Just a little slice of life, and a little bit of suspense...
As always, neither Arei nor I own HP or Bleach. Enjoy!
Chapter 17
The two Death Eaters, whom Ichigo had dubbed 'Dumb' and 'Dumber', to Rukia's bemusement, simply gaped at the Fifth Squad Captain when he told the pair that they going shopping. At Muggle Stores. And that they would, under pain of dismemberment, behave themselves while the couple was out shopping for 'souvenirs'.
Tom the bartender was also staring at Ichigo wide-eyed as this was announced without preamble.
"And get rid of the robes," Ichigo ordered coldly.
"W-what?" Dumb whispered stunned.
"You heard me. Street clothes. Muggle street clothes. Or I'll do it for you and you won't like what I dress you in," Ichigo gave them a cold smile. "You've got ten minutes to get ready."
Rukia eyed the pair with some amusement as it was obvious that they had no idea what 'muggle street clothes' entailed. She followed after her fiancé, managing to hold back a cackle and then looked at him when they were safely in their room.
"How do you think they'll take this?" she asked him.
"I think they're in shock at the moment after that little derailment," he replied, "A couple more days of this, though, and we'll have them too tired to notice when we swap with Ririn and Noba. They're good at pretending to be us for the most part but they get small things wrong that we cannot afford Dumb and Dumber noticing or else they'll report their suspicions."
"Right," Rukia smirked at him and crossed her arms. "And then I'll go check on Hermione and the boys and you go make sure Uryu hasn't turned Urahara into a pincushion."
"Or Toshiro hasn't turned both of them into ice statues," he sighed and they shared a rueful smile. Toshiro had a low threshold of patience when it came to Urahara, even lower than his or Uryu's. "The trio should be okay, Yoruichi is with them. I shoved her into Harry's arms right before Hermione Apparated out of there, but I'd feel better if one of us looks in on them. Especially since Harry isn't answering any of his texts, either from myself or Tatsuki."
Rukia nodded her agreement.
"I'd feel better about it myself. Of course it might just be a case of him not being used to the phone, he was raised by muggles and raised poorly at that. He could have forgotten he even had it," she said with a frown at the thought of the Dursley's. She grinned suddenly. "So how much money do I get to spend?"
Ichigo laughed aloud at that.
"However much it takes to make them tired. I intend to use them as pack horses," he smiled back at her, and then pulled out his wallet.
"Here, this is for emergency use only, if we get separated. There should be enough for a cab, bus or the tube back here," He handed her a small bundle of folded money.
She nodded again, taking the pounds and putting them in her pocket.
"Don't I get my own card? I know you gave Uryu one," She pouted at him playfully.
"Uryu is going to take care of my sisters if anything ever happens to me and when I finally move to the Soul Society. He needed access to the accounts," he explained, "and since I'm actually in Soul Society more than I am here, Yuzu and Karin needed someone trustworthy to keep an eye on their share. Dad might be better now that Mom is helping him manage his Bi-polar Disorder, but he still has a habit of spending too much even now. At least he's not going overboard anymore."
Rukia smiled faintly at him, understanding his need to take care of his sisters and keep his Father in line. Rukia didn't really need a card either – Ichigo would buy her anything she needed or wanted.
"Come on, let's go," he took her hand and they walked downstairs to find the two Death Eaters waiting for them, a bit awkwardly, in their Muggle transfigured clothes. Ichigo looked them over critically. The clothes were slightly out of date but the Death Eaters in question were old enough to pass in the style of clothing they were in.
"You'll do," he said coolly, heading for the door, Rukia trailing cheerfully behind him.
Tom watched them leave, worriedly and was somewhat surprised when the group didn't return until nearly suppertime. The two Death Eaters were loaded down with packages, which Ichigo directed be placed in their room, and then he watched as the two young people sat down and dined on what they told him was 'pizza' from an odd box that was made from 'card board'. Ichigo and Rukia looked amused by his confusion and awe over the lightweight box, especially since the older wizard was used to wooden boxes which he then packed away with a flick of his wand. He shook his head as he noted Muggle ingenuity. They then managed to convince him to try some of the pizza and all three laughed at his attempts to get the droopy, drippy cheese into his mouth.
"More shopping tomorrow?" Rukia asked her fiancé as she finished off her slice. Ichigo grinned.
"If you like," he answered. "There are some upscale boutiques we can go to."
She blinked at him. "You want to take them to a high class –"
"Sure, why not? The more uncomfortable they are, the faster we wear them down. Mundane boutiques can be just as uptight and boring as the Wizarding ones."
Rukia looked doubtful the pair could behave themselves in such a location, but said nothing.
They followed the same routine the next day. Rukia noticed that Ichigo dressed a bit more 'up' for the day, in slacks and a nice shirt, and basically sat down in one of the chairs the boutiques provided for their clientele while Rukia tried on various dresses and skirts, only offering his opinion when it was asked. The two Death Eaters were hovering silently in the background like shadowy body guards but they kept tugging at the very tight fitting suits that Ichigo had transfigured for them.
Usually when entering the various boutiques the salespeople in their fancy suits or dresses would doubt this young couple could afford their prices and yet when Ichigo never flinched at the cost of anything, and after a discrete credit check by the store passed with no issue, the pair were treated like visiting royalty. Their Death Eater escorts were normally dumbfounded by the whole process, not expecting the two to receive such star treatment by Muggles.
At one point, Rukia paused and looked seriously at a dress, smoothing her hand over the yellow silk and taking note of the carefully sewn in design.
"Um..." she looked at the woman assisting her, "do you have this in white?"
"White?" the woman looked at the dress. "I'll have to check, I know we have it in a number of colors with that same design. Hand stitched and very subtle. A wonderful choice miss. If you will give me a few moments to check the back?"
Rukia nodded as the woman walked away and Ichigo was at her side, suddenly.
"Are you sure?" he asked, quietly, "I thought you were going to have Uryu make the dress?"
She nodded, staring at the dress longingly.
"If they don't have it in white, we'll take pictures and send them to Uryu. He's just as good with stitching designs as he is making the outfit itself," he paused suddenly and then seemed to nod to himself. "Or we can see if they can make one to order."
"Order one? When would we pick it up?" Rukia asked with a small frown as she fingered the silk of the dress.
"Christmas break," Ichigo replied with a small smile. "I doubt they'll let us go home for it, so we may as well reserve our room with Tom now. Or just stay at the school and I'll sneak over to pick it up."
Rukia smiled up at him, but appeared a bit concerned.
"What are the chances they'll have a size two?" she asked with some worry. She was very petite and she knew it despite how often she would rail against being called short.
"Well, they've had your size in everything else you've wanted," he pointed out.
The saleswoman returned at that moment, a plastic wrapped gown in her hands.
"We did have one," she said with a smile, "Although it may be a little long. This dress is designed specifically for longer legs."
"Maybe you can just shorten the front?" Ichigo suggested as Rukia excitedly trailed her into the dressing room to try the dress on.
"I've asked the seamstress to join us and she is already inside. With your fiancé here we'll be able to work out the specifics," was the response as the pair vanished into forbidden territory and Ichigo returned to his seat, where he took out his phone and sent a quick email to Momo asking for a status report.
Her response was almost immediate; she and Rangiku had gotten Uryu and Orihime home safely. Although, they were currently giving Kira and Shiro-chan the cold shoulder for not thinking they could handle the assignment on their own.
Ichigo snorted with amusement, as he pondered the current atmosphere at the Third Squad, and then sent a quick message over to Gin with an apology. His friend's response was an emo emoji, that was an apparent representation of Kira's current state of mind. He chuckled at that and at what followed – a rather humorous rant that Ichigo guessed was Matsumoto's complaint, delivered to Gin when she had returned. She had probably delivered it loudly, letting poor Kira hear every word... which, combined with Momo's being angry at him...
Was the cause of the emo emoji.
Ichigo didn't know who he felt more sorry for: Gin, Kira or Toshiro.
:Sorry, again: he sent back.
:Not your fault: a brief pause, then another message popped up. :I hear u have babysitters?:
:More like the other way around:
:They behaving?:
:Like frightened five-year-olds:
Another emoji followed, this one laughing. Ichigo smirked, and slipped his phone back into his pocket when Rukia emerged back out of the dressing room, her eyes lit up.
"It fits!" she exclaimed with excitement, "it's a little long, but the seamstress says she can do what you suggested – hem the front and leave a small train in the back. There's enough material."
Ichigo leaned over and kissed her. "One of the unexpected benefits of being a midget."
"Don't call me a midget!"
"My midget," he kissed her again, "if anyone else calls you that…"
A slightly bloodthirsty look crossed Rukia's expression, very briefly.
"Do I get to watch?" she asked.
"Of course. It's my nickname for you, no one else can use it."
Ichigo handed his credit card to the saleswoman, and didn't flinch when she gave him the total for all of Rukia's purchases. Why should he? It wouldn't even put a dent in even one of his Gringott's vaults.
"Seamstress said she'll have the dress ready for you before you leave," she said, taking the signed slip and handing him the receipt. "She's still going to need shoes and a veil –"
"I don't know what I'm going to do for a headpiece yet," Rukia admitted, "And I don't know how high I want the shoes."
"A one inch heel would be nice," the seamstress said, joining them, "it would give you some height, but be comfortable at the same time."
"I'll keep that in mind," Rukia said, smiling happily at them.
"I'll call when it's ready," she told the petite Soul Reaper, and vanished with the dress. Ichigo handed the two Death Eaters the rest of Rukia's purchases, who stared at the large assortment of bags with some dismay.
"How about some lunch?" Ichigo asked his fiancée.
"Sure."
"Fish and chips, Thai, or French Bistro?"
"Hmm…" Rukia pursed her lips thoughtfully before she replied, "French Bistro."
Ichigo nodded, and then glanced back at the two struggling Death Eaters. "Go drop those off in our room, then come back and be careful with those!"
They both grimaced but when he scowled at them, nodded and hastily vanished.
The pair looked around, but no one seemed to have noticed the vanishing act the two Death Eaters had pulled.
"You've got them rattled, already," Rukia chuckled.
"Good, maybe it won't take as long," Ichigo said, smiling faintly.
#
He was running.
He wasn't sure why, but he knew he had to stay hidden. Unfamiliar territory. Didn't recognize anyone. This wasn't right! Where was he? What is this place?!
He ducked behind a trash bin and growled, rubbing at his leg. No damage, none, but it hurt. Ghost pain? Previous injury? No scar though...
He looked around, eyeing the mix of people dressed in robes, normal clothes... no kimonos. He ducked back behind the trash. He didn't know why but the Kimonos were important to look out for. Why? Friend? Foe? He didn't know!
He wanted a stick...? Staff...? Wand...? Yes, that was it. A wand. Why did he want a wand? Hexes? Curses? Jinxes? Shields! Hiding Spells!
Something to help him hide until he could Think. Everything was a damned jumble that didn't make sense. He caught his reflection in a broken mirror amongst the trash and he picked it up, frowning at himself.
This wasn't him... was it? Young...? Not right... not right! His face was wrong and he wasn't sure why! Why couldn't he remember?!
Memory...! Memory...? Charm...? Was there such a thing as a memory charm? His mind said yes but he couldn't remember why. Why the hell did he want a wand anyway? That wasn't right.
Breathe... breathebreathebreathe.
Better.
Calmer now, the man looked around slowly before moving down the alleyway with a nonchalant walk. Act like you belong. That was the key to being ignored. Act like you belong and people will think that you belong.
He had to find a place to lay low, get his head on straight. Something had happened and he WOULD remember and then he would make whoever did this to him pay. Maybe...? Something told him that making the person pay... might not be possible? Hmmm... maybe they'd been dealt with already? No, can't assume. Assuming leaves enemies roaming free like evil little rats...
Why was he so angry at a literal rat? ... think about it later. Safety first. Place to hide.
Movement!? The man twisted and eyed another pile of trash tossed into the alleyway. Can't be too careful. Something moved... Lots of somethings...
Oh... Oh but he was stupid... he was surrounded...
Nowhere to run... Where was his wand?!
No one heard the man as he fell. Lying alone in the alleyway he blinked at the sky.
This is why he always said what he said, he thought to himself, but what did he always say...?
#
Cloaked men had started to appear in the square outside Number Twelve, and stayed there, gazing in the direction of a house they were not able to see.
"Death Eaters," Soifon said grimly as she watched the forms. "Worse, they're amateurs. Look at them, even if they are casting Notice-Me-Not charms they are still so... so."
"Mmm, they are, aren't they?" Yoruichi agreed lazily from her spot on a settee which wasn't close to the window Soifon was at.
It was a moment of confused silence before the Trio remembered that Yoruichi could sense people and they shared a bemused look as they recalled that they themselves had been going through training to try to sense Reiatsu and could, if they concentrated and closed their eyes, sense the Death Eaters milling about outside.
"Do you reckon they know we're in here?" Ron asked as he opened his eyes and lost focus.
"Doubtful," Hermione said as she opened her own eyes. "They'd have sent Snape in after us if they did. After all, he does know how to get in."
"Unless he's managed to talk them out of it, somehow," Yoruichi said from where she perched, flipping through one of Sirius's many books. "Some fast talking about Japanese magic, maybe? He's got a silver tongue."
"They could be watching to see if we turn up. They do know that Harry owns the house, after all," Hermione put in.
"How –" Harry started.
"Wizarding wills are examined by the Ministry, remember?" Hermione gave him weak smile. "They'll know by now that Sirius left everything to you."
The presence of the Death Eaters outside increased the suddenly depressive mood inside, although the two Stealth Force Operatives offered to take them out – and any replacements that were sent. Harry shook his head at the offer and told them that it wouldn't be necessary before turning back to his own stack of books and all but ignoring everyone as he tended to do when he was brooding about Sirius.
Hermione sighed and went back to studying the book Professor Dumbledore gave her, getting increasingly upset with Ron as the boy got more and more twitchy. They were still awaiting word about the red-heads family and the longer time went on with no word, the more agitated he became. Currently he was fiddling with the Deluminator, flashing the lights within the room on and off, on and off. Soifon and Yoruichi, who were also making their way through the Dark Arts books, were also starting to give him evil looks.
"Will you stop it?!" Hermione suddenly shouted as she all but slammed the book she was holding closed and yanked said Deluminator out of his hand the next time the lights flickered off and on.
"Sorry! I don't know I'm doing it!" Ron yelped and blushed.
"You could try doing something useful!" came the responding snap.
"What, like reading children's stories?" Ron rolled his eyes.
Soifon slammed the book she was reading down onto the table, silencing the pair, and glared at them.
"I will tie the two of you up if you don't stop," she warned, "Do not think that I am making an idle threat either."
The pair subsided, well aware that when Soifon got angry she could, and would, carry out her threat without any qualms.
Yoruichi suddenly looked up at the hall, eyes alert. Harry knew that is she'd been in cat form her ears would have perked and her tail would have stiffened.
"What –?" Harry started to ask softly.
"Shhh! Someone just entered..." came the equally soft reply.
Then she smiled faintly and relaxed back to her previous position, opening her book back up and turning back to the page she had been on. "I wondered how long it would take."
Ron and Hermione stared at her, then each other, then Harry and then at the door, where a moment later Rukia appeared.
"Rukia!" Hermione exclaimed with joy.
Harry laughed at the sight of Hermione throwing her arms around the petite Soul Reaper and then getting spun around in a fierce hug by said girl.
"Are you okay? Did Ichigo come with you?" Harry asked as Rukia released Hermione.
"We're fine, and no – Ichigo took a quick trip home to check on things," Rukia replied. She turned to Harry. "He wanted me to ask you if something was wrong with your phone."
"My – why?" Harry blinked.
"Because you haven't replied to any of your texts," Rukia was glowering at him.
"Um..." Harry withered under the stare as his mind went blank.
"Doesn't the fact that the place is protected with the Fidelius Charm block the signal?" Ron asked.
Rukia rolled her eyes at the red-head and pulled her own phone out, quickly sent a message... and was satisfied by the reply that came back less than a minute later.
"Nope," She tucked it away again and resumed her glower.
"Sorry?" Harry squeaked out.
"The signal isn't blocked. Not even by distance," she told him firmly. "I got a reply from Ichigo – in Karakura no less – pretty quickly as you just saw. So no, it doesn't block the signal."
Hermione was already digging into her purse for his phone, both boys had given her them for safe keeping after she scolded them for putting them in their back pockets and sitting down on them, and finally came up with it and handed it to him. When Harry saw the number of messages on it – he winced. There were a bunch from Tatsuki as well as the others. Most of the recent messages showed that people were upset with him over his lack of response. He sheepishly sent off several apologies and let Ron know everyone in his family was okay. His friend sighed with relief and sunk back onto the couch.
"Thanks mate," Ron said with a relieved smile before catching Hermione's hand and pulling her down next to him in order to whisper an apology in her ear.
"So –" Rukia started to say when they heard a tap on the front door, then the metallic clicks and grinding of the chain releasing.
Everyone froze, the three young wizards looking at the three Soul Reapers, who were staring with some concentration. It was Rukia who relaxed first, followed shortly by Yoruichi; Soifon did the same only when she saw her mentor relax her stance.
"Hello, Remus-san," Rukia said quietly as the figure moved into the light and out of the hallway.
The trio were happy to see him, but quite alarmed at his very exhausted condition. He had not looked this shabby the last time they had seen him, at Ichigo's manor.
"How did you get past the Death Eaters?" Ron asked, once everyone had finished greeting him. Heads also swiveled to look at Rukia, realizing that she'd also had to slip past them as well.
"What Death Eaters?" he asked baffled.
Rukia smiled, demurely, but there was a faint glint in her eye that left no question as to what had befallen their shadows.
"...never mind," Ron said. This was something they expected of Ichigo – but not Rukia. Maybe they should have.
"Made for each other," they heard Soifon mutter. No one could argue with her.
"Won't they get suspicious if Death Eaters just up and disappear?" Hermione asked worriedly.
"Oh, they aren't dead," Rukia smirked with self-satisfaction. "I just snuck up on them and froze them with a kido spell. Then I moved them where they won't be spotted. They'll thaw out in an hour or so – and have no clue how they got there."
They all stared at her, then first Hermione, then Harry, followed by Ron, Yoruichi, Soifon and Lupin all smiled and shook their heads. Apparently she and Ichigo were very well-matched indeed, as Soifon had said.
"What are you doing here, Remus?" Yoruichi turned to look at the werewolf.
Lupin sighed, taking off his coat and dropping down onto the chair that they vacated for him.
"Everyone is being watched; they're staking out anyone who has any connection to you, Harry," he wiped a hand over his face. "I'd have been here three days ago but I had to shake off the one tailing me. I've been looking for Order members who didn't manage to make it to the hideout."
"Has anyone –" Harry hesitated, not wanting to voice his fear.
"No one has been killed," Remus said soothingly. "Not yet. But Dedalus Diggle's house was burned down..."
"All the protective charms –" Hermione started in shock.
"Death Eaters are, for all intents and purposes, the Ministry now. No one will say anything to them for performing an Unforgiveable Curse. The Burrow was searched, but the family got off lightly – probably because Ichigo was still there at the time. They really are afraid of that boy," He actually smiled faintly. "They haven't been back, although we don't doubt that they are watching, because they know Tatsuki can warn him very quickly, he can shake his own watchdogs with no problems at all and be back at the Burrow in the blink of an eye," He indicated Rukia's presence as proof of this.
"You're sure about that?" Ron asked.
"Those ears of Fred and George are good for something," he nodded.
"Are they even bothering to give an excuse for trying to torture Harry's whereabouts out of people?" Hermione asked with an edge to her voice.
"Well..." Lupin pulled out a folded copy of the Daily Prophet and handed it over to Harry, who smoothed it out so he could read it. "That's their pretext."
"So that's that, then," Harry sighed.
He turned the paper so everyone could see the headline: HARRY POTTER WANTED FOR QUESTIONING ABOUT THE DEATH OF ALBUS DUMBLEDORE. The rest of the article was mostly drivel that wondered if Harry should be considered public enemy #1 since he had not shown up to provide a formal witness report to a group of Aurors. This meeting had apparently been 'properly scheduled' on the day of his birthday, which was bull. Because of his lack of appearance there, and at the wedding which almost everyone knew about, he was considered potentially dangerous, or perhaps he'd been taken against his will by someone, and should be stunned on sight to either restrain him or rescue him.
"I'm sorry, Harry," Hermione said softly as she gave his shoulder a squeeze.
"But surely people have realized what's going on?" Ron asked furiously. He was in a much better mood now that he had news of his family but the all but blatant accusation that Harry was responsible for Dumbledore's death was enough to almost set him off again.
"The coup was smooth and virtually silent," Remus shook his head. "Scrimgeour has been said to resign; he has been replaced by Pius Thicknesse, who is currently under the Imperius Curse. The public doesn't know what happened and that works in their favor."
"Why didn't Moldy declare himself Minister?" Ron asked.
Lupin laughed bitterly.
"Why would he? He is, effectively, Minister in all but name. He doesn't need to sit behind a desk. He lets his puppets take care of day to day business. Why should he have to deal with the paperwork? That is not to say people have not deduced what has happened because of the dramatic change in Ministry policy over the last few days, and they are whispering – whispering – about it. They don't dare speak out loud or to each other," Lupin shook his head. "If he had come out in the open he might have provoked rebellion. This way – remaining hidden – behind the scenes, he leaves people afraid and uncertain."
"And this policy involved warning people against me instead of Voldemort?" Harry asked.
"Yes, that is part of it," Lupin nodded "With Professor Dumbledore dead you – the Boy Who Lived – would be the symbol for the resistance to rally around. By suggesting you had a part in Dumbledore's death, even if they lighten it and say you might have been kidnapped, it sows doubt and fear."
Lupin let out a sigh and gave them another bit of bad news.
"The Ministry has also started moving against Muggle-borns," he said softly.
"Not entirely unexpected," Rukia commented."It's why Hermione took the steps that she did."
"Page two," Lupin told them, indicating the paper.
Hermione turned to the page and read out loud; "Muggle-born Register," she read in a suddenly strained voice. "The Ministry of Magic is undertaking a survey of so-called 'Muggle-borns,' the better to understand how they came to possess magical secrets.
'Recent research undertaken by the Department of Mysteries reveals that magic can only be passed from person to person when Wizards reproduce. Where no proven Wizarding ancestry exists, therefore, the so-called Muggle-born is likely to have obtained magical power by theft or force.
'The Ministry is determined to root out such usurpers of magical power and to this end has issued an invitation to every so-called Muggle-born to present themselves for interview by the newly appointed Muggle-born Registration Commission.'"
"But – people won't let that happen!" Ron exclaimed as he rested a hand on his girlfriends trembling shoulders. They could all see her take a breath to calm herself.
"It is happening, Ron," said Lupin. "Muggle-borns are being rounded up as we speak."
"But that's mental! If they've stolen magic – I mean if you could – there wouldn't be any squibs!"
"I know that, you know that," Lupin said. "But if you can't prove that you have at least one close Wizarding relative, you are deemed to have obtained your power illegally and will be punished. Regardless of the fact that you cannot steal someone's magic the way they are claiming. Oh, there are rituals that allow you to share someone's magic, but that's only for the ritual."
There was dead silence before Harry asked, "What about the genealogies that Ichigo, Uryu and Hermione worked on all last school year?"
"So far no one who has one has been arrested and the genealogy has yet to come into question. So we don't know yet if anything will be done to nullify their findings."
There was a long silence and then Hermione voiced her own question; "What is he planning for Hogwarts?"
"Attendance is compulsory. That's new as it was never mandatory before. Parents always had the option to home school or send their children abroad if they preferred. Those options no longer exist. Now Moldy has the entire wizarding population under watch from a young age. It's also a way to weed out Muggle-borns, because you have to have blood status in order to attend."
"That's... that's..." Harry stammered, furious.
"I know."
"But – Ichigo – the others...!"
"We're under 'house arrest' at the Leaky Cauldron," Rukia said dryly. "Apparently it's better to have us in under a watchful eye than roaming England at will and getting in the way."
"So they really are letting you all return?" Harry asked incredulously.
She nodded. "Tomorrow we need to go purchase everyone's supplies. Ichigo isn't happy, but even Karin and Yuzu are coming back."
"Ouch."
"Yea, he threw a fit. You can imagine how well that one went over."
"They'll try to use his sisters against him!" Harry all but shouted.
"We know. That was his argument, too." Rukia sighed. "They're probably getting an earful, right about now because of their stupidity in putting his sisters in danger..."
Author's Notes:
Fidelius Charm - The Fidelius Charm is an extremely complicated spell that is used to conceal information through the means of one person - a Secret-Keeper. Such a charm has been used on the likes of Lily and James Potter - to conceal their whereabouts when Voldemort was after them - and also to conceal the whereabouts of the Order of the Phoenix location - Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. An immensely complex spell involving the magical concealment of a secret inside a single, living soul. The information is hidden inside the chosen person, or Secret-Keeper, and is henceforth impossible to find - unless, of course, the Secret-Keeper chooses to divulge it.