Seven
"Hey Rose, wait," he races toward me, grabbing my arm before I can move any further away.
I was walking down to the lake to give my parents and aunty a call. To let them know I'm alive. To a ish them a Merry Christmas.
"What is it?" I turn to look at him.
"Your gift," he holds out a small parcel, "I was your secret Santa. I know you likely think I should have had Alice change it. But I had a good present in mind and I didn't want to really buy for Edward again. That man is impossible."
I laugh and nod in understanding.
"I got him a tie," I grin up at him.
"Nice," he nods, "he wears those."
"CEO things," I pull my coat tighter.
"Wouldn't begin to know," he rolls his eyes, pushing his gift into my hands.
"You're content with the law?" I take the wrapped present.
"You can run, but can't hide etcetera, etcetera," he rolls his hand in a small loop.
Laughing I glance down at the wrapping and begin to tear at it.
"I can still return it if you hate it," he offers awkwardly.
My hands pause as I catch sight of it. My eyes flick to his in shock, before glancing back down at it.
"You didn't," a slow smile spreads across my face.
"I did," he nods, "it's nothing."
"It's everything," I squeal pulling it out properly.
Long story short, we'd gone on a date before Alice's wedding and we were on the boat to the State of Liberty. I'd told him I'd never actually visited so he said we should just go. While boarding the ferry my necklace chain got caught in my hair. I pulled my hair out and it snapped. The necklace dropping into the water below. I'd cried the whole boat trip there and back, Emmett trying his best to console me.
"I found an old photo of you wearing it online and took it to some jeweler my mother goes to. He managed to replicate it," he shrugs, "it was my fault you lost it. I suggested we go to visit the statue."
"Em, it wasn't your fault at all. My aunty gave it to me for my sweet 16. I'd never removed it from my neck," I study the pendant, "you didn't need to do this."
The rose is essentially identical. Diamonds lace the stem, with a ruby in the centre of the petals. My name is inscribed down the stem.
"I can't believe you did this," I moved into him, before realising it, crushing into him with a huge hug, "you're so thoughtful."
He's shocked for a moment that I'd even move so close. Considering we were screaming at each other not even 24 hours ago, I can't blame him. I just don't care. I need human touch at the moment or I'll break down.
"It's really nothing," he shrugs, putting a hand on my upper back, "I just knew how much it meant. I remember you showing it to me and the way your face lit up when you spoke about your aunt. When I got you for secret Santa I had the jeweller pull it together."
"It's beautiful. It's just like the one she had made," I pull back to study it again, "this means the whole world to me. I can't wait to call and tell her."
"Well I won't hold you from it," he motions to my phone, "don't be out in the cold too long."
Turning his back I watch him begin to head back to the house and try to hold back the words. But I can't.
"Hey Em," I say.
He stops turning back to look at me.
"You're a really good guy," I say, "no one I've ever met has as much honour."
His lips tilt up, just on the one side of his face, his eyes sadden. All he gives me is a nod of thanks.
I want to chase after him, hold him, tell him I'll fix this for him. I just don't know how. It's beyond my repair now.
Huffing I turn to head back to the frozen over lake, wanting to study the scenery. I want to take some photos and call my family.
When I call my parents it's nothing more than a quick merry Christmas. When my aunt picks up my whole mood shifts.
"Rosie," she coos into the phone, "oh my fucking god. You've got to try summer in Australia."
"You're in Australia?" I smile looking over the ice.
"I decided I was sick of cold weather," she says casually, "how's your Christmas going?"
"Eventful," I shrug.
"In a bad way?" She questions.
"No. But also not in a good way," I spot a stunning gazebo, placed over the water's edge.
In autumn or spring this place would be magical.
Slowly I begin to make my way toward it. Recapping everything to my aunt. She knew about Emmett. She knew how hurt I was. She knew how hard it was for me to accept love.
"Babe. It all sounds so much," she explains, "who is this woman? He's clearly so lost he can't even remember what a map looks like. He's trying to do the right thing by his child. But at the same time doing the wrong thing by himself."
"If I'd just opened up to him in the first place I could be happy with him," I step into the gazebo, walking around it slowly, enjoying the feel of nature.
"What held you back?" She asks.
"Me," I answer, "he might stop wanting me."
"He might. But he also might not. Why risk it all for what could happen? Live in the now. You had a man that was crazy about you but you gave it up because you convinced yourself there was an inevitable bad ending. When that happened anyway," she explains, "he's hot, a man in uniform, who you said made you laugh. What more do you need?"
"What if he dies? His job is dangerous," I whisper, "how could I…"
"Oh. That's it? You were scared to love someone who would leave you by choice or without choice. You'd decided with finality he'll 100% leave you," she summarises, "babe why didn't you tell him. Your fears fucked this up. He fucked up by not giving you time but you didn't need time. Because your mind was never going to change. He would have seen that. He deals with criminals every day."
"I didn't want to sound fucking dumb," I groan.
"Well you do now," she says honestly, "he worked on observation not fact. Imagine he's interrogating a murderer. The murderer isn't going to say he did it, but he can probably tell by their eyes that they're hiding something."
"You're saying he interrogated me?" I wipe snow off the railing, tracing a pattern.
"I'm saying you gave it all away without him having to even try to look very hard for it," she says, "now he's gone and accidentally failed to get over you in a way he'll never be able to backtrack. He's lost all hope with you so he's just settling for this. He doesn't want it. But what else does he do? Look to a future with you that he thinks you don't want or look to a future with a child that's definite."
"He didn't need to propose," I say.
"He didn't. But his head sounds as if it's not in the right place. He wanted to commit to a future. It's just not the one he planned. He wants his child to know he'll always be there. Just like you wanted to know. You just didn't tell him and give him the chance to show you," she explains, "I bet he wanted kids. He'd planned them with you. He's probably worried she'll fuck off with his child if he doesn't play fair. So he's securing the situation."
"You don't think he loves her?" I ask.
"God no. If he was into you, he won't be into her," she shrieks, "you can't be outdone. You're my Rosie. He will forever compare to you and everything will pale. You said he's impulsive, but I bet if he thought it through he still would have married her. Because his past burned him so badly that he thinks that's the solution to a happy childhood. A present parent."
"Something we have in common," I mutter.
"Exactly! But in different ways," she claps, "don't give up Rose. Fight for him."
"You think I should go after him?" I ask in shock.
"I think he needs the correct information before he makes a huge mistake," she explains, "I think you've never stood down from a fight. Rosalie is the queen of fighting dirty."
"He isn't mine," I sigh.
"He is. He always was," she fights back, "you just have to want it. You have to want it despite all your fears."
I glance down at the lake, looking back at myself in the reflection of the ice.
"I want it," I whisper, "I always did. Having him for five minutes is better than not at all."
"I have the whole of Bondi cheering at the revelation," she laughs, "you know what. How are you so sure that baby is his?"
I blink.
"I'm not," I shake my head.
He looked so uncomfortable earlier.
"She has something over him," I gasp out, "the way he was behaving. It wasn't Emmett. He's different when she's around."
"Dig baby girl," she says, "that man needs your help getting out of trouble."
Thanks for reading x