did not look asleep – it a was just a mortal shell that was no longer animated by the soul of the man they both loved. That knowledge brought both hurt and comfort.

It hurt to reminded of the many little things they would miss – anytime Emmalynn heard "Em' she knew it would be E-m not M, and Zevran would miss hearing Surana's seductive chuckle.

There was comfort in knowing that his soul was at the Makers side. That he would be waiting for them when it was their time to leave their mortal bodies.

Surana had also left a gift for Emmalynn and Zevran, one neither had really had – a loving family. Because of Surana, Emmalynn had a brother-in-law and Zevran, a sister-in-law. Together they carried memories of the brother, the husband, and the loyal friend. Emma and Zevran took comfort in that and both felt stronger for it.

~oOOo~

After the service and pyre, Emma gathered Rana's ashes in a large pouch. She reserved two pinches and put them in a small pouch. She took the large pouch to Aedan. "Here, now the wardens will have something to take back to Weisshaupt and can entomb him next to the other Warden Garahel."

"That was Surana's first name?" Aedan was stunned.

Emma grinned. "Yep. For a long time only me, the First Enchanter, and the Knight-Commander knew."

"Emma, Surana left this note for Zevran. I haven't had a chance to give it to him. Could you?"

"Of course." Emmalynn took the scroll.

Later that night, Emmalynn, Alistair, and Zevran were in their apartments after having a late dinner. Emmalynn gathered some things from the study and came out. "Zevran, give me your hand."

He held it out to her. She held it, gently placing a pouch in the palm of his hand and then curling his fingers around it.

"Qui?"

"The pouch has some of Rana's ashes and his warden pendant, which carries a drop of his blood from when he joined. Also, Rana left you this letter."

"Thank you Cariña. Would you both stay while I read it?"

"Of course," Alistair and Emma agreed.

Zevran unrolled the parchment, tears prickling his eyes as he the familiar handwriting.

~o~o~

Mi amor,

While I write this, I am also watching you as you sleep, naked, warm, and thoroughly satisfied. This is the hardest letter I've ever had to write, and I know it will be painful for you to read.

You made me believe true love was possible, because I found that with you. Know that if there was any other way to protect everyone from whatever threat Weisshaupt could pose, I would have taken it.

I can't let Aedan make the kill. If I do and Fergus is dead then the Couslands will be no more and Aedan's death will have completed Howe's treachery, if only posthumously. If Fergus is still alive then he will have lost his whole family. I could not have lived with myself and the guilt would have ruined me, ruined us…even so, it was close thing. I never wanted to leave your side. I love you, but as you once said, fate is a tricky whore.

I know your first reaction will be to lose yourself in alcohol and nameless sex, and if so, I am quite sure it was M who found you and I hope she kicked your arse (yes, M is quite capable of getting angry).

However, my biggest fear is that you when you do emerge, you will take on some damned suicide mission to get back at the Crows or bury who you are and become the cold assassin you seem to believe you are meant to be.

You are not that assassin. You never were.

I hope you and stay in Ferelden, that you and M can help each other and support each other.

All my love,

Surana

~o~o~

"Ah, my Surana knew me so well. Esperanza, you saw him in the Fade?"

"Yes, that's when I learned of this scheme. He said he told you that morning."

"He did, and he gave me little time to argue. It seems he gave you even less." Zevran shook his head sadly. Then, seeming to gather himself, he grinned. "Alright, Alistair, tell me about Anora's plans for Arl Eamon."

AN: Thank you for all who are reading and to Melysande and Judy for your reviews, and to my Beta ElyssaCousland. The next chapter we see what happens to Arl Eamon.