'Kickboxing?'

'What? It's very useful' said Bernie defensively. 'It's not about getting into fights or anything. Stop it.'

Serena couldn't help laughing, the idea that gentle Bernie would learn how to get into physical fights. She was strictly defence only material.

'It helps you get out all of the negative thoughts and feelings in a healthy way' Bernie explained.

Serena stopped laughing at that. She was aware that she was a big part of the reason for Bernie's need to repeatedly thump reinforced pads several times a week. Bernie saw her falter and didn't try to make her feel better about it. Kiev had been her biggest fuckup in their timeline but Serena had surpassed that in a way that neither could forgive. It wasn't up to her to make amends.

'I was hideous to you, I can see that now' Serena started.

'I don't want to hear how sorry you are about it. I admit that I could have been so much better at communication, given you want you needed sooner. That was my biggest mistake. But when I walked out, I was relieved for a little while. Because I realised that it wasn't alright. I did say that it wasn't insurmountable. But I couldn't have kept lying to myself. It never could have gone the way we wanted. I can't pretend that I skipped off merrily into the sunset. I can't pretend that I haven't missed you. I can't pretend I'm not still in love with you. I just can't be with you until we know if this can really work' Bernie told her gently. She hated to see the trickling tear in response but it needed to be said.

'I would give a lot to be friends with you again. Just that at least.'

No expectations. No assurances. No attempts at rushing in and covering up their lack of compatibility with sex. No grand gestures or words. Their hearts could yearn for each other for as long as it took and they could shed another ocean of tears about what had been abandoned but they couldn't jump into the disaster that had been their previous life. They knew that it was going to take a lot of time until the trust could be repaired. But now they had the luxury of time to work on it, bit by bit.

Putting all thoughts of makeup sex on the backburner, they accepted the challenge with wiser hearts.

'Just wait til we tell our kids about it.'

Bernie saw that ghost of a smile and raised it with one of her own. She'd missed this kind of interaction. She was always going to respond to it, no matter how hard she tried to resist. Trying to explain to the others that they were prepared to navigate a different kind of love was going to be hard. They knew that there was going to be some flirting that neither could harness entirely. But they wouldn't advance towards each other in the same way.

They raided the mini bar and toasted to the rekindling of their new year's resolution.

Lovers, maybe. Too late for that, maybe. But friendship. Now they could believe that that was eternal.