Thank you for sticking with it! I promise that my E/O friends will get their fix soon, as well as a twist that some of you probably figured out already.

Chapter 3

Pelican Point Resort & Spa: 6:30 a.m.

Elliot squeezed his eyes shut, just shortly after opening them. The bright morning sun reflected off the lake and in through the window. Elliot rolled his head to the other side of the bed. He reached his hand out and felt the warmth under the thick duvet. He missed the warmth of another body in his bed, curled up against his side, tucked snuggly against his own. He wanted one person, more than anything, to take her place in his beside him. Elliot looked at the clock. His alarm wasn't set to go off for another half hour. He wasn't sure what had woken him up, but now that he lay aware of his empty bed, he would have a hard time getting back to sleep. Elliot rose from the bed and made his way over to the bathroom. He opted for a nice warm shower to ease the tension forming from his fears of the day may bring. He knew that the emotional counselling session would be difficult, but he hoped he was fearing more than he needed to.

After his shower, Elliot dressed in a casual pair of Khaki shorts, an NYPD T-Shirt and a pair of Sanuks. He grabbed his phone and room key from his nightstand and headed to the hallway. As he passed Olivia's door, he contemplated knocking to see if she was up. He decided against it, assuming that Olivia may want a few more minutes of sleep.

Elliot slowly made his way down to the restaurant, stopping to glance at views or the occasional hotel picture. As he entered the restaurant, he spied Kyle speaking to some of the wait staff. Kyle spotted him as well and dismissed himself from the group.

"Ahh! Elliot! How was your first night?" Kyle asked.

"Very good thank-you." Elliot replied.

"I'm glad to hear it! If you would like to join the rest of your team, a few have already occupied your table on the patio." Kyle pointed through the French doors, "I will send someone over right away to get your order."

Elliot nodded graciously, and headed in the direction of Kyle's gesture. He was curious to see who was already awake from his team.

"Good Morning Cap!" Elliot extended his hand as he approached the table. Don took his hand for a quick shake.

"Elliot, how was your night?"

"Really good. I slept like a baby." Elliot chuckled, "and you?"

"It was very peaceful, thank-you."

Elliot sat back in the cushioned lounge chair feeling the heat of the sun, already rushing against his skin. "Feels like it's going to be a warm day."

Before Don could reply a tall, stalky waiter approached the table, "Good morning sir, can I get you something to drink?"

"Yes, can I have a black coffee please?" Elliot ordered.

"For sure! And can I have the kitchen make you something to eat?"

Elliot's eyes glanced to the long menu and then the table before him. Don had an omelette and the missing occupant of the chair beside Elliot seemed to be having toast, "I'll just get two pieces of whole wheat toast."

"I will get that going for you right away. Also feel free to enjoy the fresh fruit at our fruit bar." The waiter grabbed Elliot's menu and headed towards the kitchen.

"I was speaking to some of the other Captains this morning. A few have been here with their squad and said that they've noticed a difference in the cohesion of the team after the four days." Don explained.

"That's good. At least One-P-P will get what they are paying for."

"And so should we. Don't forget Elliot, One-P-P is footing a very large bill to have us here. Take advantage of it. Go get a massage or order room service!" Don smiled.

"You planning on hitting the spa Don?" Elliot chuckled.

"Well. Let's just say, I am planning to use every service and attend every event. It's free to us, and a little mental health care is exactly what I plan on getting from this trip." Don said, his tone becoming serious.

Elliot nodded in consideration. He had to agree that it would be silly to waste an opportunity such as this.

"I'm going to check out the fruit bar, can I get you anything?" Elliot said, changing the subject that he had become uncomfortable with.

"No, Thank-you. I'm going to head back and finish getting ready. I will see you in the banquet hall in a half hour."

"For sure. See you in a bit Cap." Elliot watched Don disappear before standing and locating the fruit bar. The buffet style fruit bar, had an incredible variety of local and imported fruit to choose from, with various toppings. Near the berries, Elliot spotted a familiar enchanting figure. Moving close enough to count the freckles on her shoulder, Elliot bent down and whispered in her ear, "How'd you sleep?"

Olivia jumped at the close proximity, but relaxed when she smelt his familiar bodywash. She turned her head slightly, avoiding his eyes, "Best sleep I've ever had."

Elliot smiled widely and moved beside her, "You're up early. I was going to knock, but I thought you might've caught another hour of sleep."

"Nah, the natural light always wakes me with the sunrise. I was able to watch it this morning before I got ready. It was breathtaking." Olivia hummed.

"You should wake me next time. I'll watch the sunrise with you." Elliot's smirk becoming playful.

Olivia grinned, "yeah. Okay. I know what happens when you are woke from a nap. I don't want to see the man child you become if I wake you early for a sunrise."

Elliot laughed, "Hah, you may speak some truth. "

The two detectives ate their breakfasts and were soon joined by Munch and Fin. Both detectives agreed that their sleep had been perfect and expressed disinterest in the mandatory events of the day.

After enjoying their breakfast and the warm morning sun, the team of detectives made their way to the banquet hall to find their seats. The hall was full of law enforcement teams from around North America. Teams sat at reserved circular tables, labeled with their locations and titles. NYPD-SVU was sat a table on the edge of the room, near a wall of windows looking out into the trees. The five detectives sat at the round table with a group of officers from a local RCMP depot. The officers and detectives introduced themselves and swapped pleasantries.

"Welcome! I want to welcome each and every one of you personally, and I hope to have the opportunity to do so over the next four days." A large, well-built man boomed over the microphone. "My name is Terrance Beatsy, or Terry. I am a retired RCMP officer, a retired private investigator, and now, I am the founder and head supervisor of E.R.T.S, Emotional Response and Team Support. I am very excited to see how each of you will contribute to the growth and development here, as well as how you are able to take it with you when you return to your posts. Today might be a heavy day for some of you, as I'm sure you've been warned and some of you, dreading. Today you will each sit down with a counseller to discuss your emotional response to certain scenarios and what this makes possible for you and your team. Please be advised, absolutely nothing you say hear is reported back to your departments or any other persons. This is completely confidential. That being said, there might be some heavy conversations and we want you guys to take care of yourselves. This beautiful hotel and spa is here for you to find peace and relaxation amidst the stresses that come with our lives and jobs. This morning we have a presentation for you on emotional response and dealing with differing and sometimes conflicting styles. This is the most we will ask you to sit in this room for the entire conference, so please bear with us. There is coffee, pastries and other snacks available at the back of the room. Please take advantage of the amazing food services we have here. Without further ado, please welcome Dr. Dennis Holdstein."

Dr Holdstein was dull. Olivia's eyes flutter from the table, to the window, to her partner and repeat. Holdstein has been speaking for almost 45 minutes, but Olivia's stamina for listening to monotone cookie cutter conference speakers had greatly decreased since college. Elliot seemed to be paying attention. She watched him, his eyes fixed on the screen, never leaving the presentation. She couldn't imagine that he was actually enjoying this. Knowing him as well as she did, he was probably obsessing over the upcoming counsellor sessions and what they might include. Olivia had to hold herself back from reaching out for him, wanting to ease his nerves. Elliot looked at her while she was mid restraint. Busted. He gave her a wide grin, knowing full well she'd been staring at him for the majority of Dr Holdstein's talk.

Two more presentations and an itinerary handout, and the detectives were finally free. They enjoyed a late lunch together before separating to enjoy any free time they had before their sessions. As they neared their rooms, Elliot, Fin, and Olivia discussed the itinerary.

"Some of the RCMP told me that we're going to have some actual fun tommorow. A few were here last year and said that they had laser tag!"

Elliot chuckled at Fin's excitement.

"I can't wait to see Munch play laser tag!" Olivia laughed, elbowing Elliot softly.

Elliot looked into her eyes. Olivia seemed so at ease since they had landed in Saskatoon. Her brown eyes showed some relief, but also told the story of long nights, hard cases, and emotional drain. "I can't wait to kick his ass."

Shortly after 4:00, Olivia emerged from her room to go meet her session counsellor. Following their late lunch, Olivia and Fin went for a walk down the beach. Olivia had spent the last 45 minutes of free time anxiously waiting for Elliot's return from his session. The whole squad had obviously been nervous as to the content and process of these sessions, but Elliot had been exceptionally anxious.

As she rounded a hallway corner, she nearly ran right into Elliot.

"Oh El!," she looked up at him, hoping to find something in his face, "How'd it go?"

Elliot's face remained flat. Without any eye contact, he placed his hands on Olivia's upper arms, shifted to the space beside her and walked passed. As he released her arms, Elliot forced out a small and quiet, "fine."

Olivia stood frozen, listening to his disappearing foot prints. The cold shiver that accompanied Elliot's response, ran up and down Olivia's spine. Even though his physical body had departed, the dark, cold aura lingered on Olivia's arms where his hands had once been. Olivia's mind spun and her shoulders slumped under an enormous weight. Her heart wanted to be hurt that he had dismissed her support, but her brain forced her to take one step, and then another, until she reached the meeting room where she had been instructed to meet at 4:15 p.m.

'You're such an idiot!' Elliot told himself in the bathroom mirror. After leaving his session with Dr Rineker, Elliot's mind was fixed on getting to his hotel room and into the shower. He kept his eyes fixed on the leaf patterned carpet and put one foot ahead of the other. Rounding the last corner of the hallway, he ran into Olivia. Her familiar scent and presence identified her before he even looked up. She had asked him how his session went. Her presence was already working to calm his anxiety, but the storm inside his mind and the rage running through his veins threatened to take over. Elliot tried to ground himself, placing his hands on Olivia's arms, trying to feel his feet on the floor. He could feel her muscles twitch under his hands, bringing him back to the hallway. Regret filled his body instantly as he stepped around her and headed for his room. He had immediately turned the shower to hot, stripped his clothes and walked under the burning stream. Elliot stood under the stream replaying his session and his encounter with Olivia over and over, until the steam in the bathroom began to strain his breath.

Now Elliot stood, mentally kicking himself for begin so cold. Why couldn't he let her in? Why did he continue to shut her off from this piece of him? Elliot and Olivia has been partners for years, but they were so much more than partners. Now, and then. Before and after their disagreements, transfers, and even Elliot's marriage. Olivia had always been his center. When everything spiraled out of control around him, she was there to bring him back to a still and help him through. But that could only happen when he let himself accept her support and accept that he needed support. That was what everything came back too. To quote Dr. Rineker, "you need to be able to admit that things are not okay, when they are not, and accept the support that you have around you." If he couldn't do that, Elliot feared he would lose everything. His sanity, his job, and worst of all...

"Where's Olivia?" Elliot asked approaching the squad. Munch, Fin, and Donald were sitting at their patio table.

"I saw her as I was coming down. She looked kind of upset, but she said she wanted to take a quick nap before supper. That was about an hour ago." Munch informed the group.

Elliot's eyes scanned the restaurant and gardens outside.

"El? Are you going to join us?" Fin asked.

"Um. No. I am going to go for a walk, I'll grab a bite later! Enjoy!" Elliot turned on his heel and made his way back towards their rooms

Elliot knocked lightly on Olivia's door.

"Liv?"

With no answer. He knocked a little louder. "Olivia?" Still no answer.

Becoming slightly worried Elliot retrieved the key card she had given him out of his back pocket. Elliot gently pushed the door open, not wanting to frighten her if she was inside.

Elliot looked into the bathroom and peered over at the bed. Empty. Where would she have gone? He stood beside her bed and glanced out the big window she had drawn open. The sun had begun setting over the lake, setting the sky on fire with bright oranges and reds.

Of course.

Elliot returned to his own room and grabbed two chilled beer from the mini fridge, and the throw blanket off the foot of his bed. He made his way down to the lobby, through the gardens and onto the beach. The warm grains of sand lightly scratched his soles as he crossed the beach to the long wooden dock. At the very end sat a brunette detective; brown eyes watching the sky begin to come alive. Elliot took in the figure in front of him, making a memory of this image. Olivia's hair sat wavy at her shoulders, brushing against her navy T-Shirt. The sky reflected off the water onto her face, down her arms, and across the long toned legs peaking out from her white denim shorts. Her physical beauty, along with the mental and emotional beauty he was fortunate to know, demanded that his body react whenever she was around. Elliot scolded himself for checking her out when he had come to apologize to her.

Elliot reached the end of the dock and cleared his throat lightly, "Uh, may I sit with you?" He asked, almost shy.

Olivia startled a little, but she gave him a smile and shifted to give him some space.

Elliot took a seat, removed the caps off the bottles and handed one to her.

Olivia eyed the bottle and smirked. "You know the hotel probably charges $20 a bottle hey?"

Elliot heard the playfulness in her voice, "I figure it's another FU to One-P-P when they get their bill." Elliot was relieved to see her smiling.

Olivia chuckled and took a long swig from the chilled bottle. They sat in silence, watching the lake. People on boats sat in the distance. Pelicans flew overhead, and every once and awhile they could hear the splash of a fish jumping up to the surface of the water. Elliot picked at the label on his bottle.

"I'm sorry Liv." Elliot said quietly. So quiet that Elliot wasn't sure that she heard it.

Olivia turned her head quickly, "for what?"

"For being a jerk this morning, in the hallway..."

"El, it's fine, I didn't take it personally ..."

"And for all the other times."

"What other time?" Olivia asked. When Elliot hesitated, Olivia lightened the mood, "You need to be more specific, you're a jackass often."

Elliot laughed, finally looking over to her. "I believe I said jerk...but it's true. I get so focused on hiding what I'm feeling and pretending that everything is fine, that I... Dr. Rineker says that I need to start admitting when things aren't okay and accept support from others or else I'm going to keep hurting myself, and people... and I'm going to keep hurting you."

Olivia shifted is she could face him completely, "Elliot Stabler, we've had our fights and disagreements, and we've had our... breaks, from each other, but you have never hurt me. Do you understand me? You have never made me feel anything but safe."

Elliot blinked a few times before running his hands over his eyes, "I just, after I ran into you in the hall I felt so guilty, and then Munch said you were upset..."

"Munch?" Olivia snickered, "You're kicking yourself because Munch saw me upset?"

"You weren't?"

Olivia shifted back to look at the water, letting out a long sigh, "I was upset, but it wasn't because of you. I knew you had some stuff on your mind and I gave you space to think it through."

"I pushed you away. Like I always do, wait... what happened?" Concern filling Elliot's voice.

"It was..." Olivia looked at Elliot," it was hard, the session. It ..."

Olivia smiled, holding back tears that threatened to form. Elliot didn't miss this. He moved closer beside her, opening the throw blanket and wrapping his arm and the blanket around her shoulders. He pulled her against his side. He felt goosebumps on her arms and she shivered against his warmth.

"I just didn't realize how much I absorb during these cases you know? I mean, my childhood sucked, my father sucked. I've been stabbed, assaulted, and manipulated. With all of that, my emotional response is fine. But..." Olivia trailed off.

"But?" Elliot encouraged.

"But I just feel so drained after cases. Every time a victim describes their worst experiences, I find myself taking on the shame and the sorrow that these poor people are going through. And then, when I have a chance to think about it, I realize how stupid I am for feeling this way. That it's not about me, it's about them, and I need to focus on them."

"You're compassionate, and empathetic, and an incredibly strong and caring person Liv. You have a right to feel feelings, and to admit when they are weighing on you."

"That's what Rinecker said." Olivia said flatly, "and then I told him... that I've been thinking... that maybe I should leave SVU."