AN: You may notice that there's even more words this chapter than the last post, I'm not doing this on purpose I just think that's interesting, but I don't imagine there being mountains of text in later chapters, I'll probably top out around 10K each chapter, sorry if that bothers anyone I guess XD.
Wildest Son
AN: Hope you haven't forgotten that I don't own any of these characters or properties. Have a good day Shonen Jump, and help me have a good one by not suing me.
Wildest Son
Romance Dawn Part 3/3
Chapter 3
In the New World
A giant of a man knelt down on one knee in deep thought. He was aboard a massive ship with a sail bearing his own mark, a skull with the same crescent mustache the muscular man had on his own face. He rubbed his tired eyes, grinning at the incredible ensemble of pirates before him. "My sons, my daughters, we're heading East," Edward Newgate explained to the group, and a great deal were shocked, some even gasped, but all remained, all eyes kept trained on their Captain. He went on, "I think it's time we see how well our allies will fair on these seas alone for a while, we won't be gone long -"
"But Pops, why would we go to the East Blue? Nothing's out there, no one to fight, no treasure to find, why?" Someone in the crowd asked in a husky, nervous voice, though everyone else was hushed as this had been on their minds as well, even the most unquestioning of them had heard this thought whispered in the backs of their heads. There were dozens of people, men, women, the elderly, children, humans and races beyond some imagining of the people in the East Blue. Those of the Fishman and Merfolk persuasion were a bit more hesitant than the rest, but still listened to what their Captain had to say, albeit nervously.
These kids have no idea how vast even the smallest parts of this world are, how much each patch of dirt, how much each and every inch of this beautiful sea can contain. There are mysteries beyond what even Roger could have ever experienced. That Will, that Will is what we can find in the East, and with it, so much more. Whitebeard thought to himself, then spoke after a slight cough to hush what few soft murmurs had developed in the group, "I think you all need another brother." A blond man in a purple jacket inhaled sharply, but his bird-like eyes never left his father's. Marco was the last member of the Whitebeard Pirates to question their namesake caretaker's instincts and plans. If Pops said to go to the East Blue, they would go to the East Blue, no matter why; but even the Phoenix was shocked by this. Pops has never just decided to get another person onto the crew, they just sort of fall in, either allies or mates, but they're always family. You don't just decide to get more family though, we were just going to the East Blue to find something about Roger, that's where he was born after all, but this? This is too weird, Marco was in deep thought when he realized his Captain was staring at him.
Whitebeard nodded to his First Mate and walked into his Cabin. Marco dusted himself off and walked in front of the crowd addressing them, "Alright, anyone willing to stay behind can remain on one of the main Armada, only the flag ship will be coming, Pops has told me the plan, we'll be exploring the East in search of possible new outlets for us and something that Roger left behind, we will be sailing through the Calm Belt and will be stopping first at Loguetown, than going as far as the Goa Kingdom before returning in less than a month." As the First Division Commander concluded, a brunette with an impressive pompadour and a goattee grinned up at him, while behind him a tanned and robustly bellied man nodded up at Marco, and with that, their new mission had the support of Thatch and the man known as Marshall D. Teach.
Wildest Son
Within his cabin, Newgate pulled out an old, dusty Transponder Snail, he grumbled, "These damned things," His massive fingers fumbled around the device-creature, which squirmed and seemed to complain as much as he did. What Roger was talking about, the Will of D, there's more to it than most know. That Marine Hero Garp, Monkey D. Garp, was from the East Blue, just like Gol D. Roger and Teach, he's also bearing the name as well, but he doesn't have the same ambition that Roger and Garp had. It's been a long time since I've come across a Marine like him, long time since they've made many men like him. I've got to find someone to carry that Will, the dream that never dies, that thing that Roger left behind. As his thoughts wondered about, Whitebeard's clumsy hands still struggled with the communicator, eventually managing to punch and slide in the right combination and he put the mouth end up to his phone and murmured, "Ahoy Monkey D. Garp, I would have your hometown get their best sake ready gurararara-"
Wildest Son
Fuschia Village, Goa Kingdom
The wind blows from the East, and the village is at peace. However, just outside a booming bar, a few pirates watched as a small boy challenged, "Whaddya want with my grandpa? If you want a fight I'll give it to you!" This boy wore a t-shirt with a drawing of anchor written on it, his black hair wild on his head, a fierce pride in his eyes burning with as much adventurousness as it was with frustration. Voices thundered from the bar, nearly overpowering the boy's aggrevation with the sounds of the merriment within. Four pirates were outside the bar, the one being questioned by the child was none other than Edward Newgate himself, who'd asked the kind bartender about Monkey D. Garp as he and his crew and thirstily rushed in. They'd quickly filled the entire establishment, but luckily most of the town had quite literally run for the hills when they saw the flag and mark on the mast of the massive Gallion that came ashore. That would have been the entirety of the Village had a single tavern owner, a woman named Makino had not been determined to stay, and thus, Luffy, the young boy who'd brazenly challenged the Strongest Man Alive to a fight, had also been equally made up to not leave her behind; And of course if Luffy demanded to stay, the Mayor, a middle-aged man who'd taken it upon himself to keep the boy out of trouble while his grandfather was away, was also bound to remain, though currently he was too busy taking orders and cleaning dishes and delivering liquor and beer to the occupying pirates (some of whom were far from human) to have even been aware of the youngster's circumstance.
Edward Newgate sat on a barrel, eyed the boy, and chuckled, "So this cheeky kid is Garp's grandson huh? Sure doesn't look like much," He addressed his remark to the much smaller man, Marco, beside him, who smiled cheerfully at the now even more flustered boy. The blond's bare chest showed a tattoo, the partial silhouette of his Captain's Jolly Roger, Luffy couldn't help but stare at it. On the opposite side of Whitebeard was Teach, whose potbelly extended to the point of nearly bursting his tried trousers beneath his stretched vest, he sipped out of a mug while watching the boy eagerly. Marco thought, Teach always seems to enjoy it when these small fries think they can stand up to Pops. These things never last long anyway, might as well let the kid have his fun for a bit. I can always just heal him up like I usually do when Pops gets carried away with the fun.
The last of the quartet was the suave dandy who stood at Luffy's back, delicately cutting a steak with one hand and slicking his pompadour back with the other, and he too watched the young challenger, seeming to be completely unaware of the oddly colored, ominously glowing purple plant that was partially visible from the sack dangling from the string tied around his waist. Thatch had wanted to show off his rare prize to people on the island, to brag about the fruit; he would've gotten a kick out of the look on any of these small town hicks' faces when he explained what it was; Hell, the first island they'd stopped at in East Blue the people there hadn't even known what a Devil Fruit was, and that was a trip but they'd all gone long before they even saw Whitebeard himself. Pops's reputation sure presides him, Thatch sighed, then went back to watching the little fighter.
"I'm the toughest fighter in this whole Village! I can beat anyone on your stinking crew," Luffy cried to Newgate, who mockingly pretended to grow bored of the boys antics, but he asked with a glimmer in his eye, "What did you say your name was pipsqueak?"
"My name's Monkey D. Luffy!"
Marco looked at Teach, who only laughed at how easily the boy had made his declaration, and Thatch stopped chewing on his food, whilst even the bar seemed to quiet itself. A boy with the Will of D, he had no idea the weight that his own name even carried, beyond merely the familial ties to his grandfather, or even the father he'd never known, this was the thing that the Emperor had been searching for. But he played it cool, Whitebeard shrugged, "So you're going to grow up to be another uptight Marine weakling like your Grandpa huh?"
Luffy fumed, "My Grandpa Garp isn't weak! He could take you down any day of the week. And I'm not gonna be a Marine, I'm gonna be a pirate and I'm already even stronger than you are! But when I become a pirate my crew will be just as big as your's but even better!"
"Is that so boy?" Newgate got up from his seat, stretching and cracking his aching bones, "Marco if this lasts less than 5 seconds, you owe me a barrel of the best ale they've got on this island," his First Mate smirked and sighed, "You got it Pops, you cheap sonuvabitch; just go easy on the kid, will ya?"
"Oh Thatch, if it goes longer than 5 seconds, you're buying me and the kid dinner."
Then the near-riot levels of noise returned to the bar, and Luffy growled, "I'll take you down, I don't need anybody to go easy on me!"
Marco watched as Luffy charged fearlessly at one of the Four Emperors of the Sea, and took a wild swing of his fist which Whitebeard easily sidestepped, and the boy fell just as harmlessly as he had appeared to be to the pirates. Thatch went back to eating, just before Luffy sprang up to his feet, this time aiming a high kick at the much larger man's right knee, only for Whitebeard to return with a backhand, which sent the boy skidding through the gravel onto his butt. "I see flies in my breakfast bigger than you boy, I'd stay down in the dirt if I were you, you get less bruised that way, little peach," Whitebeard taunted, and Thatch laughed at this.
Luffy's cheek had already inflated slightly, though he could tell the old man hadn't even broken a sweat, which only made him more pissed. The youth screamed while running at him again, only this time Newgate swept his legs out from under the boy in a move impossibly nimble for a being of his size and age. Luffy smacked his face off the dirt, only to grit his teeth and go again. Pops left his bisento on the ship with Squard, Marco recalled, He wanted to come in peace, but I guess some people will wanna fight you no matter how you look. This kid just keeps getting back up though, must be in the name, even though Pops is holding way back, a few of those hits would hurt an adult let alone some shrimpy kid...
Then the First Mate watched as his Captain knocked the boy senseless with the open palm of his massive hand, easily knocking the boy onto his ass again, but Luffy would keep getting up, each time slightly more dirty and more bruised and more tired than before. Each time he got up, his anger burned brighter, and each time the fall would seem conclusive, but the accompanying thump would only lead to more and more of the pirates leaving the bar to watch the 'brawl' just outside the door. Thatch had scooted over for a blue fish-like thing to sit beside him, eying his half eaten steak intensely until Luffy sprang at Edward again, then everyone's attention went to them.
Fearlessly and seemingly endlessly, the young boy would charge again and again and again, no matter how hard Whitebeard would swat him, Luffy kept going, and even night fell before Luffy's will to fight did.
"You'll never be a pirate while you're so weak boy, you're not even on the same level -" Newgate attempted to finish but he felt a stiff elbow slam into his shin. While it didn't hurt, he felt the pride behind the blow; the will driven by ferocity, the potential*. This was the same energy he'd felt when he'd come to blows with Roger all those years ago, so many times. Garp would be just the same he imagined. Marco noted the elbow, and everyone was silent, the Mayor busted out of the bar with the bartender, whose lovely green hair framed her face perfectly, as Marco saw it anyway, but neither the innkeeper nor her newfound worker could muster out a word of their protest when they saw the scene.
Luffy growled, "I will be the King of the Pirates, I'll be stronger than you ever will!" His words echoed through the now ghost-like town, the only thing attempting to pierce the palpable silence spread throughout what seemed like the entire world at that moment. So this is what the D is, Marco realized, Could this be what Pops came here for? Luffy was now bleeding out of a few cuts, scraped up on both knees and bruised all over, sweat soaked through his shirt, but his triumphant elbow didn't budge a microimpression of an inch, even as the milliseconds that went by were stretched to infinity.
It was Whitebeard who spoke first, cackling, "GURARARARA! And so you will Luffy, you've fought well, beating me like that -" Whitebeard crashed to the ground, howling, on his back, "This is the first time in a long time since I've been knocked on my ass! Gurarara!" He sat up, a twinkle in his eye again, Marco grinned while Thatch and Teach both laughed with their Captain. Newgate pounded his fist in the air, "Let's eat, Thatch agreed to pay for me and Luffy!"
They charge into the bar, with Makino having the common sense to scamper in ahead of the crowd, while the poor Mayor was nearly trampled by the incoming pirates. Marco began to tend to Luffy's wounds, pulling out bandage wraps before the boy stopped him while he held out his hand, but the boy stopped him, saying, "I don't need any of that stupid stuff," the blond shrugged and turned to face the bar, he sat on Luffy's left, while on the boy's other side looking quite ridiculous perched on the too small stool was Edward Newgate himself, who glugged down a barrel of booze with ease, though some of the ease was likely due to it being on Thatch's meal ticket. He sighed, "Jeez, Oden sure would have loved it here, so peaceful - quiet enough for that bastard too. Curiel maybe not so much, but he's running free in the New World right now gurara."
On Marco's left, taking up the last seat at the front of the bar was Teach, who noted the crew's missing cook. Thatch must be outside looking at the stars alone like a damned fool – Damn it, not now though, East Blue is too far from home, too far from everything for me to do myself much good by going for it now. No, not now. I have to wait, Teach grumbled to himself as he munched on a cherry pie, scarfing the thing down in three gulps. He scowled, but other than that, made no sign of disatisfaction. None could have imagined what he was capable of; no one on the crew could have considered the blackness that grew within his soul with each passing day.
Luffy also seemed to see the other man's absence and got up from his seat, "I wanna see what that guy with the bag is doing." He walked out the bar, and was about to be followed by the Mayor, who started after him but was grabbed by Makino, who smiled and murmured, "He's safe, don't worry."
Hearing the door of the bar creak open, Thatch looked at the boy who emerged. Still sweaty and clearly sore, Luffy trudged over, plopping to the ground next to Thatch, whose finished plate was sitting next to him on a crate. Thatch's eyes returned to the brilliantly dotted skies, a matching smile on his face, but he returned to Luffy soon enough, "Hey, do you wanna see something cool?"
Thatch undid the tight knot tying his sack to his waistband, pulling out the odd plant Luffy had seen a glimpse of earlier. He snickered, "Do you know what this is?" The boy shook his head while his mouth was agape, he stared at the purple hypnotic swirls within the odd thing, almost not hearing as the older man explained, "This is a Devil Fruit: it's a cursed fruit, and there's hundreds of different kinds, one bite and you'll get a special power, but no two are exactly the same. Only catch is, after you eat these you can't swim, when you get submerged you become so tired you can't get the energy to move. It's pretty dangerous, but the power is amazing enough to be worth it."
Following his explaination Thatch's dreamy head returned to the stars, amazed at the sight, he was about to say something else, only to hear a moist crunching sound which were followed by a gag and a groan of disgust. He looked down, seeing Luffy with a mouthful of Devil Fruit. Eyes the size of saucers, Thatch returned to normal when he saw Luffy nearly vomit, the boy choked, "That – was disgusting!" Thatch chuckled, "You know, I've held onto that thing for about a year now, it was my most prized possession..." He tossed the half eaten fruit into a waste basket as he continued.
"I read a book about it when I first found it, I didn't eat it because I didn't want to become what the book talked about, but I think whoever wrote it was full of shit. There's no power in this world that makes someone evil, you become evil because of what you do with power. I'm glad you ate it Little Bro, now it's off my mind and I can worry about more important things. It'll help you get strong anyway, you just have to work for it. I didn't think I could control it, but you're strong kid, you've got a good heart, just power through, and you'll be the strongest one of us."
Following his soliloquy, Thatch looked down at Luffy, who stuttered dizzily, "You talk too much," before falling over. Power and energy crackled around him, enormity of existence flowing through his entire being like an awakening, but this was only as long as he could maintain consciousness, which soon faded along with the power.
Wildest Son
Fog filled Luffy's head as he groggily awoke. Sounds came slowly, as did the candle light at first, but he soon realized that while Makino held his hand, Marco was working over top of him, checking his IV and the medicine flowing through it. The Mayor hollered at Thatch, who accepted his scolding which acted as punishment for child endangerment, not mentioning that in court his more relevant charge would probably be piracy. Teach sat in the corner on a stool, scratching at the peeling wallpaper in the plainly decorated med bay. The scratchy cotton of the blanket over Luffy's legs was kicked out, and everyone was taken aback.
Makino dove at Luffy, holding him tight, while Marco noted, "Must have been the strain of the power: he's so young, that Devil Fruit was a lot to deal with but he'll manage." As if on cue, the towering Whitebeard knelt to come through the too short door into the only marginally taller room, he crouched to get close to the boy and he chuckled, "Gurara, you're something Little Peach, sure had your poor mother scared for a while," Newgate patted Makino's shoulder, which was still embedded into Luffy's neck. The Mayor pointedly shouted, "How can you react like that, are you going to just brush this off? Luffy can never swim again! He just ate the damn thing and now he's in the hospital, are you sure those things aren't poisonous?"
Marco chuckled, then his jacket caught fire with a teal, blue-green look and his face became bird-like for a moment, before flickering back to normal and the fires went out. "I don't think they're poisonous," He said. Luffy cleared his throat and corrected, "That's Makino she just takes care of me, I don't have a mom."
"Gurara, we're all children of the sea pipsqueak. Family doesn't have to be who you're born next to; but sometimes it's who you choose," Newgate explained, and got even closer, his breath nearly mingling with Luffy's own, "Gather your own crew if you want, but know that when we see eachother again, we can be your family. I have to leave soon, but we will meet again, we're sons of the sea, bound by it's call to follow our hearts and with it our dreams. Make your dream come true: run free, leave this town and all of it behind. You make sure to follow your heart and never regret it; when you're ready you can have a family with us."
Marco nodded when Luffy looked from his promised father to him, then the tired boy looked at Makino nervously, who smiled and kissed his cheek, "You can be whatever you want to be -" As she was saying this, a man came in with a spider tattoo and an oddly long tongue, his pale skin glistened in the candle light, "Sorry Pops, what did I miss? Jozu and I were playing cards but -"
Newgate smiled and introduced, "This is our new brother, Monkey D. Luffy."
Wildest Son
It was a few days later, in the middle of the night, when the Whitebeard Pirates were about to leave Fuschia. 'The New World is waiting' Newgate had said before bidding farewell to the boy who'd fought him so fearlessly, though he was then being forced into hard labor scrubbing all the dishes while the Mayor commandeered over him, roaring, "No Fuschia Villager is going to go out and become a 'son of the sea' or whatever, no pirate life for you Luffy!" Yet somehow everyone knew, from the gentle Makino to the caring Mayor, to the now quiet Luffy, that it was destiny that he become a pirate, an unstoppable force beckoned him forward, but not quite yet. He had to get stronger. All of the Whitebeard Pirates had their own presence, their own tangible power that towered over Luffy's own, but he knew he could match them all, in time.
Waiting was fine with Edward, who then had to wait no longer, since just as he watched the last of his men load up their cargo onto the ship in the far away dock, a broad shouldered, barrel chested mammoth of a Marine walked up the beaten path toward him. Graying hair was on his head, close cropped yet somehow still wild, not unlike a certain boy Newgate had only recently gotten to know. Whitebeard recognized the living legend before him, appreciated his easy gait, his relaxed look, but didn't mistake easiness for weakness, he could sense the power bubbling just beneath the surface of the man before him. "I met your grandson Garp," Newgate began, "It's been a long time, since you chased us all so many times."
"Yeah, you're right about that, but it seems I ought to chase you outta town again. Luffy doesn't want any part of that business you're in."
"You and I both know otherwise. He's got the soul of a pirate, he's going to be the best of us."
"That Will, it always carries, it takes the strongest caliber to fight off it's temptations."
"You're right, the temptation to do nothing of note within this world."
"Next time we meet, it'll be under different circumstances Newgate."
Wildest Son
Day 1 Shellstown
As they got on the flambouyant paddle ship, Ms. Independence Day eyed the gaudy goose figure head with a note of what could have been mistaken for sea sickness. Mister 2 practically shoved her aboard, though he was careful not to touch one of the less than appealing stains on her grimy gi. He shivered at the very thought, but nearly jumped out of his skin when his men all thunderously cheered, and welcomed the two of them aboard. It was soon that they started to set off, and Mister 2 ordered, "Girl, change into something a little – less smelly," She nodded and walked off just as the boat began to head out.
2 wondered, Why does a girl so young carry such a burden on herself? A maiden should be freed of such things, allowed to fly like a beautiful goose not a shackled up pidgeon! As if reading his mind, Miss Independence Day whispered just behind him, "I owe Zero a debt, I'm going to work it off." But Bon Clay didn't press his partner, and she walked off.
It was then that two women made their presence known to the ballet aficionado, one with bright orange hair and tanned skin, the other a pale blunette, the tan girl seductively sighed, "Sorry we had to stow away Captain," She winked, and the other continued, "We just really needed a ride to the next island, there were too many people for us to get comfortable here." Clay laughed at the girls' attempts, waving them off, "Not to worry ladies, Orange Town is on the way, we'll drop you off tomorrow morning, that boy with the scar and the other one sure caused a stir in this place didn't they?" Nami elbowed her sister playfully, who just ignored her and blushed.
Wildest Son
In a Different Time
Anger. Rage like molten lava crawled up his stomach and creeped into his throat with the vomit that soon came as well, mingling with the wet sand of the beach. Fury unlike any he'd felt before, not the immature pouts he'd had, or the frustrations he'd dealt with prior, a new peak of wrath that threatened to block out his vision entirely with bloody red. This was a fire large enough to boil the ocean.
Sadness. This was a cold chill that cracked his skin and strangled his breath, frosted over his heart and choked out his tears. Eyes stinging like frostbitten fingers, the tears would not come any longer, his heart was nearly shattering as it beat as a senseless drum against a stiff pair of lungs, and breath clutched closer to his chest than even a birth of a child would have forced. This was a blizzard that engulfed the world like an Ice Age.
Loneliness. A howling wind echoed through his ears, cries for help nearly lost to the storm of emotions. He was alone, kneeling on a beach, wishing he was here. What was he supposed to do? The overwhelming cyclone enveloped him easily and indifferently, and just as easily he figured he could crawl over to the water, shove his face in and wait, yet when he got there, the only thing he put in was his hands. This loneliness was a tornado, ripping apart his soul like paper in a whirlwind as a ship drew further and further from him.
This was fleeting though, because as he stuck his hands in the water, then came 'The Drought'.
*He felt THE D.
**At this point, Speed Jiru, Fossa, and Izo haven't joined Whitebeard's crew yet.
AN:
As always a special thanks to all my new favorites and followers, but especially those that have kept keeping up with this story, we're now well over 1,000 views! But anyway, thanks to AmaltheaLuchiaAizen(great name not sure if the last bit is a reference to Bleach or Buddhism but it's dope either way honestly(thanks for following and favoriting)), Drachenmeister(for following and favoriting), El Pirato(for following and favoriting), Neo gen x(for following), Tombs456(for following and favoriting), sudhush(for favoriting and following), wjgr(for following and favoriting), Aino Mafin(for following), Bluemoonyue(for following), firewolf467(for following and favoriting), Bape(for favoriting), Scaunders(for favoriting), diwinter(for favoriting), and midoKchie(for favoriting!).
R&R:
For the sake of simplicity I'll be listing both of 'Matt's reviews as one just because they're prety short.
Matt(Rev): Meh. I mean making Morgan a good guy?! He's one of the first baddies that's shown and you've got him as nice? Also I'm really confused about who this Mr. 2's(Izo) is, along with whose good and whose bad. Also what happened to Alvida, the last we saw of her Luffy used his fruit and sucked her up. second review: Sorry was a little woozy when reading Mr. 2's description. He's same as canon.
(Res): Hmm while I do understand your thoughts on Morgan, I feel the contrast between this story and canon would improve the integrity of this world. This is completely different than in canon, all because of a single incident slightly described in this chapter, I hope everyone understands that. Mr. 2 is the same Mr. 2 from canon with minimal change in backstory. Whose good and whose bad will largely be a case by case basis with Luffy's opinion and the society's opinion of them being the key to how they're going to be viewed by the story overall. I was pretty sure I had a brief sequence of Alvida somewhere but I've been through more than 5 drafts of this story, so I'm not sure if it ended up there or not, at a later date I'll have to read through it. Anyway, thanks for reading this far and reviewing twice, I hope you stick with the story despite the changes I've made to the canon.
jurassicdinodrew(Rev): I sure like it if Vivi, along with Carue the duck, Conis and Su and Carrot and Jinbei will join the crew as well, those girls might be able to keep Luffy calm as Vivi did on Drum kingdom and Conis can use her harp music to smooth-en the tense in the crew if that happens, just an idea and all, well good luck with this story.
(Res): Yeah it'll be a little bit before Vivi is introduced into the story, I do have a little something planned for her. Conis and Su are a bit less likely to be very relevant to the story, while the jury is still out for Carrot, though I do have a plan for Jinbe. Luffy will be mostly calmed just by the presence of friends and/or family, when he's alone that's when there's something to worry about, great idea with Conis and her Harp though, I'll do something with that. Thanks for the good wishes and hope you enjoy the story!
Scaunders(Rev): Thumbs up
(Res): Thanks for the review, I hope you decide to keep reading and enjoy the rest of the story.
El Pirato(Rev): will you have canon characters with original Devil Fruit powers?
(Res): I currently don't have any plans for original devil fruits to be in this story, nor do I plan for any OC's, but you might find it interesting that in early drafts of this story I had Sanji eat a Devil Fruit that was actually eaten by someone else in the story, a person who will not be appearing in the next Saga, despite his usual placement in the story, though you can make of that what you will.
Mr. Soze(Rev): Call it a prologue, I call it a bad chapter. this introduction could have been done better by adding it to chapter 1 or just not adding it at all. Its better to show what you wanna say through events and story plot rather than just writing out what we can come to expect from your story.
It was just 2 paragraphs and double that of author's notes. Not a fan of doing that.
But, the concept as presented in the summary, could be interesting.
(Res): Thank you for the review, but especially thank you for the criticisms. I was truthfully looking most forward to responding to this review out of the four, though they were all very much appreciated, I especially appreciate criticism in my writing so that I can keep growing my craft adn improve. I do see what you mean by it being a bad chapter, I originally planned the Prologue to be a little thing from Coby's POV but I changed my mind last minute and ended up being basically a castrated version of my original layout, thanks for the review, and I understand what you mean by the long AN, I just wanted to explain how I planned to layout my story in a small little semi-chapter. Thanks for the praise as well, and thanks again for the review.
Sorry if I missed anyone in my follows/favorites/review shout outs I'm doing most of this section at about 2 AM so I'm a bit out of it when it comes to details but I'm wondering if people would prefer these long ass ANs of mine to be at the beginning of each chapter... I wouldn't think so because if you just wanna skip to the good stuff you just gotta get it real quick and go, then you can read this mountain of stuff afterwards if you want, but at this point I don't know. Thanks again!
Well, there's another chapter, see you next time and remember to read, review, and get your game on!