A Father's Story

Severus raced through the woods trying to find any trace of his daughter, but it was no use. She was nowhere to be seen. "Lily!" he yelled as he kept running. 'Where could she have gone to?!' he thought as he continued to run, his desperation growing with each second. 'I have to find her!' he thought knowing that once he did, he would have to convince her to come back, and to tell her the full truth.

/

Lily kept running as fast as she could through the trees, some leaves falling as though to help conceal her having passed through the path. 'He had the mark!' she thought as she continued running only to trip on an unseen root and fall flat on the cold unforgiving earth as she felt her arms, hands and legs get scraped up. 'He is a death eater…one of the followers of the darkest wizard…' she thought as tears streamed down her face while she shifted and curled into a tight ball. 'Why…' she thought as tears continued to fall freely.

Unknown to Lily, her guardian angel was not far from her watching over her. After several moments of watching the scared child on the forest floor crying, the woman moved over closer and knelt beside Lily. "You need to give him a chance to explain." She said in a gentle tone. "Despite how it may appear, your father having that mark on him does not make him a bad man."

"How can you be so certain? Only the darkest and most twisted of wizards and witches who believed in the discrimination and destruction that wizard believed in would have accepted the mark." Lily sobbed as she curled into an even tighter ball.

The woman was silent for a few moments more, trying to think how to convince the child before her. That was when she came up with an idea as she reached out and carefully rested her pale hand on Lily's forehead, but not so that it would phase through her. "Think back on your time with him, did he ever once do anything that hinted he had the beliefs of those people?" the woman asked as she saw felt Lily go still beneath her hand as she moved it only to see the child had fallen asleep.

In that moment the woman reached up shifting her hood to reveal part of her face, pale almost like snow and gentle blue eyes. "Rest, your father will find you soon." She whispered before moving her hood back to conceal her face as she stood only to vanish. 'I don't know if this will work, but he has come into contact with her countless times so he should be able to see me…I hope…' she thought as she appeared not to far from Severus.

"Severus Snape!" she yelled as he froze.

Severus had stopped running gasping for breath as he was near to the point of being like a mad man until he heard a voice that sounded vaguely familiar call his name. Looking toward it, he saw a figure in a deep cloak standing among the trees. His eyes went wide as he raised his wand and trained it on the figure. "Who are you! How did you get past the wards!?" He demanded but the figure merely turned and started to near glide away. While standing there he felt an odd sense, something deep down telling him to follow the figure, that they might know where Lily was. So he went after the figure as he kept his distance, with his hand still clutching his wand at his side, ready to throw a hex or curse should it come down to that.

Within a matter of minutes, the figure had stopped moving only to vanish. "Wait!" Severus yelled, running forward only to realize the figure had been standing over the form of his daughter who was still curled in a ball on the ground. "Lily!" Severus breathed in relief as he rushed over and knelt beside her only to gather her up to his chest as he hugged her close. "I am so sorry!" he spoke, his voice shaking ever so slightly as he remained there only for a minute or so before slowly standing, still cradling Lily to his chest. "I promise I will give you what little explanation I can for my foolishness in my youth…" he whispered though he knew she probably could not hear him as he carried her.

Soon they were back at the house as Severus carried Lily over to the couch, placing her down, only to wave his wand, casting a ward spell, to keep Lily in. He wanted to at least insure she stayed long enough to allow him a chance to explain. Next he waved his wand again and a warm blanket appeared over his daughter. He wanted to sit by her, to be by her side when she woke, but she knew at the moment once she woke she would possibly be repulsed by him. 'I had wished to keep her in the dark about that part of my past since it turned so many that I cared for away from me…' Severus thought as he stopped himself from reaching out to his daughter once he realized he reached for her with his left hand. The hand that was tainted since he had the mark on his left forearm. The one he had once offered to the dark lord to take his mark as a sign of his loyalty to the darkness.

Within Lily's dream she found herself surrounded by darkness. Various images flashed before her as she could hear muffled voices, ones arguing. A male and female, while the female sounded frail the male sounded livid. Once she focused on them, she found she could hear more of what was being said.

"I do not care! That thing is not my child! It is the reason that you are in the stat you are now!" the male voice yelled as she could feel the anger from the voice that shook her to the core.

"She is a blessing." The weaker female voice insisted. "That is why she is named for her aunt, so that she will grow up to be a strong woman." There was nothing but love in the female voice. "My beautiful…"

The voices suddenly stopped as they were replaced instead by an image of her with her father when she had only been about five, shortly before her father and her had gone and saved Harry. They were in the living room of the house as she was sitting on his lap while he held open a picture book before them so she could stare in awe at the pictures as they moved across the page. Once the story was done, Severus had closed the book and sat it to the side before bringing his arms around Lily as she giggled while he kissed her on the cheek.

'Could he really be different than he was when he took the mark?' she thought to herself only for the dream to shift again with her facing a child form of herself.

"Daddy saved me from the loneliness." The younger version of Lily said.

"The loneliness?" Lily asked her younger self since in truth there were vast gaps and haziness in her memory from before she was around four.

"Before Daddy, we were alone. He saved us, not just from the loneliness, but also from the bad people." The younger version said as Lily became even more confused by what the younger version of herself was saying.

"The bad people…?" Lily asked since she did not remember ever being in danger besides at the hearing for the custody of Harry when they had been kids.

The appearance of her child self changed, shifting to that of a grown person as they advanced on her. "Stay away!" Lily screamed only for a figure of her father to appear before her sending a curse at the other that fell to the ground only to shatter as she stared in shock. Then there was a light as everything was blissful, nothing but happiness…

Lily wanting nothing more than to remain there, in the warmth of happy times, but it seemed that fate had other plans for where she was to be. Within only a few moments, a dark shadow was cast over Lily as she turned to see what it was as the image of a wolf appeared. "I-it can't be!" she spoke in a shaking tone as she went to back up but the wolf advanced on her. The wolf growled as though it were trying to communicate with her as she backed away even more trying to avoid being too close to it. "NO!" Lily screamed as she felt a surge of power from within her that seemed to ripple out the dream around her shattered sending her falling through darkness once again.

"Child of the moon!"

"One with the curse!"

"Kills to be allowed to exist."

"Stained with blood from birth."

"Unwanted."

"Unloved!"

"Unnecessary!"

"One destined for darkness."

"Bringer of death."

"The Sacrifice."

Various voice kept screaming at her as she fell through the darkness as she bunched up slightly as she fell. 'Dad…Tonks…Draco…Harry…' She thought as tears fell down her face. 'Someone…please…help me!' she cried in her mind. Suddenly she stopped falling as she felt that someone was there with her while she was suspended in darkness.

"Lily…" a gentle voice called as she opened her eyes only to see a blinding light coming toward her. "Please…wake up…" the voice pleaded as the light was beside her.

"I can't…" she whispered weakly. "I am one who is meant to only cause trouble, so I should fall into eternal sleep…" she said as her eyes were hollow. "Everyone around me is hurt or leaves…" she said as the darkness around her shifted only to reach out and grab onto her.

"I will not let you!" the voice spoke more firm only to reach for her. "You are precious to so many, so do not let your heart be over taken by this darkness!" the voice ordered as Lily looked toward the light where the voice was originating. "Take my hand!" it ordered as a hand appeared from the blinding light.

Almost as an automatic response, Lily weakly raised her hand toward the hand that was from the light only to rest her hand in the other to feel them close it around her hand…

/

Lily slowly started to wake as she felt that she was no longer outside because of how it was no longer cold. She went to shift as she slowly opened her blue eyes as she realized she was on the couch in the living room with a blanket on her. 'What a weird dream…' she thought as she felt it was slipping away from her so fast that she could only remember that there had been another there. One shrouded in blinding light. 'Who…' she wondered as she felt that her hand was in another's. Turning her head slightly toward where she could feel someone else close by, she saw that it was her father.

"Lily…" Severus spoke in relief, glad that she had woken, that is until she had shifted and pulled her hand out of his. "I know that you are upset that I have kept the truth from you." He admitted in a low tone. "I had planned to tell you once you were older, to protect you." He was near pleading now for his daughter to understand and at least hear him out.

Lily looked toward her father since she had seldom ever heard him speak in such a tone. "Protect me? It seems more like you were trying to protect yourself from your own mistakes." Lily said in a harsh tone as she saw her father flinch at the tone she had spoken in.

"Maybe…" Severus whispered looking down in shame. "I do not expect you to forgive me for the sins I committed, but I just ask that you hear me out, with what led to the greatest mistake of my life…" he spoke as he almost didn't dare to look at his daughter in the face. And he wouldn't have, had it not been for several minutes of silence that drew his onyx eyes up to look at his daughter as she moved to be propped up a bit more by the pillows on the couch. "Lily, please…" he whispered as an image flashed through his mind. That of him as a fifteen-year-old begging day and night for the only woman he loved to forgive him.

For several minutes, Lily remained silent even as the figure of her guardian angel was standing over by the mantle watching from within her deep hood. "Lily, you should give him a chance to explain. He speaks the truth, that he had not told you thinking that he was protecting you." The woman said as Lily closed her eyes thinking for a moment before she decided she would at least hear what her father had to say.

"Alright…" she whispered, though her tone betrayed that she was still on edge about the whole situation.

Severus smiled ever so slightly, relief evident on his face at hearing that Lily would at least hear him out. "Stay here and rest for a moment…" he urged before standing from where he had been on the floor to head up to his room. Once in his room he went over to his night stand and opened it before tapping his wand on the bottom of the drawer to reveal it had been a fake bottom with a spell on it to prevent Lily from getting access to it on her own.

'I should tell her the full truth…even on what happened when she was five…' he thought to himself as he grabbed an old looking photo album from it along with a box with a few things to help prove what he was about to tell her. Steeling himself he walked from his room and back to the living room only to sit the album and box down on the floor. "Sit on the floor with me." He said as he put down a blanket so that they were not on the cold floor as Lily shifted and moved down to the floor, but she still kept distance between her and her father. "Before I start, I want you to know this will be the full truth." He said as Lily gave him a look that still hinted she was being distant.

Sighing, Severus picked up the album and rested it on his lap before opening it to reveal a picture of him as a baby with a woman that had some of the same features as him. "My mother, Eileen married a muggle man named Tobias Snape. He was abusive towards both my mum and I because of how he did not care for much, including how mother was a witch and I was a wizard." He said as he turned the page to reveal a picture Severus at about age ten with a girl that had hair like fire and eyes like Harry's. "This is me and Lily Evans shortly before we started Hogwarts together."

"Evans…?" Lily whispered as the name sounded familiar.

"Yes, she was Harry's mother." Severus spoke tenderly as he reached out touching the edge of the picture, even moving his hand to be near the female as it was a muggle photo. "Her parents, nice people, took this not long before Lily and me started school. She was the first to actually be kind to me, as where we grew up, in Cokeworth, I was seen as the odd Snape boy. Because of how, as you can see in the picture, my clothes did not match or fit properly most of the time." He said as he glanced to the side to see that Lily had inched closer so she could see the worn pictures more. "However, when we got to school it became harder to maintain our friendship." He said turning the page and pointing to one that was of Severus and a group of others. "I fell in with a bad crowd after I was sorted into Slytherin while Lily went to Gryffindor." He turned a few pages to show him and Lily growing up year by year. When he got to the fifth year he hesitated, almost considering just turning the page as quick as he could, but he knew this would be a pivotal moment to his story.

"This is the last picture that Lily's parents took of us because after our exams that year…I pushed her away for good…" Severus spoke, his voice shaking ever so slightly. "Where a group of Gryffindors, they called themselves the Marauders, decided to take part in what they delighted in. Torturing me." Closing his eyes, Severus could see the memory playing through his mind. "They would always do anything they could, from small pranks to outright humiliating me in front of numerous other students." Severus paused allowing a sigh to pass his lips.

"Why would they do that?" Lily asked, any trace of the tone she had used before was gone as she was now sitting right beside her father staring at the photo for a moment before looking up at her father as he opened his eyes to look at her. "Surely you had not done anything to them to lead to them doing such horrible things."

"They did it just to make me miserable. Much like what Levi Lupin was doing to you before you were to stay in our quarters in the dungeons of Hogwarts. He is just as much a bully as his father." Severus growled in a low tone before realizing what he said, since in truth Lily was also that man's child…no!

She was his!

"So just because they could?" Lily asked in a voice that was barely above that of a whisper.

"Yes. There were four of them. James Potter, Harry's father, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew." Severus paused for a second. "James delighted in tormenting me because of how he was always trying to get Lily's attention, yet at that time she would have preferred to hex him sooner than look at him. She found him absolutely horrid." Severus smiled faintly at the memory of a time Lily Evans had once gone off on a rant about James and his group. Her flame red hair had moved about her as she paced while ranting, entrancing him even more in her beauty.

"Then why did she get with him? Why not you?" Lily asked bringing Severus back to the then and there.

"Because that time, James and his gang pushed me too far. So when Lily stepped in telling them to stop, I took out my anger on her." Severus stared at the photo. "I called her the detestable name that some use for those that are born with no magical parents." He said as he glanced toward Lily seeing the disbelief in her face. She knew the term, since all the child had done while at Hogwarts was read. "I tried for the rest of our time at Hogwarts to try and get her to accept my apology, but by our seventh year she was dating James. Something that pushed me further down the path that shortly after graduating led me to make the mistake you saw the physical scar from." He spoke moving his left hand from the side of the album so that he could turn over his hand to allow the dark mark to be once again fully visible.

"I continued to love Lily, yet I knew I could no longer win her heart. So I went about things in a way that led to the destruction of so much. I offered my services to the dark lord as a Potions Master, and my knowledge of curses and hexes. That is…until a fateful night." He spoke in a sad tone. "I overheard a prophecy saying that a boy would be born at the end of the seventh month that would be marked as the equal of the dark lord. I reported it back to the dark lord, realizing too late that I had all but helped secure the death warrant for the Potters." He said as he glanced to Lily only to see the look of absolute horror on her face.

"I raced to inform Dumbledore so that he could try to keep the Potters safe, but he was not able to. Because as you know, on Halloween after Harry turned one…" Severus had a distant look on his face. "The dark lord found them and proceeded to kill James and Lily only to fail at killing Harry." He said looking away from Lily.

After several moments, she spoke in a small voice. "You…were the one that caused Harry to be placed with those horrible muggles?" Lily asked inching away from her father once again. "All because of how you had not liked who his mother had married?" Lily accused, her blue eyes hard as stone.

"It was not that Lily." Severus spoke turning slightly to face his daughter resisting wanting to reach out and pull her close to make her see the reason. "The world was plunged into war when I was still in school, I picked the side of darkness. Lily and her husband opposed it, along with many others. Then there was the prophecy I mentioned, the dark lord assumed that it was Lily and James Potter's son. When in truth it could have been another." Severus admitted looking to the side. "There has not been a day since that I have not regretted what I did then. I was a foolish man when I was younger, believing that what all of us in the dark lord's service were doing was for the better. That we would make the world better. I had been bullied in school, unwanted at home. Making it easy for me to be drawn to him. It was a form of acceptance I had longed for." Severus spoke only to see Lily look away from him. A small gesture, but it led to him feeling like he had been stabbed through the heart.

"So that is why at first you were hesitant to be open toward Harry after we found him that day…" Lily said angling her face toward the floor.

"Yes, out of guilt." Severus whispered. "But I am now a changed man." His voice was fully pleading now.

"How can I trust you!" Lily hissed at her father as she turned her harsh blue eyes to glare at him for a brief moment before looking away, anger still evident on her face.

"Because it was you." Severus whispered in a defeated tone as he lowered his gaze but he could feel his daughters gaze back on him. No longer hard, but questioning. "I had fallen into nothing but darkness, but you rescued me from that after your mother died." He said as he looked up slowly seeing the curious look on Lily's face, and near longing. For he had never spoke of her mother before besides that she had passed. "Before that, I still distanced myself, having no father figure to look to for an example of how to be a proper father for you. Though when your mother passed, it was just you and me. I hesitated to let my heart open up to you, more so with how your illness, I was not sure if I would have you for very long." He admitted though at the moment he knew he was lying about part of the story. Though he did not want her to feel like she had ever been unwanted.

There were several moments of silence while they sat there on the floor staring at one another. Neither noticing the saddened house elf who had come to the door from the kitchen for a moment before turning and quietly going back to the kitchen without a sound.

"Though there was an incident a few years ago…" Severus said setting the photo album on the couch and standing before offering a hand to Lily as she took it and he helped her up. "But this one is better that I show you instead of tell you." He said as he knew that at the moment she did not remember it at all, as far as he knew. He led her up to his room where he left her in the center of the room as he retrieved a pensieve that he carried over to his night stand after waving his wand to send lamp on it to the bed. "This is from when you were five…shortly before we found Harry…" Severus said resting the tip of his wand against his temple. After a brief moment he moved his wand away from his temple, pulling from it a silver strand which he lowered to the pensieve where it detached from his wand and fell into the reflective surface. "Only if you are ready to see it…" Severus said as Lily looked toward her father and nodded, to show that she was ready.

"I want to know the truth." She said with a determined tone.

A/N: I am sorry this chapter took longer than expected to write. I was originally going to have this chapter and next chapter be one, but I found I preferred having the two split. This chapter as well as next will be slight emotional roller coasters for Severus and Lily as a secret he has kept from her for five years comes to light. Someone from Severus' past will make an appearance in the next chapter! Now I want to thank NatNicole and Alia Prior as well as dedicate this chapter to them for how they have reviewed several chapters since I started writing this story. As well as a very special thank you to those who have favorited and/or followed this story. I hope everyone is enjoying it so far. I hope to have the next chapter up soon!