Back again with another chapte, hope you enjoy dear reader, and as always all characters and franchises belong to their respective owners
-Gravel pit 3:17 pm-
*BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOM!* *BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!*
the sound of explosions could be heard throughout the entire area from where they started detonating and when the large amount of smoke cleared up, the one who made such a explosive display stood smirking with a detonator in hand "heh, they sure got a bang for their buck on that one" she said with a smooth smile.
"what makes me a good demoman" Selmers said from her spot across the table wearing her standerd demoman cloathes as she and bob talked to each other "well I think it's obvious if I was a bad one we really wouldn't be having this discussion now would we?"
Bob looked sheepish as he rubbed the back of his head from her logic and said "uh yes good point... sorry"
"LETS DO IIIIITTTTT!" Selmers yelled out as she and her team rushed out onto the battle field, Selmers was the last to rush out the exit and no sooner than she did she was immediately shot at with rockets, Selmers effortlessly dodged the shots with her trusty grenade launcher in hand yelling "Not one of you is gonna survive what I got in store for ya!" Defiantly as she kept moving.
"look I'm gonna be frank with you, you have to know what your doing when you're setting up a bomb" Selmers said as she was putting together another hand made explosive with expert ease, while bob just sat nervously as he stared at the explosive device she was making as she kept talking. "one cross wire, one wayward pinch of gunpowder or potassium chlorate, one. single. twitch., and BOOM, your in more pieces than anyone can count" Selmers explained as she finish making the bomb.
"I see, and what exactly happened to your eye if you don't mind me asking" bob asked
Selmers then surprised him when she lifted up the eyepatch over her left eye revealing a perfectly healthy eyeball underneath "nothing actually, I just wear it because I think it looks cool"
Selmers kept running as the blu Teams pyro member chased after her, his flamethrower shooting out lethal amounts of fire all the while, thinking quickly Selmers made a corner and fired a grenade that bounced off the wall and hit The flamethrower user, blasting him into pieces as it went off on impact.
"should you really be drinking around this much explosives?" Bob said as Selmers pulled out a bottle of scrumpy.
the demoman took a quick swig wiping her mouth off and said "actually this is non alcoholic, the real get you drunk off your ass stuff is reserved for whenever me and the guys win a mission after we kicked the asses of whatever bunch of poor saps who pick a fight with us" she explained as she took a longer gulp out of the bottle again "hey you want any?" She asked "made it myself so theirs plenty to go around".
"RRRRAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!" Blu Germ didn't even have the time to react before Selmers rammed into him like a speeding truck knocking the wind out of him in the process, Selmers,who had been equipped with the Charge N Targe, then raided her trusty sword the Eyelander up high and with one quick CHOP lopped blu Germ's head right off his shoulders before he had a chance to even retaliate, Selmers proceeded to then promp her foot on his headless corpse and raised her sword up high and yelled out for all to hear "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!" While the Eyelander whispered out in a haunting and ghostly like voice "hhheeeeaaaddddssss~".
Bob looked absolutely floored about the new piece of information he just got from the person he was taking too "wait a minute! Your sword is haunted" he said as he stared at the blade placed against the table next to Selmers
"Oh yeah actually, to be honest with you Eyelander is the best sword a girl can ask for" she said as she glanced over to the haunted blade "he saved my life more times than I can count and I wouldn't trade him for anything in the world".
Eyelander suddenly raised a few inches out of his sheath and said "aw thanks partner, to be honest with ya I feel the same way" the sword said in an haunting like voice that made bob shiver
"so... what exactly is it like having a sword like him" he asked
Selmers expression brightened as she said "oh it's pretty awesome really" she said "the two of us hang out most of the time and make poetry together with Andy. We make a schedule for it and everything".
Bob looked a bit confused for a moment "Andy" he asked. Selmers then realized something as she dugged into a bag "oh that's right I didn't introduce you yet" and then to Bob's utterly freaked out horror Selmers pulled out a rather terrifying looking book "behold, the BOMBINOMICON!" She said in a dramatic like voice "or as he named himself, Andrew D. Kaboom" the book then said in a Brooklyn like accent "Eh' how's it going?"
Bob seemed really baffled for a moment but found his voice "Andrew D. Kaboom?" He asked puzzled by the choice in name.
Selmers then placed Andrew down against a box on the table and said "yeah he choosed the name himself, it was the name of a bomb on this internet show about a bunch of guys in a boxed canyon who stand around talking all day" she said casually "anyway me and the two of them make some cool poetry together, you wanna hear some?"
Bob said yes and politely listened to the poem Selmers and her sword and book made together.
a level three sentry formed up in front of the control point as Selmers and Mae charged at it, Mae wasn't so lucky today as the sentry gunned her down but Selmers fired to grenades at the turret which rolled right up to it and then blasted it to pieces.
"that was really good" bob said as Selmers finished reading her poem to the camera man.
the optimistic criticism made the bomb girl smile "thanks, we do what we can on making it" she then took a swig of her drink again and then decided to give off her last bit of the conversation.
"so let me tell you this much, this goes out to all of those punks who are so proud,so cocked short, prancing about thinking your king or queen of the world! Come and get me I say, I'll be waiting on you with the smell of brimstone and a sword in hand! I'm a grim bloody fable, with an unhappy bloody end!"
Selmers made a corner near the last controll point only to suddenly stop when she saw the remaining blu team members lead by blu Scriggins rushing right at her with weapons in hand, but she just smirked as she mad a dash towards control point A and when she got their she then began to set her trap.
At that point Blu team finally caught up to Selmers who wa drinking a bottle of scrumpy, and then blu Scriggins look of cockiness turned into horror when he suddenly noticed the sticky bombs placed on the exit.
And all Selmers did was smile at them as she pushed the detonation button.
And then...
*KA-BOOM!*
Selmers just laughed as the bits and pieces of Blu team landed around her, she then bent down to the head of blu Scriggins and said one iconic line "oh their gonna have to glue you back together, IN HELL!"
And so the career of Selmers the demoman continued on as usual for our Poetic Bomber Girl.
And there you have it, also props to anyone who can get the name I had the bombinomicon have, anyway thanks for reading and please leave a review