Shidou awoke once again in the infirmary, confused, hurting and desperate.

All of his memories were hazy, mixed, conflicted.

He felt, inside of him, the presence of the other him, Shinji Takamiya.

This presence was hard to describe but he knew there was someone else in his mind.

Shidou was also feeling guilty because, as things were, he was only the continuation of Shinji Takamiya.

Another version of the boy who had died thirty years ago.

Shidou existed only because Shinji had been killed.

In other words, Shidou was not supposed to be alive.

But despite his guilt and this reasoning, Shidou could not let Shinji take over.

That was true. There was someone he cared enough to stay alive. Someone he wanted to…

"…I also have someone I like. Someone I would give my life for. So please… I'm begging you… let me exist. Let me be with her."

A voice resonated in Shidou's head. A supplicating voice.

Shidou did his best to chase the voice and smiled wryly.

"…really…who am I?..." he whispered.

Shidou began to sink into a dark, cold despair.

(…I always wanted to help people. I always wished people to be happy… and now, I refuse to let go because of my selfish desire.)

He was thinking about the Spirits.

(All this time, I wanted to save them, but in the end, I brought them troubles… even now, they surely are worried because of me. When I think about it, I always hurt them while wanting to save them.)

His most traumatic memory was Nia's.

He had saved her, went through a tough battle at the Comico, did his best… and he saw her Inverse in front of him.

Nia's body covered with terrible injuries, her cries of pain and despair…

The pain she felt that day… when she was close to death…

Even if it was DEM's doing.

Even if sooner or later, they would have done it.

Shidou could not help but think that it was his fault.

(If only I did not meet her that day.)

That desperate and dangerous thought crossed his head. And because of that, Shidou came to the conclusion that…

The people he was close to would suffer.

Mana had been kidnapped by DEM.

Mio had been chased by DEM.

Kotori had been turned into a Spirit and suffered because of that.

Tohka had turned Inverse when DEM nearly killed him that day.

Origami killed her own parents.

Nia went through atrocious torture.

Mukuro almost turned Inverse when he tried to interpose between her and Inversed Tohka.

In the end, everything he brought them was a fake sentiment of peace and above all, suffering and despair.

Shidou came to the conclusion that he should just go away.

Away from the Spirits he wanted liked, not because he was a coward. He had to get away to protect them from himself.

After all, DEM was attracted by his ability to hold the Spirits powers and because, by hurting him, they would Inverse Tohka and the others.

There was still the risk of having them going Inverse if he were to disappear but… maybe, maybe Kotori would be able to keep their morale high.

Kotori would surely persuade them to search for him and that hope would prevent them from going Inverse.

Yes. It would be fine. So in the end, it was truly the best choice to get away.

Shidou tried to reassure and to persuade himself that he was taking the good decision.

With that in mind, Shidou left the room and, wobbling, he went through Fraxinus' corridors, hoping not to cross path with anyone.

Step by step, he eventually reached the teleportation module used only in emergency.

Shidou did not even chose the destination and activated it, disappearing.

The only thought in his head was that one.

(I need to get away.)

Kotori entered Fraxinus' main control room, shortly followed by Reine.

None of them let anything appear on their faces or their expressions.

All of the crewmembers were at their post, anxiously waiting for orders.

"Kotori!"

The Spirits exclaimed when they saw her and immediately surrounded her.

Mana was also present.

"Sorry for my late arrival. So, what happened exactly?"

Mana shook her head, swinging her ponytail and sighed.

"As a little sister, it is my duty…"

"Ooh, as expected of Imouto #2!" Nia exclaimed.

Mana did not even bulge.

"We talked about Nii-sama's past for a while… then, we left the room to eat a bit and to take a break" Mana began – ignoring Nia's chill when she said the words "Nii-sama" –.

"Muu… we wanted to get Shidou some food so he would feel better…" Tohka added, tears welling up in her eyes.

"But when we came back… Nii-sama was gone."

Mana's lips were trembling.

Kotori closed her eyes, praying for her brother's safety and for the events to come.

When opened the eyes again, a firm resolve had replaced her anxiety.

"Right. How long were you absent from Shidou's room?"

"I'd say… half an hour? Probably less…" Kaguya answered, her hand caressing her chin.

"Approbation. We did not leave Shidou that long" Yuzuru nodded.

"We left Shidou's room for twenty-three minutes and forty six seconds" Origami announced.

"Ermm… how do you know?..." Kaguya asked.

"Every time I am with Shidou, I turn on a timer. I do the same when I leave his side. So I can exactly know how much time I spend with and without him."

"Convenient" Miku admitted. "I should do the same!"

"…Scary…." Natsumi whispered. "Yoshino, please, do not become impure like them…"

"Err…"

Kotori took her place in her commander's chair and cracked open a Chupa-Chups.

"So, roughly twenty minutes. Shiizaki! Nakatsugawa! Check the cameras of the adjacent corridors of the infirmary these last twenty minutes! Find Shidou and the route he followed!"

"Copy that!"

It didn't take long to Fraxinus' crew to find where Shidou went.

"Commander! Shidou left the airship using the teleporter! Twelve minutes ago! Unknown destination!"

"I hoped he would still be aboard…" Kotori said with dejection.

"Commander…"

"What is it, Shiizaki?"

"… on the camera, Shidou looked… very dark. I don't think a word exists to describe his expression…"

"... Reine."

Kotori called her "best friend" with a neutral tone, doing her best to hide her feelings.

"Since Shidou possess a reiha signature, scan the city to find him."

"Roger. However, scanning the entire city will take some time due to Shin's particular signature. "

"Yes, that's why I want everyone to look for Shidou in Tenguu City. We will also deploy Yggdfoliums to locate him and everyone will be equipped with an Incam."

"Imouto-chan, isn't it… risky to spread like this, especially given DEM intentions?" Nia interjected.

"… the worst situation for us would be DEM noticing this ruckus and finding Shidou first. We have to take risks… and need to retrieve Shidou as soon as possible.

"True. Pardon me, but I have a last question. This whole thing with Boy is strange. After all, Origamin also has the memories of the other world, and yet, her two personalities coexist. Why is that?"

The other Spirits murmured in approbation while looking at Origami.

"The matter is not the same. Origami here has different memories and personalities, but they are fundamentally the same. The main thing that changed was the fact she knew her parents longer before losing them. Even if it had consequences, they were essentially good ones. Shin's case is entirely different as he has another name, another family and he even died. Thus, it is not possible for him to accept his other self, as doing so would be denying his existence" Reine explained.

"Mu… I don't quite get it…" Tohka said with uncertainty.

"You just have to consider that these are entirely different situations" Reine told her.

"Yes…we'll discuss it later if it's not clear for everyone. We must find Shidou first! Go now!" Kotori ordered.

"Yes!"

Although they all had the same question in mind, none of them asked it.

When they would find Shidou… what would they do next?

When the Spirits left the room, Kotori brushed her red hair while lightly grunting.

(What is going on?...)

One of the things that worried her the most here, apart from Shidou's whereabouts, was DEM absence.

Through Tokisaki Kurumi, DEM had warned them that they were about to go all out and take Shidou's life.

And yet, they hadn't detected any unusual activity.

DEM was nowhere to be seen. Even Kurumi hadn't reappeared. Why?

In such an occasion, at least one of them would've seized the opportunity to act...

Kotori accidentally chewed her Chupa-Chups, emitting a cracking.

"What on Earth is going on…"

Shidou was walking, oblivious to his environment, not even knowing where he was going. All of his senses were blurred.

So Shidou kept walking.

Walking, persuaded that by doing so, he was saving the others.

Walking away from his family, his friends.

Walking away from the one he loved.

Before leaving for the city, the Spirits concerted themselves to spread efficiently.

As looking randomly for Shidou would not be wise, they decided to concentrate their efforts on the areas they knew Shidou would occasionally go.

Maybe, following his unconscious, he would go to these places.

It went without saying that every Spirit hoped to be the one to find Shidou first.

Of course, because they wanted to save him, but to be honest, getting some private time with him would be great too, especially with so many competitors.

Even if Ratatoskr did their best so Shidou would spend the same time with all the Spirits, dividing his time (already limited because of school) like that did not grant them satisfaction.

Tohka and Origami headed for the park where Shidou kissed both of them for the first time.

Yoshino, Yoshinon went to the shrine where they met with Shidou, accompanied by Natsumi.

Kaguya and Yuzuru took the direction of the arcade where they saw Shidou for the first time.

Miku decided to go to the Tenguu Event Hall where Shidou first saw her singing.

Mukuro was to check the Itsuka household as well as the surroundings just in case.

Nia would aim for the shopping district where she ambushed Shidou.

All of them were equipped with Incams and a device that would allow Fraxinus' crew to quickly teleport them aboard if there was any nearby danger.

Kotori, Reine and Fraxinus' crewmembers would coordinate their movements and indicate them the next places to check to cover the largest possible zone.

Shidou eventually reached a deserted small park, probably because the sun was already setting down.

The children usually playing there were surely back home now, and there were still small constructions in the sandbox.

Only silence could be heard and the last sun shafts lighting the place were fading.

This beautiful sight however was in total contrast with Shidou's dark thoughts.

"… I was wrong."

Shidou voiced his emotions aloud, as nobody would hear him anyway.

"Running away… would not do any good. It would not save them. It would only satisfy this selfish me. Plus, DEM would still attack them to study them. My disappearance would only leave them this option…"

Shidou stumbled and fell on the ground, hazy.

He tried to get up but gave up and rolled on his back, looking at the cloudless sky, slowly taking a dark color.

"…."

Shidou, the eyes tired and the mouth opened, slowly breathed in and out.

He was desperately searching for a solution, but no matter how hard he thought, he could not find one that would bring a happy end to all of them.

The only, true solution was…

Death.

"… in the end, the only solution would be for me to die, right?..."

Maybe by dying… there was a chance that the Spirits powers he held would be gone with him.

The Spirits would become normal humans, freed from their condition.

DEM's objective would be reduced to ashes.

Yes, that was probably the best solution. The logical one.

For his friends and for the world.

But to Shinji and Shidou…

None of them wanted to die. None of them wanted to be separated from their loved ones.

The heart and the mind dilemma.

However, Shidou still had the upper hand for now.

He was still dominating his body and his mind, which meant, the decision was his to take.

Still, even if Shidou were to decide to kill himself, one problem remained.

"How am I supposed to kill myself?..."

The question was almost comical, for one reason.

Camael, originally Kotori's Angel, would heal almost all the injuries he could suffer or inflict to himself.

Shidou himself didn't know the limit of his regeneration ability. If his body was reduced to a bloody pulp by jumping from a cliff, would it still heal?

"… so what am I to do?... If I keep on living, I'll lose myself and lose the ones I love. If I run, the result will be the same, and I can't kill myself…"

Shidou stayed there, his back and arms laying on the ground.

Death was such a short word, and yet it engulfed so many things.

In the end, to die simply meant to disappear.

No matter what you were, what you were to become, you would simply disappear.

All of the details, all of the possibilities of your life would be gone. Your past, your present, your future, gone.

In fact, apprehending death was impossible under the human condition as too many of one's thinking was created by human themselves.

Death was simply the unknown and human feared the unknown.

You would not even notice that you were dead.

But the most frightening thing in death was that you would lose everything you cared for… everyone you loved.

Separated by an invisible and eternal boundary.

No, thinking about it twice, there was something even more frightening.

The living would mourn the dead, would be changed, but in the end…

They would forget.

They would forget one's death. And to forget one's death meant to forget the fact that they once lived.

In a certain sense, to be forgotten was worse than death.

"Ah…"

Shidou realized he was crying.

Warm tears were rolling on his cheeks and blurring his vision.

"I don't want to die…"

Shidou could not help but to sob.

When he realized there was probably no other solution than to die, Shidou understood he didn't want to die.

Because he loved someone and didn't want to leave that person's side forever.

One after another, the Spirits reported their failure.

Shidou was nowhere to be found.

Tenguu City's cameras were too many to give results instantly, and the dispatched Yggdfolium didn't fare better.

Kotori's worries were growing stronger.

"Everyone! If you can think of a place where my aho onii-chan would be, just go for it! If you don't, Reine will give you an area to search to maximize our efficiency!"

When Nia heard it, she turned off the sound of her Incam.

She just had visited the shopping district along with her own apartment, but it would've been too easy for Shidou to be there.

Nia sat on her bed invaded by books, closed her eyes then forced herself to relax and to enter her serious and focused mode.

She would enter that state when confronted to hard issues both in games and in her work.

Right now, their situation was quite bad because of several factors.

First, Shidou could cause a disaster anytime.

Second, another player, DEM, could join the party and lead to an open battle in the city.

Third, because of the two first points, they were urged and stressed by time.

They needed to find Shidou as soon as possible.

But through normal means, they obviously would not do it in time.

(That's right. We are thinking logically. We are looking for places Boy would go to… but Boy is not in his normal state. Which means, logical course of action is banned.)

Nia clicked her tongue in frustration.

Adding a random factor to the equation was worse.

But all of sudden, she had an idea.

(We don't need to find where Boy would go… We need to find where he is.)

Actually, they (the Spirits) were trying to anticipate Shidou's actions.

They took care of the "future" and left the "present" to the cameras and Yggdfoliums, machines.

(We need something that will allow us to know within an instant where Boy is…)

Nia opened her eyes and resolved herself.

"Nia…"

Shidou murmured the name.

The name of the one he loved.

It was totally illogic. Why was she the one he fell in love with, as his job was to make Spirits fall for him?

Nia was simply the one unfit for Shidou no matter how he looked at it.

First, she was at least twenty years older than him. Such a thing was simply illegal.

He had spent very little time with Nia, if compared with Tohka or even Origami.

Plus, beautiful girls wanting to go out with were abundant… and they had made it clear.

He could go out with the twin sisters Yamai, with the busty and innocent Tohka, with the idol Miku, or even the faithful Mukuro.

And yet, Shidou loved the older, flat chested, otaku Nia.

Was it because of her story?

No… all the Spirits he knew shared a similar story, where they ceased to believe in humans, or simply avoided them.

Then, maybe it was because Nia was simply Nia.

Nia was a hard working author, a devoted otaku, proudly claiming her passions.

Nia was craving for friendship after all these years alone.

Nia's body and features, despite being modest, were cute and seductive.

Nia liked to tease Shidou but often acted flustered when he would answer to her, and that was also cute.

Nia was one of the only people he could make manga references with.

Nia would always make him laugh and yell with her tsukkomis.

Yes, Shidou loved Nia for all of that.

(So this is love…)

He made fall for him so many girls, and yet, he had to experience it.

Love.

That hurting yet wonderful feeling that would seize your heart.

That will of being with someone for the rest of your life, something you would never entirely understand.

The heart and the mind.

Shidou laughed bitterly and straightened himself, sitting on the dusty ground.

"All this time… I did not confess, because I was afraid of hurting her if I were to die…"

Shidou made a wry smile.

"But now…even if it's selfish… I'd like her to know what I felt for her…"

At this moment.

Shidou heard precipitated footsteps. Still lying on the dusty ground of the park, he turned his head toward the noises.

And, coming from a lateral street, in his line of sight.

Nia appeared, breathing hard, sweating, her red pair of glasses awry.

She was lightly dressed with only a blazer, a jean and it only served to accentuate her delicate features.

Shidou doubted his eyes.

"Nia?..."

Nia froze when Shidou called her name but she immediately ran to him.

"Boy! Are you alright?!"

"Ah… I…" Shidou tried to speak, but he was too confused to form proper sentences.

Nia kneeled down and quickly took his hand, checking his pulse, panicked.

"Boy…! Please, don't die on me like that… I didn't reach yet the resurrection tier magic… You're the main character, you're not supposed to die first…"

Nia was spouting her usual references but was at the same time crying, proof of her real concern.

"Nia… please stop…"

"How do you want me to stop?! I won't let you die here, okay?! I will carry you even with this thin body of mine, and we will find a way to save you… like… we… always do…"

"I'm ok…"

"DON'T SAY THAT! THAT'S WHAT EVERY CHARACTER ABOUT TO DIE SAYS!"

"… haha."

Despite his depressed and confused state, Shidou couldn't help but laugh.

Yes. Nia would always make him either laugh or shout.

"Don't laugh!" Nia shouted.

A short moment later, she seemed to somewhat calm down and realized that Shidou was not on the verge of death.

She gave Shidou a hand and supported him to get him up.

"…. Boy. Why did you run away?..." Nia asked, face to face, her spiky hair all messed up.

As if to match the change of mood her words brought, a cold wind blew on the deserted park.

"… because, it's better that way."

"What are you saying…"

Shidou gave her a sad smile.

"I just noticed that… everyone close to me gets hurt. I want to save people but I only bring them a fake feeling of safety and despair. And now… I don't even know who I really am."

"Boy…"

Nia's eyes flashed.

And she slapped Shidou.

Taken aback, Shidou stepped back, holding his already reddening cheek.

When he looked at Nia, he was even more surprised.

Nia was trembling, her hand still raised.

Her icy blue eyes were filled with tears of anger.

"How dare you …"

"Nia?..."

"How can you say that you brought us… that you brought me… despair…"

Nia's tears were overflowing and she was emanating pure anger and sadness.

Unable to contain herself, she slapped Shidou again, so violently that he fell down on his butt.

"Ugh!"

Nia didn't stop there and jumped on Shidou, grabbing him by his shoulder, pushing him down so his back hit the ground once again.

She was holding Shidou with so much strength that his shoulders were hurting.

He did not recognize her.

"How can you even think… that you are only hurting us?" Nia cried, holding and hitting Shidou at the same time.

"… because… that's the truth…" Shidou calmly muttered, in contrast with Nia's state.

"SHUT UP!"

Nia forced Shidou to look at her.

Her tears were dripping on his face. Her voice, usually so playful, was hoarse.

The dying sun shafts lit her crying face.

"Whatever you're thinking… you're wrong!"

Shidou could not take his eyes off Nia.

"Because… you…"

Nia swallowed.

"You saved me!"

"!"

"You saved me… who could not trust people… afraid of being betrayed and hurt… me, who rejected your attempt and did not even consider you as a true person… Me, who was not as pure as the girls you saved before…"

Nia was still sobbing and yet, she did not let go of Shidou.

The daylight died as the same time as Nia's anger and the atmosphere suddenly became cold.

"You didn't care… you just gave me a chance… and you saved me… so please… don't say that you only bring us despair…"

"I…"

"Please… Don't leave..."

Nia was begging Shidou.

"I don't care if someone else is trapped in your body… I don't care if you died once… you are just yourself… So please, stay with us… stay with me… We'll find a solution like we always do…"

It was the first time Shidou ever saw her like this.

"I'll do everything… I'll save you, no matter what it takes. Even if you're about to die, to disappear, I'll save you. I'll be your raison d'etre. Because…"

Nia hesitated for an instant.

"I love you… Shidou."

"!"

Nia's words and feelings reached Shidou's heart.

Something unlocked inside of him.

As… yes, he knew Nia had feelings for him.

But, to hear her confession.

At a moment like this.

An unknown emotion invaded him.

And finally, he sighed.

"You're wrong, Nia…"

"Wha…"

"… you saved me…"

"Boy…"

"Haha…calling me Boy again. But… I like when you do it. No…"

Shidou smiled.

"I love you too, Nia."

Shidou's straight answer, added to their current position –where a passant could've believed Nia was aggressing Shidou– made Nia's heart flutter.

"Ah…ah… I just…"

Nia released Shidou and, on her knees, grabbed her head with her hands, so ashamed she could die.

"Ahhhh… I did it… I did it for real…" she gasped, redder than her pair of glasses.

Shidou somehow felt… good, something that hadn't happened for days.

He tried to get up but had to gave up and just sat.

"Nia…"

"… what…"

"Did you mean it?"

Nia turned back and approached Shidou, still red.

"…of course I did, idiot…"

Shidou would not tell her but he really found Nia cute when she behaved like that.

"I meant… all of it. I will save you… with the help of everyone. I am not the only one worried. Imagine what would happen if you were to disappear suddenly…"

"… I thought that, by going away… I would protect you. But… Nia… You made me realize that… I was wrong. Even if, someday, I disappear to let my place to Shinji… I should not give up. I should not run away."

"Eh?

"Yes… because I would be away from you, and that would surely be unbearable for me."

"?!"

Nia could not believe her ears.

Shidou was the first one to get flustered whenever a girl would come close to him.

So, for him to speak like that?

"Oi, Boy…Are you feeling alright? The Boy I know would never… say these things…"

Shidou seemed to realize what she meant and suddenly, became red too.

"Ah, err, I…"

The truth was, his extreme fatigue, his confusion, and his previous dark thoughts had put him in a secondary state where he would let out his real thoughts.

Both of them stayed here, not able to say anything.

Eventually, Nia broke the silence.

"Well… we should head back to Fraxinus. The others are still looking for you… and we have to find a solution concerning your schizophrenia."

"I'm not a schizophrenic!"

"How do you want me to call it…"

"… you got a point here."

Shidou suddenly felt guilty for causing the others so much trouble. Given Tohka's proportion to go berserk without having him close, he felt a chill running down his spine when he imagined how Kotori would scold him later.

Both of them get up when Shidou tilted his head.

"But… Nia… how did you find me?"

"…"

Nia looked away, slightly embarrassed.

"… I used Rasiel."

Rasiel was Nia's angel and would was like a super search engine, allowing her to know everything she wanted to find out.

However, since her sealing by Shidou and Westcott stealing her Qlipha crystal, her capacities were very limited.

"But how is it… how could you?..."

Nia was now as red as could be.

"…because at that time, I wished with all my heart to find you… and Rasiel answered me…"

"…ah…"

Nia's answer also made Shidou embarrassed.

"…Why are you reacting like that?! You asked me first!" Nia protested.

"Yes, but… it's…"

"Aaah stop! Don't say anything!" Nia pouted. "But…"

She offered Shidou a gentle smile.

Her face as still red and wet with tears but it only served to magnify her beauty.

"Let's go back… together, alright?"

Her smile caused Shidou's heart to go doki and it took him several seconds to reply.

"Ah… Yes–"

Shidou suddenly stopped, looking around nervously.

"Hm? What is it, Boy?" Nia asked.

"Err… I have the feeling of being watched…"

"So your also leveled up your Detection slot skill! Impressive!"

"Well… I don't know but…"

Shidou smiled at Nia and glared at his surroundings, but there was nothing out of ordinary.

The streets were desert and calm, only the distant sounds of circulation could be faintly heard. They were alone.

Shidou shrugged and looked back at Nia who was waiting for him.

"It must be my imagination…"

However.

––––––––––––––––––––––––––!

Shidou heard a curious sound, almost a whistling. It didn't last more than a second, but that was the sound of something fending off the air.

"!"

Shidou's eyes widened and he felt a terrible sensation.

Something wet was dripping.

"…B-boy…"

"…Eh?..."

Blood stained Shidou's face and body, slowly watering the dusty ground of the park.