Its yellow eyes peered up from where it sat, frozen between the wet blades of grass. Its hunter held its breath as it stared down from its spot between the leaves which already began to darken and shrivel as winter loomed ahead of all life. The prey's nose twitched a few times, and an eternity seemed to pass by before it finally turned again, its paws reaching up to scratch at its ears in confusion.
The wind blew, and leaves that clung to their stems rustled, covering the sound of a bow creaking as it was bent. The creature did not notice it and hopped off, none the wiser as its enemy prepared its attack. Even before it could realise its fate, an arrow went right through its head, and it died at once, feeling no pain at all. How quick the candle of life could be snuffed out, if the hand knew what to do.
Gwen climbed out of the tree and back to the ground to inspect her win. Not that she would ever tell the others, but she did not yet dare take on nekkers. And anyway, her task had been to show them that she could hunt in the first place. Iorveth had never specified what exactly she had to bring back.
The rabbit went to her belt, where her collection hung. Two other rabbits and even a fox she had managed to take down. From her position up in the tree branches she had spot a few nekkers once, but had watched Ivor take them out from the other side. If anyone asked her about her meagre bounty, then she would simply say that he had been too fast for her. From the way he took out the pack of nekkers by himself with only his bow, Gwen knew that the elves would not doubt her.
Half the day had come and gone by the time the half-elf decided to return to the place where Iorveth had told them to gather afterwards. He had taken most of the elves, the less experienced ones, with him while giving the older Squirrels free reign. And Gwen, of whom he probably expected more than a few rabbits and a fox. She almost felt nervous to disappoint him.
As she made her way from tree to tree, relishing the feel of bark beneath her soles and moss between her toes, she froze at the sound of hooves moving against the ground. When she turned to look, as slowly as possible, she was surprised to see a deer shuffling between the trees, stopping here and there to graze on a patch of grass.
Deer were skittish creatures, and she had never had the patience to actually take one down. She hadn't even known that these animals roamed about the forest; she had always thought the nekkers and other monsters got to them even before they could walk properly.
Trying to stay as quiet as she could, Gwen reached back for her bow and an arrow as she made her way across the branch in an attempt to get closer to the animal. It seemed to take ages before she came within range, but at least the deer hadn't noticed her presence. It continued to eat from a shrubbery, its tail swishing above to get rid of any flies that annoyed it.
The half-elf almost felt bad as she lifted her bow and nocked an arrow. Before the guilt could hold her back, she let out the breath she had been holding and aimed at the creature, one eye closed and her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth. Once she had made sure her target wouldn't move all of a sudden and still hadn't heard her, she loosed the arrow and watched it impale the flesh of the deer.
It let out a wail and ran off, and Gwen cursed at herself. She had missed her mark by a hand's width, and it had punctured the edge of the animal's neck instead of its head. Almost, she decided to turn back, though she knew she wouldn't. Her rule had always been to minimise the suffering of any creature she had to kill, and she knew the deer wouldn't survive with an arrow sticking out of its neck. It would bleed to death; a slow and painful death.
Gwen launched herself after the deer, arms bracing against tree trunks as she tried her best to catch up with the animal. In its panic it did not know where it was going, running back and forth. Its hunter easily caught up with it, and she prepared another arrow while on the move, but it buried itself in bark instead of meat and sent the creature running in the opposite direction.
Her leg began to ache, each step causing a throb that distracted her for a moment, but she did not relent. Nekkers climbed out of their nests at the noise, but by the time they reached the surface, half-elf and deer were long gone.
Though the animal's crying attracted all sorts of monsters, it also helped Gwen follow the path it took. She reached for another arrow just as she spotted a clearing up ahead, the brown of the deer almost disappearing out of sight. Though her leg felt as though it were on fire, she gave it one final push and let go of the bow string in a last attempt to release the deer from its suffering.
She arrived at the end of her tree and jumped into the air, arms flailing as she tried to control her landing. The sight of the deer corpse on the ground surprised her into stillness for a moment, but the ground awoke her rudely by smacking into her. A yell of pain ripped itself from her throat, but when she rolled over she found herself to be mostly unharmed. Somehow she had had the luck to fall right into a thorny bush, which broke her fall but at the cost of some of her skin.
This arrow stuck out of its head, and as Gwen limped over to it, she asked herself how she had managed to do that. At least she had helped the poor creature, though she shouldn't have attacked it in the first place.
"Wouldn't have made it much longer anyway," she muttered to herself as she limped over to the corpse. Only now did she realise that she would have to drag it with her back to Iorveth, somehow.
Something rustled, and at once Gwen had her hand on her knife, ready to pull it and defend herself if need be. To her surprise, an elf stepped into the clearing, his movements mirroring hers as he took in the scene before him. He relaxed when he saw her and lowered his bow.
"You do know that half the forest is wondering what happened, don't you?" Ivor asked, making his way over to her to inspect her catch. He raised his brows at what he saw. "A deer in this forest?"
Gwen shrugged in response and struggled to lift the animal by its hooves. Before she could get anywhere, however, Ivor had pushed her away and flung the creature over his shoulder as if it weighed nothing more than a bag of feathers. Then again, it hadn't been that big of a deer.
The two of them made their way back to where Iorveth had told them to go, the half-elf keeping her bow ready just in case something might attack them. Ivor glanced at her before looking ahead again.
"It seems that you've been busy," he said, and Gwen looked down at her catch hanging from her belt. When she shrugged in response, the elf added, "No nekkers?" She simply shook her head and he didn't push her.
They continued in silence, the rustle of leaves and the singing of birds the only sounds they could hear. Gwen had no idea what she could say to him, not after their rather abrupt break since... that.
"Ahh." Ivor sighed all of a sudden and patted the deer on his shoulder. "This sure does take me back."
Gwen stared at him in surprise and couldn't help the words that slipped past her lips. "How so?"
The elf returned her expression, as though he only just now realised he had said that out loud. He turned away from her, his brows dipping down into a frown, and he said nothing for a few moments. Then he opened his mouth and began, "The first time I caught a deer by myself."
That was all he said, and Gwen continued to stare, wondering what this had to do with anything. Because Ivor didn't seem like the type of person to say random things like that, she decided to ask on. "And when was that...?"
"It must have been when I was twenty years old, give or take. Perhaps thirty." He turned his eyes skywards, for as far one could see the sky between the trees in the first place. "I can't even quite recall where it was, even though I had grown up in those woods. With my mother, for my father had died a few years earlier. Of a simple illness, if I recall correctly, because he had been too stubborn to stay still for a few days." He stopped talking again, and Gwen wasn't sure whether she should ask further or wait for him to go on, but in the end she didn't have to prompt him again. "After he died, she took to having some human keep her bed warm in his stead. Everything went well, until he started to become more demanding and she became... unwilling to please him as he wished."
He moved his gaze back to her, so that she could see the slight shimmer in his eyes, his elven mask giving way to the emotions that hid behind it. Emotions he had buried away, perhaps thought to have forgotten, but which had returned with recent events. Gwen knew what he would say even before he had opened his mouth.
"I found her on her own bed, the one she had always shared with my... with my father, and she was naked and bleeding. She was still breathing, though, but even then I knew her life had left her, and she... she died not much later." Ivor moved to the side to dodge a low-hanging branch blocking his path, his eyes elsewhere once more. "Her human somehow turned it into my doing... And they..." His cheeks became red and he turned his head to look to the other side, to hide his face from her.
The half-elf stood still, eyes wide as she watched the man continue to walk away, albeit at a slower pace as he left her to process his words and to take the time to regain his composure. That her... that Loredo's actions would call back memories of others, memories like that... Having to see his mother like that, and then he himself... And then she... And she had accused him of betraying her!
"To show you that we know what it's like as well. That everyone in this camp has their own story, and everyone has once gotten those looks from the others."
She balled her hands into fists before jogging after the elf, ignoring the limp in her leg as best as she could. When she reached him again, she placed a hand on his shoulder, forcing him to stop and turn to look at her. He had put on that stupid mask again, and for some reason it made her angry.
"Why are you telling me this? I have done nothing to make you trust me. Any of you-none of you should trust me. And why tell me this now?" she all but yelled at him, though she knew she shouldn't.
"I... do apologise for my behaviour. I almost feared that you would follow my mother, and for what might come after, however irrational that might have been," he replied as he shifted the animal on his shoulder.
"But why would you care?" She stopped walking again, and at the genuinely puzzled tone in her voice, Ivor paused as well and finally looked at her. Her eyes, large and full of confusion and anger and dwindling hate, met his empty ones, and he let out another sigh.
"Do you still not get it? You have given us enough reason to trust you. You went through that because you wanted to help one of our own. You could have done so much harm to our camp in the time you have been here, no matter the trust that Iorveth puts in you for whatever reason... But you haven't." He tilted his head to the side at the growing helplessness visible on Gwen's face. "All you have to do is accept it."
"But how?" she wanted to ask, but she knew she would only receive more cryptic answers in return. Her arm throbbed at the thought, and for a moment she was torn between taking a knife to her arm and breaking down in tears. She did neither, of course, and tried to bring up her own stoic expression.
Instead she asked, hesitant, "Did he... Iorveth... Did he do anything?"
"Did he do anything to whom?" Ivor responded with a frown.
Gwen quickly shook her head. "Never mind."
"Listen," Ivor said as he took a step back towards the half-elf, "Iorveth might be harsh and ruthless, and he might have hurt a lot of innocent humans. But you must believe me that he would never touch one of his own. He gave you a place in the unit himself, so he will never lay a finger on you."
The half-elf thought back to his slap, her hand almost automatically searching her cheek, but she swallowed her witty response. She nodded and wanted very much to believe him.
"Now come, the others will already be waiting for us," the elf said, and with that he walked off again, Gwen following him soon after.
They passed the rest of the trip in quiet. When they arrived at the pile or rocks that Iorveth had assigned as the spot where they were to meet up again, the half-elf saw that the others had already gathered there. The group stopped talking and turned to stare at the newcomers. Gwen at once caught sight of Iorveth, but she looked away as soon as their gazes met. She wanted to believe. She had to believe. She could not hold out much longer if she thought her safety compromised.
The commander went up to her to inspect her catch. He also eyed the scratches adorning her skin, but decided not to address those. "A deer? In these woods?"
She nodded, and told herself to open her mouth and say something, but found that she couldn't. Instead she lifted her shoulders in a shrug. Stupid, stupid woman!
"No nekkers?" Iorveth went on, his words receiving a snicker from the elves behind him, though Gwen knew from his tone that he had meant it out of curiosity and not malice. She shook her head, her tongue deciding to remain inactive.
From the corner of her eye, she could see Ivor making faces at her, but she ignored him.
Her unwillingness to reply seemed to make the commander uncomfortable. "I guess it cannot be helped then. At least you have proven yourself capable with a bow, that much is certain." He turned away from her and motioned to the other elves to move out. It would be getting dark soon, and they all wanted to be home by then.
Home.
If only Gwen could see it as such too, she thought as she stared at Iorveth's back and wondered what scars she might find there.