First Contact ….. Again?
After sorting her thoughts on Soul Reapers, how the Seireitei will make her a lab rat if she leaves this cave, Yoruichi's motives, the scientist Urahara, that she is dead, that she has powers, a spirit lives in her sword, there is a Hell and apparently this seems to be 'heaven' and that she has lost most of her memories, (I'm exhausted just thinking about all that.) Yoichi settles her buzzing mind to practice Jinzen. Sitting cross-legged on her bed and leaning against the wooden planks of her hut she calms herself down.
Taking slow and deep breaths, she places her Katana and Tanto on her lap and focuses on their faint vibrations gently seeping into her skin.
The vibrations gently increase and fill her body as her mind drifts through her subconscious towards her inner world. In the state of darkness travelling towards her inner world she waits to fully connect.
After a brief moment, Yoichi opens her eyes as the shock of ice water immediately drenches her to the core. As she quints through the downpour she holds a hand above her eyes and notices that there are many crocodile tooth shaped mountains with snowy tips all around her. She is balancing on the tallest among them with only one bare foot seated uncomfortably on its sharp tip. Yoichi dares to look down and sees that wild rapids crash at their base far, far below, separating the mountains around her.
She is taken by instant fear.
(OK well you should not have looked down. Idiot.) Through the large dark storm clouds and heavy hail and rain above, she can see glimpses of mountains that look just as below except instead of rapids in-between them, there is a blue sky, white clouds and bright sunlight streaming through. Before Yoichi thinks to become too frightened at the fact that she is balancing for her life on a precarious mountain in a blizzard, she reminds herself that this is all in her mind.
Although she knows this, she still finds it difficult to rationalise this fear when the ice stinging her face and her unstable footing feels so real.
An unfamiliar voice thunders from the clouds causing Yoichi to flinch as it angrily growls, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW COULD YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME? ME. ME OF ALL PEOPLE?"
She also remembers that from this terrifying unknown voice, according to Yoruichi, there is nothing to fear, as it is her Zanpakutō. No matter how scary it may sound or look she is as much part of it as it is part of her. (I still doubt that he would not attack me for no good reason. He sounds pretty furious to me.)
Clinging to her arms for warmth as shards of ice freeze her body, Yoichi becomes distressed as she shouts against the wind, "I am so sorry. Honestly and truly. I have been blacking-out as you may know and in my most recent state of unconsciousness I forgot about you. Please forgive me."
(She sounds so different now that she has forgotten so much. Is she really even my mistress anymore?) The voice, as if having a mood disorder goes monotonous. "I guess that is a valid excuse then. Since you have amnesia of me did you know the weather and landscape around here are not normally this way?"
(What's up with the sudden topic change…?) Taken back by his changeability, Yoichi decides to roll with it and shouts, "As you assume, I have no recollection of this place, so no I didn't. What is it usually like?"
(So polite and formal. I do not know if I can get use to this. We used to be so close.) Wistfully his voice booms, "There…. normally there are white clouds which are not blown around as wickedly as they are now. On most days you can jump from one to the other without falling through. They are speeding so fast now and if you jump, you will fall. Trust me I have tried and landing on these mountains or in the rapids is not ideal. Something has definitely not been right for a while now. I have never seen this kind of extreme reaction. Maybe it is because of your amnesia….." He pauses then continues, "The mountains are normally merely small bumps which are smoothly curved and have short grass and white spring flowers covering them…. Not snow….no…. not ever snow. Or hail for that matter..." Seemingly speaking the last bit to himself the voice drifts away in the howling wind. (I wonder how many more times I will have to explain this to her.)
Now that the voice has stopped, the hail clattering down the extreme steepness of the mountains and the rushing wind is all that fills the baron place.
Swaying, Yoichi is filled with unease as she is reminded where she is standing and pleads to the voice, "I know the weather and mountains are acting strange, but can you please help me not fall?" At the end of her sentence, she feels her centre of gravity tilt dramatically with a strong gust and the world begins spinning. Screaming with her eyes shut, towards what she expects to be pain and possible death in the rapids and barbed rocks below, Yoichi torpedos off the peak.
About to be impaled against the side of the mountains sharpened rocks, Yoichi feels warmth instead of pain.
Opening her eyes, she sees nothing but darkness. Thinking she might be dead….. again, she reaches out to the gloom. Instead of nothing she feels a velvet material enclosed all around her. Realising she is being held and not thrown into limbo, Yoichi's heart settles and she takes deep breaths. Having her heart no longer beating like a stampeding elephant herd, Yoichi relaxes into the hold. Feeling unexpectedly drowsy after the adrenaline rush she falls asleep.
Waking up, Yoichi now understands that falling asleep inside her mind means waking up in reality. With a stiff neck she gradually turns her head from left to right and then stretches her arms and legs out of being crossed for so long. "How long have I been sitting here for?" As expected, she did not receive an answer and so grabs her Zanpakutō to go tell Yoruichi what a bizarre experience she has had in her soul-scape.
Quickly reaching the top of the Ever-Long stairs, Yoichi cannot see Yoruichi anywhere yet again. Going to the entrance of the cave she is relieved to see that it is still afternoon, but still is surprised she was in her mind for approximately an hour and a half. "My goodness I was in my mind for that long?" (I have to stop talking to myself out loud. I sound crazy.) Yoichi feels glad that it is not too late because she wants to see her Zanpakutō again. (I wonder what the time conversion is for in my mind compared to reality.)
Deciding to have a short rest and some food Yoichi jogs to the kitchen.
Having a cup of orange juice in one hand and a ham sandwich in the other, she runs down the Ever-Long Stairs on the way to her wooden shack. As she speeds dangerously down the stairs Yoichi huffs in displeasure at the fact that she must go so far down to get to her temporary home.
Eventually she rationalises that it will be good exercise despite her laziness. (I think it would be a good idea to ask Yoruichi to teach me the flash step thingy tomorrow.) With thoughts on the possibilities of using such a speed-based technique, Yoichi reaches the bottom of the stairs and finishes her sandwich in what she thinks to be no time. Happy that she is no longer starving Yoichi decides to have a go at Kendo as something to do while she waits for the cat to come home.
Unsheathing her long sword, from her right hip, Yoichi feels the eerie familiarity of gripping such a weapon. She observes that the thinnish silver sword has a florescent blue glow in the middle of its' blade and when Yoichi swings it around, she is in awe as the light lags with her movements. (It's so pretty.)
However, she feels like she should be doing something with the dagger and chain, it looks like such an odd accessory that Yoichi tries to figure what. Unsheathing it as well, the young woman swings it round in her right hand by its chain and, with the other, holds the sword and practices jabs and swipes. (Geeze and here I thought it would break. Maybe it is a special kind of glass?)
The hold feels natural for her and she smiles. (Surprisingly comfortable. I wonder how long I have practiced Kendo in the past to be this relaxed with these specific blades.) When muscle memory takes over, Yoichi feels impressed that she can handle her Zanpakutō at all. She guesses that in addition to when she was alive she must have practised for many years. (Maybe swordplay was a survival necessity not only when I was alive but here against the Hollows as well?)
After splitting Kendo, exercise and small breaks between two hours, Yoichi decides to have another bath.
Thinking over the experience from Jinzen, the brunette worries that the next time she goes back inside her mind she will fall again. Remembering that she was caught before eases her mind. But even with knowing that she will be saved again if she cannot handle herself, Yoichi is still anxious about the heights. She decides to tell Yoruichi of her experience with her Zanpakutō tomorrow because she has not returned even now.
Refreshed Yoichi moves from the hot spring in the shack to find some white florally decorated pyjamas left for her on the bedside chair. Although squeaky clean she feels irritated that she has no shoes to stop the dirt clinging to her feet.
Once dressed, she leaves the shack and drags herself upstairs to eat dinner. (I think I might have exhausted myself from doing Jinzen and training more than I thought. Perhaps this is a symptom of my condition; getting tired easily. Or maybe I really have had a rough time before Yoruichi found me. Probably didn't eat food like this every day either.)
Even though Yoichi goes to bed with mental and physical exhaustion, she feels happy with the progress of today and that she is no longer hungry. To her relief, when crawling into bed, she notices that it has softened as she has slept in it once already. With the reassurance of her sword beside her and the long chain and Tanto on the floor, Yoichi drifts to sleep.
Deep into her REM cycle, Yoichi finds herself back into her mind space except she feels more relaxed and there are no wind, hail or storm clouds. (Everything must be calmer because I am asleep. Now this would make some sort of good thing to experiment on wouldn't it?)
Yoichi sees that she is yet again on the tip of one of the crocodile toothed mountains and shivers at the possibility of falling again. Even though the pointed mountains surrounding her have not changed and the temperature is still in the negatives, the water has risen to be only a metre below her and is motionless, reflecting the stars from the sky-like floor of the mountains above. "It sure is peaceful and beautiful when I am dreaming."
Yoichi's Zanpakutō decides to speak up from an unknown point in the area. "I am surprised you came back after what happened last time. At least you are still determined." (If she wasn't she may never recover.)
(I fell asleep. I didn't come here willingly you know. I better not say that though. I would have come again tomorrow anyways.)
Not knowing of Yoichi's private thoughts, the Zanpakutō continues. "You know, since this is in your mind, you can control a little of the surroundings to your advantage." He was aware of her arrival the whole time of her observations, but he let her look because he was curious and had hope that she would remember something. To his disappointment he realises that with her expressions came the awe of not seeing such a magnificent sight before.
Flinching Yoichi is startled again by the booming voice from across the underwater mountains and says, her voice shaking a little with the fright, "Oh yes of…of course. You saved me. Thank you so much. I was terrified."
"You are welcome, but you know I am part of you as much as you are part of me. Our survival is connected. Without you there would be no me. I cannot survive without a Shinigami." (She would not have died from the fall but seeing her so scared and lost like before…was unbearable.)
"Well, even so, I cannot be grateful enough." Yoichi pauses thinking of what her Zanpakutō said and then asks, "How can I use this control?" She tries to not let her eagerness show, but fails seeing as she is desperate to find out how not to fall, to who knows what end, off the mountain again if she comes back when awake tomorrow.
"Just focus on what you want to do and in time it will once again become natural for you. You did not have any trouble before you forgot…" Even though his voice is clear and calm, it has a tinge of sadness to its ending.
Feeling the rippling sadness and grief of the loss of her memories, Yoichi notices rain in the distance approaching. Not knowing how or if she can control the rainfall, it keeps coming and washes over them. Through the hushing straight rain, Yoichi spots her Zanpakutō sitting on a mountain tip in the distance. She sees that he is sitting cross-legged on an invisible floor. (Geesh he looks a bit like a traditional grim reaper.)
He is dressed in a long black hooded cloak with porcelain white skeletal-like hands protruding from his sleeves. "Looks like our time is up once again …."
Yoichi wonders how he knows this when a blinding light engulfs her vision.