Title: Back Again:

Summary: The Bagginses make there way to Erebor, mirroring the journey that was once taken. Fem!Thorin Everybody Lives AU.

Requester: 666mewmew

"Bebother and confusticate these Dwarves!" Bilbo all but shouted as he stomped out of his own home. He spent the first few minutes pacing and grumbling in his garden before slumping on the bench, hands over his face and a low groan filling the air. What had the poor Hobbit so frustrated? The dozen Dwarves currently invading his house and emptying his pantry. And that's not to mention the Wizard that invited them in the first place and wasn't doing anything to help him! Well, the fresh air seemed to be doing him little good, but the quiet was certainly welcome…. Perhaps he should go back inside before they broke any-.

"So, you must be the Hobbit."

Bilbo uncovered his face and looked towards the direction the voice had come from. He immediately took notice of a thirteenth Dwarf staring at him from the other side of the gate. It was hard to get a good glimpse of him in the little moonlight, but he could make out black hair and a short beard and the furs draped over the Dwarf. The Hobbit tried his best not to grumble as he stood up. "If you're referring to the Hobbit that's currently getting his house destroyed by several Dwarves and a Wizard, then yes. I'm that Hobbit."

The new Dwarf glanced at Bag End with a degree of disinterest. "I sincerely hope my company hasn't inconvenienced you too much." It was difficult to ignore the sarcasm, but he somehow managed.

"Oh, you're the one in charge then? Wonderful! Perhaps you, sir, can help me wrangle them before they break something." Bilbo opened the gate for the newcomer and lead him through the garden and inside. The Hobbit's headache immediately set back in the moment he stepped back into his home. Before given the chance to announce his new guests arrival, two of the younger Dwarves (Fili and Kili were their names he believed) rushed past. A moment later, the elder of the two did a double take.

"Auntie!" Fili rushed over and actually hugged the new Dwarf, his brother not far behind. "It's so good to see you again, Auntie!"

Auntie? Bilbo did a double take when they referred to the Dwarf as such. He decided it was either a teasing insult or a difference in culture at work. That is, until the rest of the Dwarves plus Gandalf filed into the entryway. Balin, the oldest of the group spoke first. "My Lady, you're late."

"The meeting ran a bit longer than I thought it would. And I lost my way, twice."

"I-I'm sorry," Bilbo finally decided to speak up. "I must have misheard, but did he just call you 'my lady'?"

"Why, yes he did." The answer came from Gandalf, who had suddenly appeared behind him. "Bilbo Baggins, allow me to introduce the leader of our Company, Thorena Oakenshield."

Thorena smirked when the Hobbit began to gape. "The beard tends to mislead many, Master Baggins. Now tell me, have you done much fighting?"

"Papa, what's taking so long?"

Bilbo shook his head out of the past when he heard his daughter's call. He had one last look at Bag End's door; the house would be in the care of his cousin Drogo while they traveled to Erebor, but it didn't make it any less nerve wracking to leave it behind, considering what he'd come back to the last time he'd left. At the sane time though, the Hobbit felt a twinge of excitement; he was off on another adventure. An adventure he'd get to share with his family.

"Bilbo, are you coming or not?" The voice belonged to his wife this time.

"One second!" It was still hard to believe that they'd met right here, nearly eight years ago, and look at them now. Shutting the gate behind him, Bilbo hurried to catch up with Thorena and Bella, the loves of his life.

Well, wasn't this a fine mess they were in? Three hungry Trolls, ponies gone, the Company stripped to nothing but their long-johns, half of them turned on a rotisserie with the other half stuffed in sacks. But oh, it gets even better than that. Apparently they didn't have enough sacks to go around. It was then that one of the Trolls suggested shoving two Dwarves into one sack. So this was how the seven Dwarves and one Hobbit not slowing being cooked alive wound up paired off in sacks. And of course, said Hobbit just had to be stuck with HER.

"Would you mind rolling over? I don't fancy being crushed into jelly by a Dwarf."

"Shut it."

"Okay, just asking." It was bad enough that the Trolls stuffed him into the same sack as this miserable woman of a leader. But no, they felt like having the tiny little Hobbit squashed under the weight of said miserable woman. 'Make him extra soft and juicy' they said. And to make an awkward situation even worse, Bilbo was in nothing but his long-johns. "But-."

"You're the one that got us into this mess, Burglar," Thorena growled. "You'll suffer just like the rest of us."

Bilbo's eyes widened; the sheer audacity! "My fault?! Your the one that had us make camp next to three Trolls! And chased Gandalf off, might I add!"

"If it wasn't for you, we'd have passed them without a problem!"

"First of all, it was your nephews that put me up to it! Secondly, if it wasn't for me, our mode of transportation would still be on the menu!"

There was a strong jab at his side. "Quit your yapping!" one of the Trolls ordered before turning back to his compatriots. "And you two, forget the seasoning! We ain't got all night to be cooking them. It's nearly dawn, and I don't fancy being turned to stone."

Bilbo immediately went quiet, the wheels turning in his head. Suddenly, an idea popped into his mind. "Roll over."

"I told you-."

"Just do it!" Without waiting for a response, the Hobbit put all his strength into rolling the sack, along with it's two inhabitants, over. Thorena was on her back and Bilbo ignored the blood rushing to his face and ears as he put his plan into motion. "Wait!" He called to the Trolls. "You're making a terrible mistake!"

"You can't reason with them, they're halfwits!" The Dwarf under him protested.

"Halfwits? What does that make us then?" He brought his attention back to the Trolls. "I mean with the seasoning."

This seemed to pique their interest. "What about the seasoning?"

"Well, have you smelled them? It's gonna take something a lot stronger than sage to cover up this lot's stench." He ignored the sharp jab to his stomach.

"What do you know about cooking Dwarf?" another one of the Trolls asked.

"Oh, more than you do. You see there's a secret to cooking the perfect Dwarf, and that's to skin them first." This statement was met with quite a lot of protest from Trolls and Dwarves alike and a hate-filled glare from Thorena.

But then her eyes widened. She finally understood what he was doing. And, surprisingly, she joined in.

"Not that one!" she shouted when one of the brutes picked up the sack containing Kili and Bombur. "Those two are infected!"

Of course, this was all part of the plan. Together, Thorena and Bilbo had the Trolls arguing until Gandalf arrived, the morning sun not far behind. Soon enough, the Company was freed from their confinements while the Trolls sat in their stone prisons.

"Hope you didn't have too much fun in there with our burglar, Thorn," Bilbo heard Dwalin say, recognizing the Dwarf's nickname for their leader.

"Dwalin, I swear, one more crack like that and you're dragon fodder," was her response.

"C'mon, Papa!"

"For the last time, we are NOT going into that Troll Cave!"

"But I wanna find a pretty Elf sword for my quest!"

A hand was on the Hobbit's shoulder. "Let her have a little adventure," Thorena said. "The Elves of Rivendell cleared the cave of weapons a while ago; nothing to hurt herself on."

"I know, I'm not worried about her hurting herself. I worried that she'll stink of Troll for the rest of her days."

"I will wear my stink with pride!" Bella announced.

Neither parent could contain their laughter at the declaration for very long. Once the giggle fit had subsided, Thorena knelt down to their daughter's level. "You probably won't find any swords down there, but I remember Bofur, Gloin, and Nori buried a chest in there. Perhaps we can find it for them." The little Dwobbit positively beamed and ran into the cave before her father could stop her. "Coming?" The Dwarf asked her husband.

"…Fine." Bilbo had found out long ago that it was hard to say no to a child that was half Dwarf and partially a Took.

Yet it be said that Thorena dressed in Elven silks was an interesting site.

Bilbo would never admit it, but his breath was taken away the moment she'd entered the room in a long white gown. The dress was obviously not made for a Dwarf, but she wore it well. In fact, it was nice to see her at least partially embracing her feminine side…. No! He shouldn't be thinking such thoughts!

"Checking out my auntie, are you?"

Turned his head to face Kili, face beginning to flush. "T-That's not-."

"Eh, it's alright. Some have said she's a beauty amongst our race, especially in her younger days. I didn't think she'd somehow seduce a Hobbit of all things."

"Oh, who are you to talk about interracial relationships when you've been ogling the Elves since dinner started?!

Kili's face became red as one of Hamfast Gamgee's prized tomatoes. "I have not!"

"You have so and you know it!"

"Look, I don't fancy Elf maids. Too thin, all high cheek bones and creamy skin, not enough facial hair-." He paused when he noticed Bilbo's unconvinced look. "And I'm not afraid to admit that they're not so bad. Especially that one."

Bilbo took one look at the Elf the young Dwarf gestured to and could barely stop himself from laughing. "That's not an Elf maid."

Kili looked positively dead inside as the Dwarves at the table laughed at both him and the very male Elf he seemed to fancy. A few minutes later, the Hobbit nearly slapped himself for watching Thorena stomp out of the room.

CRASH!

Bilbo rushed up the stairs, heart pounding in his chest, to find Bella standing near several pieces of a broken sword knocked onto the ground. "Bella Thraina Baggins, what have you been doing?!"

The toddler was on the verge of tears. "I-I'm sorry. I j-just wanted to see what was on the tray. I climbed up, but then-." She hiccuped and began to cry all out.

The Hobbit knelt down and pulled his daughter into a hug. "Shh, it's okay. Are you hurt?" He felt her shake her head into his shoulder. "Good." They stayed like this for another minute before pulling away. "Now, let's get this mess cleaned up before your mother or Lord Elrond find out."

A few minutes later, the tray was laid back in the statue's hands and the shards of the sword were relatively in the right places. Hopefully the Elves wouldn't notice. As soon as the job was done, Bella ran off, presumably to find her mother. Bilbo made to follow after, but then the mural on the opposite wall caught his eye. Of course, he didn't know why at first, as he'd seen the painting already on his first journey to Erebor. That's when his eye was drawn to a certain spot on the mural; in all the black, white, and grey, there was a single splash of color in the painting on the black figure's finger-.

"Papa!"

"C-coming!" The Hobbit set off, daring one last look at the little golden band in the mural.

"I believe I owe you an apology, Master Baggins."

Bilbo was shook from his thoughts when the leader of their Company sat down beside them on Beorn's porch. He'd come out to have a moment of privacy with his pipe, but he found he didn't mind the Dwarf woman's company. "I thought you did all your apologizing up on the Carrock."

"Then allow me to do it again. I'm sorry I ever doubted your ability or your intentions."

"…Well, I can't really blame you. Not even the Tooks would be willing to come this far in their adventuring, and I can understand why you'd be hesitant to trust me."Thorena nodded, but didn't say anything after that. The next few minutes were spent in silence as Bilbo continued to smoke his pipe. Then a thought struck him as he was blowing a smoke ring. "Have you had Old Toby before?"

Thorena looked a bit shocked at the question. "Not in a long time."

"Well here." The Hobbit wiped off the mouth piece with the hem of his shirt and handed the pipe to her. The Dwarf woman took a look at the pipe and brought it to her mouth. An intake later and she was coughing. "Haha! Are you okay?"

"*cough* fine *cough*." She handed the pipe back to Bilbo, who happily went back to blowing smoke rings. For a while, anyway.

"So, what happens if- when we take back the Mountain?"

"…What do you mean?"

"I mean, what are you going to do?"

"Well, I'll be easing Fili into the role of king, attending to my own duties, rebuilding Erebor-."

"Would you try to settle down with someone?" Thorena seemed shocked by the question and Bilbo immediately regretted saying it out loud. "I'm sorry-."

"No, it's fine. As for your question…I suppose it depends."

"…D-depends on what."

She smiled out into the night. "On whether or not I find my One."

Apparently they'd caught Beorn at the worst time. Bilbo ran frantically towards the house, his daughter in his arms and his wife at his side. A mighty roar came from the tree line behind them and he knew they weren't going to make it. Already he heard the foot beats of the fearsome skin changer coming closer.

A shadow flying overhead made the group fall to the ground. The Hobbit felt Bella slip from his arms as he tumbled down. Thorena toppled onto him, frightened and out of breath. "Where's Bella?!" she shouted.

"I don't know!" Both parents stood and looked around frantically for their daughter. Bilbo then caught sight of the little Dwobbit…standing right in front of the large bear. Beorn gave another roar, face to face with her. Bilbo felt his heart stop as he lunged forward. "BELLA!"

Bella roared back.

The toddler yelled right at the skin changer, then giggled at his surprised look. She then proceeded to give him a kiss on the nose and hug his large head, as if he was just a dog.

Bilbo didn't see how the rest of the scene played out, as he had fainted in his wife's arms.

Barrels. That how they were getting out of here.

Bilbo was all over the place at this point, making sure everything was in place for their escape. Already he made sure the Dwarves wouldn't be caught leaving their cells (there was some sort of party going on upstairs). The he'd snagged a ring of keys from a very drunk Elf so he may actually open the cell doors. In all honesty, the Hobbit felt positively giddy; after nearly a month of hiding in the shadows, he was finally reuniting with the Company, with his friends, with-.

…With her.

Already he could hear their voices.

"I'll wager the sun's on the rise."

"We're never gonna reach the Mountain, are we?"

Bilbo practically leapt off the last step and slipped off his ring, revealing himself to the imprisoned Dwarves. "Not stuck in here, you're not," he said, holding up the ring of keys. He heard the Company's cheers as he struggled to unlock the first cell door. "Shut it! There're guards nearby!" The door opened. "Here, take some keys and-."

The Hobbit was silenced when he felt lips crash against his own. His eyes went wide when he saw Thorena pull away from him, beaming. "You are full of surprises, Master Baggins."

He could not for the life of him find the words to respond. Then he remembered that they still had to escape, so he shook his beat red head out of the stupor. "Okay, escaping, cellar, barrels, river, let's go." The next moments of floating down the river were a bit of a blur to the lovestruck Hobbit.

"I can see the resemblance quite clearly." Bilbo placed a hand on the shoulder of his fuming wife. The Bagginses had been forced to stop by the Elvenking's halls to restock supplies and Thorena was not in the least bit pleased. Bella seemed to understand her mother's mood, so she held tight to her little wooden sword as Thranduil introduced himself to her. "She's an adorable little one. (For a half breed)."

"You're a meanie."

The Elvenking froze. "What?"

"You're a meanie. You bullied Mama and her friends."

"W-well, there were certain circumstances that lead me to do what I did to your…Mama."

"You still weren't very nice."

"But surely you can understand that that's all in the past. Everyone has let bygones be bygones. Surely you can do the same." Thranduil went to give her what Bilbo assumed to be a pat on the head but bloody screamed as the little Dwobbit bit down on his hand and gave him a good whack to the knees with the wooded sword.

Well, if there's one thing the Elvenking taught Bella, it was a few Elven swears. Luckily Legolas was able to get them safely out before his father issued an order for the toddler's head. And the Hobbit swore he hadn't seen Thorena laugh so hard in…well, ever.

Bilbo was headed to bed. He'd had enough of parties and Dwarves and Masters for one night. Of course, he didn't expect to find Thorena sitting on his bed, waiting for him, when he finally got back to his room. "Thorena? What are you-?"

"I had a question for you. And I was anxious for an answer."

The Hobbit didn't really know what to say, electing to just take a seat beside her and here her out. Only she didn't say anything. Her face was flushed (though he couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or embarrassment) and she was staring at the ground. The echoes from the party could be heard through the floorboards as they sat awkwardly next to each other. Bilbo took a shaky breath; this could be his chance to ask his own question. "Uh, Thorena-."

"I was wondering if-."

They both froze as they interrupted each other. They shared a brief laugh then went back to silence. Finally, the Hobbit couldn't take it anymore. "Okay, how about this? We tell each other what we want to say at the same time, alright?"

"…Alright."

Alright. Three. Two. One.

"Would you consider courting me?"

The same exact question left both of them at the same time. For the next few moments they just stared at each other wide eyed. Then Thorena leaned down to catch Bilbo's lips. When they finally parted ways to breathe, the Hobbit only had one thing to say before continuing.

"Oh to hell with it."

Bilbo couldn't help but flush to remember how that night had ended. Both of them had been quite drunk, a bit lovesick, and most uncertain about whether they'd survive what was to come. Of course, the Hobbit had never regretted it; it was a nice moment before gold sickness and war drove them apart. Besides, if it hadn't been for those events, Bella wouldn't be here with them now.

"Are we there yet?" their little Dwobbit asked sleepily from atop her mother's shoulders.

"It's just past this hill," was Thorena's response. And indeed it was; it'd taken a while, but the Bagginses' journey was reaching an end. Once they reached the top of the rise, they were greeted by a glorious sight. The ruins of Dale the Hobbit had seen years ago were rebuilt and bustling, its markets full of vine and vale once again. Beyond the old city was a familiar gate, refurbished and standing strong.

"Welcome to Erebor, Bella Baggins," Bilbo said with a smile. Although he knew the little Dwobbit wouldn't be able to hear him; she'd already fallen asleep.

"Well, come on then," Thorena said. "Let's not keep my nephews waiting. You know how impatient they can get"

"Yes, quite right. And Thorena?"

"Yes?"

"Let's use the front door this time."