APOV
Since my meeting last week went well I finally have a free lunch break. I want to get out of the office so I decide it go to the bookstore down the street. Sawyer follows but gives me enough space to feel like I'm on my own. I grab a poetry book and sit down to read.
"Hey." I hear then the sound of someone sitting in the leather chair beside me rings in my ears. "We just keep running into each other." I look up to see Tyler smirking at me. I give a small laugh back.
"Hey. I finished the readings and meetings I had to do last week so I figured I'd come relax during todays lunch break. You on break too?" I ask.
"Yeah, just for a little bit longer. I got out 15 minutes ago. What's the publisher you said you work for again?"
"SIP. It's just down the street from here." I answer.
"Oh yeah, I know the one, my friend Jack worked there." I tense slightly at his words. "Did you meet him while he was there?" He continues.
"Yeah, I started out as his assistant." I say shortly. "But that's boring, tell me more about your job. What kind of clothes does Wellers sell?" I ask trying to change the subject.
"Oh did I hit a nerve?" He smirks. "Sounds like something happened between you two." I give him a look. "Okay okay. Working at Wellers is cool. They sell mostly work clothes, overalls, work boots, etc." Tyler says.
We talk for a few more minutes before he has to leave. We say our goodbyes and I swear I see him win it at me as he leaves. I shake my head and try to go back to my reading. Why would be wink at me? And why did he have to bring up Hyde? I put my book down with a huff. And damn it why did Christian have to be right about him knowing Hyde. I close the book and put it back on the shelf. This isn't helping me relax.
I still can't relax back at the office so I pull out my phone and email Christian asking for Flynn's information.
To: Anastasia Grey
Subject: Flynn?
Date: May 20 2:12pm
From: Christian Grey
You can call him at 888-1234 or email him at . Is something wrong? Do you wan me to come see you?
Christian Grey
CEO, GEH, Inc.
To: Christian Grey
Subject: Flynn
Date: May 20 2:15pm
From: Anastasia Grey
No, I'm fine. Just forgot to book my next appointment when I was there.
Anastasia Grey
Editor, SIP
I drop my phone annoyed at Christians overbearing and worrying. I run my hands over my face and through my hair. I pick up my phone again and dial Flynn's number.
"Hello, Dr. John Flynn's office. Ashlee speaking how may I help you?" A female voice drones.
"Hi, It's Anastasia Grey."
"Oh, hi Mrs. Grey! How can I help you?" She perks up significantly. I roll my eyes. The power of Grey's last name I guess.
"Um, I forgot to book my next appointment when I was there last. Do you guys have anything this week?" I ask.
"I'm sure I can find something just give me a moment." She says kindly. I hear her typing while I wait. "We can fit you in Wednesday at 4:30 if that works for you?" She offers. I'll have to leave a few minutes early from work but that's okay.
"Yes, that works, thank you." I answer.
"Okay, see you then Mrs. Grey." We say our goodbyes and hang up. I'm still having trouble focusing so I pull out the yellow pad and write down some feelings and frustrations about Christian and Tyler. The journaling helps a bit, enough that I'm able to finish out the day.
I'm still somewhat annoyed and not hungry when I get home that night and I know it disappoints Christian but I don't have any dinner. Tuesday passes quickly since I'm in a little better of a mood after sleeping well. Wednesday morning is pretty boring. I think I spot Tyler at the café across the street but when I look up again no one is there. I try to push the weird feelings away and finish my work. Before I know it I'm sitting in Flynn's office again.
"How have things been since I saw you last?" He asks.
"Okay I guess, I kept to eating a little and the dietician is coming over tomorrow. Christian's been somewhat annoying with his overbearing-ness. Even more annoying that I'm starting to think he's right about Tyler. He kept bringing up Hyde and was winking at me and I thought I saw him watching from the coffee shop across from my office." I ramble on.
"I'm glad to hear you've kept up eating. How's it made you feel?" He prompts.
"I don't know, I kind of get through it and try to forget about it."
"Hmm, hopefully the dietician helps with that. Try to listen to his perspective on food and see if there's anything you can take from it. In regards to the annoyance maybe you could see Claude for a physical outlet for those feelings that's healthy. Christian told me Claude is very diverse in his training, maybe he'll have something you like." Flynn suggests.
"Yeah, I'll ask Christian about that later. It'd be nice not to be annoyed when I'm suppose to be working."
"In the meantime I have something you can try. It's called balancing thoughts." He turns to his filing cabinet and pulls out a few pieces of paper. I look down at what e gives me and I realize it's a worksheet. "The goal is to be able to do it in your head but the worksheet helps with the steps until you've got them down." I nod at his explanation.
"So what do I do first?" I ask.
"In the first box explain the situation." He instructs.
'Christian is being overbearing and controlling with the people I see, especially Tyler.' I write in the box then look up at Flynn waiting for the next step.
"Okay next, in the box below, jot down how that makes you feel." He says.
I move to the next box and write 'Annoyed, frustrated, sad, incompetent.' I look back to him for the next instructions.
"Okay, the next box is for thoughts. Write down some things the situation makes you think and some of the things the feelings make you think." He watches as I nod and look back to the page.
I think for a second before writing 'Christian thinks I'm not capable of choosing friends, Christian thinks that I need to be controlled, it makes me think I'm not good enough for him' I put my pen down.
"Okay, the next two boxes kind of go together. Write down the evidence that these feelings and thoughts might be true and the evidence that these feelings and thoughts might not be true." I nod at what he says before looking back at the page.
I start with the evidence that it might be true. 'True: background checks mean that he doesn't trust my judgement, if he doesn't trust my judgement he doesn't trust me to handle myself.' Then I move onto the opposite side. 'False: Christian tells me he loves me all the time, he's proud I earned my spot at SIP on my own, Christian didn't stop me from seeing Tyler just voiced his concerns, he does background checks on everyone to keep me safe'. When I'm done I'm surprised my false list is longer than the true list. I look up at Flynn slightly confused.
"Good, now in the last box you write a balanced thought, or a new way of looking at the situation." He says finally. I sit and think for a moment before reading everything I wrote.
I finally put my pen back to the paper. 'Christian may be controlling but he does the background checks to make sure I'm safe, because he loves me'. Christian isn't controlling because he thinks I'm not capable. He does it because h wants me to be safe and people may be out to get him and therefore me too. Realizing there's a reason behind the background checks makes me more accepting of them.
I make another appointment at the front desk then make my way back home with the extra worksheets Flynn gave me and the yellow pad. Christian would be home soon so I go to change before making my way back to the living room to wait for him.
CPOV
By the time that negotiation meeting was over I was ready to have a good match with Claude or fall asleep, I couldn't decide which. It was a long, tiring, frustrating meeting. I love Ana but I really hope she's not in a bad mood today. I'm exhausted. Taylor and I get in the elevator and head up to the penthouse. When we finally reach the floor after what feels like ages Taylor leaves to talk to Sawyer. I spot Ana on the bar stool reading a magazine.
"Hey." I say and wrap my arms around her.
"Hey." She gets up and hugs and kisses me.
"How are you?" I ask resting my head on her shoulder and giving her neck a kiss. She gives a small giggle.
"Good, go change and then we can eat." She says surprising me.
"Yes ma'am." I say and head upstairs after hearing her laughter in the background. She seems to be in a good mood at least. I change as quickly as I can and make my way back downstairs. I reach the breakfast bar just as Gail is setting down two plates of spaghetti. "So how was your day?" I ask.
"Good, I had my appointment with Flynn this afternoon. We went through a new worksheet strategy kind of thing to help me look at the situations around me in different ways. It challenges the way I think to make sure what I'm thinking isnt skewed any. Today we used the background check you did on Tyler as an example." She takes a breath. I must look a little worried because she smiles reassuringly at me and then continues.
"I wanted to say thank you. I realize now it's because you want me to be safe and because you love me. I'm not mad about it anymore. Sure, it's annoying to have to have it done but acknowledging that there is a legitimate reason to have it done makes it easier to accept." She finishes.
"I'm glad and I'm sorry. I know you don't like them but like you said, I just want you to be safe." I kiss her cheek just before she takes a bite of her salad. I'm relieved seeing Flynn is helping her and I'm happy shes not upset anymore. Hopefully she'll remember this the next time the need to do one arises.
"Flynn also suggested I see Claude. Do you think you could set up a time for me to see him?" She asks.
"Yeah, of course, do you have a preference of when?" I ask happy she's going to be working on her health as well.
"Hopefully a weekend. Flynn said to try out a few things to see what I like best. I don't know how long that'll take." She admits.
"Okay."
"He also said I should meet with a dietician so I made an appointment for some to come here Friday." She admits shyly. 2 days from now is short notice for a background check but I'm sure Welch can do it. I just hope ana doesn't get upset about it. My face must show unease because I see Ana roll her eyes and smile. "You can have his info to do your check. But I assume since Flynn recommenced him that it'll be fine."
After she tells me what she knows of him I send the info off to Welch. We share some more small talk and it's not long before I feel recharged from my day. It's nice to see a glimpse of the happy Ana from before and for the first time in a while we both finish our meals.
APOV
Things between Christian and I are good Thursday and Friday and finally it's time for my meeting with the dietician. I'm nervous because I'm sure he's going to tell me to eat more and Christian won't be here. The background check came back all clear so he said for me and Gail to meet with him while Christian finished up work for the weekend.
"So Ana, since you said you don't like to eat in the morning how 'bout a smoothie instead. That way you can get some nutrients without having to feel like you're forcing a meal down." He suggests.
"Um sure I guess. What kind of stuff do you suggest in it?" I ask not hating the idea of starting the day with a smoothie.
"Well, I'd start with a base of frozen spinach and greens so you get some iron in, then a blend of frozen fruit for flavour and vitamin c, add in some bananas for potassium, some flaxseeds or chia seeds are good for some fibre, and top it off with water. Then you're good to go." He says.
"That sounds like a lot." I bite my lip nervously.
"Yeah it does. But think of it this way. Everything in there serves a purpose. I know you're worried about how much it'll effect your weight so for now we'll focus on only having things that have a purpose and that fuel your body. Once you're more comfortable with the way the food effects your body or not, weight wise, we'll look at adding more treats. I know you won't believe me just yet but a few treats once in a while won't mess up your progress." He says kindly.
He's right, I don't believe him yet but I nod anyway. He suggests a garden salad for lunch with cheese squares and chicken. Dinner is a little more flexible since that's a meal Christian and I usually eat together but he suggests some type of fish and some cooked veggies. By the end of our meeting I'm feeling okay. Lots of the foods are low calorie and high impact, and I try to remember to look at it as fuelling my body. If I use fuel foods rather than comfort foods or treat foods I won't have to worry about my weight because everything will balance out.