"I'm glad you decided to start therapy again."

She looked at Dr. Charles and then down at her coffee.

"Jay doesn't know." She said quietly.

"Well, your secret is safe with me."

She was quiet for a bit.

"Is it safe to say that my memories won't come back?"

"There's no real way to say for sure."

"I don't think they will."

"Why do you say that?"

"We've tried everything and gained nothing."

"How are you sure it's nothing?"

"Because most of the time, I still feel lost and confused. Like pieces are missing, that I don't belong."

"Have you told Jay."

"God no, I can't disappoint him anymore."

"From what I have seen, I can tell you, that's not true at all."

A tear fell from her eye.

"I see how he looks at me sometimes. I know he says to try and trigger my memory, and every time it doesn't work, I can see the pain and failure in his eyes, no matter how hard he tries to hide it."

"He's trying his best to help."

"I wonder sometimes if it's out of guilt."

Dr. Charles put down his pen.

"I think he's doing it because he loves you. Do you think you're the one carrying around guilt?"

She ignored the question.

"He doesn't want kids." She said, changing the subject.

"Do you?"

"I like having Owen around, and Jay is great with him. The thought of kids with Jay, makes my heart flutter."

"Having a nephew and children of your own are two very different things."

"I guess."

Let's get into memory therapy, shall we?"

"Okay."

She put her coffee down. She didn't really like memory therapy. It always drained her and she felt like she got nothing out of it.

"Olivia, I want you to close your eyes."

She did."

"Good, now let's revisit that night. What's happening?'

"Everything's blurry, I can't see clearly and there's no sound."

"What can you smell?"

"Musty maybe, like it's old and dirty."

"What can you feel?"

"Fear, I'm scared."

"What else? What's around you?"

"There's something...on my ankles and wrists , its tight, like it's binding me. There's a pressure against my temple and like something is behind me."

"You're doing great, keep going, what's happening? Remember you're in a safe space."

"I can hear...muffled voices, it's people yelling."

All the sudden she could see it clearly. Jay was standing at the foot of the bed, pointing a gun but it wasn't at her, it was pointed off to her right a little bit. Jay glanced at her once but was fixated on whatever was behind her. There was a hot breath on her neck and she cringed away. A loud bang exploded in her ear and she could feel a heavy weight on top of her.

Olivia jumped out of her seat, her heart racing and breathing ragged. It took her a couple seconds to remember where she was. Dr Charles ended their session and said that she made amazing strides today, she'd broken through the toughest memory.

"Ms. McKnight?" Someone called as she walked to her car.

"Can I help you?"

"Are you Olivia McKnight?"

"I am, can I help you with something?"

He handed her a manila folder.

"You've been served."

Served! By who! She got into her car and opened the envelope. Steven's family was suing Jay for the wrongful death of their son and she was being summoned to testify. Wrongful death, were they serious. Jay wasn't answering any of the calls to his desk phone or his cell so she drove as fast as she could to the district. Trudy informed her that the unit had gone on a raid and they would be back soon, so she buzzed Olivia upstairs .

Olivia sat at Jay's desk, careful not to touch or disturb anything, and she looked at his pictures. One with Will, one with Owen, one with the unit and many of her. Some new, some old. There was a frame that held two pictures side by side.

One picture was from the first christmas they shared together. She had gone to see Jay at Will's on Christmas Eve after she had spent time with her work friends. It was also her first time meeting Will, Natalie, and Owen. Jay had begged her to stay the night, but Olivia didn't want to intrude on their Christmas morning. Natalie insisted that she stay, and Olivia was so touched that they were willing to open their home to her. Natalie had snapped the picture on her and Jay sitting on the floor in front of the tree with her head on his shoulder, both paying no mind to her taking the photo.

The second one had been from their first New Years. They had been at Molly's. When midnight struck, fireworks started going off outside. Olivia had been so excited, so they grabbed their jackets and ran outside into the cold night. Jay had an arm around her and held her close, while she had one arm around his middle and one hand on his chest. She was looking up at the sky and he was looking down at her. It was such a sweet moment and she loved that picture.

"Hey girl, what's up." Adam said, coming up the stairs.

"Hey babe." Jay said coming over to her.

She handed Jay the envelope.

"I got served papers today. Why didn't you tell me about the lawsuit?"

"Because I'm trying to get it settled out of court, you were never suppose to be involved."

"I'll make some calls and have it taken care of."

"Olivia, no."

"Yes, Jay! Their son beat me for years. Forced me to have to restart my life, he kidnapped me, I lost part of my memory, my life with you, because of him. I won't sit back and watch this happen."

Jay hugged her.

"We'll figure it out."

She pointed to the double picture on his desk.

"I love those pictures. Man, I was so scared to go to Will's to see you, afraid to meet them, I almost didn't go. And that New Years, ugh do you remember how fucking cold it was!' She laughed, 'But the way the fireworks lit up the sky, it was so pretty."

Jay was staring at her with his mouth open.

"What?" She asked, curiously.

The whole unit was looking at her and then it clicked in her head.

"I remembered that.' Her hand flew to her mouth and her eyes filled with tears,' I'm remembered!"