(Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or its characters. This is just for fun.)
Chapter 6 - Mandatory Training
Squall stared angrily at his laptop screen, and his screen stared back at him. He normally didn't have to bring work home with him, but tonight was different.
"Welcome to Phoenix's Sexual Harassment Module," it had printed at the top of the screen in big blue-green letters.
He couldn't believe he had to take a refresher course on the company's sexual harassment policy because of what happened earlier in the week with Rinoa. Everyone had to sit through a sexual harassment seminar from time to time, but it was as a group and part of ongoing training. He'd never been singled out because of an incident. Seifer had, and so had Irvine, but never Squall. And he had to take it on his own time and in his own home.
It wasn't fair.
If, and that was a big if, there had been a sexual harassment incident at work, he would have been the victim. Rinoa clearly was the aggressor in the situation. Not that he felt she'd done what she'd done on purpose. Although how she managed to spill hot coffee on his crotch and halfway rip off his shirt without doing it on purpose, he didn't know. That took some talent.
What had she been thinking when she was wrestling with him? Maybe she wasn't thinking at all. Squall tended to over think things, and maybe that wasn't always a bad thing. Squall surely wouldn't have tried to rip off her shirt in the break room, not that required serious thinking on his part.
Rinoa. She certainly was different than him. She was different than a lot of people. Why did she vacillate between being timid and unsure and being bold and argumentative? Who was this strange person?
Even though the situation was odd, he was pretty sure there hadn't been any sexual misconduct intended on her part.
Although, if she wanted to sexually harass him, how much worse would it have been? He supposed that she could have actually made contact with his crotch if he hadn't blocked her. But still, that was a thoughtless action from a sudden accident. What would she have done if she really wanted to harass him?
He tried to imagine, but made himself stop. This wasn't a good use of his time. And he didn't have to imagine, there was always next week, and who knew what she'd do then? She'd only been at Phoenix for a few days. If she stayed for much longer, Squall had a feeling a lot more funny business was going to be happening.
He sighed and raked his hands through his hair. A few days? He couldn't believe it had only been a few days. Not even a week, and now he couldn't even remember what the office was like without her. He used to be able to go to work and come home without incident, and now something was always happening. It was frustrating. She was frustrating.
He didn't think he'd be so distracted by a woman. It wasn't like there weren't woman at the office already. And the woman there weren't unattractive. With her poise, figure, and long blonde hair, Quistis could be a model. She could literally be in ads for high end department stores. Squall could imagine her in a stylized back and white advertisement that you wouldn't even know what it was for. It would be mysterious and expensive. Or at the very least, she could be a local beauty queen. Quistis was beautiful, talented, and special. Squall didn't know how she wound up at their little company when she could be destined for greater things.
And Quistis wasn't the only woman at work either. There was Selphie, and Squall figured that she was somewhat okay, in a girl next door sort of way. She'd probably seem more than okay if she didn't stand too close to Quistis, but that was her bad luck to be in such close proximity to a total knock out. And speaking of Selphie's bad luck, her hairstyle was regrettably distinctive. Her upcurled and flouncy hair made her seem comical, quirky, and pixie-ish, and therefore it was hard to take her seriously. Squall didn't know if she wanted to be taken seriously, but he was sure she didn't want to be the punch line for any of Seifer's mean jokes. But odd hairstyles aside, she had a cute enough face and very nice legs considering how short she was. He didn't know how somebody who was that small could appear to have such long slim legs. He didn't mean to look at her legs, but her skirts were on the revealing side. It would have been impossible to not notice. He was a man after all.
A disgusting man, Squall thought to himself. He suddenly realized that he was rating the woman at work. He was filled with distaste for himself. He was turning into Seifer. Or maybe deep down, he was always like Seifer. Maybe he was just better at hiding his less savory side instead of broadcasting it. Maybe I DO need to take this sexual harassment course, he thought.
But his point was that he'd seen women. Cute ones. Attractive ones. Short ones. Tall ones. Why was Rinoa upsetting his world when the others hadn't? How was she distracting him so much?
It had to be more than physical attraction. If she was just a pretty face, he'd steer clear of her from now on. It wouldn't be worth the irritation. But for some reason he couldn't stop thinking about her. Why? He was feeling like a infatuated teenager. And that didn't make sense. He didn't even feel that way when he was an actual teen.
What was wrong with him that he was attracted to a disaster like Rinoa?
Why couldn't he be attracted to somebody like Quistis? They had more in common. They both worked hard and were good at their jobs. And if Squall hadn't been imagining things, he didn't think Quistis would be repulsed by him. It would make more sense.
Or better yet, why couldn't he just be attracted to nobody at all. That way he could just go about his business without all these ups and downs. He could live a safe and predictable life. That's what he wanted, wasn't it?
Safe and predictable? Squall imagined a safe and predictable life. He would live like a reclusive bachelor until he died. He'd would pour his life into a job and be given nothing but a paycheck in return. The day after he retired or dropped dead from a heart attack, he'd be replaced by a nameless and faceless younger person, forgotten and mourned by nobody.
That life sounded boring at best and tragic at worst.
What did Squall want out of life?
He didn't know.
He didn't know anything.
His brain puttered to a standstill. Eyes staring. Body immobilized. Time seemed to go on without him.
His eyelid twitched and he suddenly came to his senses. He realized he was staring at his glowing laptop screen. He looked down at his hand where it was curved around the mouse still. Had he been sitting there for seconds? Had he been sitting there for minutes?
He looked up and noticed that the Sexual Harassment Module was waiting for him. He took a deep breath and knew that it wasn't going to complete itself, life crisis or not. He just wanted to get it over with and report back to Quistis. That was a concrete goal he could achieve tonight.
He clicked on the opening video.
A man in a suit started explaining what sexual harassment was and how to avoid it. Squall only half paid attention as there wasn't anything in the video that any decent human being would construe as anything but sexual harassment. He was also distracted by the man's dated looking clothes and hairstyle.
This video was old, but not that old. The man's look was a testament to the fact that time doesn't stand still. It forever marches forward, thus making his haircut look more regrettable every year. Squall's mind wandered. He wondered if his own clothes would look stupid in only a few years time. Would he look at old photos of himself and laugh?
He didn't usually take photos of himself, so the chances of that were slim.
Squall suddenly realized that the man had finally stopped talking. The dry lecture was over. Now he just had to sit through a series of scenarios that were going to be acted out.
Squall wondered how embarrassing these scenarios were going to be. Sexual harassment was a serious and uncomfortable subject. Were they going to be adult, graphic, or lewd?
The video started. It showed a generic workplace setting. Squall waited for something to happen and cringed in awkward anticipation.
His eyebrows raised as some people in low quality moogle and chocobo costumes walked out.
This hadn't been what he'd been expecting.
The chocobos had ties on, and the moogle had a big pink bow on top of her head. He imagined that meant the chocobos were male and the moogle was female. He felt this setup seemed more suited for children's programming and not a sexual harassment training video. Squall wondered if they were trying to make the scenes more palatable by using cute characters.
Squall's eyebrows knit together as the scene progressed. What were they saying? He wasn't listening. He still couldn't get over the fact that he was watching moogles and chocobos in a sexual harassment video.
Suddenly a chocobo reached out and patted the female moogle on the butt. The moogle covered her face with her overly huge paws and wiggled from side to side in exaggerated embarrassment. Squall's mouth fell open.
What were they thinking?
Sometimes he felt like he was all alone in the world. The sole sane person left on the planet.
Firstly, he felt that cutesy scene just trivialized sexual harassment. He felt that was the opposite of what they were trying to do. Sexual harassment was a serious subject and it shouldn't be taken lightly. Secondly, why would chocobos be attracted to moogles? They were different species! This bothered Squall more than it should have.
Squall really hoped they didn't have a company training video concerning racism.
Another scene started. The two chocobos were talking about their weekend beside a water cooler, their voices were muffled through their costumes. The female moogle walked by. The chocobos stared after her and started talking in veiled tones about things they could do with the moogle. The moogle's posture changed and she walked away uncomfortably. Squall was alone in his apartment but he pushed away from his computer and looked over his shoulder to see if anybody was watching him.
Why'd he feel like the guilty one? The chocobos were the ones being inappropriate. Was this thing over yet? Hadn't he been punished enough?
The things he'd endure for Rinoa!
At the end of the scene, a narrator said that this constituted sexual harassment in the workplace.
Really? Thanks for enlightening me, Squall thought.
The whole video rankled Squall's sensibilities. And not only because it assumed he was an idiot, but also because of the poorly acted scenarios. Maybe he could have avoided this cutesy moogle/chocobo fueled humiliation if he'd just explained what had really happened to Quistis. He could have walked right up to her in the break room while still covered in coffee stains and said what had happened. She wouldn't have had time to imagine the worst scenarios possible.
But he didn't even try, and his silence condemned him.
He knew how bad it looked when she and had walked in. Rinoa running away from him with tears in her eyes while he had his shirt half off. And he couldn't explain it without making Rinoa look bad, so he'd decided to shut his mouth and take whatever Quistis dished out. Rinoa was still pretty new at the company and he didn't want her getting fired. Not that he thought that was a fireable offense, but who knew what other screw ups she'd be doing in this coming week alone? He didn't want her to have a huge tally of missteps against her.
He didn't want her to get fired. He didn't want her to leave. He could deal with this stupid sexual harassment refresher.
The terrible chocobo/moogle video finished and he had a slideshow of randomly generated questions pop up suddenly. They were about knowing what appropriate behavior in the workplace was. He had to click on whether an action was 'okay' or not for a workplace. Squall figured that all the scenarios would be painfully obvious.
He figured it was time to get started, at least it would be something to do and it didn't involve any stupid chocobos. He clicked to start.
"Saying hello to a coworker," it stated.
I guess they are starting off very easy, he thought.
He clicked on "okay."
I can't believe I have to do this, he thought while drumming his fingertips on the edge of his laptop.
"Saying happy birthday to a coworker."
I wouldn't say it, but it's okay.
He clicked on "okay," with a fast tap of his finger.
"Talking about the weather with a coworker."
This is stupid.
He clicked on "okay." His brain started to turn off.
"Talking about sports with a coworker."
He clicked on "okay."
"Talking about weekend sexual exploits with a coworker."
He clicked on "okay."
WAIT! No! Undo! Undo! Is there an undo button? he thought frantically. That escalated too quickly and he hadn't been paying attention. He'd just lightly skimmed it and only saw the talking about the weekend part.
The screen flashed red to let him know he'd selected the wrong answer. A little box popped up to tell him that it was not okay to talk about sexual exploits with a coworker. It said that it counted as sexual harassment and is banned. The workplace setting should be free of conversations containing that sort of content because it makes a hostile environment.
Squall shook his hair over his face and sighed. He felt like an idiot. He'd never do something like that in a workplace or anywhere in public, and let's face it, he probably wouldn't do that in private with friends either. Who would do that and think it was okay?
He immediately envisioned Seifer's smirking face and Irvine's sly grins. Okay, maybe they would, but he definitely wouldn't. He grew irritated at his mistake, but all he could do at this point was to proceed with the module and try to pay better attention to the questions. Onward to finishing this thing!
"Asking what exercises a coworker does to keep his/her body in such great shape."
He clicked on "NOT OKAY," with a great deal of force to make his point, not that anybody was at home to see. He lifted his chin and stared at the screen in a challenge. Let's just see if this thing will try to trick him again. He would make sure his mind stayed cautious to the end.
"Talking about sexual positions with a coworker," it stated, waiting for him to make a judgment call.
Seriously?
"NOT OKAY," he selected with a click. "NOT OKAY," he said out loud to nobody. "I know damn well that's NOT OKAY!" he said irritably, still embarrassed by his earlier mistake. He was the sort of person to wallow in his mistakes, and that's why he tried so hard not to make them in the first place. It was a sort of self-protection. He'd be up at night thinking of this, and probably years in the future he'd remember it again with irritation. Were other people bothered by their mistakes as much as he was? Probably not.
Squall pushed away from his laptop and ran his hands over his face. This stupid thing was making him crazy. Was Quistis going to see that he'd made a mistake like that? He didn't want to go in for more sexual harassment training. He could just imagine what that would be like. She would probably make it a one-on-one session alone in her office. She could teach everybody a thing or two about sexual harassment.
He envisioned himself alone in Quistis' office with her. She sat on the edge of her desk towering over where he sat with her lip twitching with a look of disapproval or maybe disappointment. She stood up and smoothed her hands over the hem of her deep coral pencil skirt while walking towards him. She leaned over him, her blond hair falling out of her clip brushing over her fitted white shirt and then brushing over his shoulders. He turned his head to the side at the proximity of her, so he wouldn't see down her shirt. He could just imagine her asking, "does this count as sexual harassment Squall?" in his ear.
He shuddered at the discomfort of a scenario with his boss that had NOT even occurred. Although he figured given the right set of circumstances, it could. And probably would if she'd been drinking. But why would she be drinking in her office at night before giving him a sexual harassment training session?
Alone? At night?
He scrubbed his hand through his hair furiously.
This stupid thing was making him think of sex too much!
Why was he becoming so imaginative lately? And why was he envisioning this in such great detail if he thought he'd be repulsed by it? He was glad Quistis couldn't read his mind, not in the office and certainly not now. His thoughts would probably count as sexual harassment against her. But that's why he'd never tell anybody. Although in contrast, this was the sort of thing that Seifer would say out loud and to everybody. Squall hoped nobody ever found out that he had any little thing in common with Seifer. He'd keep it a secret.
Squall Leonhart, secret pervert.
He hurried and tried to finish the rest of the training module, but he was careful to not make any more mistakes. Within a few minutes he was nearing the end. He only had to sit through a few more chocobo/moogle scenarios.
In one of the scenarios, a moogle was wearing a tight fitting short dress and the chocobos were making crude comments about her appearance. It was one of the 'do not do this' sort of scenarios.
It was particularly funny to Squall because in all the previous scenarios, the moogle had been wearing nothing, just like the chocobos. Were they all suppose to be naked? Either way, Squall 'learned' his lesson that it wasn't right to comment about a coworker's sexy or not sexy appearance.
Thanks a lot moogles and chocobos.
He hoped it was almost over.
"Remember sexual harassment begins and ends with you," the chocobos and moogles sang while waving jazz hands and dancing enthusiastically for 20 seconds before fading to black. Cheap midi music began playing while the credits rolled.
Squall didn't think that made much sense, but he was relieved that it was finally over. He looked at the clock in the bottom right of his computer screen. It had taken him nearly an hour! What a waste of time. And he wasn't a sexual harasser who need to learn his lesson.
If anybody should have taken this module, it should have been Rinoa. One reason was because she was new, and it would be required of her eventually if she stayed. Another reason was because she tried to take his shirt off and got overly close to the crotch of his pants with a ball of wet paper towels.
Trying to blot a coworker's pants with a ball of wet paper towels. NOT OKAY.
Squall smirked at the memory. He'd been flustered and angry when it had happened, not to mention the pain of burning hot liquid against his skin, but now the whole ordeal was starting to seem kind of funny. Was she really going to try to get the stain off of the front of his pants? What was she thinking? Or maybe she was going to try and wrangle him out of his pants in the break room? Better turn his imagination off now before it ran away with him again.
He let out a dry laugh. The new girl was different, that was for sure. And the look of shock and horror on her face when she'd realized what she was doing was ridiculous. Her pretty face had flushed so quickly, she'd nearly turned purple and lost her balance. Her deep colored eyes turned glassy with tears. He felt a little bad about being so amused by it. The smile faded from his face.
If he'd been embarrassed by it, he wondered what she felt about it. Was she thinking of it at all? Was she thinking of him?
He cleared his throat and swallowed, suddenly insecure and shy despite being alone.
He straightened up quickly, deciding that it was late and he should get to bed. He reasoned that he needed his rest in order to function at work the next day. He pushed his laptop away from himself and went towards his bedroom, dragging his feet.
Hours later, he lay in bed looking up at the dark ceiling. Sleep still hadn't come to him. He'd tossed and turned, switching from his back to his sides countless times over the past few hours. The bedsprings creaked with every movement, whining their complaints.
He couldn't stop thinking about the state of his life. What was he doing with himself? What was the point of it all? Was he on the right track? Was he doing well? Did people like or respect him? Should he even care what other people thought?
While he was filled with his usual existential dread that often kept him up at night, interspersed throughout those anxieties were thoughts of Rinoa. He thought of her beautiful face and somewhat goofy smile. He thought of her soft dark hair and her kind demeanor towards others. He also thought of her ridiculous and pushy attitude that came out of nowhere sometimes. Overall, she was a mixed bag. But what he mostly was thinking of, was that it was her fault that he couldn't stop thinking about chocobos and moogles at 3 am.
He closed his eyes tightly and wished he could just turn his brain off and let sleep take him.
He was going to be a mess at work tomorrow.
Author's notes: Some of these horrible scenarios and questions were based on real life occurrences, sadly. Poor Squall! Please read & review.