It was almost dawn when I return from Carlisle's, the house looked empty, there were not lights on, and I didn't hear anyone inside. I started to wonder if Edward had even gone home, was he that mad or upset? For a moment I was scared to go in and face him if he was there, and I found myself lingering at the door waiting for the courage to go in. Fifteen minutes had passed before I decided to turn the doorknob, it was locked! Why was it locked, it was never locked when we were home, maybe Edward wasn't home, where would he be?
I made my way slowly to the back of the house to where the patio to our bedroom was and took a great leap and silently landed on the railing. I hoped down onto the actually patio and without thinking about it I made a slight thud, looking up I noticed the patio door was open and I cautiously walked in.
Edward was laying in the middle of our bed, his arms were crossed behind his head and his eyes were closed, he looked peaceful even though I knew he was most likely still upset from our little tiff earlier today. I walked into the closest and changed my clothes, I put on a dark red tank that showed the curves of my slender stomach and a pair of tiny black shorts that were just big enough to cover everything, but usually made Edward excited. I waited a while before I went back into the bedroom, and when I turned around I was startle by Edward, he was standing in the doorway of the closet and I froze where I stood.
"Are you ready to talk now that you are done flirting with Ryan," he growled.
"What is your deal, I wasn't flirting with Ryan, and we were having a normal conversation, its not my fault you cant control your jealousy Edward," I almost shouted back.
How dare he accuse me of flirting with Ryan, was I not allowed to have friends outside the family, I was starting to see a different side of Edward I didn't like.
"Don't turn this around on me, ever since Ryan came into town you have done nothing but flirt with him and undermine me, do you want to be with him? Am I not good enough for you Bella, are you still mad about the Tara thing, I said I was sorry, what else more do you want me to do? I bought you a house, I give you everything you want, everything you need, I am running out of ideas here Bella," he said noticeably offending me.
"Is that what you think Edward, that I care about the material things you do for me or give me? Do you think that you can buy my love, that if you "buy" me things I will love you more? Well you have it wrong, I have done nothing but love you for who you are Edward. I accepted that fact that you were a vampire and I wasn't, I was there for you, don't you remember any of that. If you want it all back take it, take the cars, the jewelry, the house, my ring, my love. If that's what you think I want then what's the point? I loved you after you left me, I never stopped, I never will, you have always been good enough for you. I feel like I am the one that's not good enough like you have to do everything for me. You picked out my car, this house, everything, I rarely have a say in anything and I cant live like that anymore, things need to change. This has nothing to do with Ryan or even Tara for that fact. And no, Ryan isn't the reason I have been different lately, I just realize that I don't have any say in my life anymore, I have been so busy taking care of Renesmee, and dealing with the Tara situation, and now this stupid prophecy, that I need to figure out what it is I really want. The one time I put my foot down and say how I really feel about a situation you blow a gasket, like it's the end of the world, I feel like you want to control me, like I cant have friends like with Ryan. I don't know what to tell you anymore Edward I love you unconditionally, I never ask for anything and you and Renesmee are all I need, plain and simple!" I had tears rolling down my face now.
"I'm sorry Bella…." Was all he managed to get out.
"Stop, don't apologize, you're always sorry Edward, but you never learn do you," I sighed, tears still coming.
I walked past Edward out of the closet hoping he wouldn't say anything else. I didn't know what to do, I planned on just apologizing and getting it over with, but everything but an apology came out, I actually stunned myself. I needed Edward to understand, and this was the only way I guess, he needed a taste of his own medicine, maybe then he would understand where I was coming from, or at least I hoped he did.
"Bella, should I leave?" he softly mumbled. "Is that what you want?"
I turned to see him, his head was down and he was leaning against the wall by the closet, he looked distraught. I had to think about what he just said, was he asking me permission to run away this time?
"I don't want you to leave Edward, that's the point, you just being here is all I have ever wanted, I don't care about expensive cars, or a new house, I care about you," I said concerned that he might bolt at the drop of a dime.
"Why, I don't deserve your love, I have lied to you, and kept you from things, I don't listen like I should, I have made your life mine, why should I stay?" he honestly questioned.
"If you don't the answer to that already, then you have some decisions to make Edward. I told you that all I want is you, nothing else, no one else, I don't want to argue with you and I don't want you out of my life, I love you more than you think, I'm not going to give you up without a fight, but I'm not going to fight with you. You do what you think is best, but remember if you leave me that is the point of no return. I don't know what else I can convey to you to make you understand love, I wouldn't have married you if I didn't love you and expect to be with you forever," I said with all the love I had.
Edward didn't say anything, he just walked over to me and embraced me in a hug, kissing my forehead ever so often. I wasn't sure what this meant but he never said anything else, I was confused now. Did he plan on leaving again, it would tear me apart if he did, I wouldn't want to live without him even if I tried for Renesmee's sake, it wouldn't be the same, we were a family.
He took my hand and let me downstairs to the living room where he had the fireplace going and we just laid on the couch and watched as the embers sparked and grew. It was like we hadn't even fought, we had a thing for sitting in silence just to enjoy each other, but this was different, his grip around me was tighter, his kisses fiercer, but his eyes were dull, like all the life had been sucked out of him.
"I love you," he finally sighed.
"Then don't you ever leave me Edward, promise me, that's all I ask," I pleaded.
"I wont leave you Bella," he spoke softly.
After the fire dulled I finally got up, we had so much to do and now only two days to do it in now, Renesmee would be home soon, so I had to make sure her room was ready for when the bed was delivered later today. Not to mention that Aro was coming so I had to make some kind of arrangement for him, I suppose the basement would do for him, I wasn't about to make him the most comfortable, but I wasn't going to let him be uncomfortable either. It was a loose loose situation and I didn't know where to begin.
Today was finally Saturday, my Renesmee was coming home tonight and I couldn't be anymore anxious than I already was, I had made my way to Carlisle's with Edward before dawn and started pacing the moment we got there. Carlisle was going to pick them up at the airport around five and each moment that passed seemed like it was never going to end, I just wanted my sweet Nessie home and in my arms.
"Bella, don't worry she will be home before you know it," Esme giggled as she watched me pace.
I hadn't noticed that I had been pacing that much, I guess it was all kind of silly, it was only a few hours. Nonetheless, after what had happened since they had all left, I needed my little daughter to make things all better.
"Edward, please do something to calm her down!" Rose exclaimed. "She is making me dizzy."
"She is just excited Rose, give her a break," Edward sighed. "Bella, would you like to go hunting, I know its been a few days, I am sure you are hungry," his eyes now gleaming.
I nodded and headed out the back door, we made steady pace to the river, never missing a beat with matching each other's rhythm. I made my way to a small clearing where I stopped on the edge crouching, Edward next to me doing the same. It was good to see the wildlife back in the area, it took them a little bit to come back once Tara was gone, I was thankful for both. There was a small group of wild pigs heading towards us, and I toyed with thoughts of them squealing while I devoured them. They were usually the best prey to go after if you wanted to have a lot of fun, they were smaller but quicker than deer when it came to catching them. I loved the fight they put up against me, even though there was no match in strength or agility, I always knew it would be a great hunt. Finally they got close enough where I wouldn't have to chase them but a few feet, I found the biggest one in the group and I could feel my eyes get bigger as I anticipated the feel of its blood running down my throat. I launched my attack and to my astonishment the wild pig charged me, I jumped landing behind it, grabbing its back legs and spinning it around to face me, and at the same time I launched for its throat. I squealed in terror and it drew me in more, how I lusted for blood, and wanted more before I was even finished with the one I had. One by one I made my kills finding them where ever they had scattered to, I could feel Edward's eyes on my, but it didn't matter I wanted blood.
"Bella, Bella what are you doing, haven't you had enough yet?" he questioned.
My concentration was broke when he called my name and when I looked around, there were carcasses all around me, four within sight, but I knew there were at least three more in the open field, and half a dozen more than that scattered elsewhere. I had just lost control and something took me over, it was powerful, like each kill wasn't enough and I need more blood. I took a few seconds to realize what I had done and I had shocked myself, it had only been a few days since the last hunting trip, so it wasn't like I needed to hunt, Edward just thought it would take my mind of Renesmee coming home. It worked, but I wasn't sure if I just had so much frustration to get out or if something more was controlling me.
"I didn't mean to…" I managed to stammer out; still shocked at the havoc I left behind.
"Well let's get back to the house, they might begin to worry where we went off to for so long," he said turning to head back to Carlisle's house.
"How long have we been hunting Edward?" I questioned.
"Almost two hours, you were silently stalking to see how close you could get before they would notice you, don't you remember Bella?"
"Yeah, of course I remember, I just didn't think we were out here for so long, that's all," I lied, I couldn't remember anything except the lust for blood that had surged through me.
When we returned, Esme said that Charlie had called and asked if we were around, he couldn't get a hold of us on our cell phones, and that he hadn't heard from me in a while and was wondering if everything was okay. She also said that he had mentioned that he was finally moved into Sue Clearwater's place and if she saw me to have me call him or stop over to see him. Charlie never knew a good time to visit the Cullen house, he said he didn't want to disrupt us or come at the wrong time, even though he could call ahead of time. Realistically he was just busy with moving into Sue's house, and didn't want to admit it, he was also busy with work so the move was gradual, and actually it took most of a month's time to get fully moved in.
"I suppose I should go visit Charlie, I have not seen him since we were over there with Renesmee before she left," I said thinking of how much time had passed.
Edward wished me well and stayed behind, he thought it would be a good chance for me and Charlie to have some one on one time, it had been months since we were able to talk without Renesmee or Edward there. I called him just before I left to let him know I was coming over, he said that Sue wasn't going to be there for a hew hours and it would be good to see me. I kissed Edward goodbye and was out the door, Alice was away so I took her Porsche 911, and I didn't think she would mind at all, it only took me a few minutes to reach the reservation and at that point I slowed to human speed.
Charlie and Sue's house wasn't what I expected, it was bigger than Jacobs little red house, it was a two story white house, with tons of windows, the door seemed larger than most, and was made of solid oak. I turned the engine off and glanced at the door where Charlie now stood, he looked older than I remember, a bit more tired really, he leaned against the door like he used to when Edward would bring me home later than normal after school. I slowly got out of Alice's prize possession and started towards Charlie, his smile seemed to make my problems go away, boy did I miss him now a days.
"Hi dad," I said walking up to the door.
"Bella, I have missed you, it seems like forever since I have seen you last, where is Renesmee, she should be back by now?" he questioned.
"No, Alice decided to stay an extra two weeks dad, she will be back later today I believe, I will bring her over as soon as she is settled at home. That reminds me, Edward and I have our own house now, you should come by once we are completely settled in, you will love it. So, how have you been? Things have been hectic, sorry I didn't call or visit I knew you would be busy with moving in with Sue and all," I sighed, missing the days when Charlie would come home and I would be in the kitchen making him dinner.
"That's okay, I actually wanted to talk to you, so I am glad you and I are alone it will give us a chance to catch up Bella," he said nervously.
"Is there anything wrong dad?" I questioned.
"Well actually, there have been a few things on my mind as of late and I just want to figure some things out, and I think you will be able to help me," he said almost hesitating.
"Yeah dad, what is it?" I was concerned now.
"Well I know about the whole wolf thing with Jacob, Seth, Leah and the others, and honestly I am still freaked out. Being a cop you see a lot Bella, but nothing could have prepared me for that, but then there has been talk about the Cullen's around the reservation, and I wanted to clarify a few things," he sort of mumbled.
I knew what his next question had to do with and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to answer it.
"Go for it, ask away," I said carelessly, but yet afraid on the inside.
"Well, I know there is something different about you Bella, and I just cant put my finger on it, ever since you came back from your honeymoon last year, you have just been, well honestly different, but yet you have not changed. You're skin is pale and cold to the touch, and you seem not to be aging, is there something I should know?" he questioned, almost afraid of what my answer may be.
"What do you mean dad, I am just me, Bella," I pretended as if I didn't know what he was talking about.
"Please don't play dumb, you used to be clumsy and now you have this grace about you I cant explain, well actually I can, but I want you to explain things to me, I need to hear this from you," he said a little frustrated now.
"Dad, I cant exactly tell you, its like the wolf thing, if you guess what I am, then I can explain, but I cant tell you," I said quickly as if I were irritated by his questioning.
"Vampire?" he asked not even believing the words that came out of his own mouth.
"Yes… I am a vampire dad, and the Cullen's too, it was better off that you didn't know, but since you already do, I guess there is no harm in telling you everything now," I sighed.
I knew this would take a while, but it was a relief to be able to tell my father the truth, I hated lying to him, and now we could have an honest relationship, but the more he knew, the more danger he was in, but I couldn't lie to him anymore.
I told him about the honeymoon, leaving out the specifics and only telling him that I ended up pregnant, which Edward and I didn't think was possible, and also that Renesmee wasn't adopted that she was ours, which actually thrilled him to know that he was an actually grandpa. I told him how I came to be when Renesmee was born and that there was no other choice besides death, Charlie seemed to be torn at that part, he wasn't sure that death would have been much worse than being a vampire. I also told him how I didn't want human blood and that I only fed on animal blood and at that point his face was almost as pale as mine as if he were about to get sick. I skipped the parts about the Volturi, and the whole prophecy and gave him the basic run down. The whole thing took about three hours to explain, with answering his questions and awkward silences in between. When I was finished we just sat there, both of us quiet for a while till he decided to talk.
"So that explains why you never ate whenever you came over," he joked trying to lighten the conversation.
"Yes dad, I am sorry I could not tell you, but like I said before the less you knew the better. I hope you are not mad, but you have to understand my situation, we try to keep what we are a secret, if anyone even thought of us in that way, we would have to pack up and leave right away. I don't want that, I don't know what I would do without you in my life, you are a big part or Renesmee's life as well, she adores you," I sighed.
"So what does that mean, for us, and for everyone else?" he quietly asked.
"I guess nothing, we just go on living the way we were, now that you know, it will be easier for us talk and do things, not to mention that there isn't any secrets between us dad. If anything were to happen that you can't explain, you can always ask me," I said trying to reassure him.
I knew Charlie loved me, but there was something in his eyes that said he was also afraid, and that hurt me to think he would be. If there was one person in the world that I would never hurt, Charlie would be it, he is the one who took care of me when Rene was too busy and I could never thank him enough for it, but I had some feeling that he sort of regretted letting me come to live with him here in Forks.
"Does any of the wolves know you are vampires?" he asked out of nowhere.
"They all know, and we know about them, we are friends and have an alliance if you can call it that, actually more like a friendship, Jacob and Edward have actually become great friends dad, you would never believe it," I said to deter the conversation from me being a vampire.
It was starting to get late by the time I left Charlie and Sue's place, she was pulling in as I was about to leave and I made sure to thank her for taking care of my dad. She was probable what had saved Charlie since I had left, he had someone to cook for him and be there when he needed them, I hated to think of Charlie being alone, and now I didn't have to worry anymore, he had Sue.
When I arrived back at Carlisle's house, Esme had already left to pick up Alice, Jasper and Renesmee from the airport. Jacob was already at the house waiting almost as impatient as I was, waiting for his little love to return.
Edward was immediately by my side once I entered the house, asking how everything went with Charlie, and I explained that I told my dad everything because he pretty much knew I was a vampire. Edward didn't seem to pay much attention to the conversation, but intently just stared into my eyes, and every time I would catch him, he would smirk just a little as if he knew he had been busted.
"I picked up some things for Nessie at the house, do you want to see what I got?" he asked anxiously.
"What did you get her?" I questioned him.
"Just come and see, we will be back before Renesmee don't worry love," he assured me.
I followed him out to the Porsche, and he drove back to our house, he seemed to enjoy the gift he got for Alice just as much as she did. When we got back to the house Edward swept me off my feet and hurried me up the stairs and to our bedroom, and by that time, I knew there was nothing he had "picked up" for Nessie, it was just a ploy to get me home without blowing his cover on his real intentions.
He set me gently on the bed, his little smirk never leaving his face as he kissed my neck. Slowly he had moved me to the middle of the bed where he came to lay on top of me, all my frustrations were now gone, my worries out the window and the only thing that mattered now, was the fact that my body yearned for him.