Daughter of Tethras

Disclaimer: Don't own Dragon Age

A/N:

Chapter 41 (An Understanding Friend)

Varric and Bianca sat together on the couch in her bedroom, staring without purpose at the bed before them. Her head was nested on his shoulder and his hand gently pat her upper arm. "Thank you for understanding," she said after what felt like an eternity of silence.

"Thank you for telling me. It is a lot to process, but it's okay." The main thing was that he wasn't angry. She was confused about the whole situation with Lantos and needed him to be understanding. "So the whole thing with the dragon back at Haven, when I was knocked out and pulled back to Skyhold…"

"Him."

"He's also the one that let Solas and myself know Corypheus was on his way."

"He said he'd been watching out for us all this time." She pulled her feet up to the couch and wrapped her arms around her legs to pull her knees against her chest. "I don't know what to feel, or how to react. He said he wanted me to be happy, to be with you. He said that before, he did love me, but the abuse? What was that? Was that pushing me away?"

"Maybe, maybe not." He gave her a gentle squeeze and she raised her eyes towards him. "If I've learned anything, it's that we should move on from the past the best we can, because if we're stuck there, we become prisoners of our own devices."

"I thought you stayed with mom through all these years." Granted much of the time was forced, she understood this just fine. It would have been hard for him to leave Davri, not knowing if he'd ever see his kid again. "What happened when we met? When we talked up there on the Winter Palace?"

"I told your mother she couldn't keep me locked anymore, that you were in my life and I could move on." He looked sideways and chuckled softly. "If only it were easy enough that she might understand what 'over' means."

"She doesn't want to let you go. Lantos said he was letting me go. I guess that's a difference, right?"

"Certainly." Varric's shoulders fell as an exhale left his lips like a gentle wind. "It's all going to be over soon. Solas tells me when we take our leave with Hawke and Isabela, we'll have to put the past behind us."

It was becoming difficult enough to do so. After what she'd just done, it was much harder. She could still feel him inside her, and no amount of guilt over this possibly hurting Harding made her crave that sensation again. "Dad? Can I ask something?"

Varric smiled warmly and squeezed her gently. "Anything." Her eyes dropped to the floor and she took a slow and trembling breath. Varric twisted towards her and furrowed his brow. "What's on your mind?"

"I know how Harding felt about Lantos, and they recently separated, and I feel bad knowing that what happened between the two of us would hurt her…" She raised her head up and felt a sharp ache in her chest. "I don't regret what happened. Is that-" Her hands folded in her lap and she shook her head. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"Well." He pulled his hand away and moved it towards his chin, curling his finger just beneath his lip. "No, I wouldn't say you're a bad person because of it. I'm sure you had you reason, and you didn't do it with the intention of hurting a friend."

"He reminded me of the man he was when we were first together, of the man I fell for. I think I just…missed that." She closed her eyes and slid her arms around her body, holding herself as a warm, calm feeling swept across her. "When we were first together, he made me feel wanted, he kept the Carta from doing to me what they do to all their women, and he loved me."

"What changed?"

"The carta. Aaron. Aaron tried to corrupt him, to destroy him-to tear us apart. He all but succeeded." She pushed her hand through her hair and stood slowly from the couch. "I think seeing that side of Lantos again-knowing he still cared for me, knowing that he'd been protecting me-protecting you even." Her muscles tensed and her voice grew swift and filled with a rushed breath. "I…I don't know."

Varric stood up and looked into her eyes with a tender stare that allowed her to relax. "I understand." He placed a firm hand on her shoulder and the corners of his mouth slid to the back of his cheeks. "You'll still want to talk to Harding. She may not want to hear your reasoning, but make this right. She knows your history with him, so if anything, she may be more understanding. Don't be afraid to talk to her, okay?"

"Easy for you to say." Varric smirked and Bianca dropped her head with an exhausted sigh. "I'll try. I don't know what I'm going to tell her." She wasn't going to make excuses or try to justify sleeping with Lantos by coming up with reasons, she just wanted Harding to know that she didn't do so with the intent of malice. "I just hope she doesn't hate me."

"I'm sure she won't."

Trying to find Harding was like trying to find a small object whilst stumbling through the dark, and with each person she asked that didn't know where Harding was, the greater her anxiety became.

Finally somebody reported seeing the scout climbing a tree outside Skyhold's bridge, so Bianca made her way there as fast as she could.

Harding was in the treetop of the tree on the east side of the bridge, seated in a corner of a slightly upwards angled branch with her legs crossed on top of the branch and her arms folded neatly on her abdomen. The scout cast a somber gaze into the distant sky, and a stream of tears glistened on her cheek.

Bianca approached slowly, biting down on her lip and attempting to swallow the nervous lump in her throat. "Harding?" She placed a hand on the trunk and gazed up to the scout. Her breath caught in her throat, and her chest began to tighten. "Harding, can we talk?"

"You should know my name is Lace-short for Lacey." Harding did not move, and gave the appearance as though her voice had only come from the clouds above. "I guess Lantos didn't tell you that, and neither did I."

"I…" The calmness in the scout's voice was sobering, and to Bianca it sounded as though she were trying not to break down. "Would you like for me to call you Lace, then?" Bianca looked up the tree, checking for small notches that could be used to climb it.

There were several small holes going up the trunk; but big enough for her to sink her fingers into. "I was just thinking. We're friends, so why am I calling you 'Bianca' and you're only referring to me as Scout Harding?" She pulled herself up with a grunt and climbed onto a branch that was sticking out from the side of the tree and to Harding's left.

"Are we still friends, Lacey?"

The silence that answered was startling. A numbness permeated her body, and she started to turn. Bianca watched with baited breath as Harding looked up to the sky. The scout's left thumb circled the surface of her hand.

"Yes." Relief crashed through her veins and forced a swift breath of air from her lungs. Harding turned towards her, still bearing a deep frown and a sad gaze. "Lantos…he came to see me one last time. Once I got away from Leliana."

"Oh…" The fear returned with its icy grip, threatening to crush her with all it's might. "I see." Her eyes dropped to the ground and started to burn. "What did he say?"

"The truth." Her head jerked up with a gasp. Harding reached around the tree and placed a trembling hand onto Bianca's wrist. "It's okay. I'm not mad at you." Her eyes widened and her jaw fell open.

Questions circled her like a poisonous fog, each one she wanted to ask seemed like lighting in that there was no knowing how dangerous they could be. "H-He told you?" She blinked twice and looked back into Harding's eyes. "Then you need to know, I didn't do it out of malice or spite. I just-I don't know exactly what came over me."

"Yeah." Harding pulled her hand away and pushed her back into the tree. Bianca mimicked her posture and peered down to the hands in her lap. Her fingers closed gently and she could feel her blood pumping through her entire body. "You know, Bianca…"

She raised and turned her head, looking at the faint smile Harding had with a bit of surprise. "Lantos talked to me about the whole thing with the Carta and the blood they were making him drink." She furrowed her brow and leaned towards Harding.

"I'm surprised he talked about it."

"He was hooked on it, Bianca. Like Cullen was with lyrium. That's why he became the way he was."

"And you helped him get off that?"

"It was hard to do, but yes." Her heart sank for a moment, but she felt her sorrow being replaced by a strange sense of joy. A smile formed and she decided to keep listening to Harding's tale.

"He was a good man when he wasn't drinking that stuff."

"You see why I can't be angry with you?" Harding turned back to her, gazing happily at her. "We both loved the same man. A man that had been taken from you by the worst kind of people."

Harding raised her hand and pushed it through her hair with a sigh. "I think, I think you needed to see him free from that hold." Bianca's heart flickered for a moment and her eyes dropped to the ground below. "I can't fault you for still feeling what you did, or wanting to be with him once you saw the man he used to be-but he never stopped being that man. I knew he never stopped caring for you. All he ever thought about was protecting you and your father."

"I'm sorry, Lace…"

"Don't be." Harding turned back around, grunting as she shifted into a more comfortable position. "He's gone now, and once we deal with Corypheus, we're leaving Thedas. We'll probably never see him again…there's no sense in wasting our breath being upset, but maybe, maybe we can just talk sometime? When you're ready to, and if it's okay with you…"

"To talk about him?"

"Yes. I don't want this to cause a rift in our friendship, Bianca." Harding tucked a strand of hair over her ear and chuckled. "God knows there have been enough rifts elsewhere."

She laughed and threw a hand over her mouth, letting it hover for just a few seconds before pulling it away.

Almost every rift in Thedas had been closed off now, and once they close the breach for good, the country would be safe from them. "We've done a good thing. Haven't we?"

"Definitely." Bianca rolled back against the trunk and gazed up at the clouds drifting slowly overhead. Her smile grew as a warm, comfortable silence embraced her. She shut her eyes and breathed in slowly, to take it all in.

She was happy that Harding wasn't too upset with her, more so that Lantos had doubled back to tell the girl the truth about what happened. It was unexpected, but a pleasant surprise.

"Hey Bianca?" Harding's voice was so quiet that the wind could almost overpower it. Bianca's head turned partially and her eyes opened halfway. "If you don't mind me asking. How did the two of you meet?"

"He never told you?"

"No. He tried not to talk about his relationship with you too much, since he always said he didn't want to be disrespectful towards me."

"I understand." Her heart swelled as the memory of first meeting Lantos drifted into her mind, giving her a strong sense of serenity.

Her eyes lit up as she thought about the man standing beside Dasher, smirking with a great deal of pride.

"It wasn't anything so elaborate, really." She swept a fallen strand of hair from her face while Harding rolled towards her to listen. "I met him and Dasher together, they were just exploring the area, I guess. I met Lantos first."

Where she was at that point in her life was a dark and horrendous place, she'd come close to giving up numerous times. "On the day they found me, I was sitting next to a tree with…" She stopped for a moment and the smile faded from her face as the darker part of the memory flashed before her. "With an empty noose set up above me." Harding's eyebrows curled together and the girl extended her hand slowly, placing it carefully into Bianca's.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Bianca smiled at the scout and took in another trembling breath. Her heart skipped a beat and she closed her eyes as every muscle in her body relaxed. "He found me and cut the noose before I could do anything, sat and started asking me why I felt like I had to die, and stuff…"

"So he kept you from giving up right there?"

"In a way. I've always admired that he didn't tell me I was wrong, he just sat and talked to me." She raised her shoulders up and started to smile once more. "He asked me if I had anywhere to go, and I said 'no'. After that, he took me to find Dasher, and convinced him that I needed to be with them."

"Lantos must have known how the Carta were, though."

"He did, and so did Dasher. Both of them said they would make sure the Carta left me alone." Harding nodded once and Bianca wiped a tear from her eyelids. Her body started to tense and a sharp ache struck her chest like a knife to the heart. "Aaron, you remember him?"

Harding's eyes narrowed and her lips tightened together. "I couldn't forget that bastard."

"He was the third in command, behind Lantos and beneath Dasher. He couldn't stand that I was 'off-limits', or that…I was with Lan." She closed her arms over her stomach, fighting back the nausea swirling like a storm within her. Harding's eyes started to quiver and the girl tenderly touched Bianca's arm.

"You don't have to."

She leaned her head back against the trunk, and her entire body shook. "Dasher didn't know anything about Aaron, but Lantos did. He watched me like a hawk." Her voice shattered and fresh tears ran down her cheeks as bits of a memory she'd blocked out started to rush forward. "Aaron never got close-until they nearly killed Lantos with those explosives, and when they would spike his food and drink with darkspawn filth…"

Harding crossed over to her branch and put an arm around Bianca's shoulders, holding her tight. Bianca's head was pounding and her throat burned with anger and nausea. "The one time Lan couldn't keep them away, and Dasher had to focus his attention on keeping Lantos alive." Veins bulged from her tightly clenched hands, and her voice was hoarse as a sob cracked from her lips.

Harding shut her eyes and slowly shook her head. "Back at the Emprise, I wondered why Lantos hated Aaron and the Carta so much. I never asked, he probably wouldn't have told me." She hugged Bianca tight and started to whisper. "Bianca, I'm…It wasn't your fault. Nothing you've ever suffered has been your fault. What your mother did, what Marcus and Amelia did, what Aaron and the Carta might have done to you-it's all on them."

She tried to speak, but her words were concealed by the sobs generated from the memories that plagued her now like a cloud of poison. Harding gently pat her on the back and looked down to the castle.

"It'll all be over soon, Bianca. I can see why you hate Thedas so much." They swayed together as though blown by the gentle breeze. Bianca's hand touched over Harding's wrist, grasping it firmly while peering out at the area around her.

She was ready to take on Corypheus and leave, as soon as possible. "There's nothing here now," she said with a strained voice. "Even with my clan dead, just thinking how the Carta is everywhere-I can't…"

They were all over Thedas, just like her mother could be hiding in every shadow. Marcus may be dead, and Amelia banished to Orzammar, but that didn't settle the anguish and paranoia that Amelia might escape and come after her.

The darkspawn had been a greater force in her life than she'd first thought, realizing how it was the blood of those creatures that drove her on protector insane to the point of nearly killing him. If another blight came, and it surely would, she didn't want to have to see those disgusting creatures populating the continent.

"L-Let's go, Harding. The Arbor Wilds. We need to stop Corypheus…now."

"Now?" Harding pulled her head back and cast a skeptical glance her way. "Are you really ready to leave for the Wilds right now?"

"No time like the present." Her breathing hitched and the painful tightness in her body only slightly relaxed. "I'm ready to kill the bastard and get the hell out of this place. Thedas is hell, and I want out. Now."

"I'll let the others know."

Well, what are your thoughts? Is it good that Harding isn't letting what happened between Bianca and Lantos get between the friendship she has with Bianca? What are your opinions on the chapter? I truly do want to hear from you, I enjoy your input as much as I enjoy writing. So the Arbor Wilds are coming. What do you think the ancient elves will say? We must assume Bianca and Varric will have questions for them