***I want to thank you all for bearing with me. I know some of you were upset by such a sad chapter after Jack and Elizabeth finally get together, however, life isn't always sunshine and rainbows. Death happens and it doesn't wait for us to be ready. That being said, I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones following. Stick with me***

A week later….

Elizabeth sat with Jack and the kids in William's study after Vi's funeral.

"I don't understand why you need to leave again, Beth."

"We both have jobs, Father. We have a home there and a life there. We can't stay here."

"You can live here and you wouldn't have to work, Beth. I'm sure I can find something for Jack to do too."

"Father, look, this isn't where I belong anymore."

"Mama," Helen said, climbing in her lap. That was the first time she hadn't called her Me-Me.

"Hi, sweetheart."

"Mama, hold."

Elizabeth held her tight which helped both of them. She had needed the extra love to get through the last week.

Sammy climbed up and sat between his parents and leaned against Jack. "Daddy, we go home now?"

"Soon, bud. Very soon."

Helen got down from Elizabeth's lap and walked over to William. "Hold pease?"

Elizabeth watched her father's face soften as he picked her up. Helen wrapped her arms around his neck and held on and William cried.

The week had been so difficult and Elizabeth couldn't imagine how horrible it would be to lose a child. Helen and Sammy were so deeply in her heart and losing them was unimaginable to her.

It was also very hard to see her father upset. He was always the strong, stern one.

"Is okay, Gumpa," Helen told him, concerned he was crying. "Is okay."

It wasn't ok but he soaked up his new granddaughter's love as if it would be, just because of her.

Jack took the kids to the washroom a few moments later and Elizabeth took the opportunity to talk with her Father alone.

"Father? Can I speak with you for a moment?" He nodded. She walked over and sat on his desk next to him. "I want to be honest about something and I hope you will do the same. When Paul died and I decided to move to Hope Valley, I felt very hurt that you didn't support my decision. I just want you to know the reason why I left."

"I know why."

"Do you?"

"Yes. I know that you wanted to start over where there weren't any bad memories."

"Yes and I also wanted to have a family but not here. I am not comfortable here, Father. I didn't want to marry someone from this circle just because I was expected to. I wanted it to be my choice."

"You made your choice. You have what you wanted."

"Yes, but I don't want you to be angry about it."

"I'm not."

"You keep asking me to stay when you know that I don't want to."

"I don't want to lose another daughter!" he blurted, his tears coming again. "I just buried one and now you are leaving me too. It's not supposed to be this way, Elizabeth. It's just not!"

"Father, I'm not leaving you forever. We will come visit you."

He stood and looked out the window. "It's not the same."

She walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist. He hugged her back and rested his chin on her head. "I love you, Father. You believe that, don't you?"

"Yes, dear. I know. It's just so hard to not see you every day and not know if are ok."

"I will write to you every week. Maybe you and Mother can come visit for Christmas. We would love to have you."

"I will speak with her."

…..

Three days later….

Elizabeth sighed as they walked into their home in Hope Valley. It was wonderful to be home again.

"Jack?"

"Yes, sweetheart."

"What if we spent Thanksgiving at the orphanage? Would that be okay with you?"

"That would be just fine."

"Thank you."

Jack put the trunk down and then stepped up close to her. "Honey, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not, but I'm trying to be." A single tear slipped down her cheek and she looked away.

"Come here." He wrapped her in his arms and held her. "I know what it's like, Elizabeth. I'm here if you want to talk at all."

She didn't want to talk so she stepped back and wiped her cheeks. "I'm going to see what we need for supper and then I will head to the mercantile. Will you watch the children?"

"Of course."

"Mama? I go?" Helen asked her when she was walking out the door. "Pease, Mama! I good."

Elizabeth picked her up and gave her a kiss. "You are a good girl, sweetie, but Mama needs to be alone for a few minutes. Can you stay with Daddy?"

"Mama home?"

"Yes, I'll come home very soon. I promise."

"Ok, Mama." Elizabeth gave her another kiss and put her on the floor and then shut the door behind her.

As she walked to the Mercantile her mind wandered to Viola and Charles and two year old Charlie. The poor child cried every night for his Mama. Elizabeth cried every night for her too. Growing up, Elizabeth had been closest to Julie, but Vi was still her sister, someone she looked up to. Now, all she had were memories and the guilt of not speaking with her for the past two years.

She wiped her cheeks as she walked into the Mercantile and took a deep breath. "Flour, eggs, butter and some kind of meat. Oh and coffee," she muttered to herself.

"Mrs. Thornton?"

"Jesse, you can call me Beth. No need for formality."

"Beth, I'm sorry to hear about your sister."

"Thank you, Jesse."

"If there is anything you need, let me know."

"Thank you." She put a small chicken in her basket along with a sack of flour. "Any eggs today?"

"Yes, ma'am. Fresh right here. How many would you like?"

"A dozen maybe? And I don't see any butter."

"Plum out. Mrs. Tyler hasn't brought any by lately."

"Ok then. I just need a sack of coffee and I'll be all set."

"Elizabeth?" Abigail said from the doorway.

"Hi," she greeted, her voice shaky. She had missed her friend.

"All set, Beth," Jesse told her.

"Thank you." Elizabeth walked toward Abigail and headed outside with her.

Abigail slipped her arm through Elizabeth's as they walked. "How are you doing?"

"I'm…not very good." The tears started again and Abigail led her the opposite way from home.

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"I just…I feel guilty. I hadn't spoken to her in so long."

"Not for lack of trying," Abigail pointed out.

"I know but the fact remains, I can't fix it now. She's gone. I'll never talk to her again."

"You arrived before she passed, right?"

"Yes, and of all things, she apologized to me. Apparently she had told Julie not to write back to me. They all felt abandoned when I left. And then there's Jack and our children."

"What about them?"

"I'm sure they're feeling neglected too. I mean Jack and I just started living our lives as husband and wife and now it's been almost two weeks and the kids…I can tell they miss me and they don't understand why I'm not the same as I was before."

"Elizabeth, listen to me." Abigail stopped walking and turned to face her. "Jack is fine. He understands what it's like to lose a sibling. He will be there ready and willing when you're ready again. And children are resilient. They know you love them and you're their mother and they will give you so much love whenever you need it."

Elizabeth nodded. She felt a little better.

"As far as your sister and parents, just resolve to do better. Write to them, visit them. Everything will work out."

….

Alberta

Julie walked Charlie around the room, trying to calm him. He missed his mother very much and didn't understand why she wasn't the one holding him.

Charles was at his wits end, dealing with raising him alone. He was dealing with his own grief all the while trying to deal with Charlie's. He had no idea how he was going to make it.

Charles slipped out of the room, not able to take another minute of the crying that was now his son's only emotion. He sat on the steps leading upstairs and cried. He was lost without Vi. She was such a wonderful mother and wife and now he had to somehow do both jobs of mother and father.

Charles' mother Edith walked down the stairs and sat next to him. "Son, it's going to be okay. I promise you." He sighed and leaned his head on her shoulder as if he was a child.

"Mom, I don't know how to get him through this. He's miserable."

"As are you, my love. When I lost your father, I was the same. We all are. You must just take it one day at a time and if that is too much take it one hour at a time." She held him for a few minutes, giving him love that only a mother had to give. "I'm here, Charles. If you need anything, I am here. And it appears that Charlie's Aunt Julie has succeeded in getting him to stop crying."

"Is it horrible that I am thanking God right now for that?"

"Of course not. He knows you love him he just doesn't understand why Viola isn't here. That's a blessing, really. He is very young so after a while, he just won't remember what happened."

Charles didn't want him to forget his mother but he knew she was right and Charles would try his best to get them both through it. One hour at a time.

….

Hope Valley

Elizabeth returned home after her conversation with Abigail. She felt a bit better after knowing that she was doing fine and what she was feeling was normal.

She also resolved to make the evening a good one for all involved. First thing, as she walked in the door, she smiled.

Jack saw her and smiled back. "Look, kids, Mama's home."

The children got up and ran to her, giving her big hugs. "Hi, babies. Thank you for your hugs!"

Jack walked over and gave her a kiss. "It seems your walk did the trick. Feeling better?"

"A bit yes."

"Good."

The kids ran back to their book and Elizabeth headed into the kitchen to start cooking the chicken.

"Need any help?" Jack asked.

"Not really. I'm just going to get this chicken in the oven and then go unpack the trunk."

"I already did."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I thought it might help you not be overwhelmed."

"It does. Thank you." She kissed his cheek and smiled.

"I meant what I told you earlier, sweetheart. I'm here to talk or whatever you need."

"I talked with Abigail and it helped. I feel better."

She washed her hands and headed into their bedroom to change clothes. He followed.

"You talked with Abigail?"

"Yes. She lost a husband before and she's one of my best friends."

"I've lost a sibling and my father. I thought I was your best friend."

"I know and you are, Jack."

"Why wouldn't you talk to me? You've barely talked to me for the last almost two weeks and I've offered so many times. I'm your husband, Elizabeth."

"I know you are. She found me at the store and we took a walk."

"I'm going to go for my own walk now. I'll be back later."

"Will you be here for dinner?"

"I don't know." She watched him leave the room hurt. That hadn't been her intent. The last thing she wanted was anyone to be hurt.

She finished changing and walked into the living room to see the children.

….

Jack walked to the stream behind the orphanage. He sat on the grass under the tree where he and Elizabeth and the children had their numerous picnics.

He was pretty sure he had overreacted to Elizabeth's conversation with Abigail. The whole trip had been so difficult. So many emotions flowed through that family. Sadness, guilt, anger. All of it brought back his own feelings of loss. He had forced himself to be strong for Elizabeth and the children but now, he didn't know what to do with them. Apparently getting angry at Elizabeth was how it manifested itself.

"Hey, Jack."

Bill Avery had walked up and Jack hadn't noticed. "Hi, Bill."

"May I join you?" Jack gestured for him to have a seat. "How are you doing?"

"Fine."

"Really?"

"No. I guess I am frustrated."

"Frustrated about what?"

"Elizabeth's sister died, you know? I tried to be a good husband and father and be there for her and I offered numerous times to talk with her about whatever she needed. She never took me up on it. So today, we got home and I could tell she was miserable and so I offered again. Instead, she took a walk by herself to the store so I watched the kids. When she came home, she told me she talked to Abigail and she is feeling a little better now."

"And you feel like she should have talked to you."

"Yes! Am I wrong to feel that way?"

"Of course not. A wife should talk to her husband."

"But…."

"This marriage of yours, how was it going before her sister died?"

"Great. At least I thought so. We always get along and we were happy and the kids were happy."

"Did you and Elizabeth talk a lot then?"

"Yeah. She's my best friend. We talked every night, read together every night. I don't see why that matters."

"Are there things that she doesn't know about you?"

"I suppose there is."

"Why haven't you told her?"

"I don't know, but this is important, Bill. I was there for her when her sister passed and I did all I could to tell her I cared. Why choose Abigail over me?"

"Do you love her, Jack?"

"Yes. Very much."

"Love is patient."

"Yes. I know. I am a patient man."

"Continue to be patient. Listen to what she is telling you."

"She didn't tell me anything. She told Abigail."

"Okay, then listen to what she isn't telling you. Maybe there is a reason that she chose Abigail." Bill stood up and placed his hand on Jack's shoulder. "See you Sunday at service?"

"Yes. Thank you, Bill." Now, not only was Jack frustrated, he was confused. The only thing he could think of to do was go home and talk to Elizabeth. That's what he wanted, after all.